Dating advice..

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Well guys I'm new to the forum here and as to Christian dating also. So a little bit about me, I'm 24, I am one semester from graduating medical school abroad in Mexico, I've been a Christian since I was 6 have read my Bible since that age and had a mother that was determined for me to learn it, I've been a worship leader for 6 years in Florida before leaving for med school. I've managed to stay single for almost ten years and that due to my schedules and goals and don't think I was in a position where I could get married and also because I hadn't met someone that met my standards. That was until a month a go when I went to play and minister at a youth camp and met a girl a year younger than me, a nurse also about to finish school, Christian of three years and had a similar childhood as mine. I didn't think much of her at first glance since I had never met her before, to me she's attractive but that has never been my criteria for dating but rather values. We started to bond during this 3 day event and when we came back from that retreat we started seeing each other almost daily for 3 weeks, she's always been really really sweet to me and her family and our pastors know we are in a "talking" phase, from dinner to picking her up from work, praying and a whole lot of talking I became convinced that I may have found the one if that even makes sense, she's a 85-90 percent of what I'm looking for in a partner (1) Christian, 2) younger than me 3) shares my pasión for medicine and my work and 4) knows the importance of working out our problems to re live divorce since we both had divorced parents and I WILL NOT go through that as a father) the natural thing to do was ask her to be my girlfriend and this is where things started going down the drain. She initially said yes and I know she loves me very much but two days later she tells me it's too soon that it's not biblical for us to jump into a relationship and we should wait and see what happens and the whole relationship took back five steps back... No fight just seems like her interest level in me dropped 40 percent one day to another. I understand love builds over time but If we both were sure we wanted a committed relationship and we're kind of already living it before I asked her to be my girlfriend, I know I'm not making an emotional desicion because I think I would've done that way back and honestly feel we can make something out of a relationship. She seems to have gotten the idea that we must pray for "something to hhappen " or for God to "show " her I'm the one for her and as much as I like praying and asking God for guidance I think there are just somethings we must decide. So should I just go along with this or confront her as to what it is she thinks it's wrong? She seems distant and I don't think I've made something to make her angry so I'm just really confused here... Any and all input is a blessing at this point
 
I'm not a woman, so i'm sure some of the ladies may have other insights i'm not capable of, but i'll share what i see.

You have done two things that have the potential to upset her. You sound like a Vulcan, bypassing feelings and emotion for logic. A woman doesn't want to be a logical choice. She wants to be desired and loved. Not compared to a check list to see what percent she matches your list of expectations.
And as a side note, one thing i have learned is many times these lists fail us. I have met people that at times went against my 'list', but later discovered the thing i didn't want was actually a good thing when i was exposed to it. So don't get caught up percentages and lists. Do you have a connection? When you're together do you make her feel special? Or an acceptable percent of approval?

The second thing is you have pretty much chosen to disregard God, which is is something that is apparently very important to her. So not only is she made to feel like an acceptable choice that matches you list well enough. The importance of God's direction for her is something you have set aside, which may have caused her to feel you don't value what is important to her. And may make her feel you are not making God a priority in your relationship.
Though i will add that her views seem a bit extreme in regards to things. It reflects a bit religious attitude. And if that's the case you have to consider if you are willing to deal with a person who may be somewhat legalistic.

Those are my thoughts. I'm sure others will have some valuable insights as well.
 
LLF said:
Well guys I'm new to the forum here and as to Christian dating also. So a little bit about me, I'm 24, I am one semester from graduating medical school abroad in Mexico, I've been a Christian since I was 6 have read my Bible since that age and had a mother that was determined for me to learn it, I've been a worship leader for 6 years in Florida before leaving for med school. I've managed to stay single for almost ten years and that due to my schedules and goals and don't think I was in a position where I could get married and also because I hadn't met someone that met my standards. That was until a month a go when I went to play and minister at a youth camp and met a girl a year younger than me, a nurse also about to finish school, Christian of three years and had a similar childhood as mine. I didn't think much of her at first glance since I had never met her before, to me she's attractive but that has never been my criteria for dating but rather values. We started to bond during this 3 day event and when we came back from that retreat we started seeing each other almost daily for 3 weeks, she's always been really really sweet to me and her family and our pastors know we are in a "talking" phase, from dinner to picking her up from work, praying and a whole lot of talking I became convinced that I may have found the one if that even makes sense, she's a 85-90 percent of what I'm looking for in a partner (1) Christian, 2) younger than me 3) shares my pasión for medicine and my work and 4) knows the importance of working out our problems to re live divorce since we both had divorced parents and I WILL NOT go through that as a father) the natural thing to do was ask her to be my girlfriend and this is where things started going down the drain. She initially said yes and I know she loves me very much but two days later she tells me it's too soon that it's not biblical for us to jump into a relationship and we should wait and see what happens and the whole relationship took back five steps back... No fight just seems like her interest level in me dropped 40 percent one day to another. I understand love builds over time but If we both were sure we wanted a committed relationship and we're kind of already living it before I asked her to be my girlfriend, I know I'm not making an emotional desicion because I think I would've done that way back and honestly feel we can make something out of a relationship. She seems to have gotten the idea that we must pray for "something to hhappen " or for God to "show " her I'm the one for her and as much as I like praying and asking God for guidance I think there are just somethings we must decide. So should I just go along with this or confront her as to what it is she thinks it's wrong? She seems distant and I don't think I've made something to make her angry so I'm just really confused here... Any and all input is a blessing at this point
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All I know is make sure you read all of 1 Corinthians 7 and don't just stop at the first 2 verses.
 
LLF said:
Well guys I'm new to the forum here and as to Christian dating also. So a little bit about me, I'm 24, I am one semester from graduating medical school abroad in Mexico, I've been a Christian since I was 6 have read my Bible since that age and had a mother that was determined for me to learn it, I've been a worship leader for 6 years in Florida before leaving for med school. I've managed to stay single for almost ten years and that due to my schedules and goals and don't think I was in a position where I could get married and also because I hadn't met someone that met my standards. That was until a month a go when I went to play and minister at a youth camp and met a girl a year younger than me, a nurse also about to finish school, Christian of three years and had a similar childhood as mine. I didn't think much of her at first glance since I had never met her before, to me she's attractive but that has never been my criteria for dating but rather values. We started to bond during this 3 day event and when we came back from that retreat we started seeing each other almost daily for 3 weeks, she's always been really really sweet to me and her family and our pastors know we are in a "talking" phase, from dinner to picking her up from work, praying and a whole lot of talking I became convinced that I may have found the one if that even makes sense, she's a 85-90 percent of what I'm looking for in a partner (1) Christian, 2) younger than me 3) shares my pasión for medicine and my work and 4) knows the importance of working out our problems to re live divorce since we both had divorced parents and I WILL NOT go through that as a father) the natural thing to do was ask her to be my girlfriend and this is where things started going down the drain. She initially said yes and I know she loves me very much but two days later she tells me it's too soon that it's not biblical for us to jump into a relationship and we should wait and see what happens and the whole relationship took back five steps back... No fight just seems like her interest level in me dropped 40 percent one day to another. I understand love builds over time but If we both were sure we wanted a committed relationship and we're kind of already living it before I asked her to be my girlfriend, I know I'm not making an emotional desicion because I think I would've done that way back and honestly feel we can make something out of a relationship. She seems to have gotten the idea that we must pray for "something to hhappen " or for God to "show " her I'm the one for her and as much as I like praying and asking God for guidance I think there are just somethings we must decide. So should I just go along with this or confront her as to what it is she thinks it's wrong? She seems distant and I don't think I've made something to make her angry so I'm just really confused here... Any and all input is a blessing at this point
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The more you pressure a person the worse the situation becomes.Its time to back off and let her take a breath. Take the pressure off and let her make up her mind.If shes asking for space,give it too her. It sounds like she's thinking things through, it seems like she is nervous about making a commitment. Pushing her and being overbearing will only push her further away. Give her time and let her come looking for you. If she walks away its better to know sooner than later she's not the one. A relationship is work,if you do it well. She may be wondering if she can make that kind of commitment at this point in her life. Just give her space and pray about it.
 
Sorry I tried to put everything in a nutshell and made everything sound very logical. We do have a good connection emotionally too mushy sometimes from both ends and I've been very honest with her from the beginning as to my views about God and that I like her, been chivalrous by opening doors, taking her flowers, taken her out to eat, taking her to work and praying in the morning, spending time with her family who I see like me and everything just seemed to click and fit in so that's why I made the desicion to ask her out. I am very iffy about commitment because I don't want to make a mistake but you can't have good fruit from.a bad tree and I've analyzed her fruits, her personality and just the way I feel and she feels when we're together and also discussed these things as couple and we're on the same page but I get the idea she's getting advice from somewhere or someone who is a little legalistic or skeptical about me and honest to God I want to do things right. I know we aren't 'bad' right now but it kind of discourages you to see such an abrupt change since I don't have a bad testimony, I'm not a flirt and an overall happy optimistic guy I just don't know how to balance the relationship again, build her interest back up because I don't want to come off as needy or that I will always be the person who has to text first to see how she's doing I think that's kind of toxic for the relationship so I'm at a crossroad where I either chose to confront her about what's going on (though she says nothing is wrong and that we need to be patient) or just play along.
 
Kaylgrl that's kind of been my approach these past two days and seems to be the wiser choice but I just really think a relationship should be based on honesty if something is wrong tell me and we'll work it out. Or you need space? I'll give you space but at least I won't feel like I've done something wrong and specially if I thought we had this base covered you know? Don't like mind games.
 
Kaylgrl that's kind of been my approach these past two days and seems to be the wiser choice but I just really think a relationship should be based on honesty if something is wrong tell me and we'll work it out. Or you need space? I'll give you space but at least I won't feel like I've done something wrong and specially if I thought we had this base covered you know? Don't like mind games.
 
LLF said:
Sorry I tried to put everything in a nutshell and made everything sound very logical. We do have a good connection emotionally too mushy sometimes from both ends and I've been very honest with her from the beginning as to my views about God and that I like her, been chivalrous by opening doors, taking her flowers, taken her out to eat, taking her to work and praying in the morning, spending time with her family who I see like me and everything just seemed to click and fit in so that's why I made the desicion to ask her out. I am very iffy about commitment because I don't want to make a mistake but you can't have good fruit from.a bad tree and I've analyzed her fruits, her personality and just the way I feel and she feels when we're together and also discussed these things as couple and we're on the same page but I get the idea she's getting advice from somewhere or someone who is a little legalistic or skeptical about me and honest to God I want to do things right. I know we aren't 'bad' right now but it kind of discourages you to see such an abrupt change since I don't have a bad testimony, I'm not a flirt and an overall happy optimistic guy I just don't know how to balance the relationship again, build her interest back up because I don't want to come off as needy or that I will always be the person who has to text first to see how she's doing I think that's kind of toxic for the relationship so I'm at a crossroad where I either chose to confront her about what's going on (though she says nothing is wrong and that we need to be patient) or just play along.
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You both seem iffy about commitment. Now that you are sharing more it seems she may feel you are both moving too fast.Women usually talk to another woman close to them that they trust. Thats good sometimes but sometimes its not good. Hopefully she is a strong enough woman to take advice and her own common sense and make a decision. But pushing in on her right now is not a good decision. Give it some time,play it cool and see if it changes. Dont let her see you sweat. If she pulls further and further away then you need to ask what is going on.But back off for a little while and see how she handles it. I think if you push her she'll only pull away more.
 
LLF said:
Sorry I tried to put everything in a nutshell and made everything sound very logical. We do have a good connection emotionally too mushy sometimes from both ends and I've been very honest with her from the beginning as to my views about God and that I like her, been chivalrous by opening doors, taking her flowers, taken her out to eat, taking her to work and praying in the morning, spending time with her family who I see like me and everything just seemed to click and fit in so that's why I made the desicion to ask her out. I am very iffy about commitment because I don't want to make a mistake but you can't have good fruit from.a bad tree and I've analyzed her fruits, her personality and just the way I feel and she feels when we're together and also discussed these things as couple and we're on the same page but I get the idea she's getting advice from somewhere or someone who is a little legalistic or skeptical about me and honest to God I want to do things right. I know we aren't 'bad' right now but it kind of discourages you to see such an abrupt change since I don't have a bad testimony, I'm not a flirt and an overall happy optimistic guy I just don't know how to balance the relationship again, build her interest back up because I don't want to come off as needy or that I will always be the person who has to text first to see how she's doing I think that's kind of toxic for the relationship so I'm at a crossroad where I either chose to confront her about what's going on (though she says nothing is wrong and that we need to be patient) or just play along.
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I can relate. Just a few weeks ago i had a girlfriend i traveled to visit. Halfway through the visit she suddenly broke up with me. 7 months in. We had talked about marriage. Had felt that God brought us together. Now when i talk to her it seems like her mind is made up, and it's not really logical. Risk is part of relationship. No matter what percentages you have, no matter what connection you feel, entering into a relationship is a risk. Getting married is a risk.
The hardest part is it will take around 6 months before you find out if you Really want to be with this person, and had more than just a passing connection. The first 6 months are the easy part.

But i think Kayla was right. Give her a chance to breathe. If you believe she's getting bad advice then pray for her, pray for the person/people giving her advice. And while you may be of the 'opinion' that we shouldn't go to God on this matter, perhaps you're in this situation because you are wrong and not hearing God trying to tell you something.
I mean you can't say 'this area of life God isn't involved, we do it ourselves' and then turn around and say 'she's the one'. Because no area of our life should we exclude God. To remove God from parts of our lives is just a way to say 'i don't want God involved and getting in my way'. It's like reading a verse in the bible and saying 'i don't like that part, so i'm going to say this part isn't true'. You can't pick and choose the parts of the bible you want to believe, and you can't pick and choose the parts of your life you want God in, and expect Him to work in your whole life.
 
I share that same feeling with you I'm not putting God aside I'm just saying I don't think he's going to send an angel during my sleep to tell me she's the one or vice versa. I do think it's a matter of time and what God reveals about each other's character and beliefs to see if we can make a marriage work. But I think just making our dating official gives her a respect social as to say she doesn't behave in the manner that she does with me with everyone else you know? Plus it's awkward to introduce her as a 'friend' when she's always hugging me and holding my hand everywhere we go...
 
LLF said:
Kaylgrl that's kind of been my approach these past two days and seems to be the wiser choice but I just really think a relationship should be based on honesty if something is wrong tell me and we'll work it out. Or you need space? I'll give you space but at least I won't feel like I've done something wrong and specially if I thought we had this base covered you know? Don't like mind games.
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I dont think,from what you are saying that she is playing mind games.I think she is asking advice and considering her decision. She is sending signals that she needs space whether she's saying it out loud or not.

Ok I wouldnt usually do this but Im going to tell you a story.This happened to me when I was dating my husband.He asked for space,it was New Years and he went out with friends and emailed me and said he need some "time". I freaked out,I admit it. I had had a guy take off on me before,a real jerk,didnt even tell me he wanted to break up,just gone. So I called and called and emailed and finally showed up at his door.We laugh about it now. Im sure he thought I was crazy, big C crazy. My attitude was like yours,if you have something to say say it! He said that he got suddenly scared. He realized he was falling in love and was thinking about marriage. I just thought we were dating and enjoying each others company.He said he needed to get his bearings and make sure I was the one. And sure enough,crazy as I am,I was the one. So that is why I am giving you the advice I am. Now I could be wrong,but from what you have shared I think thats what may be going on.
 
I agree with you 100% i do think we need breathing time and she needs to see I'm not dependent of her at this stage of the relationship. In me I know it's the right thing and its healthy the other part it's insecure about the outcome and what she's hearing or thinking because that would give me a little more ease of mind but just pray about it also helps I know God has his times but this whole figuring out women and their thinking can be exhausting sometimes haha I mean just trying to figure out if I said or did something to upset her, if someone might have made up something about me, or just trying to figure out what sign she's praying to see haha it was just to good to go that bad in such little time forces one to think things through. Thanks for your advice again really helped.
 
LLF said:
I agree with you 100% i do think we need breathing time and she needs to see I'm not dependent of her at this stage of the relationship. In me I know it's the right thing and its healthy the other part it's insecure about the outcome and what she's hearing or thinking because that would give me a little more ease of mind but just pray about it also helps I know God has his times but this whole figuring out women and their thinking can be exhausting sometimes haha I mean just trying to figure out if I said or did something to upset her, if someone might have made up something about me, or just trying to figure out what sign she's praying to see haha it was just to good to go that bad in such little time forces one to think things through. Thanks for your advice again really helped.
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Try to relax and let go. I did all that worrying and calling and making a fool of myself all because of my insecurity. Luckily my future husband understood what I had been though and gave me a pass.lol He's somewhat passive and Im a get it done type person. I want to know now. But he needed the space. And thats relationships. Give her time,relax and let go and let God. I know its so hard but I think you'll be glad you did. Keep us up to date. Blessings!
 
Maybe she just feel that everything is too quick??
She admit she loves you too.. but then when she alone/talk to others etc she think 3 weeks is a short time to know someone's personality.. so yeah, she just need time to know you better and she didnt want to make the wrong decision (while she already admit that she loves you)
she just take a step back not because she hate you or you make her upset.. its just her way to guard her heart while trying to know you're the one or not (your personality and your relationship with God).. as i said 3 weeks is a short time to know someone's personality..

But i didnt know her heart and whats on her mind so maybe i'm wrong on this too..

all you can do now is try to wait patiently and praying :)
I'll praying for you both :)
 
I am sorry to hear about your dilemma, LLF. While I accept that we should lead a life under the guidance of God, I do not think that we should wait for a sign from Him before proceeding on something. There will be times when we have to step out in faith, fully trusting Him to lead us to the right destination.

I think she is in a very confused place right now - she has feelings for you but she isn't sure whether the feelings are strong enough to commit to any kind of a long-term relationship with you. Perhaps things have happened in a blur or there has been too much of pressure upon her (family, meeting your parents, marriage, etc.). I suggest that you give her the space she needs to figure things out. This would mean that you do not initiate contact as often as before, that you do not ask her to meet you so often, etc. Keep in mind that this should not make you to grow distant or alienated from her - you have to be yourself, but let her initiate everything. If she keeps up her end of the deal, then all is well. If she doesn't and you guys drift apart, then it was not going to last anyway.
 
1) Make a lot of money. A LOT of money. The #1 cause of divorce is money. With money, a woman will never leave you or make fun of you or find you unattractive. Money = Good looking man, in a woman's perspective. This may require questioning God and whether he is qualified or capable to bless you with the necessary cash. Make sure you develop your life to attracting money, and that's how you attract the women.

2) Attitude. Be confident. Be cocky. Be bold. Dont be a chicken or a wimp. Assume an alpha attitude and be the top dog at all you do. Dont be weak. Dont let other men make you look like a chump. The bible cant help you with getting women. If a guy tries to boot you out from talking to a girl, stand up against him. I know Jesus says offer the other cheek, but he never had a girlfriend or a wife to be credible in that area. if you want her, stand against the guy and let him know you're
not going to tolerate bad behavior. Women love confidence. Women love a man who can stand his ground. The bible never tells you that. It just teaches you how to be a wimp.

3) Dress to impress. Make sure your clothing is pressed, your breath smells clean and fresh, your hair is properly groomed, you know to smile often, you check your face for any pimples or blemishes, and you walk out of your house or apartment like a million dollars. The bible never tells you this. It has NOTHING to help in the dating arena. God isn't a matchmaker...he cannot help you. Period.

4) Say hi. Open with conversation. 95% of women never respond back. They just give one word remarks. Open her up. Have small talk. Find points of relateability. Connect. When things are at their best, get her number, and call her within the next 3-48 hours to schedule the 2nd date. The bible cant help you with this. It's a matter of whether you know it or not. God isn't fair in how he blesses some men with a natural ability to attract women, and how he curses other men who cant get women. God is a useless jerk. Learn what works from the experts.

5) Qualify her. See if she meets your values. Is she kind? Considerate? Does she love family? What are her goals? Desires? How's her faith in Christ? Likely, you love Jesus, and she probably does too Try to relate on that. Again, the bible cant help you. Jesus isn't a matchmaker. But, you can take action to identify if she is the right girl. God cannot help you there, but human psychology can. Find a couple of books on it, and study what WORKS. God will not help. He never does.


Hope that answers your question. It's trial and error. DONT BOTHER PRAYING TO GOD. He never answers prayers. Period.
 
Funrider said:
1) Make a lot of money. A LOT of money. The #1 cause of divorce is money. With money, a woman will never leave you or make fun of you or find you unattractive. Money = Good looking man, in a woman's perspective. This may require questioning God and whether he is qualified or capable to bless you with the necessary cash. Make sure you develop your life to attracting money, and that's how you attract the women.

2) Attitude. Be confident. Be cocky. Be bold. Dont be a chicken or a wimp. Assume an alpha attitude and be the top dog at all you do. Dont be weak. Dont let other men make you look like a chump. The bible cant help you with getting women. If a guy tries to boot you out from talking to a girl, stand up against him. I know Jesus says offer the other cheek, but he never had a girlfriend or a wife to be credible in that area. if you want her, stand against the guy and let him know you're
not going to tolerate bad behavior. Women love confidence. Women love a man who can stand his ground. The bible never tells you that. It just teaches you how to be a wimp.

3) Dress to impress. Make sure your clothing is pressed, your breath smells clean and fresh, your hair is properly groomed, you know to smile often, you check your face for any pimples or blemishes, and you walk out of your house or apartment like a million dollars. The bible never tells you this. It has NOTHING to help in the dating arena. God isn't a matchmaker...he cannot help you. Period.

4) Say hi. Open with conversation. 95% of women never respond back. They just give one word remarks. Open her up. Have small talk. Find points of relateability. Connect. When things are at their best, get her number, and call her within the next 3-48 hours to schedule the 2nd date. The bible cant help you with this. It's a matter of whether you know it or not. God isn't fair in how he blesses some men with a natural ability to attract women, and how he curses other men who cant get women. God is a useless jerk. Learn what works from the experts.

5) Qualify her. See if she meets your values. Is she kind? Considerate? Does she love family? What are her goals? Desires? How's her faith in Christ? Likely, you love Jesus, and she probably does too Try to relate on that. Again, the bible cant help you. Jesus isn't a matchmaker. But, you can take action to identify if she is the right girl. God cannot help you there, but human psychology can. Find a couple of books on it, and study what WORKS. God will not help. He never does.


Hope that answers your question. It's trial and error. DONT BOTHER PRAYING TO GOD. He never answers prayers. Period.
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Funrider, if you like to dishonor and blame God
and also those who believe in him you should leave cc. It seems not to be the right place for you. Sorry to say.
 
Funrider said:
1) Make a lot of money. A LOT of money. The #1 cause of divorce is money. With money, a woman will never leave you or make fun of you or find you unattractive. Money = Good looking man, in a woman's perspective. This may require questioning God and whether he is qualified or capable to bless you with the necessary cash. Make sure you develop your life to attracting money, and that's how you attract the women.

2) Attitude. Be confident. Be cocky. Be bold. Dont be a chicken or a wimp. Assume an alpha attitude and be the top dog at all you do. Dont be weak. Dont let other men make you look like a chump. The bible cant help you with getting women. If a guy tries to boot you out from talking to a girl, stand up against him. I know Jesus says offer the other cheek, but he never had a girlfriend or a wife to be credible in that area. if you want her, stand against the guy and let him know you're
not going to tolerate bad behavior. Women love confidence. Women love a man who can stand his ground. The bible never tells you that. It just teaches you how to be a wimp.

3) Dress to impress. Make sure your clothing is pressed, your breath smells clean and fresh, your hair is properly groomed, you know to smile often, you check your face for any pimples or blemishes, and you walk out of your house or apartment like a million dollars. The bible never tells you this. It has NOTHING to help in the dating arena. God isn't a matchmaker...he cannot help you. Period.

4) Say hi. Open with conversation. 95% of women never respond back. They just give one word remarks. Open her up. Have small talk. Find points of relateability. Connect. When things are at their best, get her number, and call her within the next 3-48 hours to schedule the 2nd date. The bible cant help you with this. It's a matter of whether you know it or not. God isn't fair in how he blesses some men with a natural ability to attract women, and how he curses other men who cant get women. God is a useless jerk. Learn what works from the experts.

5) Qualify her. See if she meets your values. Is she kind? Considerate? Does she love family? What are her goals? Desires? How's her faith in Christ? Likely, you love Jesus, and she probably does too Try to relate on that. Again, the bible cant help you. Jesus isn't a matchmaker. But, you can take action to identify if she is the right girl. God cannot help you there, but human psychology can. Find a couple of books on it, and study what WORKS. God will not help. He never does.


Hope that answers your question. It's trial and error. DONT BOTHER PRAYING TO GOD. He never answers prayers. Period.
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Quote "With money, a woman will never leave you "

If thats true explain Hollywood. People making the most money in Hollywood are divorce lawyers and shrinks.If money solves anything, Hollywood should be full of happy couples. It isnt.


Quote " Attitude. Be confident. Be cocky. Be bold. Dont be a chicken or a wimp. Assume an alpha attitude and be the top dog at all you do. Dont be weak. Dont let other men make you look like a chump"

 Either you are really immature for your age or your stated age is false. Only a 16 yr. old girl finds cocky attractive. A woman wants a real man. My husband is a real man and I married him because of that. He doesn't have to prove himself to other men,he's kind and has manners. He always says "I just want to make you happy babe" You know what that does? It makes me want to make him happy too.

Quote " Women love a man who can stand his ground. The bible never tells you that. It just teaches you how to be a wimp."

 A real man knows when its time to stand up and time to walk away.One is a man and the other is an insecure little boy. A woman knows the difference. If you think Jesus was a wimp read where he cleared the temple with a whip. Read where he had a crown of thorns pushed onto his head.Nails in his hands and feet. Think you're manly enough to take that? Ya didnt think so. All the disciples were martyred {killed} but one. So I dont know where you're finding all these wimps in the Bible but you need to read a little further.

Quote "The bible never tells you this."

 I guess God thought he gave you enough of a brain to figure out how to dress yourself and clean yourself without needing it written in the Bible. If you need Dating for Dummies go buy the book.


Quote "God isn't a matchmaker...he cannot help you. Period."

 That may be your opinion. A lot of Christian couples beg to differ. Im married to a wonderful man today because God put him right in my path. Lots of couples have the same story.


Quote " God is a useless jerk."

 Careful there son. God can totally take his hand off your life. You may live to have to eat those words. If you dont believe in God, thats your choice, but this is a Christian forum and that kind of nonsense is going to get you banned.

Quote "Qualify her. See if she meets your values. Is she kind? Considerate? Does she love family? What are her goals? Desires? "

 The OP already has a woman he is interested in and she in him.They have things to work out to find their path,so all your advice is a moot point. And rather immature.

Quote " God will not help."

 God is not Santa Claus you seem to have confused the two.Dating in Bible times was very different than today.Plenty of books on the market are written by Christians about dating and based on Bible principles. A lot of books written specifically to young people.

Quote " DONT BOTHER PRAYING TO GOD. He never answers prayers. Period."

 I dont know what prayers havent been answered in your life. Im guessing the fame and fortune you want hasn't come your way. Im not sure. The thing is God answers prayers its just that sometimes its not what you want to hear. Sometimes its "not now" sometimes its not the right path or the right person. A lot of people ignored God and learned the hard way that God knows whats best. If God thought you were mature enough to handle fame and fortune you'd have had it by now.If God cant trust you with the little things in life how can he trust you with bigger?



 
Hi LLF, Mr. Ugly (really wish i knew his kingdom name) made a lot of valid points specially the one about the % because you must also ask yourself "if i expect THIS MUCH am i also willing to give it or go beyond?" But i do commend you for being a young man that has standards and puts God on the Top of the list. I am 24 as well and trust me 80%of the time i find 70% of the things i will like from a spouse except for #1 GOD FEARING.

However i can relate with your friend, she may be frighten and is probably looking for every excuse to keep you as a friend or push you away. When we are very serious about settling down with some1 even though the feelings may be sky high, the minute we have to face the decision of making it official is when the trust issues and the fear of being hurt creeps in.(From experience) but, if God Leads you to pursue her ( dont over think) reassure her, and SHOW HER dont just TELL HER how you feel. And do your homework! (A good chapt is 1 Corinth 7 which talks about dating,marriage etc) dont debate this with her but show her for yourself that the bible is not against dating, but it does give us guidelines..

Blessings!
 
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