Does he like me or is he just being a gentleman?

[spunkycat08]

Why does romantic and friendly have to be mutually exclusive? I'd rather have something progress organically than by force.

Being upfront prevents confusion... hopefully.

 

[Sirk]

I think where people get sideways is that they are "upfront" with other people's feelings instead of their own.

 

[spunkycat08]

I think where people get sideways is that they are "upfront" with other people's feelings instead of their own.

Then be upfront with your own feelings instead.

Problem solved.

 

[Sirk]

Then be upfront with your own feelings instead.

Problem solved.

if it were that easy the family forum wouldn't be littered with broken relationships and false starts.

 

[spunkycat08]

if it were that easy the family forum wouldn't be littered with broken relationships and false starts.

My answer to the OP's problem is this...

God needs to be involved in the very beginning.

Both of them need his guidance and wisdom.

God will tell them what he wants for the 2 of them.

Because God knows what is best for the 2 of them.

 

[Sirk]

My answer to the OP's problem is this...

God needs to be involved in the very beginning.

Both of them need his guidance and wisdom.

God will tell them what he wants for the 2 of them.

Because God knows what is best for the 2 of them.

While that is true and also a nice religious sentiment it still doesn't get to the heart of the matter. And that is that most people don't know how to communicate their feelings or even know what it is they are feeling.

 

[spunkycat08]

While that is true and also a nice religious sentiment it still doesn't get to the heart of the matter. And that is that most people don't know how to communicate their feelings or even know what it is they are feeling.

Then according to you exactly what is the solution to this problem?

 

[Sirk]

Then according to you exactly what is the solution to this problem?

To be open honest and vulnerable. Love is risky.

 

[spunkycat08]

To be open honest and vulnerable. Love is risky.

And that is what the OP and her male friend need to do.

 

[Sirk]

And that is what the OP and her male friend need to do.

She can only control herself. What he does is up to him.

 

[Sirk]

We have to educate people as to how we will be treated. If people don't play by our rules then we have a choice to make. We can try to change them (which never works) we can keep them around and hope they change while they continually cross the line (which rarely works) or we can jettison them from our lives. If we are married to one we probably made a bad choice.

 

[spunkycat08]

She can only control herself. What he does is up to him.

Tell him and leave the ball in his court.

 

[Ultimatum77]

We have to educate people as to how we will be treated. If people don't play by our rules then we have a choice to make. We can try to change them (which never works) we can keep them around and hope they change while they continually cross the line (which rarely works) or we can jettison them from our lives. If we are married to one we probably made a bad choice.

In other words you either hug them like Barney if they're nice or pull a soulja boy and superman that person...if they suck....

 

[spunkycat08]

We have to educate people as to how we will be treated. If people don't play by our rules then we have a choice to make. We can try to change them (which never works) we can keep them around and hope they change while they continually cross the line (which rarely works) or we can jettison them from our lives. If we are married to one we probably made a bad choice.

Which is what the OP needs to do.

 

[spunkycat08]

The OP and her male *friend* ended up in the grey area, which is a murky area of 1) uncertainty, 2) frustration, and 3) irritation.

Why would anyone want to end up in the grey area?

 

[Deidre]

He sounds interested. That's what interest ''looks like.'' I hope that he asks you out, if it is meant to be, and God's will.

 

[Tintin]

He sounds interested. That's what interest ''looks like.'' I hope that he asks you out, if it is meant to be, and God's will.

Hi sister, I couldn't find a way to PM you, so I'll just leave this here. You asked a question in the Many Wives thread concerning slavery and the Bible. I responded. Hope you find it helpful. (It's Post #418)

http://christianchat.com/bible-discussion-forum/141131-many-wives-sin-21.html#post2784098

 

[zeroturbulence]

Another chance for a beautiful relationship bites the dust...

 

[violakat]

A. I know many men who believe that if a woman eats out with them, even if it's platonic, they should pay the bill. So, this is not really a reliable way of seeing if he likes you. (Although, based on some of the other things in your original post, it did come across that way.)

B. Relationships quite frequently start from friendships. And he maybe trying to take it slow, not rush things. He also may have a hard time expressing his feelings.

C. I agree with Sirk, don't try to pressure him and find out his feelings. Let your friendship grow organically. He's called you a good friend. You have an answer for now. Could it progress from there, who knows? But definitely keep praying and seeking God.

 

[Tintin]

A. I know many men who believe that if a woman eats out with them, even if it's platonic, they should pay the bill. So, this is not really a reliable way of seeing if he likes you. (Although, based on some of the other things in your original post, it did come across that way.)

Really? Really? That sounds a bit silly and not appropriate and not the least bit fair.