are they all the same????

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setapart

Guest
#1
#1
I just went through a phase thinking all men are the same. Which i must be honest, my mentality has not changed. Everytime i am sorrounded by guys they tend to prove me right. Christians and none christians. It's gotten to the point i dispise all guys that even look at me and approach me. It's true young and old guys do have the same level of maturity. I dont mean to insult anyone but that's what it seems like. although, yesterday i started believing that their are special guys out there. I might not have met him yet but it made me happy to think that their is hope. How can you tell when a guy is honest and truthful? A man after God's heart. How can i tell if he is being real and not playing his game? How can i tell that he wants to get to know me because i have a brain and finds me amazing than just interested in me physically. I have seen it all, guys that are sweet and only focus on God to get my attention and then out of knowhere turn out to be players. any advice?

I also wanted to say i love my freedom, i feel like a bird that can't be stopped. I love moving when i please and how i please. I enjoy going out and helping people, nature and music. I'm kind of a free spirit, i dont know if i can commit. Most guys i meet want to tie me down, which automatically turns me off. They want me to lower myself so they can feel powerful; trying to change me to their liking, but i can't it is not that i think i am better, i just love being free.
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ChristianTeen

Guest
#2
#2
I know exactly how you feel and have asked these questions many times. Any help anyone can give will be appreciated!
 
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BellaFlor

Guest
#3
#3
It is easy to feel like all men are bad if you have been going through some bad experiences, also with other types of people. I can also get a bit like that at times, especially if I have got a lot hurt and disappointed in life. Still, it is indeed a bad way if we keep on seeing everyone on the same boat, just because we have met many that have disappointed us, and also hurt us in some ways. If you have met guys that have only played with you or that also wants to change you, then they are certainly not the right guy for you.

I beleive that in God's Timing you will meet a man that will respect you, admire you and love you for who you are. And he will love whole of you, both your amazing personality and also your physical part. Right now it is best that you just keep yourself right focused on the Lord and keep on waiting for the right one to come your way. There are also many great Christian guys out there, but most of them aren't so very visible in the crowd of many other worldly based out guys. The best is to keep yourself more close to the Lord, and trust Him with His Timing for you, because only His Timing is totally Perfect! :)
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#4
#4
Indeed they are all the same.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#5
#5
I had a bad girilfriend once.......are all girls the same???? :confused:
 
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nanabean

Guest
#6
#6
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Indeed they are all the same.
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Then again....maybe not!!!!! :D

Matthew said:
I had a bad girilfriend once.......are all girls the same???? :confused:
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No..they aren't.

I am married now for 24 plus years, and my hubby comes from a family of five, count em, five brothers. No sisters, just the five guys. Not any two of them are remotely "the same" !!! While I love all five of them, there is not one of them I would have been compatible to marry except for the one I did! My own three brothers are each very different from the others as well, although we see more simularities between them, than Papabean and his brothers. So no, all men are not the same (nor are woman) however, I do think that we tend to be drawn to the same type of guy (or girl) and therein can lay the problem if you seem to always be going through the "same" kind of hurt with relationships. Maybe time away from dating might help......I don't know...I'm not an expert on dating, but I do beleive a person should feel good about themselves and be secure in who they are before tackling a serious relationship. Being "free" like setapart mentioned is not a bad thing....it's just that if you also want a relationship then it takes consideration and love to make it all work. From both sides.
 
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Matthew

Guest
#8
#8
nanabean said:
So no, all men are not the same (nor are woman) however, I do think that we tend to be drawn to the same type of guy (or girl) and therein can lay the problem if you seem to always be going through the "same" kind of hurt with relationships.
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Well that is the blindingly obvious truth. :)

It comes down to luck for the most part, some people find certain qualities appealing that seem to go hand in hand with other qualities.....more of the bad ones and so ofen it's one bad relationship after another.

But whatever one individuals experiences......please leave me out of it......I am me......no one man is responsible for all other men and I am really tired of this 'men are all alike' rubbish, it's wrong, juvenile and simply offensive to the men out there that dare to make a claim to real maturity.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#9
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
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#9
Where have I heard all this before?? hmmmmm...
 
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nanabean

Guest
#10
#10
Matthew said:
Well that is the blindingly obvious truth. :)

It comes down to luck for the most part, some people find certain qualities appealing that seem to go hand in hand with other qualities.....more of the bad ones and so ofen it's one bad relationship after another.

But whatever one individuals experiences......please leave me out of it......I am me......no one man is responsible for all other men and I am really tired of this 'men are all alike' rubbish, it's wrong, juvenile and simply offensive to the men out there that dare to make a claim to real maturity.
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I don't know as I would call it luck, or chosing wisely, but yes...I agree....a person should not be (ugh..I hate even using this word in here!) "judged" by the whole of their gender! It IS insulting, as is saying all teens are trouble, all woman never look under the hood of a car, all dads never change diapers, etc etc etc...... Not any one person should be taken only as far as a stereotype will get them!!!
 
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nanabean

Guest
#11
#11
zeroturbulence said:
Where have I heard all this before?? hmmmmm...
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I don't know..where?? :) Pray tell..was there another thread before this one?? noooo really?? do we do that in here???? hahahhaa
 
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Matthew

Guest
#12
#12
nanabean said:
I don't know as I would call it luck, or chosing wisely
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By luck I mean no-one can choose what kind of personality traits they find attractive, it is just a case of randomness as we are drawn to certain qualities and that's just the way it is, we can make good choices but we can't alter what we find attractive and what we don't.

So if a woman finds a certain type of man attractive that happens to also be prone to certain kinds of selfish behaviour then she can't help that, she likes who she likes and to a point there's nothing that can be done to change that.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#13
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#13
nanabean said:
I don't know..where?? :) Pray tell..was there another thread before this one?? noooo really?? do we do that in here???? hahahhaa
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There is no other thread that I am aware of. It is just that I seem to hear this sort of thing often: Men are all the same...why cant I meet a nice guy for a change...

Nice guys usually never get a chance because 1) they are shy and 2) they are overlooked for their more confident counterparts. Therein lies the problem (as I see it anyway).
 
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nanabean

Guest
#14
#14
Matthew said:
By luck I mean no-one can choose what kind of personality traits they find attractive, it is just a case of randomness as we are drawn to certain qualities and that's just the way it is, we can make good choices but we can't alter what we find attractive and what we don't.

O.k. I think I agree with this.......

So if a woman finds a certain type of man attractive that happens to also be prone to certain kinds of selfish behaviour then she can't help that, she likes who she likes and to a point there's nothing that can be done to change that.
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I even think I agree with this too...up to a point as you say, because "she" certainly CAN change tactics to where she looks for and finds in a man what she needs, as well as what she wants in a relationship. As you and I both have been saying, men are NOT "all the same" and so she needs to keep looking, and also be aware of what she is attracted to, and what she is not, and watch for (without assuming its there just because its been there in earlier relationships) the unwanted traits that often "go with" the other traits that she IS attracted to.

get it?? did I just make sense or no???
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#15
Jul 17, 2009
491
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#15
I think all women are the same....... Am I right? Of course not. Then you are not right either.

Do we really feel any different? I think our genders need to understand each other more to stop these feelings on both sides.
 
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setapart

Guest
#16
#16
thanks for you words, some of your opinions i found interesting to say the least. but i do believe that it is true some men are different, maybe? maturity is key point! women are not being immature by expressing this but men by not listening and getting defensive. God bless!
 
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Matthew

Guest
#17
#17
nanabean said:
I even think I agree with this too...up to a point as you say, because "she" certainly CAN change tactics to where she looks for and finds in a man what she needs, as well as what she wants in a relationship. As you and I both have been saying, men are NOT "all the same" and so she needs to keep looking, and also be aware of what she is attracted to, and what she is not, and watch for (without assuming its there just because its been there in earlier relationships) the unwanted traits that often "go with" the other traits that she IS attracted to.

get it?? did I just make sense or no???
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message understood....and agreed with. :)
 
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Matthew

Guest
#18
#18
setapart said:
women are not being immature by expressing this but men by not listening and getting defensive. God bless!
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One could easily argue it is immature to express a viewpoint so clearly unsupported, challenging that isn't defensive, but simply necessary.

Maturity is a very rare thing and most everytime someone claims to have it......they do not.
 
eugenius

eugenius

Senior Member
#19
Jul 17, 2009
491
9
18
#19
setapart said:
thanks for you words, some of your opinions i found interesting to say the least. but i do believe that it is true some men are different, maybe? maturity is key point! women are not being immature by expressing this but men by not listening and getting defensive. God bless!
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You are wrong. There are immature people on both sides. I want a mature woman as much as you want a mature man.
 
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setapart

Guest
#20
#20
Matthew said:
By luck I mean no-one can choose what kind of personality traits they find attractive, it is just a case of randomness as we are drawn to certain qualities and that's just the way it is, we can make good choices but we can't alter what we find attractive and what we don't.

So if a woman finds a certain type of man attractive that happens to also be prone to certain kinds of selfish behaviour then she can't help that, she likes who she likes and to a point there's nothing that can be done to change that.
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hmmm? I agree to certain extent but you cannot say that a girl draws all these conclusions because she's attractive to certain types of guys. That is just like me stating all men are the same.
 
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