why women won't be the first to talk to guys?

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GhostWolf

GhostWolf

Member
May 16, 2015
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I've been wondering this now for a while. I sit in my church and none of the women will talk to me. It seems like there is a lot of single women there but none of them make that first move to introduce themselves. It's not that i'm to shy or scared it just has my curiousity now as to why it is this way. Why don't women in general make the first move? Just was wondering what women think on the subject.
 
Why won't women make the first move?

I used to have the same problem.

The solution is... deodorant.
 
lol well assure you that isn't the problem. although i have been wondering if it's because they are all wearing their glasses....
 
GhostWolf said:
lol well assure you that isn't the problem. although i have been wondering if it's because they are all wearing their glasses....
Click to expand...

Ahhh stop it!
We are all beautiful to God!

Remember that brother

:)
 
I rarely approach people I don't know. If I introduce myself it's because the new person is already talking with one of my friends.

So really, my post doesn't help lol
 
Interesting topic, most Christian women I know and have known over the years have no problems introducing themselves to men and initiating conversation but beyond just friendly conversation most do not feel comfortable pursuing or initiating something more romantically. Most, not all, but most Christian men I have known have told me they are uncomfortable if a woman takes the initiative and asks them out or pursues them.

So, even in those situations where a woman may not have a romantic interest in a man, but finds him interesting and would like to develop a friendship it is a difficult navigation because if they are both single, most men seem to interpret her interest as romantic. This is a frequent topic among my friends and shared experiences have left us wondering what we can do.

To the OP's question, it might be a fear of the guy mistaking their friendliness as romantic interest or if interested romantically they fear the man feeling that is not their role to pursue.

It it all seems silly when you write it out but so much can be misinterpreted some women may just not act at all.
 
Ghostwolf,

As man, it is your duty to assume that if any woman, anywhere, speaks to you, looks at you, gestures toward you, or in any minutely trivial way acknowledges your existence... she MUST want you.

So just relax, and go talk to her.


If she suddenly acts like she isn't interested...
she's either playing hard to get, or she's a lesbian.

Really, this stuff isn't complicated.
 
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maxwel said:
Ghostwolf,

As man, it is your duty to assume that if any woman, anywhere, speaks to you, looks at you, gestures toward you, or in any minutely trivial way acknowledges your existence... she MUST want you.

So just relax, and go talk to her.


If she suddenly acts like she isn't interested...
she's either playing hard to get, or she's a lesbian.

Really, this stuff isn't complicated.
Click to expand...

Maxwell!! You are such a sarcasmo!! Lol....It shouldn't be complicated but it is.

You are single, We are close in age, so your telling me if we went to the same church and I introduced myself to you and after talking for a bit I asked if you would like to go for coffee with me to talk more you wouldn't initially wonder or suspect I was interested in you as more than a friend??
 
Part of it might be that they fear you will think they are too forward.

I don't have that problem I made friends with a married couple talking to the husband first because he was like a walking encyclopedia and I have always appreciated smart people. I met his wife later and we are still friends to this day many years later. She even watched my daughter many years ago after school....my daughter is 35 now so that was many years ago. They have since moved from Florida to South Carolina but the phone still rings and we chat catching up on kids and what is the latest.....But I was friends with her husband first because I'm not afraid to talk to guys.
 
chickwithsticks said:
Maxwell!! You are such a sarcasmo!! Lol....It shouldn't be complicated but it is.

You are single, We are close in age, so your telling me if we went to the same church and I introduced myself to you and after talking for a bit I asked if you would like to go for coffee with me to talk more you wouldn't initially wonder or suspect I was interested in you as more than a friend??
Click to expand...

What do you say to the girl if you don't like coffee, though?
 
jsr1221 said:
What do you say to the girl if you don't like coffee, though?
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K7G.gif
 
chickwithsticks said:
Interesting topic, most Christian women I know and have known over the years have no problems introducing themselves to men and initiating conversation but beyond just friendly conversation most do not feel comfortable pursuing or initiating something more romantically. Most, not all, but most Christian men I have known have told me they are uncomfortable if a woman takes the initiative and asks them out or pursues them.

So, even in those situations where a woman may not have a romantic interest in a man, but finds him interesting and would like to develop a friendship it is a difficult navigation because if they are both single, most men seem to interpret her interest as romantic. This is a frequent topic among my friends and shared experiences have left us wondering what we can do.

To the OP's question, it might be a fear of the guy mistaking their friendliness as romantic interest or if interested romantically they fear the man feeling that is not their role to pursue.

It it all seems silly when you write it out but so much can be misinterpreted some women may just not act at all.
Click to expand...

This is why I've decided I am not going to date again. Too much and too easily can there be misinterpretation. So there can't be any if one purposely doesn't put in any interest.
 
jsr1221 said:
What do you say to the girl if you don't like coffee, though?
Click to expand...

You say absolutely because coffee shops offer more than coffee my friend! :p
But again JSR..would you initially think she was interested in you or would you think ...wow she wants to be my friend?
 
jsr1221 said:
Can it be both? (I really don't like coffee.)
Click to expand...
Weellll... Okay. But just this once. :p

Coffee houses, diners, whatever; typically wherever you go for coffee has other things to order (hence the meme).
 
Many people don't know how to approach someone they never talk to, unless as stated that if it's someone that a friend knows and starts to talk to while you're with the said friend. There could be many factors that come into play, and unfortunately some that aren't always pleasant.

- Your body language (image) gives you a closed out look. If you give always give a straight or angry looking face, slouch, have arms crossed, look down or make minimal eye contact with others, it gives a message that indicates you are not wanting to be bothered, therefore unapproachable.
- You may appear different in some way and that can make people become hesitant to approach. Could be different type of style in clothing, hairstyle, features that are different, etc. As shallow as that is, if it's easily identified then you will get different responses. If you can't or not willing to change any of said features, build the confidence to make yourself approachable which may have to give all the more reasons for said person to do the approaching.
- If you appear occupied or engaged in the event that's taking place, this doesn't leave you open to have people think you can strike random conversation with them. Pay attention to your surroundings more often and be open for anyone to talk.


That's all I can think of for now. These are general suggestions as to the possibility of why someone may not approach you often... I can even say it as experience, too.


Women being the first to talk to guys or not is also subjective. Certain cultures may embrace for the men to do the approaching and then the women engage once approached. In societies not so gender-strict, it could just have a lot to do with the character that the surrounding people display. In a society where we're reliant on technology to communicate, it's making it harder for people to know how to do the basics of greeting and personal interaction. If the events that you attend to are mostly for the audience to listen, this could also play a role as to why not many will take part in conversation and just want to listen to the message(s) given in sermon or whatever.
 
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