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drulenarendes

Guest
#1
#1
...and having a non Christian roommate is less than ideal. Especially when the roommate is very self-centered, selfish, and thinks only of himself. It's also very difficult living with someone who loves a life of sin while I am trying to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I have to get out of this situation somehow before it eats me alive.
 
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dalconn

Guest
#2
#2
2 Corinthians 6:14

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?


amen brother!
 
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Nuns_n_roses

Guest
#3
#3
I've actually gotten along OK with my irreligious roommates except a few snags.

But yeah, living situations can get very complicated and it makes it harder when you don't share similar morals.
 
Roh_Chris

Roh_Chris

Senior Member
#4
Jun 15, 2014
4,728
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#4
drulenarendes said:
...and having a non Christian roommate is less than ideal. Especially when the roommate is very self-centered, selfish, and thinks only of himself. It's also very difficult living with someone who loves a life of sin while I am trying to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I have to get out of this situation somehow before it eats me alive.
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I have seen many Christians also behave in a very self-centered and selfish manner. But, I can understand that there would be a conflict in the morals. I had a roommate who was a non-Christian. Thankfully he was morally sound and not selfish, so there was absolutely no problem between us.

Given a choice to choose between a Christian roommate and a non-Christian one, I think I will take the non-Christian one. I know it sounds wrong, but I guess it comes from this - With a non-Christian roommate, I will base my expectations very low, and that may not be the case with a Christian roommate.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#5
#5
drulenarendes said:
...and having a non Christian roommate is less than ideal. Especially when the roommate is very self-centered, selfish, and thinks only of himself. It's also very difficult living with someone who loves a life of sin while I am trying to focus on my relationship with Jesus. I have to get out of this situation somehow before it eats me alive.
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No offense intended here: It sounds as though you think an awful lot of yourself, too.
 
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drulenarendes

Guest
#6
#6
Roh_Chris said:
I have seen many Christians also behave in a very self-centered and selfish manner. But, I can understand that there would be a conflict in the morals. I had a roommate who was a non-Christian. Thankfully he was morally sound and not selfish, so there was absolutely no problem between us.

Given a choice to choose between a Christian roommate and a non-Christian one, I think I will take the non-Christian one. I know it sounds wrong, but I guess it comes from this - With a non-Christian roommate, I will base my expectations very low, and that may not be the case with a Christian roommate.
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I can actually see your point here. Personally, I can't have a non Christian roommate again. It just causes too many problems.

Siberian_Khatru said:
No offense intended here: It sounds as though you think an awful lot of yourself, too.
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Not really. We just fight a lot because we're going down opposite paths. It's become quite a toxic situation.
 
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Siberian_Khatru

Guest
#7
#7
drulenarendes said:
Not really. We just fight a lot because we're going down opposite paths. It's become quite a toxic situation.
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Suffering a negative dynamic is really emotionally strenuous. I have an idea of what you're dealing with, and I sincerely hope you two can hash it out peaceably and move on.
 
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drulenarendes

Guest
#8
#8
Siberian_Khatru said:
Suffering a negative dynamic is really emotionally strenuous. I have an idea of what you're dealing with, and I sincerely hope you two can hash it out peaceably and move on.
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Thank you. I do too. One less problem to deal with on a plate that's heaped with them.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#9
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
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#9
drulenarendes, you're definitely at a point in your journey where you need to be surrounded by people who will disciple you and help lift you up. I think this is absolutely vital for newer Christians. You know what you can handle and what you can't, and it's wise to pay attention to that. I am praying now that you will find a solution to this problem, and that God would bring alongside you some strong Christian friends to help encourage you.
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#10
Aug 13, 2014
27,379
9,387
113
#10
Ah, roommates.

 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#11
Aug 13, 2014
27,379
9,387
113
#11
You haven't said what, specifically, you have to put up with from your roommate (and you probably shouldn't... it ain't even our business) but I can't help thinking this is more an opportunity than a trial. I could be wrong though, depending on what said roommate is doing.
 
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drulenarendes

Guest
#12
#12
Grace-Like-Rain said:
drulenarendes, you're definitely at a point in your journey where you need to be surrounded by people who will disciple you and help lift you up. I think this is absolutely vital for newer Christians. You know what you can handle and what you can't, and it's wise to pay attention to that. I am praying now that you will find a solution to this problem, and that God would bring alongside you some strong Christian friends to help encourage you.
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Thank you. I pray for this daily. I am starved for good Christian fellowship, and it's a big reason why I'm struggling so much right now.

Lynx said:
You haven't said what, specifically, you have to put up with from your roommate (and you probably shouldn't... it ain't even our business) but I can't help thinking this is more an opportunity than a trial. I could be wrong though, depending on what said roommate is doing.
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I think God is using this situation to help teach me some patience, which I sorely need. As much as being in this situation pains me, I'm looking for the good in it as much as I can. Romans 8:28 really comes into play here for sure.
 
mochi

mochi

Senior Member
#13
May 26, 2015
923
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#13
I'm so sorry you felt this way.. yes, maybe God want to enlarge your capacity (patience and other thing)
how about play some Christian music/sermon/movie? so he will listen it too :D :D :D and pray for him to accept Jesus into his life ;) but if its too much and tempted you in many ways (make you far from God) i suggest you to move :D
I'll pray for you :)
 
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drulenarendes

Guest
#14
#14
mochi said:
I'm so sorry you felt this way.. yes, maybe God want to enlarge your capacity (patience and other thing)
how about play some Christian music/sermon/movie? so he will listen it too :D :D :D and pray for him to accept Jesus into his life ;) but if its too much and tempted you in many ways (make you far from God) i suggest you to move :D
I'll pray for you :)
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Thank you.

He watches a lot of garbage and isn't very considerate when I ask him to keep it to himself, so I was actually thinking of playing a really boisterous sermon to drown him out next time it happens. Something by Tony Evans should do the trick!
 
mochi

mochi

Senior Member
#15
May 26, 2015
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#15
drulenarendes said:
Thank you.

He watches a lot of garbage and isn't very considerate when I ask him to keep it to himself, so I was actually thinking of playing a really boisterous sermon to drown him out next time it happens. Something by Tony Evans should do the trick!
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LOL!!
I'm started to think if you can have your time alone to focus pray and read bible everyday if you have roommate like that??? but i hope you can still pray and read bible without disturbing from your roommate..

and you mention on above post that you want to have a good Christian fellowship.. have you join a local cell group in your church? :D :D :D
 
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RissaBug

Guest
#16
#16
drulenarendes said:
Thank you.

He watches a lot of garbage and isn't very considerate when I ask him to keep it to himself, so I was actually thinking of playing a really boisterous sermon to drown him out next time it happens. Something by Tony Evans should do the trick!
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As tempting as that is, you know it wouldn't help lol. Have you found fellowship in a local church? If not, I strongly encourage it. Some go to church but don't feel connected. The best solution to that is getting involved serving in some capacity. That's when you get to know the "heartbeat" people of the church and build good friendships. If you already found that, invite them over to your place. Bring the positive atmosphere into your home and invite your roommate to hang out too. You may not get him to church, but you can bring the church to him just by having guys over to hang out. I've had roommates from all walks of life. Introducing them to Christian friends in a comfortable place has always opened positive doors of communication, even if they didn't become saved.
 
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drulenarendes

Guest
#17
#17
mochi said:
LOL!!
I'm started to think if you can have your time alone to focus pray and read bible everyday if you have roommate like that??? but i hope you can still pray and read bible without disturbing from your roommate..

and you mention on above post that you want to have a good Christian fellowship.. have you join a local cell group in your church? :D :D :D
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It's hard for me some days to get the quiet time I need to spend with God. But my roommate goes out a lot so I definitely take advantage of that whenever I can.

I'm working on joining a small group at my church, but I haven't had any luck yet. I think that's probably because I'm new to the church and I'm not officially a member yet though. I'm working on that as well.

RissaBug said:
As tempting as that is, you know it wouldn't help lol. Have you found fellowship in a local church? If not, I strongly encourage it. Some go to church but don't feel connected. The best solution to that is getting involved serving in some capacity. That's when you get to know the "heartbeat" people of the church and build good friendships. If you already found that, invite them over to your place. Bring the positive atmosphere into your home and invite your roommate to hang out too. You may not get him to church, but you can bring the church to him just by having guys over to hang out. I've had roommates from all walks of life. Introducing them to Christian friends in a comfortable place has always opened positive doors of communication, even if they didn't become saved.
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I need to clean my apartment first! Who wants to volunteer?
 
mochi

mochi

Senior Member
#18
May 26, 2015
923
38
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#18
drulenarendes said:
It's hard for me some days to get the quiet time I need to spend with God. But my roommate goes out a lot so I definitely take advantage of that whenever I can.

I'm working on joining a small group at my church, but I haven't had any luck yet. I think that's probably because I'm new to the church and I'm not officially a member yet though. I'm working on that as well.

I need to clean my apartment first! Who wants to volunteer?
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I'll praying you can adapt well with everyone in your cell group soon ^^

and as for volunteering to clean your room.. ummm errrrr... i want to help... i really want to help.. but ummm errrr... ganbatte!! *running away* lol
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#19
Aug 13, 2014
27,379
9,387
113
#19
Well if your roommate won't wear earbuds, you wear them. There are earbuds that block outside noise. I prefer the JVC marshmallow earbuds myself. When he's watching his garbage, put your 'buds in, crank some tunes.

They even make earbuds with active noise canceling, although that's probably more trouble (they require a battery in the earbud line) and more expense than it would be worth. Noise blocking should be enough.

If you have no tunes to crank I can make plenty of recommendations. Just tell me what style of music you like. :cool: Or there's always spotify or pandora.
 
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