Both parents together as an expectation for a wife? I'm sorry but I don't understand. Can someone explain?
Why hold someone accountable for their PARENT'S actions and mistakes?
That sounds like a very western individualist way of thinking. Asian collectivists tend to think a spouse from a good family is likely to have good family values.
I'm a man, so I'll talk about marrying a woman. If you marry a woman who had a good, strong home life with parents who got along well and did not argue and were not verbally abusive, communicated affection for one another and the children, then she has a good 'script' to imitate as a wife and parent. She had a father in the home, so she may know how to react to men and submit to a male authority figure. She may know how to express affection with her husband and be comfortable receiving expressions of affection.
But if she was raised just by her mom, men may seem like strange creatures to her. She is not used to interrelating with a man on a daily basis, and may not have much experience submitting to a male authority figure. She may feel uncomfortable receiving affection from a man and may not know how to handle it.
If her mom sat around telling her how bad men are all the time, you'll have to deal with that, too.
If she had verbally abusive parents, the 'script' may tell her to call her kids ugly and stupid, and her husband, too. If she grew up in a violent home, that may seem normal to her.
You can apply a lot of this to a man raised in a dysfunctional family as well.
But I believe God can redeem people. One of the problem with lists of criteria is if you get too detailed, almost no one can marry. There are a lot of great potential spouses out there who have flaws. Everyone has a flaw. IMO, commitment to staying married, staying faithful, and issues related to not being excessively angry and not being violent are good ones to have for non-negotiables. It is also wise to reject an excessively lazy person as a potential spouse.
Dating or courtship should be to find a spouse, too, not for entertainment purposes.
My wife's family background was not ideal, and she has been a blessing to me. I don't think it is wise to be too insistent about a spouse coming from a perfect family and having absolutely no flaws.