Newlywed Divorce

[WarriorForChrist]

there is no denying it and you think she does not know that?

the next time you mess up, do you suppose Jesus will whack you with a big family edition size, genealogies included, gold leaf edition of the Bible?

God grieves over situations like this and folks somehow have it in their churched to death heads that the person needs a d--- good whooping behind the barn

what kind of Christianity is so (delete) offended all the time? and I know you get that language Utah...so it's there for emphasis

don't tell me how holy you all are..put down your stones...my God...can't you all see what is going on in these forums and every other Christian forum?

and now my standard response...whatever

No one is throwing stones. I welcome other believers reminding me of certain sins. I use to have anger issues and had support from fellow Christians to help me stay in check. Just read what Paul said to the churches of his time. He told them the truth and didn't sugar coat anything. He did it out of love so they wouldn't keep making the same mistakes. You are way out of line with your attack on us.

 

[ember]

This is not a "hug it out" situation here, Ember. We are not ganging up on anyone. We told her the truth. Sugar coating doesnt help.

ok...go to it...but remember, you will bare the same when the time comes...Jesus did not hug the woman caught in adultery either...but He did ask where her accusers were and yes He did say go and sin no more...have you had your sins forgiven?

can you not bear another's sin in prayer?

and people wonder why the church makes no impact

take JosephsDreams advice

 

[blue_ladybug]

It IS possible to both tell her truth, AND pray for her.

 

[hoss2576]

While this situation is hard to deal with, I am more concerned with your overall view of who God is. I might be wrong, but you seem to have a belief that everything that happens is God's will. Not to shock anyone, but that to me is a more dangerous line of thought than your husband wanting a divorce. That line of thinking is also a way to justify every sin you commit. One thing I think this thread lacked, especially on your part, were any scriptural references to support your thinking.

Absolutely marriage is sacred, but in all honesty, I am surprised he is not trying for annulment and not divorce given the short time. It is a horrible situation all around.

 

[ember]

It IS possible to both tell her truth, AND pray for her.

absolutely....but no room for self-righteousness

general observation...I have not read the entire thread and I don't have to...the op was enough...it's heartbreaking

if I didn't know my own sins and what I have been forgiven WHILE knowing the truth

anyhow....gotta go do stuff...hugs blue

 

[WarriorForChrist]

ok...go to it...but remember, you will bare the same when the time comes...Jesus did not hug the woman caught in adultery either...but He did ask where her accusers were and yes He did say go and sin no more...have you had your sins forgiven?

can you not bear another's sin in prayer?

and people wonder why the church makes no impact

take JosephsDreams advice

The church makes no impact because half the church aren't true believers. I am a sinner and believe me I have done everything in my life half backwards and stayed in sin. What woke me up was another Christian looking me straight in the face and saying I was wrong and a sinner. Hearing those words dropped me to my knees in repentance. Sinning against the Lord should bring everyone of us to our knees. Most Christians go around life saying "oh well i'm only human and God will forgive me." There is no conviction or no remorse whatsoever in them.

When I scold my son I am a bit forceful but he understands what he did was wrong. Then I remind him that I love him and will always love him. I didn't scold him out of hate but out of love because i wanted him to know he was wrong and to never do it again.

 

[Utah]

there is no denying it and you think she does not know that?

the next time you mess up, do you suppose Jesus will whack you with a big family edition size, genealogies included, gold leaf edition of the Bible?

God grieves over situations like this and folks somehow have it in their churched to death heads that the person needs a d--- good whooping behind the barn

what kind of Christianity is so (delete) offended all the time? and I know you get that language Utah...so it's there for emphasis

don't tell me how holy you all are..put down your stones...my God...can't you all see what is going on in these forums and every other Christian forum?

and now my standard response...whatever

Your words would hold water if you normally presented yourself in a gentle manner, but you're as aggressive and opinionated as they come. You experienced a similar situation as the OP and have a soft spot for her and now everyone is supposed to walk on eggshells because you say so. Put your money where your mouth is and soften your overall tone around here and maybe you'll be respected when asking others to take a chill.

 

[Born_Again]

ok...go to it...but remember, you will bare the same when the time comes...Jesus did not hug the woman caught in adultery either...but He did ask where her accusers were and yes He did say go and sin no more...have you had your sins forgiven?

can you not bear another's sin in prayer?

and people wonder why the church makes no impact

take JosephsDreams advice

I have my own past I have dealt with. But at no point did I look for someone else to justify my mistakes, nor did I put them on someone else.

Honestly, ember. What did you expect us to do? "awwww, thats terrible. Go and sin no more" Forgiveness is between her and God. How can one learn from their mistakes if they dont first know what the mistakes were?

So often we respond with "You should pray" and give no sound advice. Prayer alone does not always fix things. You have to own your mistakes otherwise, you dont learn and make them again. When your parents pointed out your mistakes did you yell at them and say "mom, dad, you are not being very Christian"?

 

[Depleted]

I have taken numerous pregnancy test and all have come back positive (different brands btw). We got pregnant the first time we were ever intimate which was 2 weeks before we gother married. So I'm not guessing here. I'm actually pregnant. I have a scheduled doctors appointment to get my prenatal care started. Again, we have known each other for three weeks and I missed my period and tested positive on day 12 of missed period. I was celibate before that so unless Jesus is coming back through me, he is the father. I didn't think I could even get pregnant only 4 days before my period should have started but here I am with child, lol..

Okay, so here's the thing. You had sex the first time you met the guy and got married the second time with the prerequisite that you don't believe in divorces?

This is like Bill Clinton saying he never had "sexual relationships with that woman." Anyone over 25 knows that just because they didn't have penetration doesn't mean they didn't have sex, so no one bought that one, but naive kids.

In like kind, just because the guy was getting sex from you doesn't mean he cared about your no-divorce policy. If you're going to have a no divorce policy, you should also have a policy before marriage. The way to avoid divorce is to think out who you're planning on marrying.

Obviously, in so many ways, you did not. Now he wants a divorce. You cannot make him not want a divorce. The best you get out of that is dusty papers in your top drawer 30 years from now and you're still without him and unmarried. Technically, you're not divorced... but you're not married either.

I really do feel bad you're stuck in this position, but you really are stuck in this position. You have no choice but to get the divorce, rethink some of your choices, and either raise that child to think things out better or give him/her up for adoption.

There is no other choice out of this. What's done is done and you have to pick up the pieces for the child's sake.

 

[Depleted]

They asked us nothing. They just wanted the money.

They asked us for blood tests, so, yeah, I know how little the marriage licenses people care about the couple's decision.

 

[Depleted]

Good point. It's not like I intentionally got pregnant nor was I even in my fertile window according to my period tracker app. Lesson learned! And he and I did talk extensively and he agreed that he did not believe in divorce either (clearly a lie). That was the only reason I ok jumping in feet first. Next time I guess I will use God and logic, lol... this situation is not an ideal one but I believed in the wrong person. A military man is supposed to have integrity (I know I was in the military too). Anyway, I came here for support and prayer and am happy that some on here are going to pray for and with me. Thanks everyone!

I'm not down on you for bad decisions. I've made plenty myself. Just so you know in the future though, from 1981 to 2014, every August I truly believed the Eagles would win the Super Bowl. Except, I didn't really, since I was just basing that on hope.

I don't think the guy was necessarily lying when he said he didn't believe in divorces. Unfortunately, I also don't think he believed he was committing to that marriage then either. It's sort of the kind of thing people say -- and relatively mean -- when they say, "I'd never kill anyone." Very few know if they will or won't, but don't plan to find out this time.

We say many things in the heat of a hypothetical that we don't mean if that hypothetical becomes reality. So, at some level, he was honest. Just not honest about who he is this time. (Again, like Bill Clinton was honest because he was justifying his own actions by avoiding reality all together.)

 

[JosephsDreams]

The church makes no impact because half the church aren't true believers. I am a sinner and believe me I have done everything in my life half backwards and stayed in sin. What woke me up was another Christian looking me straight in the face and saying I was wrong and a sinner. Hearing those words dropped me to my knees in repentance. Sinning against the Lord should bring everyone of us to our knees. Most Christians go around life saying "oh well i'm only human and God will forgive me." There is no conviction or no remorse whatsoever in them.

When I scold my son I am a bit forceful but he understands what he did was wrong. Then I remind him that I love him and will always love him. I didn't scold him out of hate but out of love because i wanted him to know he was wrong and to never do it again.

But we are all different. Some people need a direct blunt word, other people turn away from it.
That is where the guidance of the Holy Spirit comes in. In fact I would go as far as to say that if you have more then one child, if your not tailoring your parenting to their specific personalities and needs, you may be making a error.
God is a God of relationship. That means to relate.
Holy Spirit, guide us in all things.

 

[Depleted]

Really? Not to sound cold, but plenty happens that is not His will. Do you think this situation was His will?

Oh, this is sooo much in God's will, YES! God willed Lenna to face some hard reality. God wills that a baby is growing inside her.

Why? Do you think this just slipped by God and he didn't catch it in time?

 

[WarriorForChrist]

But we are all different. Some people need a direct blunt word, other people turn away from it.
That is where the guidance of the Holy Spirit comes in. In fact I would go as far as to say that if you have more then one child, if your not tailoring your parenting to their specific personalities and needs, you may be making a error.
God is a God of relationship. That means to relate.
Holy Spirit, guide us in all things.

Many disciples turned away from Jesus when He preached. Why do you think that is? His message was hard and truthful. It was out of love for us but He didn't sugar coat anything.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Oh, this is sooo much in God's will, YES! God willed Lenna to face some hard reality. God wills that a baby is growing inside her.

Why? Do you think this just slipped by God and he didn't catch it in time?

That leaves the question, couldn't God have taught her this lesson WITHOUT bringing an innocent baby into such a mess? Hopefully next time, she won't do a repeat. :/ jmo

 

[Depleted]

You met a guy online, went to meet him, had sex, then married him? wowww.. You are in quite a pickle here. Online romances rarely work out, online marriages sometimes don't work out. You didn't even know this guy, weren't smart enough or safe enough to use a condom, and married him after the second visit to him. :/ Now he wants a divorce because he realizes he made a mistake. If you were honest with yourself, you'd see that this was a COLOSSAL mistake that never should have happened, and if the two of you used some restraint when you met, you wouldn't be preggers now.

God lets things like this happen for a reason. Hopefully you'll learn a good lesson out of this, because this is a train wreck in progress and it won't end well. Maybe you should have gotten to know him for a few YEARS before you married him. Hopefully the next time you have sex, you'll use protection so you don't bring any more kids into this mess. OR get some STD's.. If HE files divorce papers, you'll have no choice but to sign them.

My train wreck wasn't the end of the story. Why assume hers is?
Rom. 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

 

[blue_ladybug]

My train wreck wasn't the end of the story. Why assume hers is?
Rom. 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Well, first of all, you didn't have sex with a guy you didn't even know. Second, YOUR marriage worked out. Her marriage probably won't work out, but her and the baby can hopefully move on to something better. And also, you probably didn't come on a public forum only to say that people's opinions of your situation didn't matter to you, or get nasty to others if they told you truth. I DO hope something good comes out of this for ALL of them.

 

[Depleted]

I'm with hoss2576. Just because it happened, doesn't mean it was God's will. His will for your life never requires you to sin. You can't put that on God. He can make good out of bad, but that doesn't mean He wills the bad.

And it was never God's plan to have some huge fish be right there next to the ship when the sailors threw Jonah over? And it was not God's plan to have Jonah fester in 104 degrees of fish digestive acids corroding his skin to a pale pasty color with probably a couple of ulcers on it before the fish puked him out three days later onto the very shores of Nineveh?

"All things" means something, even when we rebel against God as his people. It's not pretty, but it's effective.

 

[Depleted]

Lucky for me your opinion does not count. Don't speak on what you don't know. On second thought, keep on preaching YOUR gospel.

Hold on. You don't think you need to repent? I thought that's what you were doing.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Hold on. You don't think you need to repent? I thought that's what you were doing.

Her attitude on here sure doesn't reflect that she has repented, or even WANTS to. jmo