how to witness to a closed-minded husband; our marriage depends on it

[ambergood1]

I am going through some very difficult situations right now and I guess I just need some prayer and support.

I am 27 years old. Ten years ago, during a time when I had detoured away from my walk with the Lord, I met my now husband. Since I wasn't walking closely with the Lord, it wasn't a topic we talked about much or were really concerned with. After it was too late, I learned that he basically is an atheist. (He says he's not an atheist, but if you ask him if he believes in God, he'll tell you no and he refuses to step foot in a church for any reason) Well, now, for about 2 years, our relationship has been struggling severely.

I have started going through The Love Dare, the companion book to the movie Fireproof. During the Dare, I have realized that I need to renew my relationship with the Lord before I have a chance of renewing my relationship with my husband. I'm only into the first couple of days of this renewed commitment so I'm still walking very unsteadily.(pretty much "toddling like a 1-year old")

I also know that my husband is also going to have to open up his heart and come to Christ so we can be the family I know we could be. My husband is very touchy about the subject and becomes very angry and rude if anyone tries to witness to him in any way. He even avoids associating with anyone that he knows is going to bring the matter up in any way.

I feel that the Lord is calling me to bear witness to my husband, but I struggle with how to witness to him. He's the type, if you try to shove it down his throat, he will walk away and never look back at you, and I can't take that risk. We have a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter and I feel she needs us to stay a family and I do still LOVE my husband and want us to stay a family for eternity.

One challenge I face is the fear that if I start to walk close to the Lord, my husband will walk out on me. Of course, this is the last thing I want to happen.

Does anyone have any suggestions of how to witness to my husband without pushing him away?

 

[carpetmanswife]

without living in that situation myself the best advice i can give u is certainly dont "shove it down his throat" as u called it but live the christian life before him as the bible speaks of and with lots of prayer , patience, and example your husband will desire to have what you have , being a relationship with Christ . you are in my prayers Gb

 

[ambergood1]

thank you very much for your prayers

 

[lifetime]

I agree with carpetmanswife. The best way is by example. I think that in any situation where the person you want to help is pretty far from accepting Jesus that living the christian values and not just rambling on about them gives a much more effective message. It's baby steps. Try to meet him on his level and gently nudge him along by pointing out the good in everything for that's where we see the reflection of God and can help it grow. I'll pray for you too. Let's pray that God's grace and mercy will be given to you and your husband so that you two can grow together and become the shining expression of His love. Be strong, patient, pray. This may be God's calling to you and it may be a long hard road but when you do it for the Lord then no matter what happens it's worth it. Keep the faith. Always grow your own faith too and with it God will give you insights to help you along the way.

God bless

lt

 

[walkinthespirit]

GOD BLESS YOU AMBER!

I would stay heavily in prayer, and let go and let God! He is the only ONE that can change your hubby's heart!

Father put YOUR hand upon this man and convict him of the HOLY SPIRIT! Soften his heart for his wifes love for YOU, and mold him shape him, into YOUR plan for him. Hover Holy Spirit over him! We loosen all good things from heaven over this family, and yell for FIRE!!! FIRE of the LORD!!!
LORD we ask YOU to remove anything not of YOU on him, and wash him in Your blood JESUS, we claim him for the Kingdom!!! Send YOUR ministering angels to guide guard and minister to him, Release them LORD, We claim and declare YOUR word for Amber, that NO weapon formed against her shall prosper in JESUS name!put the full armor of God upon Amber and their little girl, get em God! In JEsus name we pray amen!

 

[Ashkuhn]

This is pretty much EXACTLY what I am going through except I have been with my husband for 2 years and only been married for a few months. I renewed my faith six or seven months ago and have been studying and following God's word ever since. However, the closer I get to God the further we become as a couple. We are fighting more and his beliefs are SO much different.

I have also started the Love Dare. I started 2 days ago.. Today was the second day for me. I got good results today, but not so good yesterday on the patience one. If you need to talk about this, I would be good to talk to because I am going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know how hard it is.. I wasn't very close with God when my husband and I first got together or even when we got engaged. There is so much to it that I couldn't even fit it all on here.

I totally sympathize with you though, hun. If you need anything whatsoever, let me know. I'm here for you. I'll keep you in my prayers and good luck with your husband! <3

 

[ambergood1]

Wow, Ash, I had really been feeling I was the only one going through this situation. I seems so odd. It is amazing that God had us put me and you joining this site a few days apart when we are both going through the same exact thing.

The Love Dare book is great, but I'll tell you, it gets really really challenging sometimes. I am just over halfway through right now. When you do something and they ignore or reject it, it will make you want to give up. Almost every day I hide somewhere, scream, "I give up, I quit". Luckily, every time, I have told myself, "NO , I promised to do this and I AM GOING TO DO THIS!

I will keep praying for you and you pray for me. I have added you to my friends on here. Definitely we need to keep in touch and be there for one another. through this.

We need to hook up and swap messenger id's so we can chat when we need a friend to talk to. I work from home and I'm on the computer pretty much 18 hours a day.

 

[KristINinChrist]

Amber And Ashley- its good to know I am in good company. I read your story Amber and I feel like we have the same life (aside from the kid and atheism) My hubby and I met 10 years ago as well and I was not very strong in my relationship with Christ until a year ago. Now I am in Church choir, teach Sunday school and am involved in a small group bible study every Monday night. My husband is supportive of my faith, but he does not attend church with me. He says he believes there is a god, but is not sure he believes in My God. It is really hard for me to attend church by myself, I pray for Chuck every day that God would send his Holy Spirit into his heart. I am afraid to ask him to come to church with me as I am afraid of pushing him away. He's a wonderful husband and I love him a ton, but I wish we could share the love of Christ with each other. I would love to keep in touch with both of you ladies so that we can help each other through our situation together. I ask that we each pray for each other and our husbands- the power of prayer is so amazing. We just need to ask our heavenly Father everyday- he does answer our prayers- believe that with all your heart. God allows these tough times into our lives for a reason, maybe he is wanting us to draw nearer to him and trust in him completely- not trying to do things on our own and coming to him when we realize we can't do it. Trust in HIM ladies.
God's Peace,
Kristin

 

[ambergood1]

Wow, Kristen, I'm amazed to find out that Ash and I have more company that we realized. I am glad to see you are active in your church and stuff. Right now, I am struggling with how to find a church where I feel I fit in. Most churches have a Sunday school class/bible study for young adult married couples, and one for young adult singles. Of course, I've never known of a church that has the "I'm married, but my husband doesn't believe in God so here I sit alone" class. You feel like the "odd man out" in the married class and you don't belong in the singles. And it's not that they make you feel that way, no matter how nice they are and how welcoming they all are, you still just feel weird sitting there alone.

If you have any suggestions of how I get over these "left out feelings", they would be MUCH appreciated!

Maybe we need to start some kind of group or bible study or something on here for the "I'm married to a non-believer's club"

And about your husband saying he believes there is a God he just don't know if he believes in our God. My husband's famous quote is "I don't know what to believe so I just don't believe either way" When he said that to me, it made me want to scream well ya better start believing something or you gonna wind up in Hell." Of course, I couldn't actually say that, but I sure wanted to! and I know what you mean about not wanting to be too pushy and push him away. I haven't even mentioned to my hubby that I renewed my faith a few days ago. I'm sure he noticed a bible suddenly laying on my computer desk, but I don't know if he'll realize what it meant.

Anyway, I'm starting to ramble, I do that when I'm sleepy (yawn) I am going to hit the sack and hopefully, we can get together and chat soon.

I'll be praying that the Lord reaches out to all of our husbands soon and we won't have to worry about forming that "group" anymore.

 

[BLC]

There is a group of us and I am sure others on this site as well, that are going to pray for all three of you and your situation. God is faithful and their is a promise that He will give us the petitions that we ask of Him. He is beautiful for situation (Psalm 48:2).

 

[ambergood1]

Thank you so much blc for your prayers!

 

[Pheonix]

I'm not married or anything, but have you asked him why he so adamently refused to enter a church? If you know why perhaps that can be a starting ground. However no don't shove it down his throat. just ask, and if he won't talk about it. leave it at that for a while.

 

[ambergood1]

I think part of it is that since he doesn't believe really God exists, he doesn't see the point in going to church. I also think another part of it is that when he was young, his mom was one of those people who went to church "just to see and be seen" and she drug him along for the ride and i think it ruined his perception of what church is all about.

 

[farouk]

There is no substitute for prayer and regular Bible reading, in whatever difficult situation -- or in times of personal prosperity and happiness also.

Take care.

 

[KristINinChrist]

http://www.familybuilders.net/marriage_articles/unbeliever.htm

Just read this article and it seems to be very good. I might try some of this advice as I seem to be doing some of the things in the article like getting "overly involved" in Church activities to avoid unpleasantness at home.

 

[Jiggsy]

Prayer---you can't save your husband. BUT---God can and will.

 

[imoss]

Love your husband, do not judge him. Let your light shine before him. You are not responsible for his salvation. (We always feel responsible for our husbands!) Pray for a softening of his heart and for the Lord to place the right people in his path... the Lords workers are many and there is someone out there who will be the EXACT person to lead him to the Lord. It is so hard to be alone in your faith but press on. My old neighbour is the most beautiful spirit filled Christian lady married in your exact situation for years and years and years... 24 hrs before his death (he was 73, & I hadnt seen him in 3 years) the Lord had me go in and say the sinners prayer with him. My husband & I always had a special connection with him that revolved around Harley Davidson motorcycles and Hot Rods... we never pressed him to the Lord but when the time was right the Lord placed an urgency on my heart and he sent me. Just keep praying and just keep loving... Let him see the calm in your life that is only Christ given and not see the Lord as causing turmoil in his life... Hope this helps but I cant even imagine having to deal with what you are. Oh and if he takes the Lords name in vain or does other things unbecoming a woman of faith, say a silent prayer of sorrow to the Lord say Lord please Lord forgive him for he knows not. This helps me in dealing with my many unbelieving friends & family. Let your light shine and it will be a place where they want to be for ALL deserve righteous judgement but for the Grace of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Lord richly bless both of your marriages and give you strength to press on in this difficult situation.

 

[eagleheart]

Shalom Amber
The solution to your situation is simple First and
formost,repent of being unequally yoked to an unbeliever, 2corinthians 6:14 until you do that God is not hearing your prayers. God will not bless an unscriptural marriage,and the devil will torment it.

Next ask Jesus to save your husband,give him the Holy Spirit Luke 11:03,make him the head of the home,and place the marriage in divine order.
Mark 11:22-24, Matthew 21:22 Gods Word is true
and He is true to His Word!
God has given you the measure of faith to believe Him for any promise that He makes to you.
Romans 12:3,and all the promises of God are yes and amen in Christ Jesus,2corinthians 1:20 you simply believe Jesus to save your husband,restore
your marriage to divine order,have faith in God,and He will bring it to pass for He is faithful who promised! Let your light shine brightly,so your husband will see Jesus in you,and your godly life will be a witness unto him,you dont have to say anything,unless perhaps Jesus would open the door to speak a word to him.
Have a blessed day
eagleheart

 

[Stayedatthealter]

Hello sister friend. My situation is so very similar to yours. I am also born again, spirit filled, speaking in tongues gifted and the whole nine yards. Was working fruitfully in the ministry of saving souls and working with women. I married my childhood sweetheart. i was suppose to marry someone else but I made my own decision to stay in my comfort zone. Anyway, the only difference with my story is my husband believes in God but doesn't have the most accurate view of who he really is. He knowledge he has is very limited and basically what he picked up from public opinion. He knew I was saved when we got back together but my walk was already compromised b/c we were fornicating. I felt horrible. He told me he wanted what I wanted meaning he wanted to live right, you know go to church and he wanted to find what the will of God was for his life. He said he wanted the newness of life and was tired of his. I was estatic. A dream come true, I was gonna have my childhood love and share the beauty of the Lord that I had found and enjoyed for years. Well, we moved to Va and everything changed. We got married about 3 months after we moved and I thought we would be on our way to a blesses life just as soon as I found a church. Of course I found out he was not ready for the level of church I was used too. Did I mention my now 17 yr old daughter is also born again an spirit filled which is something he never knew nothing about. I we were on a level in God he never knew exsited (1st point). Finally found a church, he went after God knows how long and was moved almost out his seat. I couldn't have been happier. What happened, I don't really know other than to say we walked into spiritual warfare and this my sister is where you are. My husband after that seemed to have made every and any excuse in the book not to go back. He did however go to a very dry spirited church that had no power only entertainment, see when you really have walked with the Lord you can tell the difference. I'm almost out of space and as you can tell I have lots to share. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, spiritual wickness in high places....... you know the scripture. Speak it out of your mouth, confess out loud when noones home but you and the kids that your husband belongs to the body of Jesus Christ who died for his salvation and deliverance and do what I read you said you would do, work on getting your walk back with the Father that you had before. The only way the Holy Spirit is gonna bring deliverance, peace, healing, liberty and a hunger and thirst after righteouness is threw you. Not you preaching to him, no, just let the Lord have his way with you and the residue of that will dispell the unrighteousness in your home. Stay encouraged. Keep reaching out, stay focus and get back to your first love to save your second love, Amen?
Mal 3:3 "He sit's as a refiner and purifier of silver" do a study on how silver is refined. I believe it will bless you. Remember we are the silver.

 

[imoss]

God hears your prayers.