The person above me has been secretly hoarding empty milk cartons for the past 27 years. Exactly 27 years ago today, she was visited by aliens from the planet Krinkleblobatron, who entrusted in her a recipe for an orange Jolly Rancher flavored beverage that has a mysterious property of slowing the aging process but it only works in combination with rare herb grown in the mountains of Afghanistan, which will not be available until the year 3057. The combination of the ingredients, being highly unstable, can only be stored in empty milk cartons. The aliens then left her in possession of a mysterious object, resembling a toaster. She was then given instructions to watch the episode of SpongeBob when he got the squeaky boots. On the 3rd Street of the boots, she was to activate the device where she would be transported to the year 3057 where she would infiltrate a Jolly Rancher Factory under the alias Josephine Leebowitz and await further instructions