We should force him to read every Austen novel and confess to the beauty of her cannon of work, and to recant his idiotic comparisons.
Though never one to resist a joke that so obviously leaves itself open, I have to wonder if your fantasies of dominating and torturing me makes me wonder if you have been reading that Shades of Gray novel after all. I do opine though I might rather have a rat cage tied to my face than read 1984 again.