So I have been dating this guy for about 2 weeks now, and we have talked everyday. I really like him! We have seen each other a hand full of times now. He likes my parents. I absolutely love his. However, he acts kinda distant toward me. Like for example he isn't like most men I have dated. He doesn't sit and put his arm around me, or even on my knee. He has only held my hand once. He doesn't open doors for me( not that he has too, but I am a little old fashioned). One of the biggest things that threw me off was tonight when he was leaving I followed him out to his truck, and he just starts walking away. So I just yelled bye in kinda of an " are you gonna hug or not tone" and turns around to hug and I lead in to kiss him and he literally turn away form it and kisses me on the cheek. It kinda hurt my feelings. I don't know how to read this guy. Does he like me or not? He was the one after all that started talking to me first. He asked me out. I don't know if I'm exspecting stuff to soon or what? Any thoughts?
relationship advise
- Thread starter Acr96
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U
Could be that he thinks it's too soon.
Or it could be that he's just not that kind of person in general. Some people are not very affectionate by nature or upbringing.
And it is possible that, for some reason, he's lost interest.
Can't really give a definitive answer as no one here actually knows him personally. But those are the three possibilities.
Or it could be that he's just not that kind of person in general. Some people are not very affectionate by nature or upbringing.
And it is possible that, for some reason, he's lost interest.
Can't really give a definitive answer as no one here actually knows him personally. But those are the three possibilities.
Hi ,
Some men are not very wellcoming they don't show affection very well and could have been hurt along the way plus don't understand women well enough to know what to do while around women ,
I would ask his Mom and Dad concerning this , as that could be an issue for you both and long term ,
Plus you don't know any thing about each other a few times meeting and maybe he,s not sure of himself at this stage ,
You,v not spent time talking with each other and your feeling,s to wards each other ,
I see two very different people maybe different backgrounds ,
If you both cant talk about things now then what about later maybe also he may not be able to express himself so easerly .
...noeleena...
Some men are not very wellcoming they don't show affection very well and could have been hurt along the way plus don't understand women well enough to know what to do while around women ,
I would ask his Mom and Dad concerning this , as that could be an issue for you both and long term ,
Plus you don't know any thing about each other a few times meeting and maybe he,s not sure of himself at this stage ,
You,v not spent time talking with each other and your feeling,s to wards each other ,
I see two very different people maybe different backgrounds ,
If you both cant talk about things now then what about later maybe also he may not be able to express himself so easerly .
...noeleena...
C
A guy with a truck and you expect him to hold doors open for you?
Don't think that's gonna happen. Most guys here well all except a few unicorns are like that. I don't care. Just don't expect it to change. No hand on your knee? No hugging? Great! I'd think: this one is decent. Anyways, just ask him. The pastor I had years ago and who gave us relationship advice said he couldn't even hold hands with his wife when they weren't married. I don't think he's just uninterested, unless he's really shy, but why would he go out with you if he's not interested?
Don't think that's gonna happen. Most guys here well all except a few unicorns are like that. I don't care. Just don't expect it to change. No hand on your knee? No hugging? Great! I'd think: this one is decent. Anyways, just ask him. The pastor I had years ago and who gave us relationship advice said he couldn't even hold hands with his wife when they weren't married. I don't think he's just uninterested, unless he's really shy, but why would he go out with you if he's not interested?
Personally I like to take time to develop feelings, because a lot of it is rushed when one person has needs and expectations that have nothing to do with the reality of the relationship. You know, if a person comes to the relationship with an idealization or a fantasy that they want to put the relationship into to fulfill? In my experience, it happens sometimes and then the woman rejects the man when he doesn't fulfill those expectations. It's insincere, it's about what the woman wants him to be and what she wants him to feel, not about who the man really is or what he really feels.
I hope you don't take that personally, I don't know how much that might apply to your situation. Another way of looking at it is, love is like a fire and some people would prefer to take a long time and develop a steady flame instead of setting off a fireworks display that will sputter out as fast as it flared up.
I guess I just don't understand wondering about this when it's only 2 weeks in. Perhaps you'd be more satisfied just taking time and let things happen naturally?
I hope you don't take that personally, I don't know how much that might apply to your situation. Another way of looking at it is, love is like a fire and some people would prefer to take a long time and develop a steady flame instead of setting off a fireworks display that will sputter out as fast as it flared up.
I guess I just don't understand wondering about this when it's only 2 weeks in. Perhaps you'd be more satisfied just taking time and let things happen naturally?
He doesn't open doors for you? Big deal, no one opens doors for me either.. He's acting distant toward you. Could be he's not that deep into you. And why do you want his hand on your knee? So he can be tempted to slide it up your leg? He kissed you on the cheek instead of accepting a kiss from you. Sounds like a gentleman to me. 
Personally, I think you're expecting too much, too soon. He's NOT required to hug you when he leaves. He doesn't even have to say bye, if he doesn't want to. YOU seem to be the aggressor here, and HE is the one trying to keep YOUR behavior (and his) under control. So stop making it hard for both of you. Stop expecting him to do anything for you. Don't expect him to touch your knee or hold your hand. Stop expecting him to kiss you. You're placing conditions on him that he obviously feels uncomfortable with and maybe THAT'S why he is distant toward you. Some guys don't like aggressive girls who expect alot on the first date or two.
Personally, I think you're expecting too much, too soon. He's NOT required to hug you when he leaves. He doesn't even have to say bye, if he doesn't want to. YOU seem to be the aggressor here, and HE is the one trying to keep YOUR behavior (and his) under control. So stop making it hard for both of you. Stop expecting him to do anything for you. Don't expect him to touch your knee or hold your hand. Stop expecting him to kiss you. You're placing conditions on him that he obviously feels uncomfortable with and maybe THAT'S why he is distant toward you. Some guys don't like aggressive girls who expect alot on the first date or two.
Don't talk to his parents about it like the other poster suggested. A two week relationship don't give you that kind of access to his parents. Young dudes ain't brought up to open doors these days. I open doors for everyone in proximity, young, old, male, female, but that's where I'm from. You could be complaining about dudes not tipping their hats to you as they pass, but I haven't seen men under 85 do that in a bit. As far as him not touching your knee and kissing you on your mouth, maybe he hasn't been with girls like that before. You will have plenty of time to do that stuff with your husband. If he still sees you and does stuff with you, he is very much into you. I'd let him take the lead. If you want a douche bag all up in your under carriage, go ahead and move on.
My two cents always for free.
My two cents always for free.
L
It's only been 2 weeks, just take your time and continue to know each other. I think it's wise on his part to guard his heart.
I always advise singles in my group to take things slowly, get to know the person in a group setting and then spend some time alone, and be slow to do the hand holding, hugging and kissing. You don't want to invest emotionally too soon in a new relationship.
I always advise singles in my group to take things slowly, get to know the person in a group setting and then spend some time alone, and be slow to do the hand holding, hugging and kissing. You don't want to invest emotionally too soon in a new relationship.
we tend to assume too quickly without knowing all the details. it has been 2 weeks. maybe he's taking things slowly to get to know you better. maybe he's protecting both of you by not being physically affectionate just yet. maybe he has been hurt in the past by moving too quickly. are you guys officially a couple? (some don't want to kiss until it's official) each person moves at his/her pace. i believe relationships shouldn't be rushed (they shouldn't drag either lol).
the beginning of a relationship is new and exciting! too often we fall in love with that.
the beginning of a relationship is new and exciting! too often we fall in love with that.
OP:
Have you talked to him regarding his behavior towards you?
Have you talked to him regarding the dating relationship the two of you have?
Does he feel the same way regarding your dating relationship that you do?
Are the two of you on the same page regarding your dating relationship?
Upfront communication is important.
Have you talked to him regarding his behavior towards you?
Have you talked to him regarding the dating relationship the two of you have?
Does he feel the same way regarding your dating relationship that you do?
Are the two of you on the same page regarding your dating relationship?
Upfront communication is important.
Hes seems to definitely be keeping his distance from you for a reason. There was an earlier comment about him possibly having been hurt in the past. From personal experience, I will say, from what you describe, this is the most likely. He is keeping walls up. If he doesn't get attached, he can leave at a moments notice and not be hurt. You should ask him about this because it could end up damaging the relationship. He probably wont fully open up to you for a while. Be patient with him or end it now.
Otherwise, you may get a call one day saying he is done. Sounds like the hurt is recent.
DISCLAIMER ( I could be wrong )
Otherwise, you may get a call one day saying he is done. Sounds like the hurt is recent.
DISCLAIMER ( I could be wrong )