I'm not crazy.....

[Willie-T]

I'm not crazy..... about Sid. But when he shuts up, you get to hear from a man I do hold in high regard. This is Sid's interview with Jon Welton, the man who wrote the book I talk about so much on here, Eyes of Honor.

Give a listen if you have any addictions, sexual or otherwise, that you are sick and tired of fighting.
[video=youtube;rs3VOAla1OU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs3VOAla1OU[/video]

 

[azlightsout]

I'm not crazy..... about Sid. But when he shuts up, you get to hear from a man I do hold in high regard. This is Sid's interview with Jon Welton, the man who wrote the book I talk about so much on here, Eyes of Honor.

Give a listen if you have any addictions, sexual or otherwise, that you are sick and tired of fighting.
[video=youtube;rs3VOAla1OU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs3VOAla1OU[/video]

Thank you brother Willie-T i will check it out Thanks

 

[Willie-T]

OK, here is the short intro... Part 1 of 2

For years I have collected and read books on sexual purity, and yet I have not been satisfied by the answers offered to Christian men. I have heard better advice from my high school friend, Tom, who said, “When I feel tempted, I eat a raw potato. Nothing gets your mind off of naked ladies like eating a raw potato!”

I am not sure that Tom ever actually ate a raw potato, but his idea (though hilarious) is really not that different from the typical advice given to Christian men. Many Christian books try to help men through methods of behavior modification. One of the most popular men’s purity books of the last decade instructed men to “bounce” their eyes, meaning that one should look away from temptation before lustful thoughts take over.

While this advice might help a little bit, there must be a better answer. The men I have talked to about “bouncing” their eyes eventually found that they could hardly look an attractive woman in the face because of the fear of lusting. The bouncing-eyes approach sounds practical, but it does not reach the roots of lust.

This point was driven home for me while visiting a friend in southern California. We were at a burger joint when the inevitable conversation came up once again. He shared with me, “Jon, I have a beautiful wife, a couple of beautiful children, a wonderful job that provides well for us, a great home, and I couldn’t be happier. Yet, I cannot get away from the lust in my eyes; I have talked to dozens of pastors and nobody seems to have answers. I appreciate that other men are honest enough to admit that they don’t have answers, but when is someone going to get this figured out?”

At that point, a holy anger arose in my heart and I heard myself say out loud, “How is it that Jesus told us that we can raise the dead but Christian men can’t even stop masturbating!” (See Matthew 10:8. ) Perhaps you have tried accountability, online filtering software, men’s purity books, attending 12-step groups, or professional counseling, but to no avail. You may be holding this book in your hands wondering if this is going to be another waste of your time, or if, maybe, you have finally stumbled upon a book that has some real answers.

What Hasn’t Worked
I am going to be real with you. These pages contains what you need to be free of sexual temptation. I know that this is a big, almost surreal statement, yet I believe it to be true. Before I tell you what makes these words different, I will tell you what I have found in the books that are already on the market.

There are three main categories of books on the market regarding men’s purity: 1) books that tell the reader how large the problem of lust is in our society, 2) books that tell a personal story of how the author ruined his whole life by following his lust, and 3) hard-to-read books written by Christian psychologists which describe lust in clinical terms.

There is little variation regarding the approach to this topic. The majority of the books I have read essentially label lust as a disease and leave the Christian man with a weak, carnal answer regarding how to manage his disease. But this does not line up with the Word of God; when did Christ ever tell His followers to manage their sin?

May I be honest with you? Because I am writing to men who spend significant amounts of time each week battling lustful thoughts, this is going to be a raw article full of truth and brazenly honest feelings. I am not writing from an ivory tower of perfection. I have had my gut-wrenching battles with temptation, and I have been cut and scarred in the warfare. But I have also come out as a victor. I have found through my personal experience and study of the Word that we can be free.

Even though surveys have found that 82 percent of Christian men are privately struggling with lust, it doesn’t have to be this way.

The aim of this writing is not to put a Band-Aid on the problem; we must get to the roots of the infection. I want to give you hope: there is an antidote. Jesus did not save you from the bondage of 99 percent of your sins just to leave you struggling with lust for the rest of your life.

This issue requires delving deeper into the hearts of men in order to finally bring health in this area.

The Accountability Myth
One of the first things I will tell you is that if you must have accountability, then you haven’t really found the answer to your sin.

Although accountability may help you manage your sin, it doesn’t deal with the root. Jesus didn’t provide us with complete freedom from the power of sin so that we could establish accountability groups to try not to sin. Jesus didn’t have an accountability partner, and neither did the apostles.

I have a high regard for the interdependence of the Body of Christ; yet if we must lean on others so as not to sin, there is something fundamentally wrong with our theology. Clearly, the Bible teaches that we are the Body of Christ, and we are many interconnected members (see Rom. 12:5). This does not mean that we must create webs of accountability to keep each other from sinning. That is not taught in the Word.

This is where my approach comes in. I am not a pastor; I am not a counselor; I am not a psychologist. I am a student of the Word. I believe that the Bible has the answer. I also believe that the Bible is not complicated, and that when the Bible is complicated, it is probably being taught wrongly. The Bible is about relationship with God, and He would not want that to be complicated.

I carry a saying with me: “Wrong teaching leads to wrong living; whereas right teaching leads to right living. ” I believe that the struggle for sexual purity comes from wrong teaching. While most Christian men struggling with lust would be happy just to have victory over lust, I believe that the Lord has much more for us.

Right thinking also leads to right believing.​

The Evidence Against Us
Right now the world is suffering from many evils regarding sexual sin. The sex industry worldwide is raking in over $57 billion a year. The sex slave trade is kidnapping, raping, and prostituting our sisters (and even brothers) all around the world. Hollywood is ever increasing its degradation of women. Homosexual marriage, sex-change operations, and the abortion agenda are pushing forward in our society every day.

Although Christian leaders oppose these global sins, many continue in personal slavery to pornography, which has the same evil spirits behind it as the rest of these sins. They publically denounce the very spirits of lust and perversion to which they are privately enslaved. How will we ever take down the sex slave industry while we are in bondage to the same evil spirits that are behind it? The Bible’s answer is simple:

…if My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. - (2 Chronicles 7:14).

The world around us is sin-sick with a toxic poison of lust. The Church must first be healed of this toxicity before we can offer hope, healing, and restoration to a world trapped in sexual bondage. I interpret Second Chronicles 7:14 as saying, when God’s people stop focusing on those around them and deal with their own hearts, then God will bring healing to those around them as well. God will heal the hearts of the homosexuals, abortionists, pornographers, and the like if, and when, we, as the Church, turn to Him, humble ourselves, and repent of our own sin.

Not only do 82 percent of Christian men regularly struggle with lust, but even those in the pulpit are suffering immensely. As a Church leader, I can say that it is very challenging to find someone safe to share your struggle with. Church leaders carry a heavy burden of expectation on their shoulders, and this makes it even harder to be open about failures and struggles. They fear losing their ministries and callings, so they keep their struggles secret, hoping to beat them on their own. Sadly, many of their stories end tragically. Considering this statistically, many in full-time ministry have been unfaithful to their spouses: “Forty percent of pastors have had extra-marital affairs since entering the ministry.”

Those in the pulpit desperately need help too.
If we hope to fix the divorce rate inside the Church, we must find victory against lust. Lust isn’t the only thing that causes marriages to fail, but it is almost always a factor. It is not just the sad, depressed, and angry people who are struggling with sexual temptation. “One study of 4,126 male business leaders, executives, and professionals reported that 88% of the men questioned had at least one affair.”

When we look at the numbers, the problem seems monumental. Yet I believe Jesus has given us a genuine solution that will bring actual freedom to the Church. If we can get freedom from sexual sin inside the Church, then we will begin to have a healing impact on the sin-sick world around us.

The Methods I Tried
On my journey to freedom from sexual bondage, I found that the Church offered many methods for finding freedom. I spent time vigorously trying each of the methods and found limited or temporary freedom. Having exhausted every avenue that I could, I turned to the Lord in my frustration and cried out for true, full, and lasting freedom.

I knew that I needed freedom not only for myself, but also for the host of other men struggling in the Body of Christ.

The following are a few of the methods promising freedom that I tried. Perhaps you haven’t tried these, and I can forewarn you of certain weaknesses; maybe you are trying these paths and feel like there is more freedom available; or perhaps you have tried them and are discouraged. If you are a part of the third group, be encouraged, because Jesus—the Author and Perfecter of your faith (see Heb. 12:2 NASB)—is going to continue working in your life to bring you to fullness of freedom.

Deliverance From Demonic Oppression
When I first began to feel trapped by pornography, my first thought was that I must be in bondage to a demon of lust. As a Christian, I had heard about demons for many years and thought that I must need deliverance.

I read every book on deliverance that I could find. Here is what I found to be true. The devil is a totally defeated foe and a tremendous liar. After the cross of Christ, the only way the devil can gain power is by getting individuals to agree with his lies. As I began to understand that I had come into agreement with his lies, I worked through deliverance and found a measure of freedom, but I knew there was a greater freedom than what I was experiencing.

Dealing with the Soul
After I realized that I didn’t just need a demon cast out of me, I began to look at my emotional life. I was looking for how my life could have become so out of control. I came across the book The Spiritual Man by Watchman Nee. Because I had heard so many good things about this book, I hungrily read it, twice in fact!

I began to believe that my lust was a product of my soul not being submitted to my spirit. So I worked as hard as possible to bring my soul into subjection to my spirit. It was many wasted years later that a dear brother showed me the error of this concept. I have devoted a whole chapter to taking apart this myth, but suffice it to say here that the soul is a good thing that should not be suppressed. If you have been caught in the “submit your soul to your spirit” teaching, consider reading Escaping Dualism by Harold Eberle.

Dualism: The Human Condition
I moved from trying to suppress my soul to instead trying to crucify my fleshly, carnal nature. I began to think that I must “die daily” like the apostle Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians (see 1 Cor. 15:31). Perhaps my problem was my sin nature. I just needed to deny self and pick up my cross. I became focused on my cross and tried to be my own executioner.

After many years of frustration, discouragement, and extensive biblical study, my eyes were opened to this truth: My crucifixion with Christ is a past-tense, accomplished fact that I can add nothing to. I cover this in much more detail in a later chapter.

 

[Willie-T]

Part 2 of2


Internet Filters
While a filter may be a helpful preventive tool, it is not a solution. Placing a filter on your mobile phone or computer may help block Internet pornography, but if you must have this, then you have not actually removed the lust from your heart. Internet filters are like childproofing a home; once the child is grown, you do not need to have a childproof home. In the same way, once you have dealt with removing lust from your heart, Internet filters become unnecessary.

Introspection
At this point in my journey, I was not looking for demons, I was not trying to suppress my soul, and I was not trying to crucify myself, so I dug deeper into introspection. I figured that I must begin to “take every thought captive” (see 2 Cor. 10:5). I set a mental guard and filtered my thoughts on a constant basis. It did not take long in this stage for me to begin to feel tired and burnt out. I was working and struggling as hard as I could, but I ended up crying out in my heart like Paul did in Romans 7:24: “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (NKJV).

The Lord began to show me that the focus of introspection was self. Knowing that “the heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly corrupt…” (Jer. 17:9 WEB), how could I trust the assessment I gained from my own heart about my own heart!

Introspection was draining my life and getting me nowhere. I realized that I had placed my focus on myself, rather than turning my focus toward Jesus and His grace.

Inner Healing
I knew that the Lord was saying that I needed to focus on Him and not myself, but I didn’t really know how to do that. And because I was incapable of taking all my thoughts captive, I began to wonder where these thoughts were coming from. I began to look for the roots of my thought life in the experiences and memories that I had accumulated over the years. I did find a new measure of success against lust by working through my memories with repentance and forgiveness.

Unfortunately, I began to feel like I would never reach the bottom of my bucket. I realized that forgiveness and repentance took me from negative 100 back to ground zero; but the Word of God describes a life that is lived at positive 100. Inner healing was very helpful, it helped me deal with the past, but I still didn’t have my identity straightened out for walking forward.

The Clinical Approach
Eventually, I sought out Christian counseling with a focus on those caught in sexual bondage. I reasoned that because they work with people with similar issues all the time, then they must have found a way to help people. I submitted to analysis and spent some time in the office of a world-class expert in this arena. I was very excited when I first sat down with him. I thought, “I am in the one place that probably has the answers I have been searching for. I am finally going to find answers!”

Unfortunately, this was the most disappointing point in my journey. Much of modern Christian counseling has been putting Band-Aids on major infections. Having searched and even gone to the top of the sexual purity mountain in search of answers, I was shocked and disappointed to find nothing of the true freedom I sought.

The main three tools incorporated by the clinical approach were completely secular in approach. They are as follows:

Tool 1: Labeling
As I submitted to the professional counselor, I was given a host of labels regarding my bondage to sexual sin. Rather than reinforcing the labels that God has given me—son, beloved, righteous, light of the world, salt of the Earth, royalty, and so forth—the clinical approach placed psychological labels over my sin. Rather than the biblical fact that I was in bondage to the sin of lust, I was labeled with a “disease” called “sexual addiction.” I have a problem with this because I can repent of a sin, but I can’t repent of a disease.

Also the counselor went on to claim that once a person is an addict, that person is always an addict. I have a problem with this also because he whom the Son sets free is free indeed (see John 8:36). Yet according to this counseling model, even if people do find a measure of freedom, they are considered to be in recovery for the rest of their lives. I cannot imagine the apostle Paul sitting in a dank church basement talking about how he has been a recovering murderer for 20 years. Men, is this the level of freedom we are willing to accept simply because nobody has anything better to offer?

Tool 2: Motivating Factors
The tool that was used for motivation in the hands of the clinical approach was mainly fear: to be more specific, the fear of punishment. The counselor had each individual write up punishments that he would use on himself if he operated in lust. For example, “If I view pornography, I will give $100 to a political cause I don’t believe in.” Over my years of study in the Word, I have found that there are only two ways to live—in love or in fear. “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18). Because we Christians know that we are called to walk in love, we cannot allow fear to be a part of our lives.

Punishment and fear are never healthy ways to motivate walking in true love; this would be like threatening children by saying that they must love you or else you will mercilessly beat them. The only way that children can learn to walk in love is through our displaying love to them as an example to follow. That is what God has done for us. “We love Him because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19 NKJV). And Romans 2:4 says that it is His kindness that brings us to repentance, not fear of punishment, guilt, or condemnation.

The idea that counselors could hang the fear of punishment over people’s heads in the hopes of motivating them to walk in love was especially surprising and absurd. Jesus was the one who said, “If you love Me, you will obey Me” (see John 14:15). Therefore, love is the motivator for godly obedience, not fear.

Tool 3: Behavior Modification
The ability to force internal change through external pressure is a total myth. Imagine pushing a basketball underwater inside a swimming pool; the harder you push down, the more force the ball has in trying to surface. This is just as futile as the cycles of punishment that the clinical approach has adopted.

I was given a rubber band to put on my wrist and told to snap myself every time I had a lustful thought. I was told that I was totally powerless against my addiction/disease and that I would have to physically retrain my body and mind to walk in freedom. Christian counseling promised me that external regulations and behavioral modifications would be able to keep my sin nature in check. But this is not the “free indeed” (John 8:36) that Jesus promised. And I was not willing to settle for this nonsense.

I remember sitting next to “John” in a Sex Addicts Anonymous group when he shared that he had been in recovery for 14 years and that he had been sober (had not masturbated) for two years. The man on the other side of John congratulated him and asked him why he didn’t seem happy about such an accomplishment. Then John broke down in tears and exclaimed, “I have been at these meetings multiple times a week for 14 years. I have been sober for two years, but I do not feel any freer! I still constantly have lustful thoughts and view women in evil ways. I want to be changed inside, but the behavioral modifications have only changed my outside reality, not my inside struggle. I don’t want to go on like this.”

“John” is like many Christian men. He has tried everything the Church has had to offer, but is in a state of despair that the methods and the freedom that have been offered him are far below the freedom that the Bible promises. Personally, I believe the Bible has the answers that men have been longing for in this area for many years. It is time to dig deep and lay the axe to the root of this bondage once and for all!

Identity Shift
My approach to lasting freedom is based on changing the identity of the one in bondage to lust. As you read this book, you will find that your understanding of identity will be challenged. You will be stretched doctrinally and experientially. You will need to make major shifts in heart and mind.

Most people have formed their identity around their actions: “I do plumbing; therefore, I am a plumber.” “I sin; therefore, I am a sinner.” “I can’t stop thinking lustful thoughts; therefore, I am a sex addict.”

The truth is that your identity is not the sum total of your actions; identity is the foundation of your life from which your actions flow. For example, if you were born and raised in Spain, then your identity is that of a Spanish citizen who most likely speaks Spanish. Identity comes before actions, and actions flow forth from identity. Rightly stated: “I am righteous in Christ; therefore, I live righteously.” Identity always precedes actions.

Identity is made of three components: the mind, the heart, and revelation. The mind represents all of the thinking that a person has processed. The heart contains all of the experiences that a person has had. Revelation is the place where the heart and mind have come into agreement to form a foundational belief system. Identity flows out of a person’s revelation.

Imagine, for example, a young boy who is told every day that he is worthless. Certain thoughts form in the boy’s mind.

Also, if the boy is slapped and abused regularly, the experiences are stored within his heart. The combination of his heart and mind leads to a revelation that says, “You are worthless. You are trash. You don’t matter. Your actions don’t matter. There is no God. You should just do whatever you want because nobody will hold you accountable.” And on the basis of this revelation, the identity of a criminal flows forth!

Biblically, we can observe how this identity transition took place in the life of Saul of Tarsus. On the road to Damascus, Saul had a revelation of Jesus that challenged his heart and mind—he had a tremendous experience that left him blind for three days (see Acts 9:1-30). I would imagine that in those three days he had his heart and mind come into agreement to form a new foundational belief system—one founded on the truth that Jesus is the Christ.

His new revelation caused him to have a new identity so that, after this shift, he was willing to die for Christ, whereas four days earlier he had been willing to kill those who believed in the Christ. It is amazing how quickly people’s identities can change when their hearts and minds align and form a new revelation.

If identity flows out of revelation, then to change your identity, you must get a new revelation! To get a new revelation, you first have to renew your mind with truth and allow new experiences into your heart. This book and the tools within are designed to give you the truths and experiences you need to receive a new revelation and identity.

Tool
Which of the following paths have you tried? Based on a scale of effectiveness from one to ten (one indicating extreme ineffectiveness and ten signifying extreme effectiveness), how would you rate your experience?
••Deliverance
•• Suppressing the soul
••Battling the flesh nature
•• Internet filtering
•• Introspection
•• Inner healing
••Managing your sexual appetite
•• 12-step approach
•• Professional counseling

Ready for something better?

This has been the author’s introduction. Below, are a few lines from Section 1 of the book, Eyes of Honor by: Jonathan Welton.

Who Am I?
The typical man struggling against impurity is actually caught in an identity crisis. Many feel like the man who said,“… For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. …What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?” (Rom. 7:15,24).

Men have been told that they are powerless against sin and will have to struggle with it for the rest of their lives. Some continue to try killing their old flesh nature, while others believe that their actions accumulate and form their identity. Essentially, Christian men don’t know who they are, and this is why they don’t live rightly. Once a man can get a revelation of himself as a new creation in Christ, then the right identity and lifestyle will be secured within him.

 

[azlightsout]

For years I have collected and read books on sexual purity, and yet I have not been satisfied by the answers offered to Christian men. I have heard better advice from my high school friend, Tom, who said, “When I feel tempted, I eat a raw potato. Nothing gets your mind off of naked ladies like eating a raw potato!”

LOL - never tried a raw potato but i have been thru a divorce. If u want to see a man 'CRY' take a trip down to your local family law courthouse .

 

[Willie-T]

To some of you who don't like "flooding" (I don't either), I apologize for the length of this.

However, I think I may have irritated some people in the past who did, pointedly, ask for me to openly post all this instead of only sending it by PM to those who requested it...... so I decided to finally just bite the bullet, and join the ranks of the blubbering blabber-mouths who fill up six screens with one long, continued post.

But, seriously, I have conducted classes in this stuff for decades, and this book honestly is the best thing I have found so far, so it is well worth sharing. When I saw Sid's interview with Jon, I thought, " Why not add the intro to his book, too?"

 

[Pemican]

I haven't read Welton's book so I can't comment on it, but I do believe understanding the depth of God's grace and our identity in Christ are vital for every Christian to understand. I know an excellent evangelist who, after leading people to Christ, then teaches them their new identity in Christ. Of course knowing is the first step, but then you must believe who you are in Christ, as you continue to grow in grace and knowledge. I will read this book. Thanks for this post Willie.

 

[Willie-T]

I haven't read Welton's book so I can't comment on it, but I do believe understanding the depth of God's grace and our identity in Christ are vital for every Christian to understand. I know an excellent evangelist who, after leading people to Christ, then teaches them their new identity in Christ. Of course knowing is the first step, but then you must believe who you are in Christ, as you continue to grow in grace and knowledge. I will read this book. Thanks for this post Willie.

Well, Jon's book is very specifically aimed at beating addictions, and especially pornography, so most of the book focuses on achieving that victory.

 

[oldethennew]

for hubby, and myself, two people who have had many, many worldly-addictions - after our conversion,
when we totally surrendered our hearts to Jesus Christ, He sent the Holy Spirit into our hearts/minds,
and began performing miracles inside of us that we were not able to understand but were so thankful to be
able to grab-ahold of and heal off of and eventually over-come these worldly curses put upon us at
different times in each of our lives...

after many trials and tribulations/over-comings over many years, our old worldly lives began an unbelievable
change inside of our Spirits and hearts, our 'old lives' were becoming abhorrent to us,
and we began to desire to live the new-life that Christ was offering to us...

the rest is history, as many who have known us through these many years, have witnessed...

 

[Yahweh_is_gracious]

Thanks for sharing this Willie. I also am not a fan of Sid Roth, but sometimes he gets a guest on his show that I do enjoy listening to, and I missed this episode. I'll watch this video, and I might see if I can find the book. I could use some help with getting rid of my sweet tooth for alcohol.