I have been going to my current church for over 2 years now. I also attend a different church on Wednesday and Sunday nights because my church only has Sunday morning service. My church holds a special place in my heart because that's where I was saved, and my pastor is wonderful. However, I love the other church. I personally feel more fed there, and everyone there is such sweet and welcoming people. My church the people are kind but honestly the congregation just isn't into it. I myself don't either because I'm afraid of what others will say. So I have been considerig leaving my church. My questions are is those reasons grounds for leaving, and what do I tell my pastor? Do I need to say anything?
telling my pastor im leaving
- Thread starter Acr96
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C
cmarieh
Guest
When in doubt pray about it and follow God's direction. You can't go wrong following his instruction. God bless you
For me I would only go to that church that can fed me spiritually. Able to help, encourage and support me when iam in need. In asia countries like China, South Korea, Taiwan, Japan, hongkong, Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia etc.... their churches practiced this and I believed that this is one of the reason why their growth in spirit and in numbers are amazingly fast.
On the issue of your pastor, I would suggest that you tell him the truth ie the reason that make you join another church. This will enable the pastorto be informed of whats lacking in his church and take remedy steps and actions to correct it. Of course your pastor might look at it negatively. In my opinion, thats between him and God,be blessed
On the issue of your pastor, I would suggest that you tell him the truth ie the reason that make you join another church. This will enable the pastorto be informed of whats lacking in his church and take remedy steps and actions to correct it. Of course your pastor might look at it negatively. In my opinion, thats between him and God,be blessed
C
Chuckt
Guest
I agree that bringing this before the Lord in prayer is the most important step to take. Keep it simply & be free in the Lord. You simply feel another church is where you are being lead. Don't over complicate it, as God showers His Wonderful Grace on your life in times like this. Most importantly, walk in Love always.
I wouldn't tell the Pastor anything, just leave. Telling him that you feel more fed at a different church might sound like a jab at his horrible preaching skills, and he might feel insulted. If he's doing the best he can, telling him that your going somewhere better might be demeaning. I also wouldn't make my decision based on whether other people are "into it" either. The important thing is to learn God's word... jmo
Have you tried being part of the solution? Instead of simply abandoning your first church, why don't you try to inspire the church to grow and engage? I don't know how large your first church is, but I would imagine you could get involved in some way that would help. Talk to the pastor -- see what his vision is and what the vision of the elder board of the church. Perhaps you have some skills that might help this church turn around. If after exploring these things, you truly find you're not on the same page as this church, then the time might be right to switch.
On a side note, I would stop considering how you are fed by the church and start looking at how you can feed others at the church. You'll find that you'll be fed and filled up much more than if you're sitting on your hands waiting to be fed.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I've seen too many people think of church as a place to meet their own needs instead of a place to meet the needs of others.
On a side note, I would stop considering how you are fed by the church and start looking at how you can feed others at the church. You'll find that you'll be fed and filled up much more than if you're sitting on your hands waiting to be fed.
I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I've seen too many people think of church as a place to meet their own needs instead of a place to meet the needs of others.
Your pastor might care for you and want to know what has happened to you, if you switch churches.
A
Ariel82
Guest
Sounds like you have a connection with the pastor but not the congregation. I would tell the pastor you are leaving because even though you think he is wonderful, you have more of a connection with members of the other church.
I would pray about it but your pastor might be fine. I left the church I was baptized in, talk to the,pastor before leaving and he encouraged me to go where God lead me and I felt,like I could grow in Christ. That we were all brothers and sisters in Christ and were always welcomed.
I would pray about it but your pastor might be fine. I left the church I was baptized in, talk to the,pastor before leaving and he encouraged me to go where God lead me and I felt,like I could grow in Christ. That we were all brothers and sisters in Christ and were always welcomed.
K
Kenobi
Guest
I think leaving should be the last resort. If the teaching is biblical, stay and try to help build the church up.
Set aside for a moment all the particulars of this decision, or all the "what I think would be my highest moral decision", and remember the focus of God's Children is to receive, recognize, and rely on the Holy Spirit above all other things.
It is obvious you should pray, the question becomes which approach we take: "as the answer?" or because, "I couldn't find a clear answer?" Intellectually we even get the principle that we need to Ask, Seek, and Knock, realizing there is a graduating effort needed sometimes to unlock God's Divine provinces, yet, if we go into the prayer seeing it as a footnote, we will barely get past asking before the effort becomes too costly to us and we feel foolish. We know the importance of prayer doctrinally but familiarity of doctrine breeds contempt if we don't exercise the Spirit within.
We all know prayer is not a normal part of the life of the natural man, but what we need to understand is that prayer is the answer not a means to it, we also need to know the details to what that means. To put prayer as a priority isn't so much an issue of us suffering if we don't do it, but that the suffering is to the Son of God in us which becomes malnourished. For His Spirit is not fed by food, but by our prayers. The Holy Spirit serves, that is what He does, He delights in it; He is nourished by it.. Sometimes we don't get an answer to a thing because we simply haven't kept our spiritual furnace warmed up; our prayer life nourished. Paul talks about this as to run the race to win it -- keeping our spiritual wellness in shape and healthy. You are asking the perfect question, "What would God want me to do?" So now as a child of His "ASK, and you will receive...." (John 16:24).
Ask means to obtain an answer, or information from an outside source, to inherently want to know, to humbly question, to intentionally seek, to fervently interrogate with expectancy, looking to find an answer despite your own human reasoning lining up to that answer or not; to receive His answer as above your own. As we mature these become more and more the same answers. Intellectually and Spiritually discerned as we keep the furnace actively burning in prayer becoming more of the fullness of Christ in the practice of it. God wants us to put the belt of truth on and be honest with Him as to where we are at honestly about a issue, whether right or wrong doesn't matter to Him only our humility; for He will correct, or rebuke, or teach, or train as He sees fit in the furnace room of prayer and His Word. And in His gentle demeanor He invests in us as He is love. What we simply need to do is nourish God's ability to make room for Him to work. I have gotten very quick in having my T.V. remote controller respond correctly because I have spent time getting to know it well for my.... wait, what?.... bad example that's another prayer issue I might have to deal with.... ,never mind. Smile.
Are you at wits end yet? That seems to be the condition people start praying as if His answers are our answers. But a mature Christian prays this way in the valleys of life as well. A mature Child of God understands that prayer does change things but it is not as close to the truth as saying, "Prayer changes me and then I change things spiritually empowered." So now simply plug that into your question, and He will enlighten you to His will and His purposes in this area and He will empower you to do what it is His Wisdom seeks out for you, taking into account your desires as well. I encourage you to turn and burn. Burn the prayer furnace bright and hot and He will deliver a warm "Best Scenario" as His plan becomes your plan Spiritually discerned then look for the quiet "Ought to's" God will leave behind. All you have to do, then, is obey immediately all His spiritually tested "Ought to's," And you will be attending the Church He desires in having you serve Him, and receive Him best. May God richly bless you my friend and family member!
It is obvious you should pray, the question becomes which approach we take: "as the answer?" or because, "I couldn't find a clear answer?" Intellectually we even get the principle that we need to Ask, Seek, and Knock, realizing there is a graduating effort needed sometimes to unlock God's Divine provinces, yet, if we go into the prayer seeing it as a footnote, we will barely get past asking before the effort becomes too costly to us and we feel foolish. We know the importance of prayer doctrinally but familiarity of doctrine breeds contempt if we don't exercise the Spirit within.
We all know prayer is not a normal part of the life of the natural man, but what we need to understand is that prayer is the answer not a means to it, we also need to know the details to what that means. To put prayer as a priority isn't so much an issue of us suffering if we don't do it, but that the suffering is to the Son of God in us which becomes malnourished. For His Spirit is not fed by food, but by our prayers. The Holy Spirit serves, that is what He does, He delights in it; He is nourished by it.. Sometimes we don't get an answer to a thing because we simply haven't kept our spiritual furnace warmed up; our prayer life nourished. Paul talks about this as to run the race to win it -- keeping our spiritual wellness in shape and healthy. You are asking the perfect question, "What would God want me to do?" So now as a child of His "ASK, and you will receive...." (John 16:24).
Ask means to obtain an answer, or information from an outside source, to inherently want to know, to humbly question, to intentionally seek, to fervently interrogate with expectancy, looking to find an answer despite your own human reasoning lining up to that answer or not; to receive His answer as above your own. As we mature these become more and more the same answers. Intellectually and Spiritually discerned as we keep the furnace actively burning in prayer becoming more of the fullness of Christ in the practice of it. God wants us to put the belt of truth on and be honest with Him as to where we are at honestly about a issue, whether right or wrong doesn't matter to Him only our humility; for He will correct, or rebuke, or teach, or train as He sees fit in the furnace room of prayer and His Word. And in His gentle demeanor He invests in us as He is love. What we simply need to do is nourish God's ability to make room for Him to work. I have gotten very quick in having my T.V. remote controller respond correctly because I have spent time getting to know it well for my.... wait, what?.... bad example that's another prayer issue I might have to deal with.... ,never mind. Smile.
Are you at wits end yet? That seems to be the condition people start praying as if His answers are our answers. But a mature Christian prays this way in the valleys of life as well. A mature Child of God understands that prayer does change things but it is not as close to the truth as saying, "Prayer changes me and then I change things spiritually empowered." So now simply plug that into your question, and He will enlighten you to His will and His purposes in this area and He will empower you to do what it is His Wisdom seeks out for you, taking into account your desires as well. I encourage you to turn and burn. Burn the prayer furnace bright and hot and He will deliver a warm "Best Scenario" as His plan becomes your plan Spiritually discerned then look for the quiet "Ought to's" God will leave behind. All you have to do, then, is obey immediately all His spiritually tested "Ought to's," And you will be attending the Church He desires in having you serve Him, and receive Him best. May God richly bless you my friend and family member!
Last edited:
Yeah you do, if one of your friends was thinking of going separate ways for a different type of friendship you'd like him to say something to you.
P
popeye
Guest
Pastors deal with this all the time. People leave for various reasons. Let yours be that it is the leading of the Lord.
Make sure God leads you to a new place. Then your reason is a good one.
He will have to be a big boy,and bless you anyway if he has a pastor'e heart and calling.
Make sure God leads you to a new place. Then your reason is a good one.
He will have to be a big boy,and bless you anyway if he has a pastor'e heart and calling.
if the one church only has sunday morning service, and you feel like it's "dead" or cold, but you're being fed at the other church and see "life" there --
why don't you invite everyone you know at the one church to come with you to the other one on wednesday & sunday night? you already know they're not going to be busy at the first church, and that they sure could use it.
we're supposed to all be ONE CHURCH in Christ, not rivals and opposing clubs. it's not the pastor's job to personally hand-build the spiritual lives of everyone in the congregation - God has made us a body, and each of us is given spiritual gifts, and those gifts are for each other - the 'each other' being every other believer, which is not limited to one congregation or another. in part, it's your responsibility to help minister to everyone else in the church, and their responsibility too.
maybe you can help the first church revitalize and find the joy of their salvation again - shoot, maybe you ought to invite the pastor too. maybe it's God's will the whole first church close its doors and move into the second church. who knows? maybe the people in the first church would rather not be fed at all, and won't go with you. however it turns out, i would feel like i had not been faithful to the people God had put in my life in the first church, if i just pulled up stakes and split without telling any of them what i'd been seeing, spiritually, and what i'd found. it would be like abandoning a lot of people who were starving, because i'd found a garden with plenty in it, without even inviting them to come and eat! hey, if they don't even want to eat, that's something else - but it would be wrong not to offer them food. make sense?
amen to this
too many people think of the church as a feeding trough or a cafeteria, and the pastor as if he's the only one with any duty to minister to anyone. remember that we're a family -- all of us -- and each have a part to play, to minister to the pastor, included. he's not de-facto the only person able or gifted to teach or lead, and sometimes he might not be at all! maybe he's only gifted at counseling and witnessing, but no one else will step up to fill the other needs.
remember that at a pot-luck supper, everyone brings some food, and everyone eats. the pastor doesn't cater all the food - if it was always up to him, people would start going hungry, wouldn't they?
C
Church2u2
Guest
Look if you haven't left already then just do it. Be decisive and take the bull by the horns.I wouldn't tell the pastor anything because he'll know it when you no longer show up. Then if you decide to go back then you won't look like a liar. That's my advice but of course it's still your decision and whatever you decide to do , I hope it helps you.