How to deal with people who don't mean what they say?

[laura_charlotte]

You are all so very wise, thank you! I believe in boundaries, and try to apply them when necessary. Such great advice, I feel truly blessed by your insights.

You're welcome! I write from the heart and it comes after years of working since I was 16 and dealing with all kinds of people, as well as my formal education. Most importantly my relationship with God, He's your everything in dealing with the enemy, never forget that! I pray that you'll have a positive road ahead.

 

[JaumeJ]

First we do not know the hearts of men. This ability is reserved for God Who knows everything and He will deal with all.

As for suspecting others of not meaning what they say, just do as we are taught by Jesus christ, judge for ourselves what is right. Remember when putting thisinto practice the words "for ourselves" are pivotal, and we do not judge to condemnation nor do we judge for others what is right..........

Now one may split a hair or two here, we are not refering to what we know to be sin. Unhappily, too many believe they are experts on the law because they claim to live in grace, yet these are the first to applyt laws to others.......go figure.

 

[trofimus]

I'm sure we've all run across people who say nice things to us, and maybe we think they are trust worthy, but then they prove to not be what they say. Can you point me to Scripture that speaks about this? (and besides praying for them, how to deal in an everyday way when we face these situations)

When someone gives you repeatedly wrong information (willingly or he/she is simply unable to get things right), it can destroy your life very easily.

If you can, do not deal with them.

In relationship - get away.

In marriage - pray.

 

[Deidre]

The person needs to earn our trust. Trusting someone takes time and patience. There really is no Scriptures for this other then just be cautious.

This is something I wonder about, should we be open with trusting people who ''seem'' kind, or should they ''earn'' our trust? I know that Jesus welcomed everyone, and didn't shun anyone, I don't think?

 

[Deidre]

First we do not know the hearts of men. This ability is reserved for God Who knows everything and He will deal with all.

As for suspecting others of not meaning what they say, just do as we are taught by Jesus christ, judge for ourselves what is right. Remember when putting thisinto practice the words "for ourselves" are pivotal, and we do not judge to condemnation nor do we judge for others what is right..........

Now one may split a hair or two here, we are not refering to what we know to be sin. Unhappily, too many believe they are experts on the law because they claim to live in grace, yet these are the first to applyt laws to others.......go figure.

Thank you for this, I understand what you're saying. I think maybe it's something I personally struggle with, trusting new people. I go into my mind thinking ''why is this person who I don't know, being nice to me?'' I wish I wasn't like this, but I've been hurt before and maybe this is where it comes from.

 

[JaumeJ]

You are right in your thinking, but at the same time it is good to keep in mind some of the other teachings from our Book which is Jesus Christ when understood in the Holy Spirit.

We are taught by Him to not confide in the flesh, not een in ourselves but trust God only. I used to think this a little strong, but experience has taught me the wisdom of this teaching.

As far as being hrt by others, we are also taught it is best to suffer for doing what is right in the sight of God than for doing what is wrong, also it is better to be a fool in the eyes ofman for the sake of our Father than to be a fool in our Fathers eyes for the sake of man.

We, fortunately, are always children in the sight of our Father, so we can always go to Him and ask an honest Why? He will always answer us, though sometimes it may take time..

From what you have just told me, you are already wise beyond most. God bless you and keep you always Deidre.......j

Thank you for this, I understand what you're saying. I think maybe it's something I personally struggle with, trusting new people. I go into my mind thinking ''why is this person who I don't know, being nice to me?'' I wish I wasn't like this, but I've been hurt before and maybe this is where it comes from.

 

[Deidre]

You are right in your thinking, but at the same time it is good to keep in mind some of the other teachings from our Book which is Jesus Christ when understood in the Holy Spirit.

We are taught by Him to not confide in the flesh, not een in ourselves but trust God only. I used to think this a little strong, but experience has taught me the wisdom of this teaching.

As far as being hrt by others, we are also taught it is best to suffer for doing what is right in the sight of God than for doing what is wrong, also it is better to be a fool in the eyes ofman for the sake of our Father than to be a fool in our Fathers eyes for the sake of man.

We, fortunately, are always children in the sight of our Father, so we can always go to Him and ask an honest Why? He will always answer us, though sometimes it may take time..

From what you have just told me, you are already wise beyond most. God bless you and keep you always Deidre.......j

Bolded the above, that really touches me. I don't know if I've ever heard it described like that, before. Thank you for taking the time to help me.

 

[Ariel82]

Not all people who flatter do so with anything bad in mind So, how can we tell the difference? (without giving away too much trust too soon) Thank you for posting this.

There is a difference between flattery and compliments....the first can be lies or told with bad intentions to soften you up...the second is fact and given just because they want to encourage and uplift you....

I normally tell the difference because people who flatter normally ask you for a favor or money soon after, or they like manipulating people into doing other things for power.

 

[Ariel82]

This is something I wonder about, should we be open with trusting people who ''seem'' kind, or should they ''earn'' our trust? I know that Jesus welcomed everyone, and didn't shun anyone, I don't think?

We should be kind and lovingly everyone. There is different levels of trust.

I trust most people to be good, honest, kind and godly..I am often disappointed but don't regret thinking the best of people.

However, I don't trust people who have hurt me in the past and I don't trust everyone with the care of my kids.

 

[pottersclay]

Then there are people who like to draw attention to themselves.

 

[Deidre]

We should be kind and lovingly everyone. There is different levels of trust.

I trust most people to be good, honest, kind and godly..I am often disappointed but don't regret thinking the best of people.

However, I don't trust people who have hurt me in the past and I don't trust everyone with the care of my kids.

''don't regret thinking the best of people.'' I just love how you put that! I often feel the opposite lol I regret when I've trusted someone and they prove to be unkind, and spend too much time analyzing why I didn't ''know better.'' But, I should stop doing this. I think of Jesus when Peter denied knowing Him, or Judas who betrayed Him, and He knew that before it happened, but on a human level, it had to have hurt Him, yet He forgave them. So there's that type of lesson in all this, too.

 

[oldethennew]

This is something I wonder about, should we be open with trusting people who ''seem'' kind, or should they ''earn'' our trust? I know that Jesus welcomed everyone, and didn't shun anyone, I don't think?

====================================================

always have an open and loving heart, but always allow and obey the discernment
that the Holy Spirit blesses you with, it will not only bring you joy, but it can also
save your life in these terrible times...

 

[Ariel82]

''don't regret thinking the best of people.'' I just love how you put that! I often feel the opposite lol I regret when I've trusted someone and they prove to be unkind, and spend too much time analyzing why I didn't ''know better.'' But, I should stop doing this. I think of Jesus when Peter denied knowing Him, or Judas who betrayed Him, and He knew that before it happened, but on a human level, it had to have hurt Him, yet He forgave them. So there's that type of lesson in all this, too.

Normally Before Jesus came into my life, I didn't trust anyone and always was paranoid and skeptical..thinking the worst of people and I was often proven right because they lived down to my low expectations of them.

Ever since Jesus came into my life, I learn to forgive and even though it's possible that people will be bad and untrustworthy at times..it's better to hope for their better natures to prevail than always expect the worst.

Everyone else has spiritual battles too, sometimes they win and sometimes they fail. We have to learn to love like God and forgive despite the betrayal.

 

[Deidre]

Normally Before Jesus came into my life, I didn't trust anyone and always was paranoid and skeptical..thinking the worst of people and I was often proven right because they lived down to my low expectations of them.

Ever since Jesus came into my life, I learn to forgive and even though it's possible that people will be bad and untrustworthy at times..it's better to hope for their better natures to prevail than always expect the worst.

Everyone else has spiritual battles too, sometimes they win and sometimes they fail. We have to learn to love like God and forgive despite the betrayal.

Amen to this.

Yes, to love like God. It can be hard, but it's harder to not love like Him, I've discovered. Always wondering if someone might hurt you, is a terrible way to go through life. And it robs you of all the beauty and joy God has in store for us.

 

[seed_time_harvest]

Not all people who flatter do so with anything bad in mind So, how can we tell the difference? (without giving away too much trust too soon) Thank you for posting this.

Just be obedient.After GOD has told you what to do.As you have received CHRIST,so walk ye In him.We all received CHRIST by grace through faith.

We are GOD's workmanship created In CHRIST unto good works that was before ordained that we should walk In them.