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hey christian!!! thanks, and yeah, i've been a busy girl. and thanks. : ) the time has been flying by, and i don't know what has happened to the fall. i'm not ready for the holidays, either.
i'm sorry you've been struggling of late. as i've said many times, i have come to accept that those who don't wrestle with faith at some point in their live are either credulous, glib, or are dishonest about their struggle. or maybe they haven't been chafed by their faith (yet). perhaps there's another group in there, but i've wrestled with so many aspects of my faith that at times i have to laugh about where i started to get to this place.
truly, i'm the most surprised at the place i've landed. : ) it defied all my brilliant intentions and my flaky and wandering ways. but there is joy and peace in that solid foundation.
thankfully, we serve a God Who can withstand our doubts and questions. He's big enough for our failing hearts and pithy faith, and i'm especially grateful for that. in the meantime, i prayed that you would find some peace and confidence in what you're struggling with.
p.s. do you have nicknames for those who you are friendly with? i do. did you know that in my head, i call you Sn(2)? ; p
i'm sorry you've been struggling of late. as i've said many times, i have come to accept that those who don't wrestle with faith at some point in their live are either credulous, glib, or are dishonest about their struggle. or maybe they haven't been chafed by their faith (yet). perhaps there's another group in there, but i've wrestled with so many aspects of my faith that at times i have to laugh about where i started to get to this place.
truly, i'm the most surprised at the place i've landed. : ) it defied all my brilliant intentions and my flaky and wandering ways. but there is joy and peace in that solid foundation.
thankfully, we serve a God Who can withstand our doubts and questions. He's big enough for our failing hearts and pithy faith, and i'm especially grateful for that. in the meantime, i prayed that you would find some peace and confidence in what you're struggling with.
p.s. do you have nicknames for those who you are friendly with? i do. did you know that in my head, i call you Sn(2)? ; p
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The boots are back! 
i am glad that some things don't change. streams is still the place where everyone knows your proclaim. : )
p.s. in reference to your picture posted above: it's been way too long since i've paid a visit to big bear.
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Another learning moment sponsored by Eharmony:
Aparently, people like me are not ready for a relationship. We want one, but don't measure up to all the 'standards' or 'expectations' that at least in the Eharmony world, most women seem to look for. Everyone wants you to be funny, so if you're not... I suggest moving on or learning how to be.
The next expectation seems to be physical fitness, attractiveness, an active lifestyle, and some sense of calling and purpose to which your life is directed. Again, if you do not have these, move on or attain them.
The following requirement seems to be the ability to be a spiritual leader, ministry partner, philosophical wise-man, and mature, devout Christian. If you find yourself lacking here, fix it or don't bother.
After these generals, there are a slew of other desires based on that particular person and what they're looking for. It sounds really ideal, right? Sure it does! ...but let's look at things realistically for a moment, shall we?
We all sin and fall short of the glory of God, right? Like Paul, we're all trying to 'work out our own salvation' and like the disciples, we often doubt, mess it up, get it wrong, get confused, go back, etc etc... And yet, God is good, even and especially though we often are not.
So, coming back to these 'Mr. Amazing' lists people have... If you're looking for 1 in a Million, that means that of the 7 Billion people in the planet, only 7,000 people could potentially be 'the one'. Now, if the majority of people are looking for this 7K, then what does that mean for the other 6,999,993,000 of us in the world?
Just something to think about...
Aparently, people like me are not ready for a relationship. We want one, but don't measure up to all the 'standards' or 'expectations' that at least in the Eharmony world, most women seem to look for. Everyone wants you to be funny, so if you're not... I suggest moving on or learning how to be.
The next expectation seems to be physical fitness, attractiveness, an active lifestyle, and some sense of calling and purpose to which your life is directed. Again, if you do not have these, move on or attain them.
The following requirement seems to be the ability to be a spiritual leader, ministry partner, philosophical wise-man, and mature, devout Christian. If you find yourself lacking here, fix it or don't bother.
After these generals, there are a slew of other desires based on that particular person and what they're looking for. It sounds really ideal, right? Sure it does! ...but let's look at things realistically for a moment, shall we?
We all sin and fall short of the glory of God, right? Like Paul, we're all trying to 'work out our own salvation' and like the disciples, we often doubt, mess it up, get it wrong, get confused, go back, etc etc... And yet, God is good, even and especially though we often are not.
So, coming back to these 'Mr. Amazing' lists people have... If you're looking for 1 in a Million, that means that of the 7 Billion people in the planet, only 7,000 people could potentially be 'the one'. Now, if the majority of people are looking for this 7K, then what does that mean for the other 6,999,993,000 of us in the world?
Just something to think about...
I was watching the video of Adele's latest single "Hello" and it sent me into an emotional freefall. Would I regret later for decisions that I have made today, especially with regards to my past relationships? What if I realize later that the person who I was with in my past, was the right person for me? That thought just broke down a wall of emotions within me. I have walked away from a couple of dates, which looked like it could last the distance, simply because I thought I wanted more. And today, after having been through three relationships, I sometimes look back and wonder if I had done the right thing by walking away from those dates.
Anyway, here's the song, in case anyone wants to listen to it.
[video=youtube;YQHsXMglC9A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A[/video]
Anyway, here's the song, in case anyone wants to listen to it.
[video=youtube;YQHsXMglC9A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A[/video]
I have to be the bearer of bad news to my team at work at our meeting later on today. New labor laws are making our hours less flexible, which was really the only "perk" to the job.
In other news, I arranged some music for someone's audition and am also her rehearsal accompanist. She is a total diva and somewhat annoying but I love arranging music - I'm quite proud of the interlude between verses. I should really do this for a living.
In other news, I arranged some music for someone's audition and am also her rehearsal accompanist. She is a total diva and somewhat annoying but I love arranging music - I'm quite proud of the interlude between verses. I should really do this for a living.
C
I was watching the video of Adele's latest single "Hello" and it sent me into an emotional freefall. Would I regret later for decisions that I have made today, especially with regards to my past relationships? What if I realize later that the person who I was with in my past, was the right person for me? That thought just broke down a wall of emotions within me. I have walked away from a couple of dates, which looked like it could last the distance, simply because I thought I wanted more. And today, after having been through three relationships, I sometimes look back and wonder if I had done the right thing by walking away from those dates.
Anyway, here's the song, in case anyone wants to listen to it.
[video=youtube;YQHsXMglC9A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A[/video]
Anyway, here's the song, in case anyone wants to listen to it.
[video=youtube;YQHsXMglC9A]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQHsXMglC9A[/video]
I was watching the video of Adele's latest single "Hello" and it sent me into an emotional freefall. Would I regret later for decisions that I have made today, especially with regards to my past relationships? What if I realize later that the person who I was with in my past, was the right person for me? That thought just broke down a wall of emotions within me. I have walked away from a couple of dates, which looked like it could last the distance, simply because I thought I wanted more. And today, after having been through three relationships, I sometimes look back and wonder if I had done the right thing by walking away from those dates.
Anyway, here's the song, in case anyone wants to listen to it.
Anyway, here's the song, in case anyone wants to listen to it.
i get this. so much. music for me can be the ever-threatening time machine for me, in the best and worst of ways.
all i can say is that for me, my reluctant actions (and that was me, the royal princess of reluctance) have mostly been about how ill-prepared, emotionally and otherwise, for what i pressed my nose to the glass. in fact, there was a year (at least a year--might have been closer to two) where all i did is go on first (and maybe a second) dates to simply think, ehh...maybe not. and pass. rinse, repeat. no one really stood out. you can only imagine what that does to you on the quiet nights when you think you've pulled the plug on some great guy you were too foolish to see as such.
i think we as a culture are really good at romanticizing love and relationships, and really bad at the emphasis on preparation, readiness, and overall priority setting. we overplay the bio factors and we all seem to struggle with buying into the lie that happiness comes from being with someone. false. it's just not true.
today, i am inordinately grateful for what i didn't commit to, the ring i returned, and what i previously walked away from. i wasn't ready in all the important ways. i have nary a regret. i promise. : )
part of the blissful ignorance sometimes is not really knowing what we don't know--or ought to know. until we do. and then you're really thankful you didn't inflict more damage than what might have happened. but it's more than knowledge--God does incredible things that take time and cooperation.
but that's me. you might be a lot more grown up than i was. : ) hang in there, guys. : )
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T
Yay! It's not that I haven't wrestled with my faith before, I've experienced a few dark nights of the soul in my late teens and some wilderness time around then and in my mid-20s. It's just that this wilderness period seems much longer than the others. There were many other factors to contribute to why 2015 has sucked vacuum cleaners, but suffice to say, this has been a very trying time for me. I've very thankful for the support I've received here and offline. Thank you for your words and prayers. No, I don't really have nicknames for friends. I'm a bit boring in that respect. It took me a few seconds to get your Periodic Table reference (Science was never my strong point, especially Chemistry), but I got there. I like it! Thank you, dear sister. Bless you and your cotton socks, I mean, awesome boots.
