The Struggle Is Real...

  • Thread starter Thread starter ScarsThatBind
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

ScarsThatBind

Guest
Hello all, boy I haven't been around here in a long time! For those that don't remember me my name is Emilie and I'm almost 24 years old. I've been struggling with Anorexia Nervosa (binge-purge subtype) for as long as I can remember. In and out of treatment centers and I was at my lowest weight when I first found this site. It really helped encourage me to let my current team treat me. So, I went IIP and began the over a yearllong process of getting healthy. I believe you all at this place, and God saved my life. When I checked into treatment I was almost 87 lbs at 5ft tall and my heartbeat was only 40bpm. I was death warmed over...

Now? I am 115lbs and a healthy, strong hb. I am conquering my fear foods one bite at a time, I am learning how to drive finally, I am attending college to become a better writer and I even joined the band at my church.

However, I still have horrible self esteem and there are days where I give in and don't eat at all. But, it's all part of recovery right?
 
My friend I am so happy to hear how God reached your heart and helped you from those here in cc, i don't know if I was one of them but i am so glad that god used my cc family to save you and help you and to encourage you.
No worries about the self esteem issue I struggle with that more than you can imagine sometimes the chains of it become too heavy for me and I break but God always helps me back up:)
 
I am praying God makes our broken heart collide...
But what I gotta do
Is stop pursuing you
Sorry to say but Pretty
lady you n me r through
I live by his word
I won't be detterd
There is no question
Don't rob me of a blessing
For unequally yoked
Cause to be choked
If you were a believer
Then you wouldn't be the reader
Of this I'll defined rhyme
Of sorrowfully grime
I can't give you
any more of my time.
This is not my desire
But I live for something higher
 
Emilie, wow God is good. The Lord loves and cares for you. Stay connected to real christians who read the Word of God you'll know them by their love and works. Get under a great couple at church and ask them if they could mentor and be your spiritual parents to help you develop character and strength in the Lord. They can keep you accountable and help you with the thoughts that keep you from eating.

I love you and have you on my prayer list.
 
ScarsThatBind......I cannot pretend to know the struggles that you have been through because life, to me, is so precious that I cannot see how snuffing it out brings glory to JESUS CHRIST. However, I rejoice with you because the direction you are taking is building up a spiritual wall that can and will overpower this dark area that wants to rob you of the joy of your salvation. I would encourage you to find your real spiritual gift(s) as mentioned in 1 Corinthians, chapt. 12 and start using them to help others. It refocuses your purpose driven life so much that you will not have time to worry over your 'self" but puts the fun back into having a relationship with JESUS. Helping others is much more rewarding, spiritually and physically. Joyce Meyers is a fine example of a woman who has struggled with all kinds of setbacks, abuse and much more. You are perfect material that can be used by JESUS CHRIST as a witness to others. You have put this into the arms of JESUS,who has taken your burdens and now, by giving Him praise...use it as a tool to fight back that which satan has used against you!
 
Thank you all so much. I had the opportunity to possibly go home today from IIP and I blew it. I don't know why, or maybe subconsciously I do, who knows. So, I'm in this place for at least another two weeks. So frustrating, trying not to binge because I know that won't help anything...
 
Sounds like you need a friend who can monitor you and coach you into thinking differently. Make a friend or ask family to monitor you, in order to change we need to form new habits.
 
I knew a girl in high school once who told me she had to have veneers placed on her teeth because her anorexia got so bad at one point it she worn the enamel away from vomiting. She was treated with something called CBT (cognitive behavial therapy) and was cured.
 
Yes, I have to have dental work done. I have a retainer fitted with a fake k9 because I had to have one removed and a molar but thankfully you can't see that one. I do daily CBT and weekly group therapy. Slowly but surely I shall win the race.
 
Maybe if we have faith - true faith - then we can see our Father's love for us and we get our eyes off ourselves and are just grateful for the Life He gives us. I think the cure to low self esteem is to deny our self and instead live to love others....
 
lovethelight said:
Maybe if we have faith - true faith - then we can see our Father's love for us and we get our eyes off ourselves and are just grateful for the Life He gives us. I think the cure to low self esteem is to deny our self and instead live to love others....
Click to expand...

Gotta love the light!
 
ScarsThatBind said:
Hello all, boy I haven't been around here in a long time! For those that don't remember me my name is Emilie and I'm almost 24 years old. I've been struggling with Anorexia Nervosa (binge-purge subtype) for as long as I can remember. In and out of treatment centers and I was at my lowest weight when I first found this site. It really helped encourage me to let my current team treat me. So, I went IIP and began the over a yearllong process of getting healthy. I believe you all at this place, and God saved my life. When I checked into treatment I was almost 87 lbs at 5ft tall and my heartbeat was only 40bpm. I was death warmed over...

Now? I am 115lbs and a healthy, strong hb. I am conquering my fear foods one bite at a time, I am learning how to drive finally, I am attending college to become a better writer and I even joined the band at my church.

However, I still have horrible self esteem and there are days where I give in and don't eat at all. But, it's all part of recovery right?
Click to expand...

Good, very good. Yes, it IS a struggle (dealing with our garbage), but God is capable, despite the fact that we're not.

It's far better to struggle than to do nothing at all.

Good job. Keep on keeping on ^^
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Many people say taking the first step is the hardest. Knowing you found help, and have been improving shows how strong of a person you are. Keep moving forward.
 
update: I got to go home a couple days ago as my Dr thinks I am making enough progress to continue at home with IOP program and weekly group meetings. Along with the help of my church and my best friend Ben who is also Christian, I think I'm in a good spot this time to truly beat this! I've made some wonderful friends here who keep me laughing and the bible study (as crazy as it gets in there haha) has really helped me focus on God and know that without Him I would not be where I am right now. I am blessed beyond reason.

Ben came over the other day and took me to a movie and bought dinner (no, not a date :p) he told me he is proud of me for going away and getting the treatment I needed and that he still has feelings for me (some of you may remember my other post "Emilie Diaries" that explains things more) but he said he wants me to get better fully before he tries to persue me and a relationship, for now still just friends hanging out. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I would love a relationship with a God fearing man who has been my best friend for like 11 years, but then what if something happens and it ruins our friendship? I don't feel like God is calling me to him in that way yet...rambling...

anywho. *happy home dance* :p
 
Praying for you Emilie!
You can be healthy!
It will take time, but have faith
In Jesus Name
Amen :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back