Love Languages in Friendships

[AsifinPassing]

So, I retook it just for kicks, and these are my current scores:

Your Scores

9 Physical Touch
9 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
4 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts

...I'm pretty sure my scores change every time I take this depending on where I'm at in life at the time, but those top 3 are consistent (just in varying order).

Very insightful, thanks Reece. The two women I had this conversation with seemed to be trying to tell me that they loved affection from others in general. One was married and one was single and had never dated. I mentioned to each of them that I actually didn't hug them much because they seemed not to want it, but they assured me that they loved hugs. Maybe they were just being nice. Ha.

I'm an introvert (I am!) in my soul, but I like affection. However, there's a limit to it. I don't want to be touched ALL the time. I might be weirded out if someone kept putting their hand on my shoulder while talking to me, etc. But I definitely do feel loved when being hugged or patted. (I do not go around hugging and touching everyone I see, just FYI. )

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]Also, I wonder if the need or comfort levels people have with physical touch have much to do with the amount of affectionate touch they received as a child from parents or loved ones.

[/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif]I bet that could definitely be a factor. Hmm... it's hard to say with any certainty. Take me, for example... I grew up in a household where culturally, relatives and close friends kiss each other (yes, on the lips), hug, and touch in many affectionate ways quite often, and I'm one who doesn't like that (despite it being the model for me growing up).

[/FONT]...so I don't know.. Interesting to think about, though.

 

[cinder]

Oddly, the people who tell me that their love language is physical touch are often people who send out "don't touch me" vibes. They are not natural "huggers" and seem uncomfortable and awkward being touched. But so far two of these women have openly acknowledged that touch is their top love language. Any thoughts on that? I'm not sure whether to bust through their reserve and touch them anyway, or respect the invisible boundary they have unknowingly put up around themselves.

They may have misidentified, but I find that for myself (whileI don't identify physical touch as in my top 2) touch is very powerful and it therefore feels unnatural and uncomfortable with people I don't know well. When I'm uncertain I've adopted the strategy of asking people "Do I know you well enough to hug you?" So touch may well communicate love to me, but it's not open season for just anyone to love me like that. Quite truthfully it feels insincere when people who aren't close try to express love through touch.

 

[coby]

They may have misidentified, but I find that for myself (whileI don't identify physical touch as in my top 2) touch is very powerful and it therefore feels unnatural and uncomfortable with people I don't know well. When I'm uncertain I've adopted the strategy of asking people "Do I know you well enough to hug you?" So touch may well communicate love to me, but it's not open season for just anyone to love me like that. Quite truthfully it feels insincere when people who aren't close try to express love through touch.

Almost noone in Holland touches or hugs. I'd never just touch someone. Weird. I hug my boys. Lol my sister and I shake hands with a birthday. I am huggy though, but not with everyone.
I used to lightly bump my ex and most people, but he so hated it and got aggressive when I did it, that I almost never do that anymore to anyone.
Lol and I used to hug everyone in church, well women when they came for inner healing.

 

[mochi]

My top list is words of affirmation and last is physical touch.. i feel awkward dont know why??