If we're talking of that which was around in Jesus's time, then my attitude is if Jesus didn't do it or talk about it or the disciples didn't do it or talk about it ,,Then i aint gonna do it.
can a person whose a murderer be a christian that murders or a peopdophile a christian that abuses children, or a thief be a christian who steals. in my reconing if they continue in such then its not the christianity that i know.
Its not meant to be about us but about what the lord wants, not my will but thy will be done as Jesus said.
and as far as god being male or female, he told us to call him father, so regardless of what we think, do we follow as directed by Jesus or again make our own faith up as we go along..