My heart is damaged

[Alexander_M642]

So I've prayed for forgiveness, and started walking back in the LORD.

Went to a cafe near my aparment, and out of a book i'm reading, it told me to write out my core values on a worksheet provided to me via it's site.

This is what came of it




Folks, my heart is bitter.
20+ years, and no friends, no heroes, no relationships...I dont even have people to hate. I'm so bitter, I dont even know if it can be fixed.

You see the picture (Also, why is it sideways? How do I straighten it?)
This is what's on my heart. It made me so upset, I stopped my study session, went to my car, and almost got killed by another driver on the way home.

Can God restore my relationships? Can God give me friends? Can God give me a girlfriend?
I dont want any BS answers either. I want pratical, true, applicable answers

 

[blue_ladybug]

So I've prayed for forgiveness, and started walking back in the LORD.

Went to a cafe near my aparment, and out of a book i'm reading, it told me to write out my core values on a worksheet provided to me via it's site.

This is what came of it

View attachment 145422


Folks, my heart is bitter.
20+ years, and no friends, no heroes, no relationships...I dont even have people to hate. I'm so bitter, I dont even know if it can be fixed.

You see the picture (Also, why is it sideways? How do I straighten it?)
This is what's on my heart. It made me so upset, I stopped my study session, went to my car, and almost got killed by another driver on the way home.

Can God restore my relationships? Can God give me friends? Can God give me a girlfriend?
I dont want any BS answers either. I want pratical, true, applicable answers

As long as you remain bitter, you will never progress in your walk with Jesus. Turn it all over to Him and let him remove it from you. Can God restore your relationships? YES. Can he give you friends? YES. Can he give you a girlfriend? YES. However, you seriously need to change your mindset from negative, to positive. Only when you forgive those who have hurt you, and turned your bitterness over to God, will you begin to see positive changes in your life.

 

[Alexander_M642]

As long as you remain bitter, you will never progress in your walk with Jesus. Turn it all over to Him and let him remove it from you. Can God restore your relationships? YES. Can he give you friends? YES. Can he give you a girlfriend? YES. However, you seriously need to change your mindset from negative, to positive. Only when you forgive those who have hurt you, and turned your bitterness over to God, will you begin to see positive changes in your life.

I appreciate your heart in this manner. It means a lot to me.

I spoke with a moderator recently, and this moderator told me something similar:

"Do you hold any unforgiveness? Is there anything that may be holding you back"

I forgave everyone of this world. Most of my negative comes from my (lack of a) relationship with God. It's like a grinding gear

I reviewed that sheet, and I caught a moment of utter defeat and hopelessness. It basically said "You failed in the relationship department, and you're 27 and an adult." It asked me about people in my life that made an impact. I have none.

I'm in a position right now where I am reconciled with God. Maybe I need to spend more time in him and evade sinful temptations. It's a tough battle.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Can God restore my relationships? Can God give me friends? Can God give me a girlfriend?

God can do anything and everything - or nothing.

 

[Utah]

Get a Harley, some leather and a tattoo, then ride cross country, keeping your eyes on the road and your heart on Christ. You'll make friends. Look me up when you hit New Jersey. We'll chill together.

 

[Alexander_M642]

Ok, it just got worse.

My unemployment just got cut off. I havent received a job offer yet. I'm almost bankrupt.

TELL ME AGAIN how God is Good? Seriously, tell me again how God helps people?
TELL ME THE TRUTH.

And dont say I'm over-reacting...I'm literally facing the abyss right now. This is no joke. Tell me how God helps people again?

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

Get a Harley, some leather and a tattoo, then ride cross country, keeping your eyes on the road and your heart on Christ. You'll make friends. Look me up when you hit New Jersey. We'll chill together.

I'm so looking you up when I travel, man.

Alexander... All the very best to you. I've been in a similar boat with finances, and I hope for some very positive change to find you soon.

 

[Alexander_M642]

Thanks for the support. I really do appreciate it.
I'm scouring Google for support resources.
I left a message for my pastor at my church to see if I can talk to him.

Today is different than most other days.
I got cut off from unemployment, and I cant seem to land a job. I'm frantic, since this is truly sink-or-swim time.

I could be tested for my faith, or it could mean the end.
I woke up at 6am today (03/09/2016), and freaked out. I came back later, and I think some people muted me when I was reaching out for help.

Guys, I will admit, most of my journey in faith was mired by continunal sin and fleshly gratification, but I've managed to remain free of it for a bit. If God is love, surely there's an escape route somewhere. It even says so in the bible. I dont know how long I have, but I may have to sell my small business off and take my losses.

Not so much prayers, as I dont think they'll make a difference, but...just tell me God will help me get back on my feet. I need that confirmation. Can he take nothing, and make a somebody out of anybody?

 

[coby]

Yes He's a specialist in making somebody's out of nobody's. You qualify perfectly they say in my church. He can't use the ones who think they're so fantastic.

 

[pwrnJC]

Alexander M642...
Find a local soup kitchen, mission house, social service sponsored event, homeless shelter, drug rehab money raiser, inner city cleanup detail, nursing home activities director who has run out of ideas, etc.....and feel free to JUMP IN...submerge yourself into helping someone else entirely...refocusing your MIND away from "WOA is me, pity me..I need this, I need that" and see how you can begin to be of a joy to others. "Nuff said........Meanwhile, I stand firm on praying "You dark, depressive spirit within Alexander, you are not needed there. FLEE in the name of JESUS!!!!!!!"

 

[YankeesGurl]

I have been following this thread and have not felt led to comment until now.

God helps you by encompassing what your going through and prepareing to use it for a greater good...ONCE YOU LET GO OF IT AND LET HIM WORK.
Now, that does not mean that you stop looking for work etc.........but you TRUST that He has this.

I am not even sure of what all to share here.....but I feel like my life has been this dramatic novel that I have been reading for years, because it does not seem possible that all this 'stuff' could happen to one person. lol If I was not a Christian.....there is absolutely NO telling where I would have ended up.

I have been facing some pretty serious trials myself. One concerning one of my children that has left me feeling shattered most days....and another with a relationship that ended that I have not been able to gain clarity, peace, nor understanding on. BUT....even in both of these things that have pulled my heart in multiple directions all at once.....I TRUST that God works ALL things together for the good of those who love Him. It may not be today, or tomorrow. It may be 10 years down the road....or it may be on the other side of Heaven when you find out how your journey, impacted another life? We just don't know.

I pray that you find a sense of peace in your trial. I know it can be all consuming. It can be terrifying. and it can be heartbreaking and lonely.

(I hope I don't sound condencening (sp?) but it really is just that simple. Realizing you are NOTHING without Him and you trust Him with your life and therefore whatever direction He so chooses to take you.)

Blessings to you!!

Ok, it just got worse.

My unemployment just got cut off. I havent received a job offer yet. I'm almost bankrupt.

TELL ME AGAIN how God is Good? Seriously, tell me again how God helps people?
TELL ME THE TRUTH.

And dont say I'm over-reacting...I'm literally facing the abyss right now. This is no joke. Tell me how God helps people again?

 

[blue_ladybug]

Ok, it just got worse.

My unemployment just got cut off. I havent received a job offer yet. I'm almost bankrupt.

TELL ME AGAIN how God is Good? Seriously, tell me again how God helps people?
TELL ME THE TRUTH.

And dont say I'm over-reacting...I'm literally facing the abyss right now. This is no joke. Tell me how God helps people again?

No offense, but your attitude on your current situation is really lousy. Like I said in my previous post, change your attitude and you'll see positive changes. But if you keep THIS attitude, you won't get anywhere. God doesn't help those who don't help themselves. You gotta be proactive.

 

[Alexander_M642]

YankeesGurl: Thank you for sharing that. I just came to the same conclusion an hour ago, so I'm glad we can both see eye to eye on this.

BlueLadybug: I actually just did change my attitude 3 hours ago, and spent some of the evening at starbucks. I connected with 7 people there, and it was cool. Funny enough, even before you posted it, I put it to practice and just got myself out there. I guess...that's that.

 

[Utah]

TELL ME AGAIN how God is Good? Seriously, tell me again how God helps people?

God sent His Son to die on a Cross for you. That's how good He is and how He's helped you thus far!

Your unemployment ran out? How long have you not been working? I can get a job today cleaning toilets for $10 an hour and so can you, but that's obviously beneath you otherwise you wouldn't be here complaining that God isn't doing enough for you.

You want to work? You want to eat? You want to sustain your existence on this side of Heaven? Drop the attitude, go to a temp agency and you'll be working on the spot. In the meantime if you're hungry go to a local church for a meal, your local social services department and you'll be given food stamps, or you can buy a fishing pole and eat for life.

In closing, quit spitting in God's face. I'd go so far as to call you a spoiled, ungrateful brat but I don't feel like being banned from here just yet. Bottom line, you want to work? You'll work; its that simple.

My job is done here.

 

[blue_ladybug]

YankeesGurl: Thank you for sharing that. I just came to the same conclusion an hour ago, so I'm glad we can both see eye to eye on this.

BlueLadybug: I actually just did change my attitude 3 hours ago, and spent some of the evening at starbucks. I connected with 7 people there, and it was cool. Funny enough, even before you posted it, I put it to practice and just got myself out there. I guess...that's that.

That's good. See, you're making progress. It won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen.

 

[Alexander_M642]

God sent His Son to die on a Cross for you. That's how good He is and how He's helped you thus far!

Your unemployment ran out? How long have you not been working? I can get a job today cleaning toilets for $10 an hour and so can you, but that's obviously beneath you otherwise you wouldn't be here complaining that God isn't doing enough for you.

You want to work? You want to eat? You want to sustain your existence on this side of Heaven? Drop the attitude, go to a temp agency and you'll be working on the spot. In the meantime if you're hungry go to a local church for a meal, your local social services department and you'll be given food stamps, or you can buy a fishing pole and eat for life.

In closing, quit spitting in God's face. I'd go so far as to call you a spoiled, ungrateful brat but I don't feel like being banned from here just yet. Bottom line, you want to work? You'll work; its that simple.

My job is done here.

Try rummaging through 20-30 SALES ONLY jobs. They seem to be easy to fill, and I've always done bad at them. No one gives a crap to help me find the right career path, and then there are jerks like you who have the audacity to call me out on being a spoiled brat WHEN I ALREADY DID THE 2-3 JOB GRIND IN HIGH SCHOOL TO MAKE MONEY.

I came to God because he is a God of blessing and divine appointment. I have seen the hand of God bless many of my Christian friends, and the fact I still havent received that blessing drives me to seek him further. You dont know me, or my work ethic, or my willingness to go the extra mile. Did I mention I also run a business that is failing due to me not being able to break even most months? Oh, sorry I didn't mention that.

What good is working your butt off...if no one is even willing to bring you in for an interview? I can work. I have no problem grinding. It's what you do...the problem is EVERY TIME I TRY TO GET A NON-SALES JOB, the door keeps slamming in my face every time, and all I seem to get are crappy sales jobs that have 75% turnover or higher. Are you beginning to see the issue? I hope so...many people are blind when a man is down in the gutter. This is life.

I thought God could help. I know he can. I HAVE SEEN GOD BLESS OTHERS. I know he can move his hand for me. Maybe God hates me. I dont know. I'm not going to be a brownnosed whimperer and whine about it....but try applying over 200 job offers, getting 25 rejections, and 0 offers, and I want to see you tell me if I work, I'll get work.

I know what's gotta get done. You put your nose to the grindstone and you perform. I owned a (failing) business. Dont tell me about hard work. I know. I may leverage my business experience in my resume, but I dont want people thinking I cant commit to the organization.

If God threw me a helping hand, LIKE HE DID MY OTHER CHRISTIAN FRIENDS, I'd probably be more grateful. Maybe God doesn't like me. Oh well. C'est la vie.

That's good. See, you're making progress.

It won't happen overnight, but it WILL happen.

In light of what I just posted, I am making an effort to immerse my mind with worship music, and hopefully improve my attitude from there. That previous post just got me really angry.

I have no doubt enough APPLIED FAITH in the LORD will make the difference...but it hurts to trust when all you know is ruin and failure, and looking up for a sign of relief, but not finding any.,

 

[PANCAKES]

No offense, but your attitude on your current situation is really lousy. Like I said in my previous post, change your attitude and you'll see positive changes. But if you keep THIS attitude, you won't get anywhere. God doesn't help those who don't help themselves. You gotta be proactive.

Careful with the "God doesn't help those who don't help themselves" attitude. Please. I have been reading a lot of your comments, think about what you are saying before you say it, and make sure it is biblical ladybug.