Please help, My dad is controlling my life

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Get out of the house. I ran out when I was 19. It was unbearable. God gave me a room in a students' home.
 
I'm from South Africa. I know this is a young age to get serious about who I want to marry, but I really feel like this guy is everything I want in a husband. The reason we get along so well is because we both love Jesus with all our hearts and Jesus is already the main focus of our relationship and were only dating for almost 3 months. The only big problem is that we are different ethnicities (he is coloured and I'm white) and my dad is totally against is. My dad is very controlling and wants to control my life. I'm currently studying (not in my home town) and I'm a second year now. My parents pays for everything for me at this stage (my apartment, car, every week they give me money for food, ect.) It's really hard for me that my dad is so controlling, the day I told him that I like this guy he told me he will kick me out of the house. I told my boyfriend everything and he understood everything, we didn't want to loose contact because we became really good friends and motivated and prayed for each other so much. We told each other that we are going to stay best friends. And that plan worked for almost 2 weeks and then we realised we didn't just want to friends because we love each other and it's to difficult to get over each other because bot one of us broke the other ones heart or did anything bad. I feel so bad because I'm basically lying to my parents about this. God sent both of us so many signals that we should be in a relationship, eg. I was off the weekend and I asked God that my boyfriend can get one half day that weekend (ps he barely get of, because the GM is very rude). and God gave him off the entire Sunday. That really showed God was for us, because I believe if God was against in He wouldn't have made that happen. Another example is when we haven't seen each other in a week and I told him that we will see each other that specific week, and God made it possible for is to see each other the Saturday night 21h00. The one thing I asked God is that I only have one serious boyfriend and I want to marry that one boyfriend. I just want to ask how can I get through this trial. Because now it feels like my dad is the forth person in our relationship and there should only be 3.
 
Try to get a part time job while you study, once you both have an income, find somewhere cheap to live, then tell you father he doesn't have to finance you anymore, that way at least he won't feel he is exploited, and he might be more friendly about it?

... but do make sure this guy you want to marry is a good guy before you do anything drastic, eh? :)
 
I would like to read what you wrote. But you playing around with the colors, fonts, and sizes discourages that. Show us this maturity, and use the default settings, OK?
 
He is paying your way.

Of course he wants to control.

That is the way it is.

Want total freedom?

Pay your own way.

Enjoy your youth. Age comes quickly enough.

When you cut the purse strings and prematurely get on your own,with 2jobs just to survive,you won't have time for a boyfriend anyway
 
I'm from South Africa. I know this is a young age to get serious about who I want to marry, but I really feel like this guy is everything I want in a husband. The reason we get along so well is because we both love Jesus with all our hearts and Jesus is already the main focus of our relationship and were only dating for almost 3 months. The only big problem is that we are different ethnicities (he is coloured and I'm white) and my dad is totally against is. My dad is very controlling and wants to control my life. I'm currently studying (not in my home town) and I'm a second year now. My parents pays for everything for me at this stage (my apartment, car, every week they give me money for food, ect.) It's really hard for me that my dad is so controlling, the day I told him that I like this guy he told me he will kick me out of the house. I told my boyfriend everything and he understood everything, we didn't want to loose contact because we became really good friends and motivated and prayed for each other so much. We told each other that we are going to stay best friends. And that plan worked for almost 2 weeks and then we realised we didn't just want to friends because we love each other and it's to difficult to get over each other because bot one of us broke the other ones heart or did anything bad. I feel so bad because I'm basically lying to my parents about this. God sent both of us so many signals that we should be in a relationship, eg. I was off the weekend and I asked God that my boyfriend can get one half day that weekend (ps he barely get of, because the GM is very rude). and God gave him off the entire Sunday. That really showed God was for us, because I believe if God was against in He wouldn't have made that happen. Another example is when we haven't seen each other in a week and I told him that we will see each other that specific week, and God made it possible for is to see each other the Saturday night 21h00. The one thing I asked God is that I only have one serious boyfriend and I want to marry that one boyfriend. I just want to ask how can I get through this trial. Because now it feels like my dad is the forth person in our relationship and there should only be 3.​







​
 
Willie-T said:
I would like to read what you wrote. But you playing around with the colors, fonts, and sizes discourages that. Show us this maturity, and use the default settings, OK?
Click to expand...

Both mine and Willie's font size is set on 3. This is a good size for you to use so we can see what you write. Oh, and please use paragraphs, it makes your posts sooo much easier to read. :)
 
I already have a part time job, and my studies are extremely expensive, and there isnt many bursaries for it
 
LizHeartJesus said:
I'm from South Africa. I know this is a young age to get serious about who I want to marry, but I really feel like this guy is everything I want in a husband. The reason we get along so well is because we both love Jesus with all our hearts and Jesus is already the main focus of our relationship and were only dating for almost 3 months. The only big problem is that we are different ethnicities (he is coloured and I'm white) and my dad is totally against is. My dad is very controlling and wants to control my life. I'm currently studying (not in my home town) and I'm a second year now. My parents pays for everything for me at this stage (my apartment, car, every week they give me money for food, ect.) It's really hard for me that my dad is so controlling, the day I told him that I like this guy he told me he will kick me out of the house. I told my boyfriend everything and he understood everything, we didn't want to loose contact because we became really good friends and motivated and prayed for each other so much. We told each other that we are going to stay best friends. And that plan worked for almost 2 weeks and then we realised we didn't just want to friends because we love each other and it's to difficult to get over each other because bot one of us broke the other ones heart or did anything bad. I feel so bad because I'm basically lying to my parents about this. God sent both of us so many signals that we should be in a relationship, eg. I was off the weekend and I asked God that my boyfriend can get one half day that weekend (ps he barely get of, because the GM is very rude). and God gave him off the entire Sunday. That really showed God was for us, because I believe if God was against in He wouldn't have made that happen. Another example is when we haven't seen each other in a week and I told him that we will see each other that specific week, and God made it possible for is to see each other the Saturday night 21h00. The one thing I asked God is that I only have one serious boyfriend and I want to marry that one boyfriend. I just want to ask how can I get through this trial. Because now it feels like my dad is the forth person in our relationship and there should only be 3.



Get a job and stop relying on daddy to pay for everything. You're enabling him to control you by allowing him to pay for everything you need. You're a big girl now, so start making your own way in the world. And tell daddy that you're an adult now, fully capable of making your own decisions and marrying who YOU (and God) want to marry, regardless of whether daddy approves or not. Sounds like daddy is a control freak. :/​
Click to expand...
 
LizHeartJesus said:
I already have a part time job, and my studies are extremely expensive, and there isnt many bursaries for it
Click to expand...

Does your boyfriend have a job too? Start setting aside a little from each check. Ask daddy to please stop trying to control your life. Tell him you appreciate all he does for you, but that he needs to accept that you're an adult now..
 
My dad may be a control freak but i know he loves me. I really want to finish my studies because it will really help me in the future.
 
Currently he is looking for a new job because he isnt that passionate about his job anymore, and im not expecting of him to pay for my studies
 
As long as your dad pays he will control I'm afraid. Do you need a car? Can't you just rent a room in a house with people?
I paid 200 euro a month for a students' home and took a bike.
 
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