Soulmate Lost

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Z

Zammer

Guest
#41
#41
I believe in soul mates, but as hard as it is to accept, this can't be a case of that because she left. That is the most painful oartiesparties if relationships, it takes two and both have to be vested in it. It sounds like you were in love with her and she wasn't in love with you, but she had you fooled. Maybe it's not a good idea to try to mirror it as you said...maybe it would help to talk to a professional counselor. So you can learn coping strategies, and let yourself get free from still longing over someone who is pretty much gone. I have issues with rejection and that keeps me from taking risks including fearing rejection in relationships. A counselor once asked me "why do you give him so much power over you?" regarding my heartbreak over a guy that broke up with me. Over time, nobody I previously thought I was heartbroken over had any power over me, time heals many things if you let it. Also talking to God of course!
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#42
#42
Zammer said:
I believe in soul mates, but as hard as it is to accept, this can't be a case of that because she left. That is the most painful oartiesparties if relationships, it takes two and both have to be vested in it. It sounds like you were in love with her and she wasn't in love with you, but she had you fooled. Maybe it's not a good idea to try to mirror it as you said...maybe it would help to talk to a professional counselor. So you can learn coping strategies, and let yourself get free from still longing over someone who is pretty much gone. I have issues with rejection and that keeps me from taking risks including fearing rejection in relationships. A counselor once asked me "why do you give him so much power over you?" regarding my heartbreak over a guy that broke up with me. Over time, nobody I previously thought I was heartbroken over had any power over me, time heals many things if you let it. Also talking to God of course!
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Feeling better now. Christian counselor and getting on with having fun and doing more of what I enjoy has helped a lot. Looking forward to future possibilities.
 
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patrickdemps

Guest
#43
#43
I have read your story..that's so heart touching.
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#44
#44
patrickdemps said:
I have read your story..that's so heart touching.
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Thanks.

I should not want after another mans wife. Its a sin! She choose and their is nothing I can do to change that. We were really close and considered a couple by a lot of people. I still to this day, almost four years later get asked "where is she". When I tell them we are not together. They are shocked are bewildered. I don't need her to remind me or chase me down. All she was doing was working my nerves up. I placed her on a pedestal and shouldn't of done that. She made a choice. I gave her my terms. I don't want to be the reason for her divorce or the scape goat. She can do that on her own. If she wanted me so bad she wouldn't of left. Now she is reaping her choice. She knows she made a bad choice.

God knows what I am seeking in my heart and I am not settling like I have done in the past. A lot of people will say I am being selfish or picky. No one should ever settle on something they know they will be "eh" for the rest of their life. I am seeking someone above the relationship of what I thought I could have. Setting myself up for success. In the meanwhile I still have self improving to do. Last week has brought me closer to god.
 
ladybugg

ladybugg

Junior Member
#45
Mar 31, 2014
24
0
0
#45
Hi there, I understand your pain 100% as I am going through the same thing. I dated a guy for 2 years and we are soul mates, the friendship was amazing, but.... we never wanted the same things from life, and this included my walk with God, so after a few years I had to break it off, well its been 5 years I havent seen him now, but still have occasional contact. It is the hardest thing to walk away from someone you love so much. I have prayed, released balloons, been for counselling, you name it I tried it. But I do realise that one hangs onto the fantasy of the relationship, we tend to forget the reason we parted ways, only remember the fun. But hang in there, and pep talk yourself every time you think about her, try remember a bad thing about the relationship and think about that every time you miss her, it helps. Hope it makes some sense lol.
 
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BurlyCarl

Guest
#46
#46
ladybugg said:
Hi there, I understand your pain 100% as I am going through the same thing. I dated a guy for 2 years and we are soul mates, the friendship was amazing, but.... we never wanted the same things from life, and this included my walk with God, so after a few years I had to break it off, well its been 5 years I havent seen him now, but still have occasional contact. It is the hardest thing to walk away from someone you love so much. I have prayed, released balloons, been for counselling, you name it I tried it. But I do realise that one hangs onto the fantasy of the relationship, we tend to forget the reason we parted ways, only remember the fun. But hang in there, and pep talk yourself every time you think about her, try remember a bad thing about the relationship and think about that every time you miss her, it helps. Hope it makes some sense lol.
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Hi ladybug

I think its funny how your situation mirror in its own way my story. Counselors call it a phantom relationship. Basically someone leads you on to believe that a relationship is going to happen. However they keep you hanging on just enough to get what they want. It is manipulation. They like the feeling and attention. But they never commit. I will always have feelings for the person I had in my life and that is ok. However the occasional contact that you are doing. Is not helping you or him. You are leading him on and giving him false expectations. No matter ho much you clarify it to him. Simply put. The heart wants what it can not have. You would be doing him no favor by not contacting him. If you read though what I posted. By this woman contacting me. Leading me on. Chasing me down. Same as you contacting him. You can't do it. So how is that helping him? Its not. You are prolonging what you are not willing to commit to. That is wrong of you to do that. Your claiming that your walk with God is not in step with his. However you keep returning to him occasionally to remind him that he is not good enough. That is wrong of you. Its your personal compromise at that point and not God. I know where this is going. You may be the same lady that goes out of her way to chase me down at the grocery store. Its still stands. Until the day. You are able and single and can commit. Their is no us. Whole heart not half heart and wishing on thibgs that are never going to happen.

Do not do that to this guy. Yoy either let him go. Or take him on. Stop making him chase the wind. Or giving him compromise.

You sound like you know the person I knew.
 
S

Sanfam

Guest
#47
#47
Yeah, this story has adultery of the heart, rebellion and sin written all over it. She is not your soul mate. It says in Mal. 2:14 that she shares a vestige of Spirit with her husband so they can have Godly children. You need to drop her from your heart. It is called coveting your neibor's spouse. This is in the 10 Commandments, as well as adultery of heart, if not yours than hers. But definitely coveting someone's spouse. Don't ever speak to her again an honor her marriage and her husband. Least the bible say and you get a bruise, Proverbs.
 
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