Hi Seapanda
Welcome to Christian Chat
I am actually going through something similar (although, it's not me really questioning what is of God in my life and what isn't, but more a desire of mine to live life the way He wants me to) and I believe, through the grace of the Holy Spirit, I have received some understanding that has been working for me....maybe it can help you too
In order to live a life that is completely surrendered to God, I believe you have to have the highest trust and adoration for His standards of living. Meaning, the guidelines He's set out for us in His word and in the example of the life Jesus lead. When I looked at the ways of the world, briefly considered other religions and 'gods' out there, I came to a place of completely adoring our Father and His plan for mankind. If all of humanity lived the way He asked us to, the world would be a beautiful place
For me, the second step was to completely abandon my desires for how I wanted my life to turn out. I lay down all of MY aspirations down at His feet in complete faith that whatever HIS plan was for me, it would be infinitely better than I could ever create on my own. And even if my only reward from surrendering my life to Him comes when I get to heaven, I'm still more than satisfied with that. I was honest with Him when I did it. I told Him that certain desires are still in my heart (marriage, to own my own business, etc.), but that I will surrender them all in favor of His will for my life. I have this conversation with Him daily. Sometimes I have to surrender myself to Him several times a day. Each time I ask for only one thing in return - that He would give me clear and direct guidance, in every moment.
Third, if I am ever in doubt about what I should do in any particular circumstance, and I doubt whether something I'm about to do is His will or mine, I will sit in His word until I have found an answer. I trust that the Holy Spirit will reveal to me somehow through His word the answer that I need. And He really has graciously come through every time.
The more time I have spent repeating the above three steps, the more I've been able to "sense" what the will of God would be in a situation without me having to read the bible, because I've become familiar with His nature and expectations from spending time in His word. AND if I make the wrong decision sometimes, usually the Holy Spirit will let me know in a very distinct way...but it's hard to explain.
Your desire to draw closer to Him is beautiful
And seeking to discuss these things with your brothers and sisters in Christ is of Him. It's in His word
I believe that he will honor your desire for more of Him, and will make things clearer for you as you continue to seek Him above all things. It's worth ALL the effort
May God bless you Seapanda!