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C
I never asked anything. I didn't even speak on most dates. Just played the radio. And eat. A few woman even told me it was the best date they ever had. 
I never ask anything. Don't have to. Within a day I know what a monster their ex was hahahahahahaha.
If I were a single man dating now, but knew everything I know about life and marriage, I would ask a woman I dated lots of questions, direct the conversation to cover certain topics. But when I was single, back when I was young, I wasn't nearly that meticulous or detailed. Actually, I did have a fair amount of criteria. Looking back over a journal, I see I was getting some answers when I dated the woman I married and I had reasonably good criteria for a young man.
But I didn't know how many children I wanted to have, and didn't ask the woman I would marry. She wanted to have children. That was enough for me.
I wouldn't be too hard on the guy because he isn't a good interviewer. Maybe he thinks he'll learn enough about you through osmosis, or through organic conversation without having to probe and pry too much. He may not know the questions to ask. That is the case with a lot of younger men. If you haven't been married, you may not know the questions to ask. If you are young, you may not know the questions to ask. That's the irony.
I think it is better to ask questions, especially about deal breakers, before the relationship goes on too long. That way, if you hit a deal-breaker, you break off the relationship before either party gets too hurt or too invested.
But I didn't know how many children I wanted to have, and didn't ask the woman I would marry. She wanted to have children. That was enough for me.
I wouldn't be too hard on the guy because he isn't a good interviewer. Maybe he thinks he'll learn enough about you through osmosis, or through organic conversation without having to probe and pry too much. He may not know the questions to ask. That is the case with a lot of younger men. If you haven't been married, you may not know the questions to ask. If you are young, you may not know the questions to ask. That's the irony.
I think it is better to ask questions, especially about deal breakers, before the relationship goes on too long. That way, if you hit a deal-breaker, you break off the relationship before either party gets too hurt or too invested.
I would be more interested in how a boyfriend related to the world around him. Does he easily get angry when held up in traffic? How does he get along with his family? Is he courteous to people? Is he considerate? Does he have a sense of humor? And especially, how does he relate to Christ?
All this would take preference to him asking me questions about myself. After 50 years of marriage, I really don't remember my husband asking any questions about how I felt about things, etc. But all the above things were there, even though he was more of a silent type unless it was about his interests. Eventually you learn that probably most men live more "in the moment" with you and don't need to know all those other things. What they need is who you are and that is always evident in the way you act towards them and others.
All this would take preference to him asking me questions about myself. After 50 years of marriage, I really don't remember my husband asking any questions about how I felt about things, etc. But all the above things were there, even though he was more of a silent type unless it was about his interests. Eventually you learn that probably most men live more "in the moment" with you and don't need to know all those other things. What they need is who you are and that is always evident in the way you act towards them and others.
C
I ask nothing and guys that are divorced don't want to make the same mistake so they ask a total stranger anything. I didn't care but later I thought: no thanks. Oh and the way they ask thinking they're so fantastic themselves, looking down on you in arrogance 'I don't want a nutcase' makes me tell them all the truth from years ago and act like a total nutcase so they run away screaming LOL.
Only thing I need to know is if he has God first and prays and can keep his hands with him and if he's not arrogant. Demand lists? Bye!
Having to know your whole past shows me they have no faith that God changes people.
Only thing I need to know is if he has God first and prays and can keep his hands with him and if he's not arrogant. Demand lists? Bye!
Having to know your whole past shows me they have no faith that God changes people.
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This is what I actually said:
Standing on her own two feet will come into play when she bunt kicks him to the curb for being emotionally unavailableA relationship(healthy one) is about finding a connection and nurturing that connection on a day to day basis. That never stops!
You took my words and twisted them. I created a scenario IFf he was emotionally unavailable. I didnt TELL HER to do anything.I hope that this puts your accusations to rest. It really isnt worth all the bickering is it? Truce!!!
Standing on her own two feet will come into play when she bunt kicks him to the curb for being emotionally unavailable
A relationship(healthy one) is about finding a connection and nurturing that connection on a day to day basis. That never stops! You took my words and twisted them. I created a scenario IFf he was emotionally unavailable. I didnt TELL HER to do anything.I hope that this puts your accusations to rest. It really isnt worth all the bickering is it? Truce!!!
D
Seriously? We've been married for over 35 years and the only indepth question we ask is, "What are you thinking?"
Outside of that, we keep telling each other what we want the other to know, so why ask questions? lol
On our first date, he gave me a two-hour version of his story and I gave him a one hour version of my story. (Equally detailed, but he is 9 years older than I am and he was married before, so his story took longer.) I knew I wanted to marry him before we got out of the car and he never asked me anything past "Would you like to see The Muppet Movie?" and "What would you like to order?"
It really is all about what you're willing to share, but that doesn't require asking questions. Our relationship isn't built on "What's your favorite color?" (Besides, we both told each other before either one of us asked. lol)
Outside of that, we keep telling each other what we want the other to know, so why ask questions? lol
On our first date, he gave me a two-hour version of his story and I gave him a one hour version of my story. (Equally detailed, but he is 9 years older than I am and he was married before, so his story took longer.) I knew I wanted to marry him before we got out of the car and he never asked me anything past "Would you like to see The Muppet Movie?" and "What would you like to order?"
It really is all about what you're willing to share, but that doesn't require asking questions. Our relationship isn't built on "What's your favorite color?" (Besides, we both told each other before either one of us asked. lol)
D
And being quiet, mild-mannered, unopinionated me, I'd say, "Sure. And Lorena Bobbitt let me have her knife, since she doesn't need it any more."
I think that's probably why I wouldn't date online. It's too easy to ask stupid questions like that, people can pretend to be whoever they want to be, and body language is so much easier to figure out in a half-date situation. (I walked out halfway through dates often when I was single. Usually because of that. They didn't want to pay for a prostitute, so they thought a soda was enough to give me before sex. Probably would have saved a lot of time if the conversation was more like, "Would you like to go out for a soda?" "Sounds great, but I'm not putting out for you.")
Then again, if the Lorena Bobbitt joke got him laughing, but still interested, I think I'd like that guy enough to date him, (assuming I were still single, of course.) John would have busted a gut over that one -- and so, I'd marry him again.
I think that's probably why I wouldn't date online. It's too easy to ask stupid questions like that, people can pretend to be whoever they want to be, and body language is so much easier to figure out in a half-date situation. (I walked out halfway through dates often when I was single. Usually because of that. They didn't want to pay for a prostitute, so they thought a soda was enough to give me before sex. Probably would have saved a lot of time if the conversation was more like, "Would you like to go out for a soda?" "Sounds great, but I'm not putting out for you."
)Then again, if the Lorena Bobbitt joke got him laughing, but still interested, I think I'd like that guy enough to date him, (assuming I were still single, of course.) John would have busted a gut over that one -- and so, I'd marry him again.