I swear, everytime I hear my friend talking about how much they love their girlfriend
- Thread starter dothackzero
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G
oh! pick me! I know how you feel!
pretty much all of my friends are going out with each other(one couple is even engaged and my ex got married on v-day) and leave little comments on fb and ms pages along with pics of them kissing (gross) and then when I hang out with them they flirt and junk, and I mean I really am happy for them, I just hate the whole stabbing feeling that I get when I see it all. and then it makes me kinda mad that they freak out when they dont get to see each other cuz im like at least you have someone! buuut yeeeeah.... *pulls knife out of heart* muuuch better.
pretty much all of my friends are going out with each other(one couple is even engaged and my ex got married on v-day) and leave little comments on fb and ms pages along with pics of them kissing (gross) and then when I hang out with them they flirt and junk, and I mean I really am happy for them, I just hate the whole stabbing feeling that I get when I see it all. and then it makes me kinda mad that they freak out when they dont get to see each other cuz im like at least you have someone! buuut yeeeeah.... *pulls knife out of heart* muuuch better.
H
I'm going to laugh when you guys have a significant other and are making out with them all the time and know what it feels like to just be happy with someone. You're gonna look back at this post be be like *facepalm* Just chill out, calm down, and continue improving your relationship with God. God let's all the things happen according to His will...by being jealous, not only are you sinning, but you are also sort of telling God that you don't approve of His will. When you are ready, if He sees fit, He'll bring someone in your life. So either you aren't ready, or He doesn't will it. One you can try fixing, the other, you just need to accept.
I think, I haven't really gotten any conformation on it yet... But I think the Holy Spirit told me a while ago that I'll be getting a girlfriend a little while after my social anxiety gets fixed or at least isn't as bad as it is now. Still it's hard to wait, but sides I don't even know for sure if it was him...
H
Trust me, when I was single and I had to listen to my roommate who happens to be my best friend since 3rd grade snogging...and other things with her boyfriend while I was still in the room, I wanted to duct tape the to opposite ends of the room. Then, any time we'd try to watch a movie, they would have to have the couch and kick me onto the floor so they could snuggle and use obnoxious baby talk and tickle and giggle the ENTIRE movie. Gag me...
But now I'm the married one, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *Straightens her hair and clear her throat* I mean...now I know what it feels like to be completely in love with someone, and all you want is to pretty much absorb them into every facet of your life. But having seen what it felt like, I know that there is a time and a season for everything. There is nothing wrong with showing my husband affection or enjoying being around him, but there is no reason for me to be glued to his side with our tongues down each other's throats every public opportunity we get. It's hard to in the balance between being in love and being respectful to those around you.
Interestingly enough, today, while I was at work, I had a middle aged (not so attractive) couple come in to get some icecream. The entire time I was preparing it, they were being QUITE intimate with one another (to the point that his hands were exploring anatomy that was completely innappropriate). I just kept my eyes averted and made a joke that if they got any hotter, they were going to melt my icecream. Had there been children around, or other customers, I would have directly asked them to stop, but since I could focus on other things, I let them...do their thing. Still, I felt it was extremely direspectful to be showing THAT level of intimacy in a public place, especially in front of someone who is trying to do you a service. I couldn't ask them questions about their order because they had their tongues wrapped around each other's tonsils in some prehistoric game of tug of war uvula style...but it makes me smile when I see couples holding hands, smiling at each other, and giving little kisses. I personally think it's the cutest thing ever to see a guy kiss the top of a girls head and close his eyes like you KNOW he's thanking God for her.
Things like that should make you happy, to know they are experiencing love, since God is love. It should give you hope that you'll be that couple some day. Don't let Satan twist it into rage and jealousy, don't let it eat away at your heart and make you bitter and angry. Let it build you up, let it bring you closer to God.
But now I'm the married one, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *Straightens her hair and clear her throat* I mean...now I know what it feels like to be completely in love with someone, and all you want is to pretty much absorb them into every facet of your life. But having seen what it felt like, I know that there is a time and a season for everything. There is nothing wrong with showing my husband affection or enjoying being around him, but there is no reason for me to be glued to his side with our tongues down each other's throats every public opportunity we get. It's hard to in the balance between being in love and being respectful to those around you.
Interestingly enough, today, while I was at work, I had a middle aged (not so attractive) couple come in to get some icecream. The entire time I was preparing it, they were being QUITE intimate with one another (to the point that his hands were exploring anatomy that was completely innappropriate). I just kept my eyes averted and made a joke that if they got any hotter, they were going to melt my icecream. Had there been children around, or other customers, I would have directly asked them to stop, but since I could focus on other things, I let them...do their thing. Still, I felt it was extremely direspectful to be showing THAT level of intimacy in a public place, especially in front of someone who is trying to do you a service. I couldn't ask them questions about their order because they had their tongues wrapped around each other's tonsils in some prehistoric game of tug of war uvula style...but it makes me smile when I see couples holding hands, smiling at each other, and giving little kisses. I personally think it's the cutest thing ever to see a guy kiss the top of a girls head and close his eyes like you KNOW he's thanking God for her.
Things like that should make you happy, to know they are experiencing love, since God is love. It should give you hope that you'll be that couple some day. Don't let Satan twist it into rage and jealousy, don't let it eat away at your heart and make you bitter and angry. Let it build you up, let it bring you closer to God.
G
oh I get all happy for all my friends and couples when they are together, and none of them do anything remotely gross.
I honestly dont think the pang of pain I feel is jealousy, but more of the human hole of longing God put in us for a mate and i just think to myself 'I cant wait til I have someone like that!'
I honestly dont think the pang of pain I feel is jealousy, but more of the human hole of longing God put in us for a mate and i just think to myself 'I cant wait til I have someone like that!'
M
To a degree it's the same for everyone, when your single it sometimes seems like there's nothing but happy couples everywhere to rub it in your face and shine a light on the fact that you are on your own.
You have to try and empathise a little though, when people are happy and feel they have found a true love they have every right to display affection, they also have every right to talk about it and surely they should be able to talk to their friends, because if not then who?
Sure this puts you in a tough position but it is something we sometimes have to put up with, maybe it's one the less pleasent elements of friendship but as long as the behavior is reasonable then it's O.K., I think it's acceptable to hug, hold hands and generally show outward affection, once they start kissing and groping it's time to speak up because they should also be showing consideration for you as well.
Eventually the tables will turn and it'll be you who doesn't want to stop being affectionate with your partner, when that day comes, recall how much you dislike it
and think twice.
You have to try and empathise a little though, when people are happy and feel they have found a true love they have every right to display affection, they also have every right to talk about it and surely they should be able to talk to their friends, because if not then who?
Sure this puts you in a tough position but it is something we sometimes have to put up with, maybe it's one the less pleasent elements of friendship but as long as the behavior is reasonable then it's O.K., I think it's acceptable to hug, hold hands and generally show outward affection, once they start kissing and groping it's time to speak up because they should also be showing consideration for you as well.
Eventually the tables will turn and it'll be you who doesn't want to stop being affectionate with your partner, when that day comes, recall how much you dislike it
and think twice.
H
They aren't shoving it in your face. You are allowing it to affect you in a negative manner. Since I'm sure they mean no maliciousness to you when they post things like that or show affection, that means YOU are the one with a problem when you let it impact you. Try looking at it in a different light, a positive one instead of a negative one. Instead of being jealous, be happy for them and be hopeful that someday you will share that same bond with someone.
M
I partly know what you mean. Even for me, a confirmed old bachelor with no intentions of aquiring a member of the opposite sex to hang off my arm, it's still uncomfortable watching my friend doing obscene things and making silly decisions all because of a woman.
My question to you is really, why do you want to turn into one of those jibbering inbeciles who get high just from the scent of their bird? It's just another form of slavery that goes under the banner of 'love'.
My question to you is really, why do you want to turn into one of those jibbering inbeciles who get high just from the scent of their bird? It's just another form of slavery that goes under the banner of 'love'.
M
haha Maddog, a bit pessimistic aren't you? If loving someone was slavery, there wouldn't be so many people fighting to get in on it. I agree, sometimes it can be ridiculous and sometimes it ends badly, but honestly God gave us "love" to make us happy. Have you ever loved anyone?
And you call yourself a "confirmed, old bachelor". If what your profile says is correct, you're 23. You've got years to go until you're one of those!
And you call yourself a "confirmed, old bachelor". If what your profile says is correct, you're 23. You've got years to go until you're one of those!
M
Well, yes I know that love is wonderful thing and that even though men and women can't stand each other we're still paradoxically drawn to each other etc. but it's still painful to watch my best friends lose all capacity to reason just because they're supposedly 'in love'. I'm talking about when they forsake the things they previously enjoyed doing, abruptly change their firmly held convictions in light of their girlfriend's opinion and never being able to see any of her faults (no matter how many times I point them out). And when it all comes crashing down, I'm the one who has to let them come round in the early hours of the morning to give them counsel over a brew.
Have I loved anyone? Not in the silly, romantic sense. However, I would say that being there (albeit in my dressing gown and nightcap) for my friends at 3 in the morning has got to be love.
Yes, I'm 23, and I've had enough of this life. It's all down hill now and I'm just waiting to slip away peacefully. But even given the unfortunate liklihood that I'll keep dragging on several more decades, I can't see myself ever getting involved with a woman. As time goes by I just get more and more cynical of the whole thing.
Have I loved anyone? Not in the silly, romantic sense. However, I would say that being there (albeit in my dressing gown and nightcap) for my friends at 3 in the morning has got to be love.
Yes, I'm 23, and I've had enough of this life. It's all down hill now and I'm just waiting to slip away peacefully. But even given the unfortunate liklihood that I'll keep dragging on several more decades, I can't see myself ever getting involved with a woman. As time goes by I just get more and more cynical of the whole thing.
M
Oh my. You are cynical. haha It's funny for me to say that because I thought I was about as cynical as it gets. It seems to me that you're cynical about more than just "love"... you're a bit cynical about life in general. Clearly, since I'm a bit younger I'm likely not the best to respond to this with something to the effect of "It just gets better as you get older. You just have to wait and see what God has in store for you." But guess what? I'll say that. Because it's people like you who make me want to be more positive. It's responses like these that make me want to convince you that you don't have to just "drag on" through the rest of your life. You can live it and experience it and love it.
As for your friends, I agree completely. It's upsetting to me when I see people changing who they are and what they believe in for someone else. But if you have to give up your firmly held convictions for reasons other than being completely convinced that the other person's views are correct, I don't know that that's actually love.
You obviously love your friends and they trust you to help them out. That's wonderful. But does that make you think that you might just be capable of loving someone else just as much?
Don't get me wrong, I don't know from experience. I'm 18 years old and can't tell you what it's like to be in love with someone in the "silly, romantic sense." To be honest, I don't know that I want to know. But it's something to think about. Why put it completely out of the picture now? I hate to tell you, but you've probably got decades left. =)
As for your friends, I agree completely. It's upsetting to me when I see people changing who they are and what they believe in for someone else. But if you have to give up your firmly held convictions for reasons other than being completely convinced that the other person's views are correct, I don't know that that's actually love.
You obviously love your friends and they trust you to help them out. That's wonderful. But does that make you think that you might just be capable of loving someone else just as much?
Don't get me wrong, I don't know from experience. I'm 18 years old and can't tell you what it's like to be in love with someone in the "silly, romantic sense." To be honest, I don't know that I want to know. But it's something to think about. Why put it completely out of the picture now? I hate to tell you, but you've probably got decades left. =)