Yes, this is an ongoing thing. It is an issue that will only be resolved by permanent separation.
It has come to light that the uncle's son did the planning and inviting. He only invited the control freak, asking her to pass the invitation along to the others. You can guess where it did and did not go from there.
And again, the uncle is 300 miles away. Not exactly 'go early take him to dinner' convenient. But now we know where the fault lies... and it's not with the uncle and aunt.
From the sound of it, your aunt and uncle would love to see you and your wife.
You can be like the world, looking for fault, stating hurt and bitter that this sister is like the world (looking for her selfish interest), continue to focus on yourself, your hurt, you selfrighteous anger at being excluded...or...
You can give the pain to Jesus. Lay it at the cross and forgive the sister. Forgive and pray for her to come to know Jesus and be born again.
Then move forward.
Yes it's inconvenient to travel that far.
Yes it would be easier if you went with the sisters and not have to plan hotels or could car pool..,
However is easier always better?
Do you and your wife really want to spend that much time with her sisters? Perhaps them not including you in their hotel accommodations is a blessing? Personally I would praise God and find my own place to stay or go camping nearby my uncle's house.
It comes down to...is it worth spending time with your wife's uncle on HIS very special day? Especially considering that God might call him back home soon.
Don't make the party about pettiness and unforgiveness.
Choose love and Christ's way over the world's way of placing blame and holding onto bitterness.
Focus on the love for the uncle and make it a special time for HIM.
God bless and keep you Ricky. I know you are a wonderful loving brother in Christ. Let the rest of the world know it too, forgive them and pray for them even when they mistreat you...or more to the point, your heart/wife.
Your wife doesn't need your anger or protection..she just needs your love and support with whatever she decides. In the end it's her choice to attend, send a present, make a phone call or just stay mad.