my step mom hates me

  • Thread starter TemporaryCircumstances
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#101
#101
Elizabeth619 said:
You stated that you pay bills at 14. How can you manage to work, go to school and take care of a family and make enough money to help with bills at such a young age? This is not anything a child your age should be doing. Why haven't teachers reported this? Others around you have to know something and be alarmed.
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I work on hours I'm not at school
Do homework during study hall or free time
And help pay bills.

It's not that's suprising.

No. No one notices because here's the thing.
No one cares.
No one cares to notice how I'm never at rest or nearly in tears at class because of home situations.

Taking care of a family; well, I am fine with doing that.

Teachers don't know. That's not their job
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#102
#102
Teachers are supposed to teach me what I need to know to further my education and knowledge.
They are doing that
 
Elizabeth619

Elizabeth619

Senior Member
#103
Jul 19, 2011
6,397
109
48
#103
TemporaryCircumstances said:
Teachers are supposed to teach me what I need to know to further my education and knowledge.
They are doing that
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There's more to teaching than that. Teachers will interfere of the need is there. They are required by the state to report alleged abuse.
What kind of work do you do?
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#104
#104
Elizabeth619 said:
There's more to teaching than that. Teachers will interfere of the need is there. They are required by the state to report alleged abuse.
What kind of work do you do?
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Private violin lessons

It's not abuse.
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#105
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#105
TemporaryCircumstances said:
I work on hours I'm not at school
Do homework during study hall or free time
And help pay bills.

It's not that's suprising.

No. No one notices because here's the thing.
No one cares.
No one cares to notice how I'm never at rest or nearly in tears at class because of home situations.

Taking care of a family; well, I am fine with doing that.

Teachers don't know. That's not their job
Click to expand...
Just because a teacher doesn't know doesn't mean he or she doesn't care. Notice how none of us knew what you were going through? Notice how other students are always tired? Teachers don't automatically think it's because of a hellish home life. But teachers are far more than just assigning homework and grading. They bring you to the right place to get help, whether it is a school counselor, cop, pastor, whomever.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#106
#106
And the need is not there.
If I try to do anything else no one is going to be happy.
Everything is going to turn out worse like it has other times
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#108
#108
jsr1221 said:
Just because a teacher doesn't know doesn't mean he or she doesn't care. Notice how none of us knew what you were going through? Notice how other students are always tired? Teachers don't automatically think it's because of a hellish home life. But teachers are far more than just assigning homework and grading. They bring you to the right place to get help, whether it is a school counselor, cop, pastor, whomever.
Click to expand...

Teachers have said in class that it is not their job to be help for your sob story.
And I agree.
I already have help.
I see therapists, my pastor ect.....
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#109
#109
jsr1221 said:
You said earlier it was abuse but you didn't want to say precisely because you didn't want anyone taken away.
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Sigh....
Fine. But if anything else is done it will end up worse for everyone
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#111
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#111
Natania, you really need to talk to someone. You just started school so the teachers don't know you that well yet. They probably just don't know what you're going through. I know at least one of those teachers will care. I have never personally dealt with Family services, I have heard both positive and negative.

I don't want to log on to CC someday and see a post about you and your siblings being hurt. I'm glad you're here and talking about it, if that helps take some of the burden off your shoulders then good. I can't drive from PA to Colorado and legally do anything. If I could I would. This is so wrong. Is there any other adult in your life nearby that you can talk to?
 
EarnestQ

EarnestQ

Senior Member
#112
Apr 28, 2016
2,588
310
83
#112
Natania,

I wish I could give you a hug and tell you things will get better soon, but we both know that isn't likely.

However, if you are involved in a church ask the pastor for some help. Maybe he can get you involved with a spiritually and emotionally healthy couple who can lift you up during your ordeal.

I also see that you live in the town in Colorado where Focus on the Family has (the last I knew) their headquarters. Please get in touch with them. Not only can they give you some emotional support, they may be able to find alternatives you can't even imagine.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#113
#113
Elizabeth619 said:
Yes, you taking care of a family the way you are is abuse. You're 14. You're a child. You are in an abusive home. You don't have to be beaten to be a victim of abuse.
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Yes I'm 14 I only have 4 more years.
I'm not only taking care of the family my step mother stayed home today so my brother could stay home cuz he didn't have school.
She helps sometimes.
She helps pay half the bills.
I don't pay them all myself. We split it.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#114
#114
Fenner said:
Natania, you really need to talk to someone. You just started school so the teachers don't know you that well yet. They probably just don't know what you're going through. I know at least one of those teachers will care. I have never personally dealt with Family services, I have heard both positive and negative.

I don't want to log on to CC someday and see a post about you and your siblings being hurt. I'm glad you're here and talking about it, if that helps take some of the burden off your shoulders then good. I can't drive from PA to Colorado and legally do anything. If I could I would. This is so wrong. Is there any other adult in your life nearby that you can talk to?
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There is this councelor from a camp I work over the summer and I talk to her.
She often says she wishes she could adopt me buy is not financially capable. She's in college.
She's not technically nearby but she does fly to visit me occasionally.
I also have my pastor
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#115
#115
EarnestQ said:
Natania,

I wish I could give you a hug and tell you things will get better soon, but we both know that isn't likely.

However, if you are involved in a church ask the pastor for some help. Maybe he can get you involved with a spiritually and emotionally healthy couple who can lift you up during your ordeal.

I also see that you live in the town in Colorado where Focus on the Family has (the last I knew) their headquarters. Please get in touch with them. Not only can they give you some emotional support, they may be able to find alternatives you can't even imagine.
Click to expand...
I will think about it....
 
jsr1221

jsr1221

Senior Member
#116
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#116
TemporaryCircumstances said:
Teachers have said in class that it is not their job to be help for your sob story.
And I agree.
I already have help.
I see therapists, my pastor ect.....
Click to expand...
That's simply not true. They are required by law to report anything illegal.
 
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TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#120
#120
Look,
Maybe it's mental abuse, but it's not something like people said that will last forever. And she hasn't hurt me or my siblings.
I fear that if I try to change this situation it will turn out as every single one before this has and I just can't go through that again, and I can't put my siblings through that.
I love my family.
Every one of them my step mom my father whoever no matter what they've done.
But me and my siblings have always had a special relationship. I am their mother. And I'm not letting them go. And I'm not putting them through a hell hole because I wanted a situation to change for me.
If it's me or my family's well being at stake then I'll always save my family.
I love taking care of them and tucking them in at night and if I need to work a little harder to be able to do the then I will.
I have no problem helping pay with the bills or working and going to school or providing food. If that's what needs to be done that is what I will do.

What I have a problem with is living in a space where I have to constantly put my life on hold to please her and earn her love.
But if my family is at risk then I'd rather stay living like that for for years
 
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