How to deal with people who don't mean what they say?

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Deidre

Deidre

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2016
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I'm sure we've all run across people who say nice things to us, and maybe we think they are trust worthy, but then they prove to not be what they say. :( Can you point me to Scripture that speaks about this? (and besides praying for them, how to deal in an everyday way when we face these situations)
 
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[FONT=&quot]Proverbs 26:28[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A lying tongue hates those who are crushed by it, And a flatteringmouth works ruin.[/FONT]
 
If they are speaking in allusions, that is manipulation. IMO have nothing to do with them, you'll not change that dysfunction it is usually deep seated in pain and anger.
Proverbs 26:28
He who digs a pit will fall into it, And he who rolls a stone, it will come back on him. 28A lying tongue hates those it crushes, And a flattering mouth works ruin.
 
Deidre said:
Not all people who flatter do so with anything bad in mind So, how can we tell the difference? (without giving away too much trust too soon) Thank you for posting this.
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I can usually tell by the delivery, if it's "over the top" = fake. If it's like matter of fact, in passing = genuine.
 
Proverbs 11:13 (KJV) A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
 
Deidre said:
I'm sure we've all run across people who say nice things to us, and maybe we think they are trust worthy, but then they prove to not be what they say. :( Can you point me to Scripture that speaks about this? (and besides praying for them, how to deal in an everyday way when we face these situations)
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You really shouldn't have to be told HOW to deal with them. You get smart, and simply, DON'T.
 
Sometimes we are in circumstances in which we have to deal with such people I have to everyday because we live in the same house and the same room. I just keep being polite and kind I keep showing patience and love that is the only way I know to deal with it, though it doesn't seem to have made a difference at all lol
 
God gives us wisdom and discernment. He also gives us instinct. However because of our flesh, it can be extremely easy for the enemy to manipulate us into being deceived and extending trust to those who we shouldn't. Set yourself up with a few rules before sharing anything with anyone, and when you make a conscience choice to, ask God for that wisdom and discern and listen to your instinct! Being aware of the enemy's ploys on our flesh is extremely important in surviving in this world.
 
Deidre said:
Not all people who flatter do so with anything bad in mind So, how can we tell the difference? (without giving away too much trust too soon) Thank you for posting this.
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Some people refer to flattery as false and compliments as genuine. As a way to distinguish between the two. But not all people hold to these distinctions.

And Charlie: That seems to be a pretty inaccurate measurement. A good manipulator knows the right way to come across. So you set yourself up to be manipulated with that thinking. Meanwhile some people who just may come cross as over the top personalities will be dismissed despite being genuine. I know when I'm dating I can be a bit over the top, doesn't mean I'm insincere.
 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, don't lean on your own understanding (instinct, flesh); in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths. ~ Proverbs 3:5, 6

God teaches us wisdom so we don't have to use guess work or be in fear of being deceived. :o
 
Ugly said:
Some people refer to flattery as false and compliments as genuine. As a way to distinguish between the two. But not all people hold to these distinctions.

And Charlie: That seems to be a pretty inaccurate measurement. A good manipulator knows the right way to come across. So you set yourself up to be manipulated with that thinking. Meanwhile some people who just may come cross as over the top personalities will be dismissed despite being genuine. I know when I'm dating I can be a bit over the top, doesn't mean I'm insincere.
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Well that's true, nervous energy in a social situation can make anything seem over the top even if it is genuine. But if you run into people who constantly go to extremes to flatter, it should be an alert that maybe they are trying to gain a position in your mind. My statement sounded like it was blanket.
 
The person needs to earn our trust. Trusting someone takes time and patience. There really is no Scriptures for this other then just be cautious.
 
KenAllan said:
The person needs to earn our trust. Trusting someone takes time and patience. There really is no Scriptures for this other then just be cautious.
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Precisely. Use your instinct, it's God given, that still small voice inside that you know to be God's, that will set you up, very well equipped, to deal with the enemy. I liken the spiritual gift of discernment to "gut instinct," because sometimes discerning people just know when something's not quite right. Praying for discerning of spirits and the gift of wisdom is an ideal beginning. The gift of discernment is discussed in 1 Cor. 12:10.
 
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You are all so very wise, thank you! I believe in boundaries, and try to apply them when necessary. Such great advice, I feel truly blessed by your insights.
 
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