Life Is Tough!

MadParrotWoman · Oct 16, 2015

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to live the Christian life. I knew this week was going to be a tough one at work but it was worse than I had imagined. People take advantage when they know you are a Christian yet you are supposed to "turn the other cheek" and simply take what is thrown at you. I am left feeling like "I can't do this anymore". I have other stuff going on as well as this and I feel convicted - daily, really it's daily!

Is it just me or am I in the middle of a spiritual warfare battle everyone goes through at some stage. I just feel like "ugh"!

Siberian_Khatru · Oct 16, 2015

MadParrotWoman said:

It is always difficult to live it, especially when the traditions and values are static while the world progresses. My struggle, as of late, has been more with regards to tolerating it, but even when I was more invested there were always those "Ugh!" moments.

Hang in there, MPW! It's a hard knocks life, but you got this.

Blain · Oct 16, 2015

People often times will take advantage of me simply because I am to nice and giving for my own good and they know this, but at the same time I know when to say no when I can see they are purposely taking advantage of my hospitality. It's kind of the same situation of when to say no to a child, some parent's have a very hard time saying no to their children and give them whatever they want, children are not dumb they know when they have that advantage and will use it to the max and if this situation continues they become spoiled brats and then when they are actually told no by either the parents or someone else they throw a fit and start screaming and throwing things.

Now I am more than glad to give and to help ppl even when it hurts me financially but I also will not enable them, Instead of constantly giving and giving and giving until I am dry of everything I find it better for both parties to help them get back on their feet while helping them.

PeterJens · Oct 16, 2015

Turning the other cheek, is not about being a victim, it is about admitting it hurt, and asking the person why they are behaving in this way.

I lived in a shared house for a few years, and just thought people were being nice and just joking. I just ignored their jibes, I did not realise they were just being horrid. When I did not react they just took me as being stupid. So then I was the victim, but at the time I was unaware of it. So they just carried on.

So turning the other cheek is about not fighting back, but also acknowledging the pain and insult, but also showing it does not matter, it is because the other person has some personal issues unrelated to reason for interaction.

The other issue is to realise people use weak points to dominate, bully, and put people down. It is a technique but also completely useless, but used by people who do not know how to trust and motivate individuals. If the victim responds badly it can be played that the victim has the problems, and needs dealing with, rather than the manager or colleague is not coping and trying to shift stress and blame on to others.

I hope this helps.

As a side note, I had a boss who was a psycho, whose whole way of dealing with you was to wear you down. I ignored it, because it was meaningless, but he tried everything. I just had no respect for him and played the game, without letting on I knew exactly what he was doing. In the end he had annoyed and got the wrong way with everyone he resigned.

So you will always get disfunctional people who try and make things personal because they are completely out of their depth.

cmarieh · Oct 16, 2015

My life has not been as easy one especially the last eight years. I have not shared everything with any one person and have fallen apart to the point where I completely shutdown and not say one word which is not like me. All I do know is that I struggle with this every day and what helped me get through years of what seemed like constant put downs and the feeling of being taken advantage of is trusting that God knew what was best and he was going to use it to mold me into what he wanted me to be.

I would be lying if I said it didn't make me question all of who God is and what he's capable of doing, but I would come in contact with people that remind me of his purpose and will for my life and what a blessing they are as I wouldn't be the same.

Every time I feel like giving up I pray and remember what Christ experienced for us with the cross and tell myself "With God I can do this" Now, I didn't do this last weekend and let me tell you I was convicted to the point where I was ashamed and praying God would forgive me for not putting him first.

MPW: God has a purpose for you in what are experiencing and it will make your faith stronger than it ever was before. I will be praying that God will continue giving you strength to push through and remember all of God's promises in your life

PeterJens · Oct 16, 2015

cmarieh said:

This sounds like depression and running yourself down. This is not about turning the other cheek, this is disfunctional behaviour. You have some fantastic things to contribute and some real things you have achieved in your life.

What people assume is we all can take on x, unless you are weak and feeble and a waste of space. In reality we all have strengths and weaknesses, and finding our limits is part of life, and being careful not to go beyond them.

You appear to me have gone way beyond them, and not developed coping strategies as pressures increased around the time of becoming an adult, leaving home, setting a direction for your life. This is the most stressful and difficult time in anyones life, and people often discover their fragility here.

So I say from my heart, you need support and help, and where you are is not where the Lord expects you to be or experience.

James4redemption · Oct 16, 2015

It's hard. I can have a short fuse when it comes to a lot of the things people can do. I guess it's part of the process. When you can't let something go, or forget to let something go, all you can do is pray you get the strength to get it right next time.

cmarieh · Oct 16, 2015

PeterJens said:

Out of all due respect, I have not been given an easy ride in life and the last thing I need is to have someone say I am depressed when I am not. Also, you don't know me personally nor have even made a single attempt so making a judgement on what I view as my personal testimony is out of line. I'm sorry for sounding harsh but God has changed me and poured out blessings in my life. May God bless you

James4redemption · Oct 16, 2015

cmarieh said:

Sorry to hear all that. Not sure what you mean by being constantly put down, but the enemy can be really effective at using ourselves and other people to bring us down. All you can do is forgive, easier said than done at times since people can be ugly as ____, -can fill in the blank.

Now this is what I would have to do with myself a lot. Maybe it can help in forgiving others, but I've gotten myself into plenty of situations where I have to forgive myself but refuse to do so and in the extended periods of time without doing such it causes me to spread that conflict and horde my anger and would make me miserable overall. Now this may sound redundant, but for me, sometimes just putting my head down in defeat, asking for forgiveness in my failed attempt to forgive myself, then just forgiving myself after that and letting go of it all to Jesus Christ...that helps every time. But getting to that stage of surrender is the difficult part.

Anyways, all I know is when it builds up to the point you feel like giving up...that only happens when you don't let it go, which is done through forgiveness. It really is a powerful virtue. But again, I would have to do with this with myself which to me was difficult. As for forgiving other people on the drop of a hat in the heat of the moment? That's probably just as difficult to do. But forgiveness is like taking off a heavy yoke. It really is.

Blain · Oct 16, 2015

Life can be very harsh and unfair, ppl have read my testimony and have told me how strong I must and how no one should have to go through what I did how I have gone through a gruesome life and yet still found God. Ppl have been inspired by my story but the thing is even my life is nothing compared to to how bad things can really be, sure I know what pain is I know what it is like to be unloved to be seen as a loser a nobody to be used beaten drugged and made a slave but knowing how so many others have had it so worse humbles me and makes me compassionate for them.

There are ppl who have experienced pain and severe heartbreak beyond the unthinkable, ppl have become twisted and broken mentally because of how severely they were treated and all they know is pain and sadness they grew up seeing blood every day they have cuts and scars physically and mentally wounds that will never heal and they are no longer recognizable.
Which is why I do not count myself as strong or courageous or anything from my past because I know that it can always be so much worse. I heard a pastor once while preaching said that he and his family had gone through the worst life has to offer and yet overcame it, And while I don't know his past at the same time I couldn't help ut think of these children and these ppl that I just spoke and said to myself does he really think he has been through the worst life has to offer?

Only those who know pain can truly understand those who are hurting, only those who know true sadness who have been abandoned and are treated as trash can understand how rough life really can be, and sometimes those mental and emotional wounds are never healed and never really dealt with we just hide them deep within our hearts and attempt to move on. it isn't depression in a lot of cases, even I have emotional and mental wounds that only God knows of and only he understands. But sometimes I will be crying at night not because of my wounds but for others wounds, more than anything I want Jesus to mend all these ppls wounds and bandage their bruises and heal and repair their hurting hearts and souls.

In the long run we can all think we understand the ppl who are hurting and we can try to help and encourage them but I found that sometimes we aren't qualified to do so because it really takes one to know one

PeterJens · Oct 16, 2015

cmarieh said:

The definition of depression is the shutting down of emotional response. It is not being judgemental, it is not a crime, or a sin, or something negative. I have relatives who are on permanent medication for schizonphrenia, and for depression.

Almost everyone has bouts of these emotional ups and downs, I spent most of my teenage years depressed. It in the end is a coping strategy.

I am sorry you feel this is a bad thing to say. Too many people feel searching for help, opening up and letting others minister to our needs is a negative, when it is actually part of walking with Jesus.

There was one lady who I spoke to who did not know the Lord, and being honest with her husband would have just led to further disappointment, but in Jesus the opposite is true. He came to heal and set us free, for us to rest on His love for us.

So I apologize if you take this badly, but I know this territory too well. I hope you find the healing you need, and if you feel you have no issues, then Amen, but your response was one of pain and offence. This speaks more than anything I could say, but may His peace bring you the rest I know He has brought me.

James4redemption · Oct 16, 2015

Just beforehand I didn't mean any offense at you, marieh with my post. May be even speaking out of place...

But my only point was about those defining moments when one feels like giving up. It usually comes about when we're holding on to things, when we should really be taking them to the Cross. Again though, if I spoke out of place, I apologize. I just remember those defining moments vividly and the only way I personally made it out was through Jesus Christ. lol But yeah, forgive me if "I'm preaching the choir"

Blain · Oct 16, 2015

James4redemption said:

I don't think you spoke out of place you gave some very good advice. I am not saying this about cmarieh but sometimes theres not a lot you can do to help ppl who are hurting. I have met some and attempted to help them and some of these ppl are extremely sensitive and become very offended easily, they are all for words of love and encouragement but there does come a time when some constructive advice is needed and some take that as attacking because in all honesty sometimes ppl just want to be ear tickled

PeterJens · Oct 16, 2015

Blain said:

Amen. I have learnt something else. If you talk about emotion and reaching out, those with hurts often lash out to shut you up, literally. I used to get hurt by this, but now I understand. Those who lash out need help, need people to care and listen, to let them be hurt, and in their time to open up. You do though have to share, to be open, to testify that Jesus does heal, else they literally believe no-one understands the pain, the hurt, the tearing, the confusion, the whole shooting match, but they do.

We are all wounded sinners in need of healing. We need though to sometimes just share and be unashamed, and offer hope. Too long I have been silent as if the hope does not exist or their are not answers. We deny the power the Holy Spirit puts within us and the love that drove Him to the cross, that is real eternal healing. It is part of our faith and our walk.

So I rejoice in the healing he brought me, though I know it is nothing compared to some of the terrible experiences some on CC have testified to which would bring me to tears. But look what the Lord has done, and how far we have come, so let us not be ashamed of the power He is in our hearts, brothers and sisters in the Lord.

cmarieh · Oct 16, 2015

I appreciate what everyone is saying, but I don't want pity or anything. I wanted to share no matter what a person goes through God can and will use it as your testimony as he did with mine as long as you allow him to. Yes I have my emotional ups and downs but that's all they are nothing more. Can we please move forward and concentrate on the OP.

James4redemption · Oct 16, 2015

Blain said:

I hear you, everyone has their limits and yeah, it can always be worse but at the same time we all have our limits for our testimonies to His Glory. And you're soo right at some people don't want to listen. If I could go back in time, give myself some constructive advice on my lifestyle in relation to who I was becoming...to say I would not listen is just putting it politely. I wouldn't only not listen, but I would disregard and rebuke every word of it. But now, when ever I really feel the Holy Spirit, I have no choice but to get on my knees and thank God for dragging me out, it's my pleasure every friggin' time, to surrender all credit, all perfect works, all that has ever gone well in my life, to Him and His name alone. Not me, because it was never me. Thankful for His mercy.

Rudimental · Oct 16, 2015

MadParrotWoman said:

Its not just you!

I wrote recently how everyday we are facing a much much bigger spiritual battle for our very souls. More so than we, (even some of the most God fearing Christians) realize.

It's good that you feel convicted! That means the Holy Spirit is close to you. It is His spirit that convicts us both for our own sins and the sin of others so that we may pray for them. Prayer opens up doors for God to work through. Maybe those doors will be a promotion for them to work in another office, building, area, city, country. God works in mysterious ways.

As for feeling like ugh, I also can relate to this and sympathise with you.

I feel like ugh all the time! Yeh, he's a good friend of mine is ugh. Soon we will be celebrating another birthday together. 20 odd long years just me and ugh. Yeh, ugh is a good friend of mine and most people trying to live a Christian life.

Why do those that know not Christ, know no pain, sorrow, guilt or regret for their sins and transgressions? Why do the wicked prosper in their devices and the world continue to offer glittering prizes to those with stout hearts and sharp swords?

Those not in Christ, those that haven't come to accept Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour, those that have not truly come to know God and have no knowledge of what it means to live a Christian life. Those people of the world that know not God. They know no guilt or sorrow, they know no regret or shame for their actions. They feel no shame or regret for hurt caused to other people be it through their words or actions.

But we do. Because we know Jesus personally. So our sins, our transgressions, our trespasses, are obvious to us. And we know that Christ died because of them.

Yet the world does not know this. And those that deny the truth, they cannot understand it. So they act like Neanderthals almost. Like robots running around not really knowing what their real purpose or goal in life is. Not knowing that there is great reward waiting for them.

Remember, no where in the bible does it ever say that its going to be easy. Only that it would be worth it!

We must not pray to make life easier. Only for the strength to deal with it.

God bless you, will pray for you. Keep your chin up MPW, you are greatly loved!

Rudimental.

James4redemption · Oct 16, 2015

cmarieh said:

We'll move forward, but I can't help but want to stress the fact that my reply to your post wasn't necessarily meant for you, but was meant for the topic at hand. You're testimony was touching though, which is why I wanted to build off it. But again, wasn't showing pity or anything of the sort...just trying to add on to it, for the sake of the discussion.

And I'm going to shut up now.

Blain · Oct 16, 2015

cmarieh said:

We are focused on the op, we are discussing how hard life can be.

Blain · Oct 16, 2015

James4redemption said:

LOL I am the same way, If I were to have met the younger me and attempted to give him advice that I learned through much trial and error and time as I grew up the younger me wouldn't even hear me. I am not proud of who I was before I was saved it is pretty shameful even thinking about that person I was, several times I should have died in my life but even then now that I look back God was protecting me. As we get older and experience life we mature and learn and grow, sometimes it is necessary to go through hardships to be able to mature as a person and a believer

Life Is Tough!

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