Affair in the marriage

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Ultimatum77

Guest
#21
#21
I pray the Lord heals your heart/emotions from this trauma caused by your wife....and that you should pray for God to redeem your wife either by God doing it gently or by God allowing a storm in her life to get her attention. If she has no remorse for her sin there is somethign wrong with her salvation and she is either back slidden or was not even saved at all initially.....

I can only imagine your anxiety/grief due to this situation and pray that God consoles you and gives you direction for steps to take going on....
 
Namiette

Namiette

Senior Member
#22
Feb 13, 2016
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#22
I am very sorry for what you're going through, I think I can imagine what a pain you feel.
I'm praying for you and for your wife. It seems to me that she is in need of prayer though she may not know it.
 
Marcelo

Marcelo

Senior Member
#23
Feb 4, 2016
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#23
If she remains unrepentant there is no choice but divorce. If this is the case, I hope God will prepare a loving and faithful wife for you, so that you two form one body and walk together towards heaven.
 
HoneyDew

HoneyDew

Senior Member
#24
Apr 30, 2011
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#24
CharlieGrown said:
Maybe some ladies on the forum can answer this question. Where does the above reasoning come from? It seems to be the default defense when a wife is caught cheating. I've heard it a lot and am just curious. I've never heard of a man saying "I was a straight arrow growing up and I just wanted to feel what it's like to be bad, that's why I had an affair..."

Praying for you gogo.
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Sounds to me like she missed her lifestyle before marriage and going to church. Whatever those bad things were.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#25
#25
gogo_camaro said:
She gave her life to God July 2014. A month before we started dating.
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Were you involved in her getting saved? Did you two have interest in each other beforehand?
 
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NatureFanatic79

Guest
#27
#27
CharlieGrown said:
Maybe some ladies on the forum can answer this question. Where does the above reasoning come from? It seems to be the default defense when a wife is caught cheating.
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It's not reasoning at all to me. No reasonable person wants to be bad. IMO, it's words that spew out when caught to cover a mistake they made. I'm a woman and have no desire to be a bad person. In fact, quite the opposite.. I strive to be the best I can be. To me, there's a difference between maybe missing pre-married life and being bad. I miss sleeping since I had a child 10 years ago. That doesn't mean I drop her off on a block and leave her because I want to go back to my past life and sleep a bit. I think woman who use those words are just covering deeper issues.
 
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gogo_camaro

Guest
#28
#28
Ugly said:
Were you involved in her getting saved? Did you two have interest in each other beforehand?
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No and no. I do fear that maybe she isn't though and just put on a good show.
 
PeterJens

PeterJens

Banned
#29
Feb 24, 2015
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#29
The problem with intimate relationships is we have serious emotional stake in them
that is not easy to define.

If we really can see our partner and their state, and the real need they have to do
something else or to be loved and share, it often makes the next step obvious.

Too many cannot face the question, do they love me? What is really at stake for
them. If one is just a means to an end, then that is not a proper relationship,
it is just being used and abused. But only the individuals can ask these questions,
because whatever road is taken it is emotionally tough,

God bless, may the Lord give you healing and peace, and lead you in His ways,
T
 
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beachin

Member
#30
Mar 26, 2016
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#30
Sorry for all you are going through. I actually do not necessarily believe "once a cheater always a cheater" like some on here. I have good friends and family where their marriages have survived different levels of infidelity while mine did not. I think it lies with the person's heart - are they repentant or just sorry for getting caught. If they are just sorry for getting caught (even if they claim to be repentant), then I do agree that once a cheater, always a cheater. The fact that you are already seeing signs that she is not truly repentant does make the situation harder to work through. I think you are also being very discerning in questioning her salvation and wondering if maybe it was all for "show." If she remains unrepentant, unfortunately the marriage won't survive. However, we never know how God will work in a situation. The best advice I could give would be for you to remain cautious and discerning and focus on yourself and growing closer to God. He will guide you so that you can have peace about whatever decisions need to be made because you know you are following what God wants you to do.
 
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popeye

Guest
#31
#31
Her role as a wife has been perverted.

At this point you got to muster courage and separate. Then you can see clearly.

You can't clearly see what you need to do while still with her. If it is God to get back together,then so be it. But get on up to the mountain (away from her) and see what God has for you. He will show you.
 
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popeye

Guest
#32
#32
I can pick a good girl for you.

2 Kinds out there Saved,sold out to God,and then the heathen.

But no,there are 2 more

Sweetiepies

Racehorses.

You want to be happy? get a sweetiepie. A sold out one
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#33
Feb 21, 2014
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#33
I said this on a different adultery thread, but I'll say it again: I am truly shocked and baffled at how many married "christian" couples are going through divorce and adultery issues. Is it something in the water or what? :confused:
 
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popeye

Guest
#34
#34
blue_ladybug said:
I said this on a different adultery thread, but I'll say it again: I am truly shocked and baffled at how many married "christian" couples are going through divorce and adultery issues. Is it something in the water or what? :confused:
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I always say you got to be out shopping to "buy"

They need to stop shopping after marriage. That might stop the "buying"
 
lv2ski

lv2ski

Senior Member
#35
Aug 20, 2016
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#35
blue_ladybug said:
I said this on a different adultery thread, but I'll say it again: I am truly shocked and baffled at how many married "christian" couples are going through divorce and adultery issues. Is it something in the water or what? :confused:
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Yes there is something in the Water. But they don't read it so it doesn't have that cleansing affect.

The Bible, this book will keep you from sin, or sin will keep you from this book.
 
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beachin

Member
#36
Mar 26, 2016
31
0
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#36
blue_ladybug said:
I said this on a different adultery thread, but I'll say it again: I am truly shocked and baffled at how many married "christian" couples are going through divorce and adultery issues. Is it something in the water or what? :confused:
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It is very shocking - not only those on here, but everywhere. I recently was approached by my FIFTH friend just in the last 3 years since my marriage crumbled apart come to me as she found out about her husband's infidelity. And I mean a friend, not just a general acquaintance. However, in talking to these women (I'm not saying that it is only men who are cheating, but women are just who come to me) and my own situation, MOST of the time, we have questioned the person's salvation. Other factors usually come to light and we can see things in their life that make us tend to believe they were not truly saved, it was just an act. I'm not saying that all of the cheating spouses are unsaved and I am not saying that we truly know somebody's heart. I'm just saying I'm not sure how many that profess to be "Christian" and end up cheating were truly saved...
 
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