Frightened by the evil within...

[PeterJens]

Something happened to me today, that made me feel both very ashamed and frightened at the same time.

Welcome to the world of opportunity. Your brain is a system which presents opportunities, options, ways of fulfilling desires.
You met an attractive woman. Your brain took to task the idea, make her mine. It returned with the method by which this could be achieved. This is how we work. Anything of interest to us that appears in our path, our brains will provide solutions to it.

Imagine if it was a guy with a gun? Or a car travelling towards you at great speed? Your brain has only a short time to assess the situation and come up with actions to save your life. It is no different, and does not reflect on your morals or who you are.

I heard a story about a man who was always optimistic in life. He just did what his brain came up with, as it always seemed a good idea. Later in life he got depressed and was prescribed some anti-depresants. A side effect of these drugs was often suicidal thoughts. Now for this guy, he did not separate the ideas that popped up from who he was. Not good. He had not been aware of thoughts are not who he is, it is what you choose that defines you, and what you dwell on.

You have within all the evil and desires that rule in every person. Given the right situations this junk will just come up.
Dismissing it for what it is, and putting it into context helps your brain deal with it. If our brains did not do this all the time we would find it hard to empathise or understand the thoughts occuring in others. So this process will always happen throughout your life.

 

[coby]

Something happened to me today, that made me feel both very ashamed and frightened at the same time.

I was walking out of my apartment building when I noticed a couple of new tenants struggling to take some large boxes to the dumpster; naturally I went over to assist them. It was a young couple, and the woman's extreme beauty caught my attention almost right away. As soon as she smiled and spoke, I had a thought that was...nearly automatic...a thought of me either hurting or killing her boyfriend so that I could have her! I dismissed the thought as soon as it came; realizing how bad it was, finished helping them and walked away without looking at the young woman again.

I did not act upon the thought in even the slightest way, I did not flirt or even speak to the woman; but the fact that I would even think such a dark thing really frightened me. I seriously had a strong urge to bash the guy's face in (though he was almost twice my size) and force myself upon his woman. I have had many bad thoughts in my lifetime...many bloody and violent thoughts, but never in a situation such as that. It made me consider the things that OTHER men might think when they see MY fiancé and I together. I did nothing wrong...but the shame I felt was almost overwhelming.

A wise man once told me: "you can't stop the birds from flying over your head; but you CAN stop them from making a nest in your hair."

This quote simply means, that in our sinful nature, some bad thoughts may come to our minds; but as long as we don't DWELL upon the thoughts, they do not have the opportunity to become sinful, or turn into sinful action.

I wiped the thoughts from my head, and asked for forgiveness, but I am almost angry that I even had the thought in the first place. This is one of the things that REALLY makes me DESPISE life. To wake up...day in day out...struggle with the many many MANY hurtles of life, day in day out struggle with MANY temptations....and then be EXPECTED by our God to never falter; despite being almost constantly surrounded by theses things! And if we do fall, then it is our own fault, because then everything once again falls into the realm of "free will".

It really bothered me. I don't want these feelings...I want them to just go away!

Confess that your old man died with Christ and you are a new creation. It can be demonic. Just bind that demon and throw him out in Jesus' Name or let someone else do it. Even if it's forced upon you and you don't want to think it, kick him out. You have the same power in you that raised Christ from the dead.

 

[Sirk]

When I was going thru my divorce and battling to see my son I found myself fantasizing about the demise of my ex. I don't feel that way today and we are finally at a place where we co parent well but she was so incredibly vicious to me that I wished she would die. It should be said that my son never knew we were battling and even though I felt that way I still encouraged him to love and obey him mom.

 

[coby]

When I was going thru my divorce and battling to see my son I found myself fantasizing about the demise of my ex. I don't feel that way today and we are finally at a place where we co parent well but she was so incredibly vicious to me that I wished she would die. It should be said that my son never knew we were battling and even though I felt that way I still encouraged him to love and obey him mom.

Oh yes I could kill my ex too and that judge even more. It was not just thoughts. I really tried to hit him before court with the camera's on it.
Lol lately a woman said: I have never seen an ex couple do it so well with the kids. Those other people fight and you are so kind, no problems, kids come first.
I said: oh but you have no idea how it was LOL.

 

[Depleted]

When I was going thru my divorce and battling to see my son I found myself fantasizing about the demise of my ex. I don't feel that way today and we are finally at a place where we co parent well but she was so incredibly vicious to me that I wished she would die. It should be said that my son never knew we were battling and even though I felt that way I still encouraged him to love and obey him mom.

I'm not saying what hubby called his ex, but this is the song he sang when the divorce papers were finalized. (I hadn't met him yet.)
[video=youtube;PHQLQ1Rc_Js]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHQLQ1Rc_Js[/video]

 

[Depleted]

When I was going thru my divorce and battling to see my son I found myself fantasizing about the demise of my ex. I don't feel that way today and we are finally at a place where we co parent well but she was so incredibly vicious to me that I wished she would die. It should be said that my son never knew we were battling and even though I felt that way I still encouraged him to love and obey him mom.

When your son becomes 18, ask him what he knew. I suspect you didn't cover as much as you think you did.

Dad never called his soon-to-be-ex names in front of my younger sister and brother. (Their mom, not mine.) But I was standing in just the right spot in the kitchen while Dad was on a tirade to see their reaction to what he did say. He just didn't notice his voice raised to a yell.

It was the only time I heard my dad curse, and, apparently he knows every curse word out there. (And he had every right to say it all, just as she had every right to divorce him. My only gripe is why did she take so long. No divorce should take 11 years when both parties want it! Especially since they agreed on the terms, yeesh!)

 

[Sirk]

When your son becomes 18, ask him what he knew. I suspect you didn't cover as much as you think you did.

Dad never called his soon-to-be-ex names in front of my younger sister and brother. (Their mom, not mine.) But I was standing in just the right spot in the kitchen while Dad was on a tirade to see their reaction to what he did say. He just didn't notice his voice raised to a yell.

It was the only time I heard my dad curse, and, apparently he knows every curse word out there. (And he had every right to say it all, just as she had every right to divorce him. My only gripe is why did she take so long. No divorce should take 11 years when both parties want it! Especially since they agreed on the terms, yeesh!)

He knew there was turmoil and the reason I knew is because of the way he compartmentalized his life with mom and his life with me. He was young and I'm not sure he knew why he did that but he did for sure. But I can honestly say that I have never uttered a negative word about his mom to him.

 

[coby]

He knew there was turmoil and the reason I knew is because of the way he compartmentalized his life with mom and his life with me. He was young and I'm not sure he knew why he did that but he did for sure. But I can honestly say that I have never uttered a negative word about his mom to him.

That's great. My kids were so young, they didn't even know we were married. When my son was 4 he said: didn't you first also live with daddy when you didn't have a house yourself? Yeah your dad is so sweet, he takes homeless people in his house.
They had no idea why we divorced. I said he asked for coffee with sugar in it but I put salt in it accidentally and then he said: Now it's enough! Away you! When other kids ask them they tell that joke too. When he remarried my son said: Can't you marry mom too? Now that's a bit weird cuty if he has two wives hahahahahahaha.