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Levichevett

Guest
#1
One of the biggest reasons why I cut is because I don't think that i would be able to stop me from killing myself otherwise. It makes me feel alive and human, like there's a reason I'm here. People say it won't make the problems go away but the problem is that my head doesn't work right and I'm always depressed, suicidal. The only way to cure that would be to die. I hate how people say they don't want me to die but they don't want me to cut either. I can do one or the other and I'm already trying so hard to stay alive for you. I don't expect people to understand this. I just want them to accept it. Who even truly wants to live anyway? When I was in hospital after trying to kill myself my stepdad told the doctor that I'm not depressed, I'm just a drama queen and I overreacted. If my pain isn't even worth being acknowledge, why would anyone else care about it? They wouldn't. And if they did they'd have to be just as dumb as I am. No one could actually ever love me that much. There is no point in living. People lie to themselves and pretend there is because otherwise they'd have to accept the fact that nothing you do means anything. The only place we're headed in life is to death. I'd rather skip the detour of pain and misery and get there the quickest way thanks.
 

eternallife7

Senior Member
May 19, 2015
659
6
0
#2
One of the biggest reasons why I cut is because I don't think that i would be able to stop me from killing myself otherwise. It makes me feel alive and human, like there's a reason I'm here. People say it won't make the problems go away but the problem is that my head doesn't work right and I'm always depressed, suicidal. The only way to cure that would be to die. I hate how people say they don't want me to die but they don't want me to cut either. I can do one or the other and I'm already trying so hard to stay alive for you. I don't expect people to understand this. I just want them to accept it. Who even truly wants to live anyway? When I was in hospital after trying to kill myself my stepdad told the doctor that I'm not depressed, I'm just a drama queen and I overreacted. If my pain isn't even worth being acknowledge, why would anyone else care about it? They wouldn't. And if they did they'd have to be just as dumb as I am. No one could actually ever love me that much. There is no point in living. People lie to themselves and pretend there is because otherwise they'd have to accept the fact that nothing you do means anything. The only place we're headed in life is to death. I'd rather skip the detour of pain and misery and get there the quickest way thanks.
Kid you are thinking way too deep and not even according to the truth. If I was 14 I be on a skateboard trying to do rail kicks or something. Life is about overcoming all the problems in the world and making sure none of them stop you from having joy.
 
Feb 7, 2015
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#3
I'm encouraged that you recognize it is but ONE of the reasons you cut. Now, begin to earnestly and honestly let yourself discover what the other reasons are.
 
Apr 14, 2011
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#4
One of the biggest reasons why I cut is because I don't think that i would be able to stop me from killing myself otherwise. It makes me feel alive and human, like there's a reason I'm here. People say it won't make the problems go away but the problem is that my head doesn't work right and I'm always depressed, suicidal. The only way to cure that would be to die. I hate how people say they don't want me to die but they don't want me to cut either. I can do one or the other and I'm already trying so hard to stay alive for you. I don't expect people to understand this. I just want them to accept it. Who even truly wants to live anyway? When I was in hospital after trying to kill myself my stepdad told the doctor that I'm not depressed, I'm just a drama queen and I overreacted. If my pain isn't even worth being acknowledge, why would anyone else care about it? They wouldn't. And if they did they'd have to be just as dumb as I am. No one could actually ever love me that much. There is no point in living. People lie to themselves and pretend there is because otherwise they'd have to accept the fact that nothing you do means anything. The only place we're headed in life is to death. I'd rather skip the detour of pain and misery and get there the quickest way thanks.
Cutting is not the answer and neither is committing suicide. Jesus is the answer and he can help you overcome cutting and overcome these suicidal thoughts. He has helped many including myself with the problems I have and he can help you too. Please do not cut yourself and please do not commit suicide. Jesus suffered a lot just as you are. He had people who did not understand him, a person who betrayed him, a person who denied Him, a person who mocked him on the cross, etc. He went through a lot of stress due to the miracles he was performing to authenticate his ministry of preaching the gospel of God to the world about how to be saved. Sadly, people just saw him as a miracle worker and not as God. To them he was their entertainment. He even a lot of times had to retreat because he was getting burnt out, that is why he would go to a lonely place to pray to God the Father. Have you written down these thoughts you have in some form of a journal? Have you trusted in Jesus as your personal Savior (Rescuer) and sovereign Lord of your life, accepted that he died on the cross for your sins, and that he rose from the dead? If you have not, today you can begin the personal relationship with Jesus through prayer and pour your heart out to him like David did. God bless.
 

Siela01

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2015
619
14
0
#5
One of the biggest reasons why I cut is because I don't think that i would be able to stop me from killing myself otherwise. It makes me feel alive and human, like there's a reason I'm here. People say it won't make the problems go away but the problem is that my head doesn't work right and I'm always depressed, suicidal. The only way to cure that would be to die. I hate how people say they don't want me to die but they don't want me to cut either. I can do one or the other and I'm already trying so hard to stay alive for you. I don't expect people to understand this. I just want them to accept it. Who even truly wants to live anyway? When I was in hospital after trying to kill myself my stepdad told the doctor that I'm not depressed, I'm just a drama queen and I overreacted. If my pain isn't even worth being acknowledge, why would anyone else care about it? They wouldn't. And if they did they'd have to be just as dumb as I am. No one could actually ever love me that much. There is no point in living. People lie to themselves and pretend there is because otherwise they'd have to accept the fact that nothing you do means anything. The only place we're headed in life is to death. I'd rather skip the detour of pain and misery and get there the quickest way thanks.
Jesus too have a reason u know live...the reason is Him want u save on Him, Him LOVE U, cutting not make u're problem be better ..I know the feeling but once u can understand Jesus want u back.. God bless
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#6
I'm encouraged that you recognize it is but ONE of the reasons you cut. Now, begin to earnestly and honestly let yourself discover what the other reasons are.
Other reasons :1. I hate the way I look 2. I disappoint my brother3. People call me names4. I don't know how to deal with my emotions5. I'm either to paranoid to trust people so I push them away or I trust too easily and then they hurt me6. I like the way it feels7. My stepdad hits me sometimes8. I find it difficult to seperate emotions9. All my relationships have ended badly because of me10. I deserve it11. Everyone else has given up on me getting better 12. I don't know if I want to get better
 

Elisabet

Senior Member
Jul 11, 2015
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#7
Other reasons :1. I hate the way I look 2. I disappoint my brother3. People call me names4. I don't know how to deal with my emotions5. I'm either to paranoid to trust people so I push them away or I trust too easily and then they hurt me6. I like the way it feels7. My stepdad hits me sometimes8. I find it difficult to seperate emotions9. All my relationships have ended badly because of me10. I deserve it11. Everyone else has given up on me getting better 12. I don't know if I want to get better
There are sooo many reasons why we cut, but there are far more reasons that we shoyld be grateful of. I know that it sounds like an 'easy to say, hard to do' thing. But i just want you to remember that you are valuable in God's eyes. Even God has sacrificed His only son to forgive your sins, so why can't you forgive yourself? God really loved you and the obvious thing is that He doesn't want you to hurt yourself. I know that sometimes it is almost impossible to stop, but please think the benefits of stopping. Instead of looking at the blood that comes out from your body, won't it be better to think about how it will feel to finally win your lifetime battle? I understand that it is really hard and i am praying for you, brother.

If you don't want to get better, it is your choice. But remember that everytime you want to get better, you just need to come to God and He will heal you, for He is waiting for you ti come back to His embrace right now.
 

Elisabet

Senior Member
Jul 11, 2015
824
26
28
#8
Kid you are thinking way too deep and not even according to the truth. If I was 14 I be on a skateboard trying to do rail kicks or something. Life is about overcoming all the problems in the world and making sure none of them stop you from having joy.
Life is about glorifying God even when your problems are like a never ending cycle. Sometimes we don't see a book by the happy ending, but by how the story and the fight of the main character can inspire us. A book doesn't have to have a happy ending to be able to inspire many people and make many people adore the writer. I think life is just the same as that.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,920
9,668
113
#9
Why live? Because God created you, he gave you life. It's not his fault your life sucks. It's not your fault either. Life is hard. Nobody gets a pass from heartache and pain and sorrow. Instead of moaning about the BAD things in your life, how about making a list of the GOOD things and give thanks for them?
 
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Funrider

Guest
#10
One of the biggest reasons why I cut is because I don't think that i would be able to stop me from killing myself otherwise. It makes me feel alive and human, like there's a reason I'm here. People say it won't make the problems go away but the problem is that my head doesn't work right and I'm always depressed, suicidal. The only way to cure that would be to die. I hate how people say they don't want me to die but they don't want me to cut either. I can do one or the other and I'm already trying so hard to stay alive for you. I don't expect people to understand this. I just want them to accept it. Who even truly wants to live anyway? When I was in hospital after trying to kill myself my stepdad told the doctor that I'm not depressed, I'm just a drama queen and I overreacted. If my pain isn't even worth being acknowledge, why would anyone else care about it? They wouldn't. And if they did they'd have to be just as dumb as I am. No one could actually ever love me that much. There is no point in living. People lie to themselves and pretend there is because otherwise they'd have to accept the fact that nothing you do means anything. The only place we're headed in life is to death. I'd rather skip the detour of pain and misery and get there the quickest way thanks.
Why are you in this dark spot?
What led you here?
What is the root?

Many of the pundits here will simply tell you "God is the answer!!!"...and yeah, he kinda is.
But where do YOU come from?

Why is this a real struggle in your life?
If we can identify the root, we can develop a treatment procedure.
 

eternallife7

Senior Member
May 19, 2015
659
6
0
#11
Life is about glorifying God even when your problems are like a never ending cycle. Sometimes we don't see a book by the happy ending, but by how the story and the fight of the main character can inspire us. A book doesn't have to have a happy ending to be able to inspire many people and make many people adore the writer. I think life is just the same as that.
Jesus said He came to give life (agape) and for us to have it more abundantly. A book is alot different than life. We are to cast are cares on the Lord and then enjoy our agape life. It is part of the will of God for our lives according to scripture.
 
Apr 20, 2014
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#12
I cant tell you from personal experience that you can overcome both cutting, and suicidal thoughts. Is it easy? No. Then again, life isn't easy. 1 Peter 5:7 says 'Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you' God does care about you. If you have faith in Him, he can being you through it all. Hebrews 11:6 says 'And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that he rewards those who seek him' Through our faith, God rewards us. Not through our works, or what we have gone through, or even are going through. A picture that has been used to help me through this is that if we focus on our vertical relationship (Us and God), the horizontal relationships (Us and everyone else) will fall into place, according to Gods will. But without the vertical relationship, the horizontal ones will never go right.

C.S Lewis says 'Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.' (Sorry I have a lot of quotes on this topic)

To end this off, I will just say, you are not to blame for everything going on in your life. And neither is God. I hope that Ive made some sense in this post, I always worry that I just ramble in these things... If you ever need to talk, message me on here. Id be more than happy to share what Ive learned through my experience.

~Kat
 
Nov 30, 2013
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#13
Other reasons :1. I hate the way I look 2. I disappoint my brother3. People call me names4. I don't know how to deal with my emotions5. I'm either to paranoid to trust people so I push them away or I trust too easily and then they hurt me6. I like the way it feels7. My stepdad hits me sometimes8. I find it difficult to seperate emotions9. All my relationships have ended badly because of me10. I deserve it11. Everyone else has given up on me getting better 12. I don't know if I want to get better



Levichevett,

You can't change your DNA concerning you looks. Satan has sooooo many people fooled about what handsome and beautiful looks like rather than accepting themselves. You can't get strength to overcome this evil of destroying yourself on your own. If I were there, I would give you a hug. You are just a baby. There is such a big world out there waiting for your positive input to help someone else going through your struggle. I know that it seems that you are the only one on the planet going through life's hurdles, but no so. Only you can decide if you want to ignore all of the negative voices around you. Who says that you have to believe what people say about you? Is it not your choice to buy in to the negative talk? So why not use the same tactics to buy into positive thoughts? No one on this planet will escape suffering..this is part of sin..God has already won the victory for abundant life. Why not believe...open the Word of God and trust in Him to fight your battles for you.

This is a beautiful promise that God has given to all of us.

For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the LORD, thoughts of good and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. You will call upon Me and pray to Me and I will listen to you, you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart, I will be found by you says the LORD. Jeremiah 29:11-14.

Why not trust Him, what do you have to lose? This takes patience and faith which are both gifts from God.

And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.


Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein. Luke 18:15-17
Lo children are a heritage from the Lord and the fruit of the womb is His reward.
Psalm 127:3

Praying for you little one. I am glad that you have come on this site..it shows that you really don't want to die but are seeking some encouragement to live and a how to overcome this demon that wants you to take your life. Suicide is not the answer..did u know that when Jesus comes that you will still have to stand before God to give an account of the life that He gave you while on earth. Did you know that God says, thou shalt not kill? This includes killing yourself.

Did you know that God has an answer for every problem that we have in His Bible? Check it out..ask us questions. You may not always like the answers that God gives..but they are for our best interest that we may have eternal life.

I look forward to hearing back from you little one. We will do all that we can to love you as best as we can that is within our power to do.

Bless you.

 
Apr 14, 2011
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#14
Other reasons :1. I hate the way I look 2. I disappoint my brother3. People call me names4. I don't know how to deal with my emotions5. I'm either to paranoid to trust people so I push them away or I trust too easily and then they hurt me6. I like the way it feels7. My stepdad hits me sometimes8. I find it difficult to seperate emotions9. All my relationships have ended badly because of me10. I deserve it11. Everyone else has given up on me getting better 12. I don't know if I want to get better
Jesus loves you as it says in John 3:16. God loves you the way you look, he created you and you are precious in his sight. Trust Jesus and don't give into the negative peer pressure of your brothers. For your emotions, give them to God, there are counselors, but there is also a female Christian who has a radio show called June Hunt, she can help you. The name of her show is Hope in the Night and you can google it and find it and call in for help. You can trust Jesus. I have had a hard time trusting people when my secrets were leaked and when I did trust it hurt, but now I am so trustworthy friends, especially Jesus who calls me His friend. Just because cutting makes you feel good, does not make it good. You can replace your cutting with doing something good, positive, etc. I am sorry that you have been abused by your stepdad. Through God he can help you to separate your emotions from reality. Your relationships did not end badly because of you. There are many reasons why some relationships are just not meant to be. Jesus has not given up on you and he will help you get better. Jesus can you give the desire from God to want to get better. Trust in Jesus, he will never let you down. God bless. :)
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#15
Y is it so difficult to live normally?
 
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kalensp

Guest
#16
Yeah that's deep, and I sort of understand how you feel. I know that life can be messed up and really suck at times, and there's no denying that. And if your stepdad is going to just call you a drama queen, then that will hurt, and he may not be the best stepdad in the world. If people at school are going to call you names, I know personally that that hurts, unfortunately people like that will be everywhere, you have to remind yourself that you have worth, because even if you do not see it all the time others will. Find some good friends, I mean you don't need to tell them everything, but find those good people out there. As for a normal life? Well what good did normal ever do to anyone? I mean if normal is just being athletic and making fun of people who aren't like you, then I'd honestly rather not be normal. And, even though I'm only 14 some pretty weird and painful stuff has happened already, but even though they sucked at the time they are part of who I am. It's a pretty poor comparision, but recently I got locked in a stairwell while having an asthma attack. Plus I'm slightly claustrophobic. But now that experience has taught me a thing or two, once I calmed down I was able to get out of the situation, and know I'm less claustrophobic. Bad stuff is gonna happen to everyone, I mean, hey right now I'm working through some messed things and thoughts in my head, but keep your sense of humour with you always. Laugh at something, it'll (probably) help, I assure you.
 
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Levichevett

Guest
#18
I'm in between wanting to tell people that I'm depressed and then when it gets to the stage where I could tell them and the backing out
 

Elisabet

Senior Member
Jul 11, 2015
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#19
I'm in between wanting to tell people that I'm depressed and then when it gets to the stage where I could tell them and the backing out
You don't have to rush yourself, brother. Just do what you're comfortable with. Of course it's better for you to tell professionals about the problem and let them help you, or at least tell someone whom you can trust. But then again it's your decision. Everytime you want to get better, you just have to trust God with all your heart and tell someone about it. (It is really difficult indeed, but trust me, it works.)

When you finally give all the burdens that have been getting into you to God, you will realize that you are stronger than what you thought previously, because God's grace strengthens you. And then you'll realize that there is a hand that will always help you to get through everything.

The decision is all yours. Praying for you.
 
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gomlbrobro

Guest
#20
Jesus loves you. This realization is essential; everyone experiences his love at different stages of life. I promise you that God has a plan for you. There is a purpose that lies beneath our past sorrows that can turn other lives around. God has a plan for everyone through his love. Read the Word and be steadfast in this promise of love.
Praying for you