Bad Housekeeper,Grounds for Divorce?

[Sirk]

When I was a kid I just got yelled at to clean so it became a negative thing. With my son I make it fun and then reward him with praise when he is helpful. The other morning I made him oatmeal for breakfast and he was a good boy and put his bowl in the sink so I told him thank you. When we got home I did the dishes and noticed that the oatmeal left in the bowl was caked on so I asked him if he could scrape the leftovers on the can and put water in the bowl. This morning he did exactly as I asked. I praised him and said wow bud....you make daddy proud that you do things like that to help.

I rarely have to ask him to do things more than once. He is so conscientious and such a team player.

 

[coby2]

When I was a kid I just got yelled at to clean so it became a negative thing. With my son I make it fun and then reward him with praise when he is helpful. The other morning I made him oatmeal for breakfast and he was a good boy and put his bowl in the sink so I told him thank you. When we got home I did the dishes and noticed that the oatmeal left in the bowl was caked on so I asked him if he could scrape the leftovers on the can and put water in the bowl. This morning he did exactly as I asked. I praised him and said wow bud....you make daddy proud that you do things like that to help.

I rarely have to ask him to do things more than once. He is so conscientious and such a team player.

That's great and that works much better. I also always got yelled at. You just only learn to clean out of fear if an authority figure is around and it spoils the fun and makes you hate cleaning.

 

[Miri]

1. Grits in America.

So imagine what I was picturing folks bringing into your house. (Good deal -- BYOB -- bring your own breakfast.)

2. I have to clean when someone is coming over. I know what I consider clean, they still consider slob, but think what' they'd see if I didn't. Everyone keeps asking me, how I do what I do every day. I tell the truth, "I can't." Today I had to take off for my Sabbath rest, and "taking off" includes getting John an absentee ballot for our primary elections in two weeks (this is the year it wasn't already decided before PA does vote? Furst time since I was eight. Yeesh), visiting John early, not staying as long as I like to, and rushing home because I ordered three things from Amazon. (Amazon. Technically, I ordered four things, but two were the same pair of pants for John in different colors. Two packages have come in so far, still waiting for the two pants, and the last time they came in separate packages. I miss the days when the mail only came once a day. lol) Another package is coming sometime this week, (the nicotine lozenges and patches), but I don't know when. And I had to talk to his doctor to find out how to get him dentures. (My plan of having our dentist see him didn't work.) Meanwhile it's 5:15, and I need a shower, would prefer one before dinner, but I have to wait for the 1-2 more packages that may or may not come, and I should be making dinner soon.

This is my day off, because yesterday I had to drive into Center City Philly (which is major congestion), park my car in an $8 per half hour parking lot to replace a prescription my pain specialist won't mail to me, all to find out he just left for a one-hour lunch, then go across town (all right smack in the most congested part of the city lol) to see John, after getting a two loads of wash in during the morning and doing dishes, then stop at a store to find out they didn't sell what I needed, park a block away, and then squeeze in calling John to tell him what's on TV before dinner.

All that, and I'd much rather have that day 7 days a week then have to clean the house because someone is going to make it dirty like you go through. I'd be tempted to work out a plan that the carers and medical professionals visit your aunt by going to the neighbor's house and calling it in. I hate chores that much! lol I can laugh a lot, but I can't smile as much as you have to! (I have to smile at the nurses at the nurse station while walking by and my big hope is they're too busy to notice I'm walking by. Residents I like enough to joke with, but the nurses always look so scoldy and busy. They're not usually scolding, but they scowl often.)

Whats your grit thingy? It looks like egg is it?

The careers can bring me breakfast any day - I wish. Lol

Here is the contents of the dust pan (grit etc) from first thing this morning
before the carers came. I sweep the front door mat every morning, so
this is just from the visits yesterday and only from the shoes of the
person who remembers to actually wipe her feet. This and more gets
walked around the house every day by the others.

I cut the front grass a couple of days ago, weeded, dug out some
old plants but despite my best efforts to sweep the path that grass
just gets everywhere. Oh I didn't sweep up the teaspoon that was
just for scale.

Do I sound obsessed with cleaning - yes I probably do but see what
all these visitors have turned me into. Lol

I recall I was the same at hospital smiley trying to get all the staff on side.
Really wanted to march up to them and give them a kick up the backside,
but just smiled and hoped they would be nice to me and my aunt.

 

[missy2014]

I nearly tried grits from the usa foods store but Willie T was yeh maybe not....

 

[coby2]

Hi a few fun bits of information.

Ive always tried to keep on top of things cleaning wise to a greater or lesser
degree. Clearing up after myself to cut down on a massive
clean up later.

However...... (here is the fun bit lol) since my aunt came out of hospital I seem to spend
half my life washing cleaning, mopping etc.

What with two Carer's coming in twice a day, that's 8 extra shoes each day coming and
going bringing in grit, grass, mud etc. One of them is only 20 you won't believe the number
of times I have had to remind her to wipe her feet, still do even after 3 months of her
visiting. The kitchen floor which only use to need mopping maybe once a week, now needs
mopping 3 times a week.


Oh then there is all of those medical visitors, nurses, physios, community matron, chiropodist,
Doctors. During the first 6 weeks of her coming home we had nearly 20 medical visits!

currently we are still averaging about 1 or 2 a week. That's lots more extra foot fall and
also the drive to keep things prim and proper for the medical community.

Plus there is the need to keep on top of all the extra washing and drying to
due to Carer's using lots more extra towels, cloths etc.

Just have to grin and bear it. (Or in your case it might be grin and teddy bear it).
My grin is so fixed in place now I'm seriously starting to resemble the Cheshire Cat.

But oh bliss my own bedroom is my own, no one else goes in there so I can be a
slob and chill .... Bliss. Lol


View attachment 147599

Put a sign in front of your house: SHOES OFF!!!
Oh lol my ex would get so mad if everything was clean and some workman had to come in with those filthy shoes bam bam bam, everything full with mud LOL. I knew one couple, the husband was just like that and his wife just cleaned up all the time and her older kids too and no annoyance whatsoever. Maybe she liked the uselessness of it, my.

 

[SMcDaniel001]

To the OP, if you'd divorce your wife over being a bad housekeeper.................. you really should be ashamed of yourself. There are a lot of people with SERIOUS relationship issues. There are spouses that are having to deal with a partner that is a deeply flawed individual. But because the little wifey doesn't keep a clean enough house for you.............. you should probably take a really good look in the mirror. My guess is you're not a perfect spouse yourself.

 

[kaylagrl]

To the OP, if you'd divorce your wife over being a bad housekeeper.................. you really should be ashamed of yourself. There are a lot of people with SERIOUS relationship issues. There are spouses that are having to deal with a partner that is a deeply flawed individual. But because the little wifey doesn't keep a clean enough house for you.............. you should probably take a really good look in the mirror. My guess is you're not a perfect spouse yourself.

Just so you understand the first post was about an article and how they husband was feeling. I was sharing my views about what I thought about that husband.

 

[Depleted]

She stopped him? That´s stupid.
If I don´t care and don´t clean here myself, they throw everything everywhere, but if I clean up they get inspired and want to do it too. They cleaned my windows a few times. Mom, mom, may we clean the windows? Yeah sure. I never clean those things. Or the kitchen cupboards. Please? The idea wouldn´t enter my mind to do that. Sure, no problem! They once, when they were smaller and the dishwasher was broke, were fighting over who could wash the dishes. No problem with me. They love to help my mother in the garden.

Mom tried to convince me that cleaning my tea party dishes was "playing house." I didn't buy it for a moment. I knew she just wanted me to wash them so she didn't have to. But I did wash them, because I knew her motive and wanted to help her.

 

[Depleted]

That's great and that works much better. I also always got yelled at. You just only learn to clean out of fear if an authority figure is around and it spoils the fun and makes you hate cleaning.

I didn't get yelled at. I also didn't have to do many chores as a kid. Making my bed was about it, although I volunteered to dry dishes after dinner with Mom.

I still hate doing chores.

It's funny to see how four adults came away completely opposite on chores when we grew up the same way. My oldest and younger brother are very into keeping a clean house. My older brother opened the window over his toad aquarium to let bugs get attracted to the light, get stunned and fall in with the frogs for free food, yet half of them died and fell below the aquarium. (About 4 inches of bug carcasses below that aquarium.) And he raised rats for his boa and caiman, who roamed free around his house, so he didn't even mind dead rats in his walls and the smell when they decayed. And me? I do what I have to and don't do what I don't have to.

All four raised in the same house. lol

 

[Depleted]

Whats your grit thingy? It looks like egg is it?

The careers can bring me breakfast any day - I wish. Lol

Here is the contents of the dust pan (grit etc) from first thing this morning
before the carers came. I sweep the front door mat every morning, so
this is just from the visits yesterday and only from the shoes of the
person who remembers to actually wipe her feet. This and more gets
walked around the house every day by the others.

I cut the front grass a couple of days ago, weeded, dug out some
old plants but despite my best efforts to sweep the path that grass
just gets everywhere. Oh I didn't sweep up the teaspoon that was
just for scale.

Do I sound obsessed with cleaning - yes I probably do but see what
all these visitors have turned me into. Lol

I recall I was the same at hospital smiley trying to get all the staff on side.
Really wanted to march up to them and give them a kick up the backside,
but just smiled and hoped they would be nice to me and my aunt.

View attachment 147620

Grits. When you eat corn on the cob, have you ever noticed there is a little something inside the kernel? It feels and tastes like a miniature kernel. That's the grit.

As for what in your dust pan? Really? You sweep for that little? I wait until I can get a good pan full of dirt off the floor. (Sadly, not kidding. lol) But, I would lean over to pick up that dead grass head up off the floor. (Then again, that's why my property is on concrete. No grass to do that very thing AND insist on getting mowed. Not even! lol)

Gack! Time to go to the dentist. Oh joy!

 

[coby2]

I didn't get yelled at. I also didn't have to do many chores as a kid. Making my bed was about it, although I volunteered to dry dishes after dinner with Mom.

I still hate doing chores.

It's funny to see how four adults came away completely opposite on chores when we grew up the same way. My oldest and younger brother are very into keeping a clean house. My older brother opened the window over his toad aquarium to let bugs get attracted to the light, get stunned and fall in with the frogs for free food, yet half of them died and fell below the aquarium. (About 4 inches of bug carcasses below that aquarium.) And he raised rats for his boa and caiman, who roamed free around his house, so he didn't even mind dead rats in his walls and the smell when they decayed. And me? I do what I have to and don't do what I don't have to.

All four raised in the same house. lol

Yes it's more about character. My brother is the neatest and we all never had to do anything but keep our own room clean.

 

[coby2]

My brother still lives with my parents. He never had to do anything, but now that they're old he cleans everything up for them and fixes everything.

 

[Depleted]

Just so you understand the first post was about an article and how they husband was feeling. I was sharing my views about what I thought about that husband.

Not to mention, you'd have another bigger problem if you wanted to divorce your wife. (Just curious. Would your husband approve or disapprove of you divorcing your wife? lol)

 

[coby2]

Not to mention, you'd have another bigger problem if you wanted to divorce your wife. (Just curious. Would your husband approve or disapprove of you divorcing your wife? lol)

It's never good enough with Kaylagirl. She's just so demanding. Not clean enough? Off you go.
LOL that was funny.