Next week I will get to go to court with my Daughter because of a good example of What Not To Do In A Relationship.
Background story:
Daughter has been in a 8 year relationship with her boyfriend, 7 of those years they have lived together. (That was their first mistake.) Boyfriend has asked my Daughter several times over the years to marry him. (To me that was a mistake on her part not to.) She never want to have children so at least there aren't kids involved that they brought into the world. However, Boyfriend has one Son from previous marriage, ex-wife is referred to as satan. (His mistake for marrying her for a green card.) Boyfriend also entered relationship with $26,000.00 debt in back taxes. Of which Daughter helped him get it paid off in the 7 years they lived together. Daughter also encouraged him to get more custody of his Son paying most of the living expenses in the last two years while he used his money to pay off IRS Debt and lawyer costs in getting more custody. About 6 months ago Daughter quit her job due to stress and anxiety.
Recently (within the last month) found a receipt in the car for two drinks and a rose of which she did not get. One drink would have been for her Boyfriend another fruity drink that he probably would not have drank....She suspects another woman.
Fast forward 8 years later:
4/19/2016 Daughter started a new job I talked with her that evening to see how things went. Wednesday I called in the evening but got her voice mail. Thursday morning her Boyfriend calls me asking if I had heard from her and I had not. He asked me if I knew where she was and I didn't. The next 33 minutes we talked and I asked questions at the end of the call I knew she had been arrested for attacking him, supposedly putting pictures of naked women on his 12 year old Son's phone, putting a porn movie on top of Son's clothes in a dresser. I am telling Boyfriend that this sounds out of character for her. I'm not saying she didn't do it and not saying she did, there are other players involved and if I were a detective I would look at all suspects.
His Son - just recently got more custody of him for Son to stay overnight one night a week and have him for one weekend a month, and two weeks in the summer. Son, wanted it at first but realized that he was now living with real Dad and not Fun Dad since it was a week night and homework had to be done and they weren't playing and doing something fun now every time he saw his Dad.... Started not wanting to come over when it was the day to be with his Dad, would cry at the drop of a hat over anything, started wetting the bed at night. He's 12 and should be starting to work out of that phase.... My Daughter was encouraging Boyfriend to try and get help for Son to talk to a Physic Dr. His Son even got on a school bus to ride home when he knew his Dad was coming to the school to pick him up trying not to go spend the night with his Dad. But he ended up just wasting 2-3 hours of time because he still ended up staying with his Dad that night.
Because of Daughter trying to get Boyfriend to get help for his Son and Son not wanting to stay with them, crying and all Boyfriend is now blaming my Daughter for the Son's problems saying He doesn't like the way she is talking to his Son. Since she doesn't have a job she doesn't do anything just sitting around watching TV.
Daughter has been selling things on Ebay to bring in some money and has been able to pay for her bills with monies made from doing that, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. Running a home....so she rebels at that remark and stops doing all above mentioned household duties. But still selling things on Ebay... She wanted him to see she was doing things and not sitting around doing nothing.
So I talked to Daughter to get her side of the story:
First day of her new job as she is getting ready to go to new job she has bathroom door locked and has Boyfriends cell phone in the bathroom with her seeing that woman texted a message to Boyfriend at 6AM. Boyfriend is banging on bathroom door wanting his phone. Unlocks bathroom door to get his phone she confronts him about woman and uses a lint roller on him in not a good way. He gets her cell phone like he is going to do something with it and she starts fighting with him to get it away and left scratches on him. Goes to her first day of work.
Comes home goes into bedroom locks the door as she just wants to be left alone. He comes home with his Son, unlocks the bedroom door and starts arguing with her again. She tells him to leave her alone she is watching a movie and going to sleep. She does go to sleep and the next thing she knows there are two cops standing at the end of the bed waking her up. Boyfriend has pressed charges shown them the scratches from the morning issue and the police go away and talk for a while my Daughter goes back to sleep when she wakes up again there is a woman police officer with the two male officers telling her to get up they are taking her to jail... (In pajamas I might add)
She had no idea why she was being arrested until they had her in the car and she asked they said for domestic violence. They keep her up all night long in the processing process and release her Wednesday morning. She is out on the street in PJ's, no phone, no money and no way to get home. In the meantime Boyfriend puts a restraining order on her. She bumbs a ride home from a stranger. Gets a few belongings and She has been staying with 3 other women in a house one of the women she had met recently had offered her a place to stay telling her about other roommates. So temporary until she can find her own place.
Sorry this is such a long post, but I am soliciting prayers for this situation. My Daughter and I are both stunned that her Boyfriend would do this to her after an 8 year relationship. I have treated him like a Son and always respectful toward him. My Daughter has been asking him to go to counseling with her for a while now and he has said No. When I last talked to him I said you thought throwing her in jail was a better solution than going to see a counselor who could have helped you all get through this rough patch?
Well the relationship is over as my Daughter is now afraid of him plus he has been cheating on her. Now that he has had a few days to cool off he regret putting her in jail and is wanting her to come back and she said to me - How can I go back when the trust is gone? How do I get past the cheating and if he gets mad at me again will he throw me in jail again?
I am not saying my Daughter is right in attacking him, but he kept pushing her when she wanted to be left alone behind closed locked doors. We get to go to court next week. More than likely it will be dismissed as she has never done anything like this before.
PS: She did not put naked women on kids cell phone or the porn movie in the drawer.... Suspect that kid did it in an effort to not come and stay with his Dad....as Son has done other things to avoid coming over.
Again prayers please....
This has been a Big Example of What Not To Do In A Relationship.
Background story:
Daughter has been in a 8 year relationship with her boyfriend, 7 of those years they have lived together. (That was their first mistake.) Boyfriend has asked my Daughter several times over the years to marry him. (To me that was a mistake on her part not to.) She never want to have children so at least there aren't kids involved that they brought into the world. However, Boyfriend has one Son from previous marriage, ex-wife is referred to as satan. (His mistake for marrying her for a green card.) Boyfriend also entered relationship with $26,000.00 debt in back taxes. Of which Daughter helped him get it paid off in the 7 years they lived together. Daughter also encouraged him to get more custody of his Son paying most of the living expenses in the last two years while he used his money to pay off IRS Debt and lawyer costs in getting more custody. About 6 months ago Daughter quit her job due to stress and anxiety.
Recently (within the last month) found a receipt in the car for two drinks and a rose of which she did not get. One drink would have been for her Boyfriend another fruity drink that he probably would not have drank....She suspects another woman.
Fast forward 8 years later:
4/19/2016 Daughter started a new job I talked with her that evening to see how things went. Wednesday I called in the evening but got her voice mail. Thursday morning her Boyfriend calls me asking if I had heard from her and I had not. He asked me if I knew where she was and I didn't. The next 33 minutes we talked and I asked questions at the end of the call I knew she had been arrested for attacking him, supposedly putting pictures of naked women on his 12 year old Son's phone, putting a porn movie on top of Son's clothes in a dresser. I am telling Boyfriend that this sounds out of character for her. I'm not saying she didn't do it and not saying she did, there are other players involved and if I were a detective I would look at all suspects.
His Son - just recently got more custody of him for Son to stay overnight one night a week and have him for one weekend a month, and two weeks in the summer. Son, wanted it at first but realized that he was now living with real Dad and not Fun Dad since it was a week night and homework had to be done and they weren't playing and doing something fun now every time he saw his Dad.... Started not wanting to come over when it was the day to be with his Dad, would cry at the drop of a hat over anything, started wetting the bed at night. He's 12 and should be starting to work out of that phase.... My Daughter was encouraging Boyfriend to try and get help for Son to talk to a Physic Dr. His Son even got on a school bus to ride home when he knew his Dad was coming to the school to pick him up trying not to go spend the night with his Dad. But he ended up just wasting 2-3 hours of time because he still ended up staying with his Dad that night.
Because of Daughter trying to get Boyfriend to get help for his Son and Son not wanting to stay with them, crying and all Boyfriend is now blaming my Daughter for the Son's problems saying He doesn't like the way she is talking to his Son. Since she doesn't have a job she doesn't do anything just sitting around watching TV.
Daughter has been selling things on Ebay to bring in some money and has been able to pay for her bills with monies made from doing that, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. Running a home....so she rebels at that remark and stops doing all above mentioned household duties. But still selling things on Ebay... She wanted him to see she was doing things and not sitting around doing nothing.
So I talked to Daughter to get her side of the story:
First day of her new job as she is getting ready to go to new job she has bathroom door locked and has Boyfriends cell phone in the bathroom with her seeing that woman texted a message to Boyfriend at 6AM. Boyfriend is banging on bathroom door wanting his phone. Unlocks bathroom door to get his phone she confronts him about woman and uses a lint roller on him in not a good way. He gets her cell phone like he is going to do something with it and she starts fighting with him to get it away and left scratches on him. Goes to her first day of work.
Comes home goes into bedroom locks the door as she just wants to be left alone. He comes home with his Son, unlocks the bedroom door and starts arguing with her again. She tells him to leave her alone she is watching a movie and going to sleep. She does go to sleep and the next thing she knows there are two cops standing at the end of the bed waking her up. Boyfriend has pressed charges shown them the scratches from the morning issue and the police go away and talk for a while my Daughter goes back to sleep when she wakes up again there is a woman police officer with the two male officers telling her to get up they are taking her to jail... (In pajamas I might add)
She had no idea why she was being arrested until they had her in the car and she asked they said for domestic violence. They keep her up all night long in the processing process and release her Wednesday morning. She is out on the street in PJ's, no phone, no money and no way to get home. In the meantime Boyfriend puts a restraining order on her. She bumbs a ride home from a stranger. Gets a few belongings and She has been staying with 3 other women in a house one of the women she had met recently had offered her a place to stay telling her about other roommates. So temporary until she can find her own place.
Sorry this is such a long post, but I am soliciting prayers for this situation. My Daughter and I are both stunned that her Boyfriend would do this to her after an 8 year relationship. I have treated him like a Son and always respectful toward him. My Daughter has been asking him to go to counseling with her for a while now and he has said No. When I last talked to him I said you thought throwing her in jail was a better solution than going to see a counselor who could have helped you all get through this rough patch?
Well the relationship is over as my Daughter is now afraid of him plus he has been cheating on her. Now that he has had a few days to cool off he regret putting her in jail and is wanting her to come back and she said to me - How can I go back when the trust is gone? How do I get past the cheating and if he gets mad at me again will he throw me in jail again?
I am not saying my Daughter is right in attacking him, but he kept pushing her when she wanted to be left alone behind closed locked doors. We get to go to court next week. More than likely it will be dismissed as she has never done anything like this before.
PS: She did not put naked women on kids cell phone or the porn movie in the drawer.... Suspect that kid did it in an effort to not come and stay with his Dad....as Son has done other things to avoid coming over.
Again prayers please....
This has been a Big Example of What Not To Do In A Relationship.
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