The problem of prayers not answered the way we want

[Depleted]

I'd really like to ask people in the Prayer Request forum this one, but it felt wrong to post it there. Day after day, I see people praying for someone's needs. Day after day, I see God not answer it like the person asked. I'm not saying God doesn't answer. Far from it. I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. I merely get frustrated, saddened, hurt, and feel terrible that the person asking for prayers won't get what he/she wants, especially when I want that for them almost as much as they want it.

How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

 

[coby]

I'd really like to ask people in the Prayer Request forum this one, but it felt wrong to post it there. Day after day, I see people praying for someone's needs. Day after day, I see God not answer it like the person asked. I'm not saying God doesn't answer. Far from it. I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. I merely get frustrated, saddened, hurt, and feel terrible that the person asking for prayers won't get what he/she wants, especially when I want that for them almost as much as they want it.

How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

Some things God may not want. I prayed for a partner, but that was not what He wanted. Well okay then, the answer is no or maybe later. You have to first pray to find out.
Sometimes it is clear that He wants it, 'cause it's in the Bible. God wants every one saved. Pray for all men. Well I prayed yesterday, why isn't my family member miraculously saved immediately? Because I have to pray some more and do warfare. Why isn't everyone saved? Some are blinded, some don't get prayed for, some really don't want to. Still it's God's will. It's in 1 Timothy.

 

[Depleted]

Some things God may not want. I prayed for a partner, but that was not what He wanted. Well okay then, the answer is no or maybe later. You have to first pray to find out.
Sometimes it is clear that He wants it, 'cause it's in the Bible. God wants every one saved. Pray for all men. Well I prayed yesterday, why isn't my family member miraculously saved immediately? Because I have to pray some more and do warfare. Why isn't everyone saved? Some are blinded, some don't get prayed for, some really don't want to. Still it's God's will. It's in 1 Timothy.

So you do think God either can't get what he wants or can't get it unless we intervene? Sorry. I really do think God gets everything he wants, but let's put this in the terms of your example.

And I prayed for Mom until the day she died, but she died unsaved. Now what?

 

[coby]

So you do think God either can't get what he wants or can't get it unless we intervene? Sorry. I really do think God gets everything he wants, but let's put this in the terms of your example.

And I prayed for Mom until the day she died, but she died unsaved. Now what?

Now the person didn't know how to stand on His promises and use the keys and bind those demons that blinded her and demand she got saved. Or she got saved in her last breath which you then don't know. Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, you and your household.
Was it coincidence that almost whole Wales got saved when that guy prayed 18 hours a day with groanings? Or did God only want it then?

 

[JeniBean]

So wouldn't the best payer to be praying for our needs, wants, healing etc. but asking that God's will be done. As his will is perfect?

We are flawed beings and if every ones prayer was answered don't you think there would be more issues in the world? How would others know GODS Mercy? It would be like saying God is a leprechaun, because I asked and it was given to me. There would not be humility, peace, praise, love, etc.

 

[Depleted]

Now the person didn't know how to stand on His promises and use the keys and bind those demons that blinded her and demand she got saved. Or she got saved in her last breath which you then don't know. Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, you and your household.
Was it coincidence that almost whole Wales got saved when that guy prayed 18 hours a day with groanings? Or did God only want it then?

Oh, okay. So I failed Mom simply because I was only a believer for three months before she died, and I didn't know all the promises, keys, or proper binding methods. I guess that answers how people can so easily tell God what to do and then don't feel like something is missing when God doesn't do it.

God couldn't help it. He was bound by our understanding. It's all our fault because we don't know.

Whew! Glad I'm not living with that old one anymore. 44 years of worthless guilt would have weighed me down so much.

 

[Depleted]

So wouldn't the best payer to be praying for our needs, wants, healing etc. but asking that God's will be done. As his will is perfect?

We are flawed beings and if every ones prayer was answered don't you think there would be more issues in the world? How would others know GODS Mercy? It would be like saying God is a leprechaun, because I asked and it was given to me. There would not be humility, peace, praise, love, etc.

Everyone's prayers are answered. My problem is I expect yes/no and God gives me left field. (Something entirely unexpected every single time. lol)

 

[coby]

Oh, okay. So I failed Mom simply because I was only a believer for three months before she died, and I didn't know all the promises, keys, or proper binding methods. I guess that answers how people can so easily tell God what to do and then don't feel like something is missing when God doesn't do it.

God couldn't help it. He was bound by our understanding. It's all our fault because we don't know.

Whew! Glad I'm not living with that old one anymore. 44 years of worthless guilt would have weighed me down so much.

There's also others who can pray but if noone cares not much happens. Is it God's will that we have no revival or our will? If noone wants to pay the price there's no revival.

 

[Depleted]

There's also others who can pray but if noone cares not much happens. Is it God's will that we have no revival or our will? If noone wants to pay the price there's no revival.

So not just me, but others now? There's a magic number? (And, actually, not only did others pray for her, they laid hands on her, so she knew we were praying for her. She thought that was sweet.)

Are you counting how many conditions you're placing on God so he can just get that will done?

 

[coby]

So not just me, but others now? There's a magic number? (And, actually, not only did others pray for her, they laid hands on her, so she knew we were praying for her. She thought that was sweet.)

Are you counting how many conditions you're placing on God so he can just get that will done?

I said if one doesn't know how to pray another can do it.
We have to let Him work through us to pray, yes. If we refuse He can ask another. If everyone refuses nothing happens. I had times I was too lazy when He said: pray. Luckily my mom is always faithful. My dad was in the hospital, I prayed the whole day. Then I thought: all those other people that don't have christian family members. Why don't you do the same for them? Not God's will, just laziness. We had prayer meetings for the lost every morning. 4 people attended or so. Noone cared. We need to do our part. If My people pray I will hear and heal their land.

 

[Dino246]

...I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. ...
How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

Please take this as me just sharing a few related thoughts...

God desires that none should perish, but that all would come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9). However, that is not what happens. Many people perish without coming to repentance, as noted in another post above. God knows sorrow and anguish first-hand; every person who dies rejecting Christ is one of His kids, (in a sense). He is sovereign, but He has also invested humans with free will so that love could be real. Free will must give space for rejection also.

I'm reading a book by Larry Crabb, "The Pressure's Off" which addresses this issue indirectly. We default to thinking that if we hold up "our" end by living right, doing our religious duty, praying, etc., that God is somehow obligated to hold up His end and do what we ask for. As Crabb puts it, this is Old Way thinking. The New Way is to bring our desires to God and abandon them there, seeking God Himself, trusting completely that He will work things out in the end. But that end is not manifest on earth, at least not on this earth.

I think a main reason why the story of Job is included in Scripture is to illustrate this. The only reason for all the suffering seems to be that God allowed Satan to test Job. Yet after the material losses, deaths, horrible sickness, and emotional abandonment of both his friends and his wife, Job was abundantly blessed. This isn't a picture of what God will do for us in this life (necessarily), but in eternity.

The way I see it is that God is sovereign, period. He is also good. The two are not mutually exclusive. There are many requests I've brought to Him which will never be granted. However, none of the things I had prayed for were guaranteed, and many of the things we continue to pray for, and not receive, are not guaranteed in this life. That's why an eternal perspective is so critical: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory which far outweighs them all" (2 Cor. 4:17). It ain't easy now, but one day it just might look like it was.

 

[integerlost]

I'd really like to ask people in the Prayer Request forum this one, but it felt wrong to post it there. Day after day, I see people praying for someone's needs. Day after day, I see God not answer it like the person asked. I'm not saying God doesn't answer. Far from it. I know God answers our prayers all the time -- just not in the manner we want him to answer us.

But then people keep praying, "And we know God this isn't what you want." Huh? If it's not what God wants, than why does it happen that way? Is God unable to get what he wants? I trust God to always get what he wants. I merely get frustrated, saddened, hurt, and feel terrible that the person asking for prayers won't get what he/she wants, especially when I want that for them almost as much as they want it.

How do people who keep praying for others handle the sorrow that comes from all that if they think God will answer as planned, but he doesn't do that again and again?

See God fulfils the desires of ones heart not the wants of ones heart. Personally I don't kneel praying or fold my hands, I just open my heart to God and let my desire speak for itself. I don't even have to use words, my heart does all the talking for me.

And all my desires have come true.

 

[20]

Is it different between the pray and dictate? Is it OP about a pray? We're very new Christians.What our first steps on this way?We have to ask Him,Lord ,let me know what I did wrong in my life.I ready to listen you.I am ready to repent.Sometimes its not a sin.Its wrong directions in our life or something else.Lord,Please, teach me to love you, and fill me with you love.Its the main keys of our relations with Him.Believe me, He is so nice and so kind.

 

[Depleted]

Let's try it this way.

Before Christmas, Kaylagirl asked us to pray for a friend's husband right after he found out he had leukemia. Everyone was praying he'd live and regain his health. He found out his third child would be a boy right before he died.

Pickle's hubby is having complications from his open heart surgery last year. Everyone prayed he'd be healed. Last I heard there was another complication.

People on here have been praying for my husband to be healed since last December. In some ways he's better. In some ways he's worse.

Happyface asked for healing for her feet and her fiance to be healed after a stroke. People have been praying for healing. Not yet.

Angela? She's been out of options for her pain since last autumn. People keep praying she'll get better. She's been struggling with her ever increasing pain for decades.

Levi's Dad is in the ICU "suffering."

There are so very many people hoping and praying for miracles, but not many are getting them. And yet, so many keep praying for the miracle. How?

How do you keep praying for a miracle when all the signs say, "Not this time?" How do you do that and not notice it's not happening? What keeps people praying for things like that when the majority of the evidence is saying "What you prayed for isn't what God had in mind?"

These are Christians I'm talking about, so it's not about redemption, not about not knowing, not about praying just right. It's facing the reality time and time again -- the vast majority of times, God doesn't give us miracles. Why keep shooting in the dark for something you hope will happen rather than face the reality that what does happen is always God's will?

And how do you keep your courage to pray for what you want, if most of what you see is painful endings? I get if a Christian dies, that person then starts spending eternity with God, but it's not the family and friend's time to do that yet and they miss that person with all the tearful sorrow imagined and beyond.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I want to know how people keep praying even then.

 

[Depleted]

See God fulfils the desires of ones heart not the wants of ones heart. Personally I don't kneel praying or fold my hands, I just open my heart to God and let my desire speak for itself. I don't even have to use words, my heart does all the talking for me.

And all my desires have come true.

Then you are very young so no one you love has died on you, you don't care if a loved one does die, or this is about as truthful as most of your posts are.

 

[JesusLives]

I look at it this way. God knows the person that is being prayed for much better than any of us on the outside looking in. He knows their heart, thoughts and if they are saved or not. We are praying sometimes selfishly because we don't want them to go and God knows that if they go now they are saved, if they stick around longer maybe something would come along that would change that so even though they go now and cause us pain ultimately we get our prayers answered because we are reunited with them where life really counts after sin is no longer and we are at peace with God living with Him forevermore...

God's ways are higher than ours and He knows the whole picture we can only see a piece of it.

King Hezekiah prayed crying on what he thought was his death bed and the prophet came back and told him God heard his prayer and he lived 15 more years.... Showed off the wealth of Israel and later the Babylonians came back and took it... Maybe he would have been better off dead 15 years earlier??? Or the children of Israel better off??? Sometimes getting the thing we want isn't the best way for the whole picture...the one God knows about and we don't...

 

[JesusLives]

So you do think God either can't get what he wants or can't get it unless we intervene? Sorry. I really do think God gets everything he wants, but let's put this in the terms of your example.

And I prayed for Mom until the day she died, but she died unsaved. Now what?

You keep hope. No one knows what was the persons last thoughts before they died. My mother died also and I am not sure if she was saved or not, but I am not going to say she wasn't saved as I don't know her inner most thoughts and if she talked to God or not so I personally opt for hope as I found her dead on the floor by the bed was she praying before she died? I don't know.

 

[JesusLives]

When it's all going wrong why continue to pray?....One reason is because it brings you closer to God. God always does what is best for the person. You say that person wasn't saved... we don't really know that for sure because unlike George Bush we aren't the decider God is.... Before God/Jesus comes back many will be laid to rest not to have to go through the time of trouble such as never was mentioned in Revelation. I know many believe in a rapture taken out beforehand, but the Israelites weren't raptured out of their 10 plagues God went through them with those people and He will go through them with us, but many people will die as the 7 last plagues fall and in mercy God puts down some of His people before this awful time begins.

So many of us believe that we are living in the last days that at any moment Jesus could come, just by looking at the terrible things that are happening in the world, so to some of us unanswered prayer might look like a bad thing, but it just might be God's mercy for his people that some of them are laid to rest and won't have to go through what is coming. Which is the end of this world as we know it.

So I remain hopeful even when things look bad and some prayers aren't answered the way I would like them to be answered. I still miss my friend Kathy so much and I tell God so often... My parents of which I am unsure of their salvation I leave in God's hands and I hope I will see them again someday.

But I believe that God gives each individual opportunities to get to know Him and I trust that each one has that chance and after all it is an individual choice to choose God or not to we each make that choice. I hope we make the right one...for those who have gone before and those who follow and I know that God doesn't want anyone to perish but He won't force anyone to choose Him.... In the meantime I continue to pray mainly because God sees the whole picture and I trust Him.

 

[coby]

You keep hope. No one knows what was the persons last thoughts before they died. My mother died also and I am not sure if she was saved or not, but I am not going to say she wasn't saved as I don't know her inner most thoughts and if she talked to God or not so I personally opt for hope as I found her dead on the floor by the bed was she praying before she died? I don't know.

I saw that testimony from Ian McCormack. He was an atheist. God said to his mother: your son Ian is nearly dead. Pray for him now. He met God just before he died and He taught him to pray the Our Father. He went to heaven but chose to return to tell his mother, because she would have thought he had gone to hell.
Very inspiring, since I saw it I pray for the lost. My granddad, antitheist, with the funeral my dad said: Did he get to heaven? I'd be surprised. I hope so said my mom. I said: Hello! I have prayed for him for 20 years, not for nothing!!! Of course he is in heaven! Night before he died God said: You have the keys. Use them. Tomorrow it will be too late.
Another guy, God told me to pray for someone from the office who was about to die, I thought someone's grandmother maybe, so I just prayed a few hours. Next day I heard he killed himself. He was an atheist. So one girl said: oh he's in heaven. I said nothing. I thought well I sure hope but don't think so.
Then 2 years later I got a dream. I had blocked him out of my thoughts. He came to the office brand new clothes, so happy. Told us he was a christian now for 2 years. I held his hand and cried and said: Why didn't anybody tell me? They said you were dead. I woke up, had to look up when he died and it was exactly 2 years ago. I saw my granddad too in a dream later.
One guy here, atheist, homosexual politician got shot. I felt so guilty. I hadn't prayed. Later heard an evangelist. He said: God told me to pray for him. I prayed 4 hours and then I received that it was good. Turned on the tv and saw he had been shot.

 

[coby]

Let's try it this way.

Before Christmas, Kaylagirl asked us to pray for a friend's husband right after he found out he had leukemia. Everyone was praying he'd live and regain his health. He found out his third child would be a boy right before he died.

Pickle's hubby is having complications from his open heart surgery last year. Everyone prayed he'd be healed. Last I heard there was another complication.

People on here have been praying for my husband to be healed since last December. In some ways he's better. In some ways he's worse.

Happyface asked for healing for her feet and her fiance to be healed after a stroke. People have been praying for healing. Not yet.

Angela? She's been out of options for her pain since last autumn. People keep praying she'll get better. She's been struggling with her ever increasing pain for decades.

Levi's Dad is in the ICU "suffering."

There are so very many people hoping and praying for miracles, but not many are getting them. And yet, so many keep praying for the miracle. How?

How do you keep praying for a miracle when all the signs say, "Not this time?" How do you do that and not notice it's not happening? What keeps people praying for things like that when the majority of the evidence is saying "What you prayed for isn't what God had in mind?"

These are Christians I'm talking about, so it's not about redemption, not about not knowing, not about praying just right. It's facing the reality time and time again -- the vast majority of times, God doesn't give us miracles. Why keep shooting in the dark for something you hope will happen rather than face the reality that what does happen is always God's will?

And how do you keep your courage to pray for what you want, if most of what you see is painful endings? I get if a Christian dies, that person then starts spending eternity with God, but it's not the family and friend's time to do that yet and they miss that person with all the tearful sorrow imagined and beyond.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I want to know how people keep praying even then.

I just keep praying. With my father in law they had already arranged the funeral but I refused to give up, even tore Scriptures out of their context. It was better for him. He wanted to go to heaven. Then I just let go. Another guy, when they had cremated him I thought: okay I don't have faith to bring the ashes to life. I can stop now. They can't say I didn't try.