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A
Nope, my husband has some irksome habits but none on my deal breaker list I shared.
He is a gentleman, he loves my cooking (most days), he has his own plans and dreams ...we plan our future together, he has many friends who love him (three showed up at the hospital after the birth of our first child because he was the only one who could talk one friend out of depression...the others worried he would hurt himself more, he had already kicked a wall and broke his toe.), he loves kids, we are married for 11 years now, etc.
Some of the things in my list (unedited not shared) God showed me were not that important but a big one was my husband had to love God and be a spiritual and godly man. He needed to know how to put the needs of the people he loved before himself and the calling to do good from God before even me.
He is a gentleman, he loves my cooking (most days), he has his own plans and dreams ...we plan our future together, he has many friends who love him (three showed up at the hospital after the birth of our first child because he was the only one who could talk one friend out of depression...the others worried he would hurt himself more, he had already kicked a wall and broke his toe.), he loves kids, we are married for 11 years now, etc.
Some of the things in my list (unedited not shared) God showed me were not that important but a big one was my husband had to love God and be a spiritual and godly man. He needed to know how to put the needs of the people he loved before himself and the calling to do good from God before even me.
R
My wife, I love Her with all my heart. When we first married she couldn't cook a grilled cheese. She thought I was God and served me burnt offerings every night. But, I ate it. Now we are older and she has been diagnosed with MS. Now I cook her meals and serve Her burnt offerings every night and she eats it. I love my wife, we have been through thick and thin. Some say marriage is made in heaven and so is thundering and lighting. We love each other and have never cheated on each other. Tested, yes, tempted yes, but Our God kept us. My wife is the best human being on this Earth for me and we met at church. Praise God. The best song I can think of for a perfect wife is a secular song and it is somekinda a wonderful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTuIXtXUEw4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTuIXtXUEw4
Exactly. So this notion that "it should stay between the husband and wife" is nonsense. Because these are the same folks that are going to their closest friends for relationship advice. It's personal stuff, and I actually would be a little embarrassed if I had a wife talking to one of her friends something that deep of a level. I can't speak for other men on here. I would imagine women on here would feel embarrassed if their husband went to one of his buddies and told them what was going on.
Matthew 18.
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’
Matthew 18:15*-16 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/mat.18.15-16.NKJV
Sometimes you have to get a moderator. The consequences of divorce are very severe. The time for reconcile is now in the bible. With brother to brother and parenting. If we let things fester, it only leads to bitterness and incredible gaps in relations. I believe this is a major reason we get to divorce. One or both refuse to get counseling. Pride just makes the walls thicker and thicker.
When one or 5 both choose to be unreconsilable or is in sin, somthing must be done. We're talking about destroying a home here, not to mention the faith of the children.
If you notice this scripture comes right off the heels of a lot of things Jesus said about stumbling children and gives a stern warning about it.
Some need to feel shame for how they live and treat their family. Shame and the fear of it can be great motivators.
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’
Matthew 18:15*-16 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/mat.18.15-16.NKJV
Sometimes you have to get a moderator. The consequences of divorce are very severe. The time for reconcile is now in the bible. With brother to brother and parenting. If we let things fester, it only leads to bitterness and incredible gaps in relations. I believe this is a major reason we get to divorce. One or both refuse to get counseling. Pride just makes the walls thicker and thicker.
When one or 5 both choose to be unreconsilable or is in sin, somthing must be done. We're talking about destroying a home here, not to mention the faith of the children.
If you notice this scripture comes right off the heels of a lot of things Jesus said about stumbling children and gives a stern warning about it.
Some need to feel shame for how they live and treat their family. Shame and the fear of it can be great motivators.
The feelings will come back when you engage on your part obediently to the Lord. Regardless of what the other is doing or not doing. Life is a one on one with you and God. Everything you do is about your relationship with Him. Everything.
The problem I found is, that you resent the feelings when they do come bc you don't think they deserve your forgiveness and reconciliation.
The problem I found is, that you resent the feelings when they do come bc you don't think they deserve your forgiveness and reconciliation.
K
Ya,I have a serious problem with that. My mother,sister,best friend know nothing about my intimate life with my husband,not even if we are upset with each other. We keep our lives private,as it should be. And I certainly wouldn't be sharing that info with a man. What people do and what is right are two different things.
My parents had friends from the church when I was young. I remember the woman was always complaining about her husband and how he'd never touch her,on and on,in front of my parents. I never cared for the woman and less so as I grew older. I don't know why people do that,to get people on their side I suppose. Its says something about their character. IMO
My parents had friends from the church when I was young. I remember the woman was always complaining about her husband and how he'd never touch her,on and on,in front of my parents. I never cared for the woman and less so as I grew older. I don't know why people do that,to get people on their side I suppose. Its says something about their character. IMO
I agree that your intimate life needs to be totally private!
However, if there's a problem like, it's not happening, or like it's a monthly, quarterly or annual event, then you need to get help from a Pastor, Godly counselor or elder of some type. That is an issue that is avoided, abused or neglected all too often.
So if you want to keep it private, cultivate it and treat it as the high responsibility you have with one another. It's that important.
However, if there's a problem like, it's not happening, or like it's a monthly, quarterly or annual event, then you need to get help from a Pastor, Godly counselor or elder of some type. That is an issue that is avoided, abused or neglected all too often.
So if you want to keep it private, cultivate it and treat it as the high responsibility you have with one another. It's that important.
A husband or wife going to the opposite sex is wrong. But let's not ignore the fact there are Christian couples that go to their respective genders on how to improve if someone has been lacking. Not just that, but they even go to a pastor or a therapist. I think it's kinda wrong, but it's ultimately unavailable. I don't think that's what God had in mind.
I think consulting a pastor or therapist is completely OK because you have a reasonable hope of positive change, and both have an ethical requirement to keep things confidential.
Gossiping is not at all OK because it serves only a selfish end, makes things worse, and those involved likely will not keep anything confidential.
Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
I Corinthians 7:2*-5 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1co.7.2-5.NKJV
You're wrong, depriving each other in marriage is sin. It's akin to infidelity. Why would God make such a big deal out of fornication? There's a time and place and purpose for it. Anyone who doesn't understand this is either hard hearted or a Eunich.
No someone shouldn't be publicly humiliated, noticed I stopped short of that verse. Marriage is a whole different deal than just the average sinner who won't repent.
If the man can't perform,he still needs to try to solve that. If he's just selfish and doesn't care about satisfying his wife, he's selfish and needs to repent.
If the wife is an indifferent shrew or has a bunch of emotional baggage from her past, she needs to get the help she needs, and not maybe someday. It needs to be a priority. If she's not willing, she's in sin.
Note: Paul said, because of your weakness, don't deprive each other. Often times we think we're getting away with sin, only to have it blow up, way down the road and then it does heavy damage, humiliation and pain.
Why is this so hard? This is a major problem in marriage? How did we screw this up? Do you ever wonder what the angels think of us sometimes?
I Corinthians 7:2*-5 NKJV
http://bible.com/114/1co.7.2-5.NKJV
You're wrong, depriving each other in marriage is sin. It's akin to infidelity. Why would God make such a big deal out of fornication? There's a time and place and purpose for it. Anyone who doesn't understand this is either hard hearted or a Eunich.
No someone shouldn't be publicly humiliated, noticed I stopped short of that verse. Marriage is a whole different deal than just the average sinner who won't repent.
If the man can't perform,he still needs to try to solve that. If he's just selfish and doesn't care about satisfying his wife, he's selfish and needs to repent.
If the wife is an indifferent shrew or has a bunch of emotional baggage from her past, she needs to get the help she needs, and not maybe someday. It needs to be a priority. If she's not willing, she's in sin.
Note: Paul said, because of your weakness, don't deprive each other. Often times we think we're getting away with sin, only to have it blow up, way down the road and then it does heavy damage, humiliation and pain.
Why is this so hard? This is a major problem in marriage? How did we screw this up? Do you ever wonder what the angels think of us sometimes?