Marriage Question.

[Alan1979]

Should a wife be Physically and Sexually attracted to her husband to keep the marriage alive?

My wife came to me the other day, she wanted to tell me that I was not attractive to her physically and sexually since just before we got married 2 years ago. Also there was a new guy on the police force she works at the she is attracted to, but she has not cheated on me.


She said she loves me, but said i will probably never be attractive to her and she can't change that.


I told her that's not the way that God planned our marriage to be. She said the only reason she married me is because I treated her right.


Is this right for me to stay in this marriage if i will never be attractive to her and she will never change.

 

[ray_james]

No, you do not have to be physically or sexually attracted to your spouse in order for a marriage to work.
Yes it I right for you to stay in the marriage!
Have you talked with your pastor or considered counseling? Have you sat down with your spouse and told her how you feel?
I don't know much honestly, but make sure you are walking with God on a consistent basis, seeking His will.
I am going to leave the marriage advice giving to more experienced people.. lol
A good marriage takes work, don't give up!

 

[Lily777]

No, you do not have to be physically or sexually attracted to your spouse in order for a marriage to work.
Yes it I right for you to stay in the marriage!
Have you talked with your pastor or considered counseling? Have you sat down with your spouse and told her how you feel?
I don't know much honestly, but make sure you are walking with God on a consistent basis, seeking His will.
I am going to leave the marriage advice giving to more experienced people.. lol
A good marriage takes work, don't give up!

This is great advice and/or a great start I think...

Also I wanted to mention this website called Focus on the Family (Link below on marriage and many issues though it has TONS of topics) (I refer a lot to it, it has helped me a lot in regard to issues) I hope it may help you also.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. I pray you seek the Lord first and foremost and He comforts you, and also protects and blesses your marriage, in Jesus Name. Amen.


Focus on the Family - Marriage

Marriage | Focus on the Family

 

[slave]

Alan Pm me if you want.....My name is Dan nice to meet you! I get your pain... I would love to chat about finding Gods answers in Scripture, for your specific Marriage. I am not a Marriage counselor, but I have been thru the crisis of relationships as well and God has shown me some things... Are you so hurt now, that you are not able to be pliable to God? I get it if you are, but we have to come humbly to God to see the whole picture, And more importantly to actually have affect on the relationship in a real way...think about that, if you want to talk I am available.

 

[Michi]

Hi, just read this and my heart and prayer goes out to God for your marriage.. im not a marriage counselor neither have I ever gotten married, experience teaches wisdom but also understanding the human nature and behavior can help to understand what is happening,,

Your wife was physically attracted to you she just dont remember of her feelings because of her distraction and what ever else is lacking in your marriage. She might was not attracted to you physically at first but because of your great personality and kindness she fell inlove with you. The bible says God honors marriage so that mean God honor your relationship. Your wife is caught up with this man physical appearance that she forget how a wonderful man you are to her. The devil is deceitful and that is what he is now doing to her. She is now believing a lie thinking that she is no longer attracted to you.

You have to sit and talk to her about how you feel and what you think is happening, pray with her, pray for her, the devil will do anything to destroy the people of God, be discouraged, you can do all things thru christ who strengthens you.
See what about you that you no longer does, your married but its also like a job you have to work at it, keep yourself up, stay clean,fresh, make sure you visit the dentist, avoid bad breath, just saying, not saying you dont but as a sister in christ its my duty to be here for you.. trust God it will be ok

 

[Dan58]

Should a wife be Physically and Sexually attracted to her husband to keep the marriage alive?

It certainly helps, but its not a prerequisite. Its more important to have someone that you get along great with. Love is more than skin deep. Only you can make the call. If she loves you, I'd stay put, but if her affections are directed elsewhere, I'd conclude that your wife is a superficial person who might prefer a handsome guy who treats her bad?

 

[Alan1979]

We have been through marriage counseling 3 times now, prayed about it, other people pray. I just feel like it is a dead marriage. When we first got married, she would text me when she woke up in the morning and through out the day. Now she doesn't do any of it, doesn't even tell me that she loves me. I have tried just about everything, been having bad stress, we to the Dr. yesterday and now have an infection in my colon and when I told her about it, only thing she said, well at lease it's not something bad. Like don't really even care. Yes it's Sad.

 

[Michi]

Well its much more than u explain at first, dont know what to say, dont treat her bad just ignore her and act like it dont bother u, go out and visit friends and family dont ask her to come,, just dress up and put on cologn let her think u got no interest in her and see her respond, dont act weak, be strong

 

[shotgunner]

Why is she not attracted to you? That is an important question. Anything can be fixed in a marriage if both you and her are open and honest with each other and you both want the marriage to work. If she doesn't want the marriage to work then it won't.

 

[P1LGR1M]

Should a wife be Physically and Sexually attracted to her husband to keep the marriage alive?

My wife came to me the other day, she wanted to tell me that I was not attractive to her physically and sexually since just before we got married 2 years ago. Also there was a new guy on the police force she works at the she is attracted to, but she has not cheated on me.


She said she loves me, but said i will probably never be attractive to her and she can't change that.


I told her that's not the way that God planned our marriage to be. She said the only reason she married me is because I treated her right.


Is this right for me to stay in this marriage if i will never be attractive to her and she will never change.

Are you both professing Christians?

God bless.

 

[dalconn]

Alan1979, the more of Jesus that she sees in you the more irresistible you will become if indeed she is one of His.

John 6:63

~It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

 

[atwhatcost]

We have been through marriage counseling 3 times now, prayed about it, other people pray. I just feel like it is a dead marriage. When we first got married, she would text me when she woke up in the morning and through out the day. Now she doesn't do any of it, doesn't even tell me that she loves me. I have tried just about everything, been having bad stress, we to the Dr. yesterday and now have an infection in my colon and when I told her about it, only thing she said, well at lease it's not something bad. Like don't really even care. Yes it's Sad.

My heart breaks for you. (As someone with IBS, I also empathize with the infection, too.) My advice is to not ask on here but to take this to God and be willing to put in the effort to do that.

Do word studies in the Bible about marriage, husbands and wives. Pray without ceasing as you do that. You're answer for you specifically is in God's words, not here waiting for others to give you the advice you want to hear. Not even with someone else's study of what God's word says. His answer awaits you, if you're willing to put in the effort to find it.

No matter the answer he gives, it will be a hard answer, so you're going to have to keep clinging to him to make it through this. Seek, and keep seeking. He is there for all our needs, even including your infection.

 

[notuptome]

Did you receive pre-marital counseling?

Hosea loved his wife and she was a whore. She did not love him. She was not faithful to him.

If one is going to claim to be a born again Christian then they must seek to walk the walk. Jesus will walk with you even in the most difficult of times.

Let's just to be different look at this from the perspective of not what you want but what would Jesus want?

Sorry to unload and I understand you are in pain but with all the threads on this subject it just seems like people are looking not for a solution but for an excuse.

Follow the best advice and get into counseling with a good biblical pastor who has training in the subject.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

 

[slave]

Why is she not attracted to you? That is an important question. Anything can be fixed in a marriage if both you and her are open and honest with each other and you both want the marriage to work. If she doesn't want the marriage to work then it won't.

And I agree with these facts, but I also believe in another. That God says, What God has put together let no man put asunder. If God is that much for your marriage, is He not also able to perform Miracles toward it? I say yes He is able to thru your sought after prayers to show her your love, He can change her from within too. God is in all things! Her relationship that is wrong, and can miraculously event things around her in circumstances to give her a moment to pause and reconsider.

Ultimately her will is involved too as stated, but right now the hope is anything but dead to me, thus God for thats the heart He has given me.But you need not worry about her now, worry about yourself and all you can be to be the husband she needs. Now, that won't happen in our Old Human condition. But in Christ all things are possible, and seeking Him and His face with all your strength faithfully, whether with godly counsel or not, need be placed behind Jesus' counsel first in lieu of His Word and Relationship with you ongoing thru His Spirit. There are many elements I see even now, not knowing some details. On both sides that need healing and effort to be done. God bless you my Brother, this is where rock bottom can turn to a glorious Testimony if we let God show His glory in what we are where the rubber meets the road. God bless and I am on my knees interceding as well.

 

[purpose]

The Husband Should fulfill his wife sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill the husband's needs. The wife gives auhority over her body to her husbaand, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual realation 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 .

Have some fun with Love Making. At one point there was and still could be that (Attraction).! Spice It Up!

 

[slave]

Alan1979, the more of Jesus that she sees in you the more irresistible you will become if indeed she is one of His.

John 6:63

~It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.

The "Like" button wasn't enough for this one to me: NICE! Here is the Miracle! For both hearts and souls here. Take charge of your marriage now in love for loves sake, don't let Satan have any footholds in your heart, and pray for her heart, but do not pray for her change of heart, God will be about that business this He has promised. Don't let your emotions look across at her to solve this, look always up to solve this...always up! Or all the counsel will not be enough to secure a real victory here. Do not lose hope Miracles are just dying to come off Gods hands. dalconn gave a great Scripture! To get victory, STOP TRYING! and sit in things already accomplished in Christ! Then just obey Him.

 

[slave]

Sorry for talking so much but I am moved here for you, I also want to say, Sex is one issue but only one.

You and she are on different need lists. You need, as a man ,to feel respected and appreciated all men do. And sex plays a large role in that for us. More of it can heal us in the intimacy department. But Women need to feel loved first, in order to protect your heart with what they have to offer they need to know they are number one to you, and that means you need to know them in the small things that they go thru. they don't gain the security because of sex unless they have the security of knowing you have placed them as the everything of your life..

They want it even more than we do if they feel that foundation first, smile,well sometimes... but they need to have the little things men tend to assume . We men need to see the "doing the dishes" as a "flower." The making the family financially secure we get woman need, and they do, but do we also understand how vital being involved with the kids intimately is a trigger to her attraction to her man ? The times you simply sacrifice your guy time for her to do the antique shopping, or the curtain shopping is more a potent gift to her love foundation than a a box of chocolates, she is aware that you sacrificed and that is meaningful to her knowing she is number one!

In other words, be at peace and let God let you see her world of concerns instead of your pain and right to outline her wrongs in this Tyranny of the urgent going on right now.. You are not necessarily wrong in anything you have said, allow me to pat you on the back for some right things in there, smile. But I may pat her on her back too for some things who knows...yet that rightness will not give way to an answer, from either side to your guy's relationship, in and of itself . Agape love ;only God's love, can treat her more importantly than yourself..allowing God to right and wrong the details thru both of you. It's about whether the marriage will begin to change in the direction Satan has been successfully establishing. Your godly -rights right now need to be handed over to God so He can make your marriage flourish in solving it at the core. This is a supernatural task you yourself cannot handle.Nor will great godly-counsel matter unless Jesus is the first fruit here as well, then godly counsel will help immensely.

 

[Dan58]

We have been through marriage counseling 3 times now, prayed about it, other people pray. I just feel like it is a dead marriage. When we first got married, she would text me when she woke up in the morning and through out the day. Now she doesn't do any of it, doesn't even tell me that she loves me. I have tried just about everything, been having bad stress, we to the Dr. yesterday and now have an infection in my colon and when I told her about it, only thing she said, well at lease it's not something bad. Like don't really even care. Yes it's Sad.

If she's no longer content with you, there's nothing you can do about it. A trial separation might be helpful? Whatever her discontentment is, you can't become something your not. If the stress your having is causing illness, getting away from the source would be helpful, and even a necessity. She's throwing things in your face to make you feel bad about yourself. I'd separate and tell her that you need some time to date and enjoy another woman who's attracted to you, and in the meantime, she can pursue the policeman she's attracted to. Make sure the proposition is yours, and follow through on it even if she resist the idea. jmo

 

[shotgunner]

The Husband Should fulfill his wife sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill the husband's needs. The wife gives auhority over her body to her husbaand, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual realation 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 .

Have some fun with Love Making. At one point there was and still could be that (Attraction).! Spice It Up!

I would just like to add to this that attitude is about 80% of what makes someone sexy. There is a lot more to being sexy and attractive to your wife than just your physical appearance. If she is willing to work on your relationship you need to talk about the kinds of things that turn her on, what she wants and what she would like.

Every married relationship can hit a dull place if sex just becomes another chore to be done after the kids are put to bed and before you go to sleep. I completely agree to spice things up. Think, how do I make everything new and exciting again. It might mean a vacation and some role playing. Just surprise her if she is still interested to try to make it work.

 

[Alan1979]

I have tried to spice things up, even took her on a 2 week vacation to Ireland. Still nothing. It's like she don't love me any longer. She really hasnt spoke. To me the last couple of days it's like I done even exist anymore.