I'm a 17yo guy and have an intense urge to make a family 0_o

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
O

oopsies

Guest
#41
#41
navyairwarrior said:
I honestly think you need a reality check buddy. Have you ever had to watch a baby for more than a few hours? Maybe a week? You have no idea what you want to get yourself into. Not to mention that you will not be able to afford it unless parents are financially involved. I have a 10 month old girl. I get to wake up at around 5:30 am everyday. That includes weekends and holidays. Just a quick list of expenses.

Daycare (because you will have to work,or go to school) normally about 140 a WEEK!! not a month, a week.
Diapers cost about 15$ for a pack of 60. You will go through these very early with a newborn.
Baby Formula/Food is about 24$ for a can of it, it may last about a week.
Plus all the required items like car seat, crib, toys, cloths etc..

Plus the fact that you will be tied down for the next 18 years and you do not get much time to yourself. You will not be able to see the world and experience life. Seriously, just watch a new born for a few days if you can. You will change you mind pretty quick.

Not to mention that you will also have a wife, which can be fun, but also takes away from that personal time.
Click to expand...
navyairwarrior said:
All of you kids need to realize that playing with kids all day, and being responsible for their livelyhood are very different things. You are nothing but kids, take some time to grow up yourself and experience the world. There is so much to see and do other than be tied down with the responsibilities of parenthood.
Click to expand...
I grew up with younger brothers and the age difference is quite large. So I am very aware of the difficulties in child-rearing including the yellow-brown wet goo that doesn't ever seem to want to solidify and the lost time to do anything else because of the said child.

Think of the victims of Haiti. It is one thing to be caught up in the hype. Everyone was donating, so I donated a bit too but I honestly can say that I didn't feel anything even after the donation. It wasn't until after seeing the videos, photos, and reading some stories did I start to feel empathy for those people. After realizing how they felt, that was when I really donated from my heart.

You may not understand it or perhaps you do but to truly love someone, it is often necessary for that love to be facilitated beforehand by sympathy or empathy - for that to happen, you must see or know what the person is going through. These so-called immature kids as you liken them to, at the very least empathize (and some of them can even sympathize) with children who do not have what they got. I say kudos to them for recognizing that and shame on you for trying to take it away from them.
 
O

oopsies

Guest
#42
#42
oopsies said:
I grew up with younger brothers and the age difference is quite large. So I am very aware of the difficulties in child-rearing including the yellow-brown wet goo that doesn't ever seem to want to solidify and the lost time to do anything else because of the said child.

Think of the victims of Haiti. It is one thing to be caught up in the hype. Everyone was donating, so I donated a bit too but I honestly can say that I didn't feel anything even after the donation. It wasn't until after seeing the videos, photos, and reading some stories did I start to feel empathy for those people. After realizing how they felt, that was when I really donated from my heart.

You may not understand it or perhaps you do but to truly love someone, it is often necessary for that love to be facilitated beforehand by sympathy or empathy - for that to happen, you must see or know what the person is going through. These so-called immature kids as you liken them to, at the very least empathize (and some of them can even sympathize) with children who do not have what they got. I say kudos to them for recognizing that and shame on you for trying to take it away from them.
Click to expand...
Oops, scrap this post. I thought this was the adoption thread. Sorry, navy!
 
S

squidmike

Banned
#43
Jan 13, 2010
98
0
0
#43
Why the rush? You don't have a mortgage to pay the only one that your responsible for is you.you dont need to be in a hurry to get married or even have a girlfriend. But if you do ask yourself"how much effort am i putting into this relationship?" remember that you have to examine who you are as well because if you get married yhou are responsible for your wife as well, and you have to put her ahead of all others ,that includes your parents and the rest of your family .that means if you're married it means that it's God first then your wife you will have to put your wife first. That means you don't have any other friends your wife is your best friend and your only friend.
 
S

squidmike

Banned
#44
Jan 13, 2010
98
0
0
#44
Do you know that you're talking to a 17 year old? Use smaller words ok?
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#45
#45
squidmike said:
Do you know that you're talking to a 17 year old? Use smaller words ok?
Click to expand...
I may be only 17, but I'm pretty smart. I try to stay away from the details of it, but big words normally don't bother me. If I come across a word that I have NO clue what it mans, I'll just look it up... I'm on the internet, ya know =P

Also, I'm not in a big rush. I don't have a mortgage, but w/e. I'm not quite responsible for myself yet, but I will be in a year. I'll have no problem putting my wife above all others, since I've never seen much of a point in insanely-strong family bonds lol. I recognize the responsibilities, but I want it anyway. No rush, but it still seems nice =)
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#46
#46
navyairwarrior said:
All of you kids need to realize that playing with kids all day, and being responsible for their livelyhood are very different things. You are nothing but kids, take some time to grow up yourself and experience the world. There is so much to see and do other than be tied down with the responsibilities of parenthood.
Click to expand...
I realize this. I've never had much of a desire to "see the world," even though my girlfriend happens to be prone to travel =P I plan on letting her have a few years to go see what she likes and stuff lol. Anyway, I know how expenses are, and how scheduling works. I know how to make time for things, it's no big deal to me and has never been a problem before =P

I think you're probably just overstressing the situation to make it sound dramatic. I wouldn't have to pay for daycare if parents were involved. The "necessities" would likely be given by family friends (both our families have good connections). The weekly expenses, what added up to what, ~$100/week + whatever else you left out... Honestly isn't all that bad. At a minimum wage $7/hour job, that's only ~15 hours for $100, and if I could work in 50-60 hours a week, that's up to $400/week, or $1600/mo. If the parents were actively involved in helping care for the child, then my wife could also work, though I'd wanna be less demanding on her and not push her past 40/week (though she could if she wanted). That's ~$700/week for both of us, ~2800/mo.

Yeah, it'd be difficult, but definitely possible. Of course, like I've said a billion times in this thread, I'm definitely waiting until I get my degree and can get a relatively well-paying job fairly easily =)
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#47
May 5, 2009
2,569
21
38
#47
Vidy said:
I think you're probably just overstressing the situation to make it sound dramatic. I wouldn't have to pay for daycare if parents were involved. The "necessities" would likely be given by family friends (both our families have good connections). The weekly expenses, what added up to what, ~$100/week + whatever else you left out... Honestly isn't all that bad. At a minimum wage $7/hour job, that's only ~15 hours for $100, and if I could work in 50-60 hours a week, that's up to $400/week, or $1600/mo. If the parents were actively involved in helping care for the child, then my wife could also work, though I'd wanna be less demanding on her and not push her past 40/week (though she could if she wanted). That's ~$700/week for both of us, ~2800/mo.
Click to expand...
far out dude

you've already done the maths!

you sound heaps keen - good for you!

nothin wrong with getting the ball rolling early.

it increases your chances of seeing your 4th/5th generation descendants, which would be pretty cool.
 
I

in_his_eyes

Guest
#48
#48
Not wierd at all. When I was 17 which was about 14yr ago ha ha, I felt that very way.. I fact is you need to pray for God's will to be done, and the wisdom to know what to do. Pray daily, pray often, and pray for God to be with your every step, and thought. God before US.
 
N

navyairwarrior

Guest
#49
#49
Vidy said:
I realize this. I've never had much of a desire to "see the world," even though my girlfriend happens to be prone to travel =P I plan on letting her have a few years to go see what she likes and stuff lol. Anyway, I know how expenses are, and how scheduling works. I know how to make time for things, it's no big deal to me and has never been a problem before =P

I think you're probably just overstressing the situation to make it sound dramatic. I wouldn't have to pay for daycare if parents were involved. The "necessities" would likely be given by family friends (both our families have good connections). The weekly expenses, what added up to what, ~$100/week + whatever else you left out... Honestly isn't all that bad. At a minimum wage $7/hour job, that's only ~15 hours for $100, and if I could work in 50-60 hours a week, that's up to $400/week, or $1600/mo. If the parents were actively involved in helping care for the child, then my wife could also work, though I'd wanna be less demanding on her and not push her past 40/week (though she could if she wanted). That's ~$700/week for both of us, ~2800/mo.

Yeah, it'd be difficult, but definitely possible. Of course, like I've said a billion times in this thread, I'm definitely waiting until I get my degree and can get a relatively well-paying job fairly easily =)
Click to expand...
Sure, your plan will work if you plan on mouching off your parents. You should def wait until you can take care of a family on your own and not be dependent on others.
And I am will to bet some money that your if your girlfriend actually gets out and travels for a few years she is not going to come back and settle down. Traveling is an addiction. That is why I am getting back in the military.

Anyways, I will say no more, sounds like you got it figured out.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.