Well, I think all of us have opinions about other countries that are colored by the society we live in. I can't tell you how many negative things I've heard about the French, but the people I've met from France are wonderful people and very kind. Often, it is due to misunderstanding about social behaviours or because we all, whether we admit it or not, are a bit uncomfortable with anything or anyone "different". It takes going outside of your comfort zone, which sadly many are not willing to do. I am sorry that you have not felt welcomed by the people where you live, eugenius. And I know you were generalizing for the sake of posting (and Pheonix as well), but I hope you realize that there are exceptions to every generalization. I don't pretend to be perfect, and I don't pretend that my country is perfect. But no country, no group of people is perfect.
I feel that this thread has painfully derailed off topic, so perhaps we can get back to the subject of whether or not they're "all the same" (either gender). There are some qualities that most men share, and qualities that most women share. But, really, we're all individuals so, no, we're not all the same. Even if, by first appearance, it looks that way, you'd be surprised what you see when you get to know someone. There are all kinds of personalities out there, among men and among women. If you seem to end up dating the "same guy" each time you start a new relationship, I'd instead look to see what all of these guys have in common that would draw you to them and interest you. Maybe, to find the kind of guy you're wanting, you need to step way outside of the realm of guys you'd normally consider. Just a thought, not trying to pressure you to go date someone you have absolutely no interest in, "just because" they're different.
I still think you're better off starting as friends.
As for our roles in marriage, the Bible is very simple in what it tells us. It tells wives to submit to (to respect) their husbands, and it tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. Now, in a perfect world, this wouldn't be a problem. However, we live in a world that is cursed with sin, and Satan loves to meddle in relationships. We've been taught all about "feminism" for years, how it's such a positive thing, etc. Do I believe women deserve respect? Yes. Do I believe that women are capable of being intelligent? Yes. Do I believe women are capable of doing most things that a man does? Yes. But I don't believe that feminism has done us any good. Sure, women can work outside of the home (though they still don't make as much as men, according to studies that have been done). Sure, they can become high-powered executives, or many other jobs or roles that have been traditionally held by men. But, if anything, I see that I get less respect now than women did before. No, I'm not a porcelain doll that needs to be protected from everything. I am intelligent, and I believe that God has given me talents to use to serve Him and build His kingdom, outside of taking care of a husband and children (though I have always felt that has been what God has called me to). But I believe that a man has the responsibility of being in charge of the household, of being the spiritual role model, of having active participation in his children's lives, especially when it comes to spiritual teaching. I believe that decisions should be made together, that children should be raised together, that both have a responsibility to do their part around the home (how much responsibility each person takes depends on the job situation and what each couple decides for themselves, but it shouldn't all fall on one person's shoulders). But, I definitely see that women get less respect, all for the sake of being treated "equally". I know that some women don't care much for chivalry, but it's because their perspective regarding chivalrous actions has been colored by "feminism". It's not demeaning to have doors held open and chairs pulled out for you; it's a sign of respect, and I've always seen it as such. But outside of the men I know at church, the guys I run into aren't very kind. I have guys run to cut in front of me, either in line or to get through a door, and will let doors shut in my face. They speak crudely in front of me, they openly gawk at women and some make inappropriate comments about the way women look or what they are wearing. While not every man fits the generalizations I have made above, it seems that the majority of the men I know from church are much more respectful; they are the least likely to speak crudely in front of women (in fact, my guy friends will often remove themselves when they have something of that nature to share), they hold doors open for women, I've never seen them gawking at women, and are the least likely to expect their wives to be "barefoot and pregnant" in the kitchen cooking dinner - they help around the house, they enjoy playing an active role in their children's lives, and they genuinely love and respect their wives.
Now, again, not every man who calls himself a Christian acts in that manner. In the same way, not every non-Christian man acts like a neanderthal jerk, either. Generalizations cannot possibly apply to everyone, but this is just what I have seen from my own personal experience. I'm sorry you've had bad luck with the guys, and I hope that you have better experiences in the future. But no, they're not all the same.
They are all quite different, which is a good thing.
I do have to agree with a comment above, though. When you do get married, your first responsibility is to your spouse and your family. And most Christians, especially as they reach their 20's, are thinking about their futures when they are dating, looking for someone they can settle down with. Taking care of your family isn't demeaning; it's a higher calling, and it is one that you shouldn't put yourself in the position for unless you are ready. So, if you're not ready for that responsibility, or that commitment, than it's probably best not to date, especially if the other person is wanting to make those commitments. You can't fault someone for wanting to make those commitments; it's natural, and important if you're looking to get married. Paul wrote that it is better not to marry, as it allows you to more fully serve the Lord. So, if you're not wanting to be "tied down" because it will keep you from serving God more fully, awesome! As for what else you meant by being "tied down", you didn't really elaborate on what you meant. Now, if the guy is trying to change your personality, the music you listen to, what you enjoy for fun, then it sounds less like an issue of "He wants to tie me down to a commitment" and more like a control issue. But there are certain things that are expected of both men and women when they marry, and if you're not ready for those things then you shouldn't make that commitment. It's a tremendous responsibility for both parties involved, regardless of the individual dynamics that you set up for your relationship or family regarding work situation, home situation, etc.
