so..it was a day.

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Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#1
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#1
I quit chewing on Tues. Today is thurs.....don't really want a chew. I'm stubborn that way. When I decide to do something I just do it. This post has no real motivation. Just feeling a little lonely and confused. When I came home this evening they were wheeling my neighbor away on a gurney. Same age as me...diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month ago. 3 young children who are friends with my boy. The point of it all?...not sure today but I am tired of fighting...I can tell you that. What are we fighting for? Living our lives like a war. What are we at war with.....ourselves...the devil....God?

Yesterday was my friends memorial...he killed himself in an alcoholic stupor. The message at his memorial was about whether suicide was a pardonable sin.....really.....why not ask the question why he gave up fighting his demon? Whatever...tired of religious people and religious anecdotes.


Pretty confused today....looking forward to hugging my boy tomorrow.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#2
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#2
Sirk said:
I quit chewing on Tues. Today is thurs.....don't really want a chew. I'm stubborn that way. When I decide to do something I just do it. This post has no real motivation. Just feeling a little lonely and confused. When I came home this evening they were wheeling my neighbor away on a gurney. Same age as me...diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month ago. 3 young children who are friends with my boy. The point of it all?...not sure today but I am tired of fighting...I can tell you that. What are we fighting for? Living our lives like a war. What are we at war with.....ourselves...the devil....God?

Yesterday was my friends memorial...he killed himself in an alcoholic stupor. The message at his memorial was about whether suicide was a pardonable sin.....really.....why not ask the question why he gave up fighting his demon? Whatever...tired of religious people and religious anecdotes.


Pretty confused today....looking forward to hugging my boy tomorrow.
Click to expand...
It took me about six weeks to get over my nicotine addiction. And that was after a couple of years of trying to quit or cut down.
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#3
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#3
resurrection33 said:
It took me about six weeks to get over my nicotine addiction. And that was after a couple of years of trying to quit or cut down.
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I quit for ten years once. Then I went thru a divorce. Then I quit again....then I went thru a divorce. Then I quit again and I don't plan on ever getting married again. Lol
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#4
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#4
Just got asked to play guitar at her funeral. Of course I said yes. I really wish that infraction would go away on my avatar. Feels like a scarlet letter.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#5
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#5
Sirk said:
Just got asked to play guitar at her funeral. Of course I said yes. I really wish that infraction would go away on my avatar. Feels like a scarlet letter.
Click to expand...
Infraction?
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#6
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#6
Sirk said:
I quit for ten years once. Then I went thru a divorce. Then I quit again....then I went thru a divorce. Then I quit again and I don't plan on ever getting married again. Lol
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I had a stressful weekend a few months after I quit smoking. I smoked that weekend and haven't smoked since. That was 1986. Then I couldn't get myself to stop drinking, so a month and a half later I quit drinking, also.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#7
Jul 3, 2015
62,197
31,164
113
#7
Sirk said:
I quit chewing on Tues. Today is thurs.....don't really want a chew. I'm stubborn that way. When I decide to do something I just do it. This post has no real motivation. Just feeling a little lonely and confused. When I came home this evening they were wheeling my neighbor away on a gurney. Same age as me...diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month ago. 3 young children who are friends with my boy. The point of it all?...not sure today but I am tired of fighting...I can tell you that. What are we fighting for? Living our lives like a war. What are we at war with.....ourselves...the devil....God?

Yesterday was my friends memorial...he killed himself in an alcoholic stupor. The message at his memorial was about whether suicide was a pardonable sin.....really.....why not ask the question why he gave up fighting his demon? Whatever...tired of religious people and religious anecdotes.


Pretty confused today....looking forward to hugging my boy tomorrow.
Click to expand...
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#9
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#9
Sirk said:
I guess maybe you don't see it. Maybe it's just a personal reminder that I'm not supposed to call a moron a moron. Lol
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I don't see anything about an infraction. I can't read what's in the bottom right corner - it's too tiny.
 
A

AuntieAnt

Guest
#13
#13
Sirk said:
I guess maybe you don't see it. Maybe it's just a personal reminder that I'm not supposed to call a moron a moron. Lol
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Nope, there's nothing publicly displayed that I see.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your neighbor and your friend, Sirk. Grief is such a tough battle. :(

I'm praying for you, dear.

 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#14
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#14
AuntieAnt said:
Nope, there's nothing publicly displayed that I see.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your neighbor and your friend, Sirk. Grief is such a tough battle. :(

I'm praying for you, dear.

Click to expand...
I was just talking with her over the fence. It was a beautiful sunny day. we talked about the election. Funny thing about that....a friend of hers who hated Trump asked her if she could cast her vote for her because she was too sick to go to the polls. She thanked her for her selfless gesture and asked her to vote for Tump. Lol. The lady respected her wishes and voted for Trump in her stead.
 
PennEd

PennEd

Senior Member
#15
Apr 22, 2013
13,704
9,190
113
#15
Hey Sirk! Hang in there buddy. Feelings and pain are temporary. I know you already know that. Just reminding you. Lifting you in prayer and your neighbor in prayer tonight.
 
C

CharlieGrown

Guest
#16
#16
Praying for you Sirk, and your neighbors family. One day we'll do nothing but laugh, but until then... Family!
 
Sirk

Sirk

Banned
#17
Mar 2, 2016
8,896
113
0
#17
CharlieGrown said:
Praying for you Sirk, and your neighbors family. One day we'll do nothing but laugh, but until then... Family!
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I like to laugh. Too much seriousness in the world.
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#18
#18
Sirk said:
I quit chewing on Tues. Today is thurs.....don't really want a chew. I'm stubborn that way. When I decide to do something I just do it. This post has no real motivation. Just feeling a little lonely and confused. When I came home this evening they were wheeling my neighbor away on a gurney. Same age as me...diagnosed with pancreatic cancer about a month ago. 3 young children who are friends with my boy. The point of it all?...not sure today but I am tired of fighting...I can tell you that. What are we fighting for? Living our lives like a war. What are we at war with.....ourselves...the devil....God?

Yesterday was my friends memorial...he killed himself in an alcoholic stupor. The message at his memorial was about whether suicide was a pardonable sin.....really.....why not ask the question why he gave up fighting his demon? Whatever...tired of religious people and religious anecdotes.


Pretty confused today....looking forward to hugging my boy tomorrow.
Click to expand...
I am so sorry, but no matter what happened today does not define what tomorrow or the next day will bring. Today was horrible watching a family lose a mother and wife and you lost a good friend, but you brought the best gift of all to them, you brought yourself one of the most cherished creations God ever made with your rocking sense of humor and made her family's last days with her more comfortable.

Something else that I have noticed in my life, when it seems like you are going thru a hard time God is getting ready to do something awesome on your life and it's the enemy's way of creating doubt of what God is capable of. Food for thought I suppose
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#19
Jan 24, 2011
11,786
2,960
113
#19
You may be stubborn, but getting free from an addiction is bound to cause some re-arranging of the mental processes. I've been cutting down gradually on prednisone and it is throwing me for a loop, although I really want to get off, it is so hard in the body.

Then add death and sickness to your plate, and no wonder you are a bit "contemplative" about life. Sending you some hugs and praying for you!
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#20
Apr 18, 2013
9,735
2,789
113
#20
Sirk said:
I quit for ten years once. Then I went thru a divorce. Then I quit again....then I went thru a divorce. Then I quit again and...
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I think you've simply misdiagnosed your problem.

You clearly have some kind of addiction to FEMALES... and that, according to scripture, is the root cause of your problems.
( "Honey is the root of all evil." )

Unfortunately, with this addiction, diagnosis is NOT the first step to recovery.

There is no recovery.

There is no recovery for any of us.

We're all doomed.
 
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