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U
The answer varies by the individual. Some singles are quite content remaining single. Some insist on it. Some want marriage.
For myself i have various reasons, but one of the more recent reasons to come up in the last few years is my health. I've gone through quite a bit and don't know if it will stop anytime soon. So it is comforting to think of having someone who cares and is reliable to help me during those times of need.
This is not the only reason, since i was a child i'd wish to find someone to share my life with, the good and the bad. To help them grow, and also to learn from them so i can grow.
There are good and bad points to being single, and to being married. It really just depends on which side you focus more on. Sounds like you have more of a focus on the benefits of being single, and not a lot to gain from the benefits of marriage. Which is fine.
For myself i have various reasons, but one of the more recent reasons to come up in the last few years is my health. I've gone through quite a bit and don't know if it will stop anytime soon. So it is comforting to think of having someone who cares and is reliable to help me during those times of need.
This is not the only reason, since i was a child i'd wish to find someone to share my life with, the good and the bad. To help them grow, and also to learn from them so i can grow.
There are good and bad points to being single, and to being married. It really just depends on which side you focus more on. Sounds like you have more of a focus on the benefits of being single, and not a lot to gain from the benefits of marriage. Which is fine.
Because as people we're wired that way.
An experience that's challenged my thinking was part of my being overseas. I was working on a project that honored God, had the potential to open doors for literally millions of people to hear and understand the good news for the first time, and was something I totally believed was worth every bit of the considerable effort I put into it. But what energized me, what was more emotionally fulfilling, was being friends with this guy who was my neighbor, Christian in name but he was not the kind of guy you'd want your daughter bringing home: alcoholic, wouldn't turn down a willing woman, possible mental illness, etc. And it bothered me some at the time and still bothers me a little bit that while logically I knew the project was for more important to devote time and energy to (and I think my teammate would say that I did my due diligence), if left to the choice of what I wanted or felt like doing hanging out with him and trying to support and encourage him would win out every time. And yeah, though I can't explain it logically, that's why we keep on trying to find that one special person to connect with, because it fuels something innate and powerfully satisfying in us when we manage to connect even a little bit.
An experience that's challenged my thinking was part of my being overseas. I was working on a project that honored God, had the potential to open doors for literally millions of people to hear and understand the good news for the first time, and was something I totally believed was worth every bit of the considerable effort I put into it. But what energized me, what was more emotionally fulfilling, was being friends with this guy who was my neighbor, Christian in name but he was not the kind of guy you'd want your daughter bringing home: alcoholic, wouldn't turn down a willing woman, possible mental illness, etc. And it bothered me some at the time and still bothers me a little bit that while logically I knew the project was for more important to devote time and energy to (and I think my teammate would say that I did my due diligence), if left to the choice of what I wanted or felt like doing hanging out with him and trying to support and encourage him would win out every time. And yeah, though I can't explain it logically, that's why we keep on trying to find that one special person to connect with, because it fuels something innate and powerfully satisfying in us when we manage to connect even a little bit.
D
Because we're not meant to be alone. Jesus doesn't want us to bear His cross alone, so He gives us people we can love and care for, and who can love and care for us, to pick us up and help each other through the good times and the bad. When God brings us the right person, it can be one of the most wondrous things we can experience. But that can often take time and patience. But it is so worth it when He blesses us with our other half.
Beats me. I'm happy being single.
Now if I meet a nice lady and we hit it off together, I'll be happy with her too. But I'm not unhappy because I'm single.
I know what you mean though. Some... okay, a LOT of people I know seem curiously desperate to find a spouse, or at least a date. They seem to be afraid of being alone. Beats me why.
Now if I meet a nice lady and we hit it off together, I'll be happy with her too. But I'm not unhappy because I'm single.
I know what you mean though. Some... okay, a LOT of people I know seem curiously desperate to find a spouse, or at least a date. They seem to be afraid of being alone. Beats me why.
S
I don't think everyone has to..I know that Paul said a few times that it was better not to get married so you can spend more attention on God. Check it out in the New Testament. But, Paul does say that if a person "burns," they should get married. I am a marrying type...I love being with my husband and taking care of the house and him and the kids. However, there are ladies who enjoy their lives without being married. I think there's no rule for or against it. The Old Testament did say multiply...but then in the New Testament, it wasn't brought up much ....except saying that when a man and woman marry, they are to cleave unto each other...basically repeating the Old Testament in Genesis. Marriage itself is supposed to represent Jesus and us.
S
Deviating from the spiritual/biblical related replies here─ Studies show that being more connected with people makes us happier and improves our health, both physical and cognitive. It's fair to presume that finding a life partner would also contribute to those things.
Also: Tradition/culture. It's common in a lot of cultures to seek, settle, and subsist (and procreate).
What's on your mind, DCrawshawJr? Whatcha feeling?
Also: Tradition/culture. It's common in a lot of cultures to seek, settle, and subsist (and procreate).
What's on your mind, DCrawshawJr? Whatcha feeling?
D
Well, at first I thought I would be married because everyone else is around that age (this is, mid 20s). So, yeah SK, tradition was a big thing for me. Then, I had a few struggles with sexual purity (I won't divulge here), and I thought I Corinthians 7:9 applied to me. So I tried to find a wife, and that went over like a lead balloon. That, and learning more about how marriage was in Bible times, lead me to ask why.
Now, in response to the need for relationships, I do agree that it is not good for the man to be alone. However, at the same time, celibacy is encouraged. So, I'm not sure what's going on here, all I really know is how I feel. I don't think any believer should be without a network of other believers to help each other along the way, we are wired for that indeed. This has nothing to do with dating or marriage.
To me, the main purpose of marriage is sex. Not that it's the only reason to marry, but that you can have every other kind of relationship without a marriage, so I'm definitely not against other forms of companionship. I question romantic relationships that lead to marriage because I've heard that legal marriage is very expensive, and divorce is worse. I can't afford to add someone to my health insurance!
In response to Ugly's reply, yes, I do lean towards celibacy, mainly because I don't see a point in having to do a bunch of paperwork, spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, and go through all sorts of logistics just to enjoy the benefits of a biblical marriage. Yes, if necessary, marriage is a worthwhile investment. But seriously, to me, it seems only those with decent money can marry in this country.
Do I want to marry? Even that's up in the air. Yes, I like being around women (I know of at least one that adjusted her hair at me to show her interest). But I seriously question the modern path to marriage.
Now, in response to the need for relationships, I do agree that it is not good for the man to be alone. However, at the same time, celibacy is encouraged. So, I'm not sure what's going on here, all I really know is how I feel. I don't think any believer should be without a network of other believers to help each other along the way, we are wired for that indeed. This has nothing to do with dating or marriage.
To me, the main purpose of marriage is sex. Not that it's the only reason to marry, but that you can have every other kind of relationship without a marriage, so I'm definitely not against other forms of companionship. I question romantic relationships that lead to marriage because I've heard that legal marriage is very expensive, and divorce is worse. I can't afford to add someone to my health insurance!
In response to Ugly's reply, yes, I do lean towards celibacy, mainly because I don't see a point in having to do a bunch of paperwork, spend thousands of dollars on a wedding, and go through all sorts of logistics just to enjoy the benefits of a biblical marriage. Yes, if necessary, marriage is a worthwhile investment. But seriously, to me, it seems only those with decent money can marry in this country.
Do I want to marry? Even that's up in the air. Yes, I like being around women (I know of at least one that adjusted her hair at me to show her interest). But I seriously question the modern path to marriage.
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Im on the side of not being married. I was married. But you make numerous valid points as to why even bother with it. I noted on another thread that I can satisfy the need for social interaction by just having a good female friend to hang out with and not deal with the mess of emotions. Celibacy is fine with me. For me, the physical act is just for procreation and I had 4 kids with my ex, so I did my part in population increase. But now, I prefer to be single. Actually, I would say I prefer to be left alone. I see a spouse as an anchor. I can have a best friend without being married to them or legally and biblically sleeping with them . That simply does not need to be there.
I did decide it was unreasonably motionless around my house when I don't have my kids.. So how did I resolve that? I got a cat! She does her thing and I do mine.
And, if she starts to have issues, I just get rid of her. And with the friend thing.. If the friend becomes an issue, I just stop talking to them. It doesn't take an attorney to get rid of cat or a friend. Its just good business.
I did decide it was unreasonably motionless around my house when I don't have my kids.. So how did I resolve that? I got a cat! She does her thing and I do mine.
And, if she starts to have issues, I just get rid of her. And with the friend thing.. If the friend becomes an issue, I just stop talking to them. It doesn't take an attorney to get rid of cat or a friend. Its just good business. 