Grounds for divorce

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Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#21
I am not pursuing him at this point, i am asking for spiritual guidance, thank you

Spiritual guidance? Don't go after married men, it's wrong. Sincerely, God


He's married, move on.
 
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brknhearted

Guest
#22
i will abstain from him, and leave it to God, ever since ive met him he has brought me closer to the word, i also believe from a bad situation comes good, i could honestly say from this trial it has made me grow in the word. I cast all my worries and anxiety to the Lord, the world does not know my heart, only God, and only he could judge.
 
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Deepdistress21

Guest
#23
If he is truly meant to be in your life he will. But he needs to make the choice without influence from an outsider. Both they, and you deserve that.
 
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brknhearted

Guest
#24
thank you for positive feedback
 

Connock

Senior Member
Aug 20, 2016
202
12
18
#25
i will abstain from him, and leave it to God, ever since ive met him he has brought me closer to the word, i also believe from a bad situation comes good, i could honestly say from this trial it has made me grow in the word. I cast all my worries and anxiety to the Lord, the world does not know my heart, only God, and only he could judge.

Don't go away feeling chastised or judged. You are doing the right thing to put God in control and remember--everyone here is just as much a sinner as anyone else. I wish you healing peace in your heart.
 

Deidre

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2016
258
7
18
#26
He has been in a loveless marriage for years before he met me
That ^^^ is written in the rule book of cheaters. ''She doesn't understand me.'' ''She doesn't have sex with me'' ''She doesn't know me like you do.'' Meanwhile, that could all be lies and his wife thinks everything is fine.

If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you. :(

He's in a loveless marriage because he doesn't show his wife any love. Please don't disgrace yourself and be with this guy, you will lose in the end.
 
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brknhearted

Guest
#27
If god puts it in your heart to be compassionate and a listening ear, i cant see why if God is love, and we are supposed to lift the fallen and pray and seek biblical guidance how that could be wrong?
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#28
There is a reason the Bible says some topics should be discussed with older men or women....if he needs marriage advice it should be from an older man, not a young woman who has romantic feelings for him.

He should talk to his WIFE and she should be his listening ear....if all you felt for him was brotherly or sisterly love then that might be different (especially if you grew up tohether, but he sounds like a new addition to your life.... when lust enters the picture, there is trouble.
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#29
I know lots of people that are stuck in a loveless marriage for financial reasons , i dont believe God wants us to be unhappy, stressed with anxiety, a victim to verbal abuse, she is not submitting or doing her obligations as a wife. There would be no divorce ever , she has already commited adultry and he stayed and forgave her. I dont think God wants him to carry this cross and be miserable
So God chose you to stick your nose in and meddle your way into the marriage so you can eventually win him over? That's essentially what you're doing.
 
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brknhearted

Guest
#30
Exactly seek advice from someone with wisdom and could somewhat relate, i am not meddling there is a difference! Ur 25
 

jsr1221

Senior Member
Jul 7, 2013
4,265
77
48
#31
Exactly seek advice from someone with wisdom and could somewhat relate, i am not meddling there is a difference! Ur 25
Ahh. Okay. So that must mean I have no knowledge or experience on the matter? Even though I may have seen it first-hand? Sounds like I hit a nerve. When defense rises, it usually means there's denial. Kind of like an alcoholic. If more and more people say "Hey, your drinking is a problem". Chances are, yes the person is an alcoholic. People on here have been basically saying you're meddling. Guess what? With more people seeing this chances are they might be correct. Our hearts can corrupt our minds in making us want something that isn't ours.
 
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ladylynn

Guest
#32
I know lots of people that are stuck in a loveless marriage for financial reasons , i dont believe God wants us to be unhappy, stressed with anxiety, a victim to verbal abuse, she is not submitting or doing her obligations as a wife. There would be no divorce ever , she has already commited adultry and he stayed and forgave her. I dont think God wants him to carry this cross and be miserable

Oh dear dear what a mess! Not sure why you know all this personal information about this man's marriage especially the part about her obligations as a wife?? In what kind of conversation can it be proper that a married Christian man would discuss such an intimate topic with another Christian woman who is not his wife or his older wiser sister or his mother?? You also know about her committing adultery and that he stayed and forgave her? And that you have an opinion in the matter about what God wants this man to carry as far as his own cross? This is way out of a proper sphere of influence in that you should not even know such details. This sounds all very wrong no matter how many Bible verses on divorce can be found. I hope you run the other way before you end up married to this man. It sounds like you are only months away from that step.

 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#34
I know lots of people that are stuck in a loveless marriage for financial reasons , i dont believe God wants us to be unhappy, stressed with anxiety, a victim to verbal abuse, she is not submitting or doing her obligations as a wife. There would be no divorce ever , she has already commited adultry and he stayed and forgave her. I dont think God wants him to carry this cross and be miserable

What God wants for him is not your business. Go on your way and find the man God has for you. This man is not the one.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#35
If god puts it in your heart to be compassionate and a listening ear, i cant see why if God is love, and we are supposed to lift the fallen and pray and seek biblical guidance how that could be wrong?
You are making excuses for yourself. No married man ought to be talking to a married woman,or single, about his marital issues. If he has issues he can go to another brother in the church. I had a man in my church offer to drive me home and I kindly refused the offer. A married man has no business telling you his problems. And the reason he is doing it is because he knows you are falling for it. Dont fall into the trap. Direct him to the pastor or another male church member.
 
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kaylagrl

Guest
#36
Exactly seek advice from someone with wisdom and could somewhat relate, i am not meddling there is a difference! Ur 25
You are meddling, you know private things that you shouldn't. He needs advice and wisdom from a MALE brother in the Lord.Not you.
 
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brknhearted

Guest
#37
where in the bible does it state he specifically needs to seek advice from an older male person?
 
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bikerchaz

Guest
#38
Been searching for verses regarding divorce! , ive prayed for the lord to put a godly man in my life, this man is serving God but is married. I need scripture please and prayer
Get into Jesus sister, Just Jesus, no one else Just Jesus, only Jesus, no other but Jesus, with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength, all your will, all your enegies. This is life! Jesus is life!

When you give all to Jesus , is that so bad? Do you not believe He loves you? Do you not understand that when Jesus was dying and bleeding out on the cross in pain, His was able to look through time to see you and look you in the eye and see you! Eye to eye! He knows what you need, if that is not being alone and having a partner is that position do you not realsie Jesus will provide one for you?

But not against what Jesus Himself condemned.

Matt 5
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matt 19
But it was not this way from the beginning. [SUP]9 [/SUP]I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
Know surely sister that anyone who leaves a wife/partner for another commits adultery and the one with who they commit it is not free from guilt, and even then, if all is done with the knowledge of the offence, they will not be part of God's kingdom!

Get to the cross sister and trust and lean on Jesus with all your heart for only in Jesus do we have life, Jesus sister, Just Jesus!
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#39
where in the bible does it state he specifically needs to seek advice from an older male person?
It's not explicitly stated and you can make excuses to yourself and for him, but he is out of line telling you business about his wife and marriage.

Is he a pastor or Sunday school teacher?
Is there some reason you CAN NOT avoid him or do you just choose not to?

You can't be a compassionate ear that will help him and his marriage heal. You are the "other woman". Even if he hasn't kissed you, he is commiting emotional adultery talking to you about issues he should talk with his wife or a trained marriage counselor about.

Do you actually want to help him or do you just want to own him and not be lonely?

If you want to help him and yourself, you will not meet with him privately and stop finding reasons why he should be divorced and with you instead.

*****
Titus: 2. 2. That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. 3. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4. That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 6. Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. 7. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, 8. Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you. 11. For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, 12. Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; 13. Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ; 14. Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works. 15. These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee. -
 

Fenner

Senior Member
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#40
Broken Hearted, I was harsh because I'm married. I don't know this man and his particular problem, but the advice given about him seeking help from a male friend or woman family member is right on.

If they eventually divorce on their terms and he is no longer married, then he'd be free to date.

I did something very wrong during the first few year's of my marriage. My Husband and I were having problems, nothing out of the. normal for a couple. Money issues, some other thing's. I talked to a male friend about a lot of it for a long time. I leaned on him, I called him to talk, I didn't go to my Husband it was him I'd talk to. I was so confused and felt so guilty because I started to really care about this other person. One night my male friend and I were talking and he told me that he was in love with me. I didn't know what to say. I led him on, I know I did and it was wrong. What I did was horribly wrong. I had an emotional affair with this man and it almost destroyed my marriage. I confessed everything to my Husband and he was hurt. I don't blame him. I had to cut ties with this friend. I apologized to him and asked both of them to forgive me. I'm still married and we worked through this.

My Husband was in a similar situation before with a female co worker. This was before my stuff happened with my friend. I was so extremely hurt and felt very betrayed. Nothing physical happened in either situation but the emotional stuff can ruin a marriage too.

We both learned a very hard lesson that almost broke us apart. This man is not doing you or his marriage any good by discussing his marital problems with you. You're a single woman and your not a relative. This will end in disaster for you. Guard your heart.

Even if if he did get divorced it's going to take him a long time before he should date again. He may just hop into another relationship with someone. Believe me you do not want it to be you. This man is not spiritually, physically or emotionally available. He's making it sound like he needs rescued and that can be a turn on. That sounds odd but some people think you can swoop in and fix everything for someone and then have this great love. It doesn't work like that, life isn't a Disney movie.

As far as I know there isn't anything in the Bible stating that it's okay to have a married man discuss his issues with you. It's wrong for him to do this, you need to advise him to seek help elsewhere.

Sorry if that's harsh but it's reality. I do wish you luck and I really hope you take the advice given to you. God wants you to give yourself to someone who's free. God bless.
 
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