Virginity is the big issue.

[ndimu]

Hello guys i am single and i want to please God for the rest of my life.you know i have been asking myself suppose i abstain from sex till i marry which is what God really want us to be, Do you think i will get an equal. what is your view on virginity and taking into account the modern lifestyle which is so much eroded will we survive especially as Christian youths.

 

[Derek]

You know I had a thought the other day....Jesus said if we lust after someone that is the same as commiting adultry as far as the Lord is concerned, right? Well if a virgin who is saving themself for marriage ends up lusting after someone...does that make them unpure?

 

[Derek]

As far as your question goes....I was surprised at the amount of people I meant that are virgins or had saved themselves for marriage after I was saved. Before knowing a christian lifestyle, I thought for sure everyone had sex! Lol! You certainly can find an equal but I wouldnt consentrate on a quality like that, Id say its more of a love for God that a person should seek in a partner. (Which abstetance will come from a deep love for God)

You said that you want to please God for the rest of your life? Well the bible says that we please God with faith. Keeping the laws is good, but that is not how God is pleased and not why He gave the law.

Hello guys i am single and i want to please God for the rest of my life.you know i have been asking myself suppose i abstain from sex till i marry which is what God really want us to be, Do you think i will get an equal. what is your view on virginity and taking into account the modern lifestyle which is so much eroded will we survive especially as Christian youths.

 

[supernova1976]

Great response Derek.

 

[Slepsog4]

The real issue is NOT virginity. The real issue is purity. If one keeps his mind, will, and emotions pure then keeping the body pure will follow. Where there is purity in a single person there is virginity. Where there is purity in a married person there is fidelity.

"Treat..., younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." (1 Timothy 5:1b, 2b)

Do not treat a lady physically like a wife until she is your wife.

Stay away from questionable movies, books, magazines, etc. that can incite lust.

 

[Godsrocker]

virginity is not just if u have had sex (intercourse) its what u think as well if ur doing everything but intercourse well i believe it is inpure so that means everyone is inpure really thats why we need God to help us. In the world today sex is teated like its nothing and teach's that having sex is ok out of marriage (male and female) so then sex becomes meaning less the world teaches that "If it feels good do it " i believe it is possable to remain pure but only with Gods help!!!! in the world its hard to do what is right in Gods sight but remember God blesses those who obey him

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

1) Hebrews 13:4.
2) Ask God to help you to remain pure. 1 Cor 10:13
3) Pray(intercede) on your wife's behalf in this area. Ephesians 6:18 mentions prayer as part of the armor of God. Intercession for the saints is also mentioned in that verse.
4) John 15:7

TLW!

chris a

Hello guys i am single and i want to please God for the rest of my life.you know i have been asking myself suppose i abstain from sex till i marry which is what God really want us to be, Do you think i will get an equal. what is your view on virginity and taking into account the modern lifestyle which is so much eroded will we survive especially as Christian youths.

 

[pinkcandy]

derek God will do it 4 ya good man well done

 

[MahogonySnail]

Jesus said if we lust after someone that is the same as commiting adultry as far as the Lord is concerned, right?

I believe Jesus was referring to lusting after another if you are already married or they are married, not lust in general.

Well if a virgin who is saving themself for marriage ends up lusting after someone...does that make them unpure?

I don't believe so. Having lustful thoughts is by no means a loss of virginity. Loss of virginity only ever refers to the physical act. The reality is every single person male and female has lusted after someone in one way or another. This is a temptation, but this does not mean they are no longer a virgin or impure.

 

[xspinningisfun]

When I wasn't following God, I did things with my ex boyfriend. No we didn't have sex. But we did other things. I've been thinking about this for the past few days, "What if my future husband won't forgive me?" And that thought scares me.

Just because you're abstaining from sex, doesn't mean that the things that you do aren't pure. If you're making out (sorry if that's a bit too much but I need an example), God views it the same as sex. You are doing impure things. The only person who should touch your body and whatnot should be your husband.

I regret everything that I've done. I hate myself because of the things that I have done. God has forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself. And my worst fear is, my future husband won't forgive me. And it hurts...a lot. I think it's awesome that you want to remain pure. But just remember, if you're doing other things sexual instead of sex, it's STILL IMPURE!

Just keep clinging to God! He will reward you :]

 

[Baptistrw]

When I wasn't following God, I did things with my ex boyfriend. No we didn't have sex. But we did other things. I've been thinking about this for the past few days, "What if my future husband won't forgive me?" And that thought scares me.

Just because you're abstaining from sex, doesn't mean that the things that you do aren't pure. If you're making out (sorry if that's a bit too much but I need an example), God views it the same as sex. You are doing impure things. The only person who should touch your body and whatnot should be your husband.

I regret everything that I've done. I hate myself because of the things that I have done. God has forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself. And my worst fear is, my future husband won't forgive me. And it hurts...a lot. I think it's awesome that you want to remain pure. But just remember, if you're doing other things sexual instead of sex, it's STILL IMPURE!

Just keep clinging to God! He will reward you :]

Agreed... a couples first kiss should be on the alter.

 

[KingDavid]

1 Corinthians 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion

I am a single guy and have been for about as long as ive been saved and I too have struggled with staying absenant. I do think we as followers of christ should strive to be absenant. I also know what temptation is and any man or woman that says they do not have that temptaion anymore I just think are walking around with their eyes closed. But I do think you can handle that in a couple different ways, you can either act like a fool and allow satan to put all kinds of thoughts there or you can push that thought out of your head and praise God for delivering you from that temptation. Even Paul aknowledged that temptation was there and if you or we cannot control that passion then we should get married. If you are married and cant control that temptation then I would say that you need to get some things right in you marriage and with the Lord.

1 Corinthians 7:3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command

 

[xspinningisfun]

The only person who should touch your body and whatnot should be your husband.

^I also mean that for guys as well. You should only save your body for your future wife! I forgot to mention guys in there too. Sorry!

 

[Ashkuhn]

I will be honest.. I wasn't a virgin when I got married because I didn't have the relationship with God I have now. I'm not proud of it at all and I really wish I had been. Neither was my husband. I think it was very hard on our relationship at first. There is a reason why God warns against premarital sex.. It comes with a lot of heartache when you do meet the one you want to be with forever. I am proud of you for making that commitment. Pray to God and He will send the right girl your way.

 

[killaklown0789]

I will be honest I agree with xspinningisfun, the things I did with my ex gf were definitely unpure. I went all the way with her. I regret it now. I cant stop hating myself for it. I mean what if my future wife hates me for what I've done.

 

[grace]

We are covered by Grace. Thank goodness we have that mercy from God. That does not give us a *permit* to just go out and do whatever......but we are forgiven if we ask and repent and no longer continue in that sin.
For those of you that are concerned about what your future spouse may think......we are to be Christ-like. That includes forgiveness, and understanding.
I truly hope that can forgive yourselves too for those past sins and continue in strength (through Christ) as you enter into other relationships where there will no doubt be temptation.
God bless.

 

[Ancilla]

Hello guys i am single and i want to please God for the rest of my life.you know i have been asking myself suppose i abstain from sex till i marry which is what God really want us to be, Do you think i will get an equal. what is your view on virginity and taking into account the modern lifestyle which is so much eroded will we survive especially as Christian youths.

I'm going to be honest. I have two BIG problems with what you said. Obviously Christians believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. But I'm confused about you asking if God will send you a virgin to marry in return. I don't know if God will send you a virgin. I don't even know if you'll ever get married. And I don't mean you in particular, I mean I don't know you. I mean, I don't know (nor does anyone else) God's plan for anyone let alone someone on the Internet I've never met. If your question was "I believe Jesus died for my sins and He's Lord of my life, does that mean I'm going to Heaven?" Then the answer is definitely yes, but that's one of the few guarantees in life. But we don't obey God to get earthly blessings in return. If, we did, we'd be in it for the wrong reasons. I mean obviously one can't assume that they can sleep around and still expect to receive God's blessing in return. I want my future husband to wait for me, so it only makes sense that I'm waiting for him. But, I need to be open to the idea that he may have made a mistake. I have to be open to the idea that maybe didn't meet Jesus until he was 23 and had lost his virginity 8 years earlier (and if that's the case I REALLY hope he doesn't have genital herpes). Furthermore, I've known Christian virgins who got hooked on pornography when they were teenagers. While you can't get an STD looking at porn, it's at least as damaging to one's purity. I used to say that not only did I want to marry a guy who's a virgin, I wanted to marry a guy who's never looked at porn. While I'd still like that, I don't think that's as realistic as I once did. But really, I shouldn't dictate what kinds of sins I don't want in my future husband's past. All that matters is that he's repented (unless it's hitting a woman. I could never marry a guy who's hit a woman.) My former pastor had some pretty serious sins in his past before he knew Jesus. I don't know about virginity, but for what do know of what he's told us of his past I think he's lucky he's never been tried for war crimes. Yet, somehow his wife managed to look past his past and see who God's changed him into. And as far as I know, they're very happy together.

Seconldy, I know that not everyone who wants to get married will. I know the Bible says "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added onto you." We want to dictate what "these things" are. We want them to be things of this world. Now, obviously wanting to be happily married to a godly person is a great thing to want, and I believe it's a blessing God wants us to have. But I also know that there are no guarantees. Sometimes following God means giving up what looks good to the world. The New Testament definitely doesn't deny that some people may have to choose between God and marriage.

Third, read Hosea. God says to Hosea in 1:2 "Go and take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness." Now I believe that God told him to do that because he wanted to make Hosea and Gomer an analogy of God's love and forgiveness for unfaithful Israel and not because he wants men to marry prostitutes. But it does show that God doesn't always give virgins other virgins to marry.

 

[Ancilla]

When I wasn't following God, I did things with my ex boyfriend. No we didn't have sex. But we did other things. I've been thinking about this for the past few days, "What if my future husband won't forgive me?" And that thought scares me.

I think what you should be worried about is if your future husband abstain from such things because he wanted to keep himself pure for you and he finds out what you did he's really disappointed. That's what I worry about. But, if he won't forgive you, you won't marry him. It's just that simple. Marriage is not for people who can't forgive.

 

[Ancilla]

I believe Jesus was referring to lusting after another if you are already married or they are married, not lust in general.

Well how many people in that crowed that Jesus was talking to do you think were unmarried, other than children and eunuchs (if there were any eunuchs, probably not)? In Jewish society you didn't stay unmarried after puberty for very long. Puberty came later back then, and marriage came a heck of a lot earlier. There was no searching for the right person. The right person was whoever your parents told you you were betrothed to. I think guys got married after their apprenticeship, and girls got married once they could have children. While I somehow think that lusting after someone when your married is worse than when you're single, lust at all times is wrong.

I don't believe so. Having lustful thoughts is by no means a loss of virginity. Loss of virginity only ever refers to the physical act. The reality is every single person male and female has lusted after someone in one way or another. This is a temptation, but this does not mean they are no longer a virgin or impure.

Well, biologically speaking that's true. You can't your virginity by lusting. But we're not talking about biology we're talking about purity. Lust makes you impure. That's what purity (in this context anyway, we're not talking about Ivory Soap) is, a lack of lust. This is why purity matters more than virginity. That's what we all strive for. I remember something a friend said after she read I Kissed Dating Goodbye. She said that purity is not staying on one side of a line that you don't cross. It's like "as long as we don't have sex, we're pure" or "as long as we don't take off our clothes, we're pure." Purity is a direction you're heading in. It's something you're striving for. It's also something you can't have without the blood of Jesus.

 

[Derek]

Sexual purity has been the BIG struggle in my walk with God, I guess because I spent the first 26 years of my life thinking that nothing is wrong with all that stuff. And I say "all that stuff" because sexual purity involves a lot, not just having intercoarse, and not just almost having intercoarse...you catch my drift? What it came down to for me is that I had to make a personal commitment to God, like our own little covenant. Basically I stay pure and He helps me....but thats just a basic idea. You see, through many trials and errors I came to find out this was the only way I would accept sexual purity in my life. When I was first saved, I kinda just put the idea of sexual purity aside for the time being, I was just happy to be fellowshiping with God. Then the time came where I had to make some decisions. I looked to the law and said, "this is how I need to live my life", but looking to the law doesn't work......I failed. Then I would look to my own strength.....and I failed. Then I would try to keep sexually pure just because I wanted to be a righteous man for God, but God is the one who makes us righteous not ourselfs.....and I failed. It came to a point where I had to turn to God with all weakness and just rely on His help, cause i couldn't do it. I made a commitment to Him to accept living my life this way and all the sacrafices that came with it, and He gives me strength to do it because I do it to glorify Him. And thats the key, He gets the glory. Also what was a huge help was coming to grips with the things I would be sacraficing. When you count the costs, its easier to prepare yourself for the road ahead. Anyways, thats my story. I do it for Him and only Him. If you try to do it because the bible says to or because its the christian way, you going to fail. You have to do it for your Father.