It may be presumptuous to know how the woman best for you would decide...
Unless, of course, the lady you hope to be your wife should expect that of her someday-maybe-spouse (you).
Ask God to grow quality and/or consistency, practice them on your part.
In that case, (pray about this),
"Am I practicing the things I want to do, so I may see/experience practical improvements?"
(See Romans 7:15; Romans 12)
As far as this post goes, (the one you are reading) it is non-judgmental.
Treat each area of your life as if you are presenting your life to God,
not as he will accept it only, but as He wants to "receive" the "blessing."
"Do everything as unto the Lord."
Trust that God graciously forgives.
Ask God to help her,
to accept your past.
And to accept a future with you,
as you cannot change the past and you are being transformed by God's Presence, through Christ.
Finally, ask God to help you to not write yourself off.
To limit what you can do is to limit what God has done.
"Lord, please help Dai to acknowledge any sin that needs confessed.
Give him a heart of humbleness to do this. But also give him discernment on when and with whom to share.
In the "lifestyle" matter, help him to begin or continue to take needed action, leaning on Your Understanding.
And bless the woman who will work best with him and he with her. Let them both love you above one another.
Of course, God, bring them together in the time most suitable for them both and to your Greater Plan.
Regardless of who or when, get the Glory, in Jesus' name, amen."