Importance of Oneness

[Hungry]

I wouldn't say that I am vexed with a decision, but I am perplexed. Being in construction I have bouts of being laid off. This feast or famine lifestyle takes it's toll on many areas of life. Sometimes I'm forced to travel for work and be away from the family. My wife makes good money and we are not struggling financially. For the purpose of stability I would like to start a company, even part time so I would not be completely dependent on working for other people.

My wife is completely opposed to the idea. She likes it when I'm laid off sometimes because I help with more of the work around the house. Things run smoother. As a man however, I'm not wired this way. My desire to be successful does not include the never ending chores at home. Since I value the opinions of other Christians I'm asking you here.

Is it my ego that is telling me to seek glory in the workplace to leave a legacy, or is it God's call for every man to do so? Is my role as the leader in the family to tell my wife, "I'm the boss here, this is what I'm going to do," even if I don't need the money? These times when I'm not working are always opportunities to get closer with God. Is stepping out in faith, an even greater opportunity? In one sense I feel that I'm wasting I'm gifts and in the other I feel that God is humbling me.

Thanks for your input.

 

[Adstar]

Do not allow emotions / feelings determine your course of action..

Starting a business has to be a hard headed financial decision.. You must fully investigate the pitfalls and market out there for the Business you are thinking of starting.. You need to know all the accounting ""tricks"" Tax laws and Business costs.. Many new Businesses go to the wall because they quote too love for a job and wind up getting burnt.. Many new subcontractors go to the wall because of cash flow troubles because a lot of the businesses that do deals with them withhold payment for their world as long as they can thus causing the New subcontractor starved of money to get into high debt to keep their business going while waiting for the payments they should have received months ago...

There are a lot of snakes out there and they play a lot of dirty tricks.. So beware and know what you are getting into before you jump in..

Oh and in your current position save when you are feasting.. Spend when you are in famine..

Having an intermittent type of work should cause you to be very tight with money and be focused on building up as big of a cash reserve as you can to get you through the lean times.. This policy will also give you a cash reserve that could save you if you start a business of your own and you get caught in the Late payment for your services trap...

I hope the LORD blesses you in what ever path you decide to follow.. But make sure you do not allow pride to dictate your path.. pride comes before a fall

(Proverbs 16:18 KJV) "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."

 

[godwinkc]

Whatever is blocking my access into the realm of the spirit, blood of Jesus wash them away now.

 

[Hungry]

Do not allow emotions / feelings determine your course of action..

Starting a business has to be a hard headed financial decision.. You must fully investigate the pitfalls and market out there for the Business you are thinking of starting.. You need to know all the accounting ""tricks"" Tax laws and Business costs.. Many new Businesses go to the wall because they quote too love for a job and wind up getting burnt.. Many new subcontractors go to the wall because of cash flow troubles because a lot of the businesses that do deals with them withhold payment for their world as long as they can thus causing the New subcontractor starved of money to get into high debt to keep their business going while waiting for the payments they should have received months ago...

There are a lot of snakes out there and they play a lot of dirty tricks.. So beware and know what you are getting into before you jump in..

Oh and in your current position save when you are feasting.. Spend when you are in famine..

Having an intermittent type of work should cause you to be very tight with money and be focused on building up as big of a cash reserve as you can to get you through the lean times.. This policy will also give you a cash reserve that could save you if you start a business of your own and you get caught in the Late payment for your services trap...

I hope the LORD blesses you in what ever path you decide to follow.. But make sure you do not allow pride to dictate your path.. pride comes before a fall

(Proverbs 16:18 KJV) "Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall."

Yeah, thanks for the good advice. I have a passion for fitness. I was thinking of being a personal trainer/nutritionist on the side and see what it grows into. I think my wife sees it as more of a hassle than anything and doesn't want me training any women. There goes 75% of the potential clients. I'm not sure if God blessed me with this passion to serve others or it's just something that makes me feel good. It's funny because I realize how important health is and at the same it's all vanity.

 

[godwinkc]

O Lord, help me to help my generation to know you and don't let me be dismayed in Jesus mighty name Isaiah.41;10

 

[kaylagrl]

I wouldn't say that I am vexed with a decision, but I am perplexed. Being in construction I have bouts of being laid off. This feast or famine lifestyle takes it's toll on many areas of life. Sometimes I'm forced to travel for work and be away from the family. My wife makes good money and we are not struggling financially. For the purpose of stability I would like to start a company, even part time so I would not be completely dependent on working for other people.

My wife is completely opposed to the idea. She likes it when I'm laid off sometimes because I help with more of the work around the house. Things run smoother. As a man however, I'm not wired this way. My desire to be successful does not include the never ending chores at home. Since I value the opinions of other Christians I'm asking you here.

Is it my ego that is telling me to seek glory in the workplace to leave a legacy, or is it God's call for every man to do so? Is my role as the leader in the family to tell my wife, "I'm the boss here, this is what I'm going to do," even if I don't need the money? These times when I'm not working are always opportunities to get closer with God. Is stepping out in faith, an even greater opportunity? In one sense I feel that I'm wasting I'm gifts and in the other I feel that God is humbling me.

Thanks for your input.

Men have and A to B to C outlook,direct route.Women see more,A to C and then B. It may take more time and have more twists but works out better in the long run. Thats why I dont hold to the "Im the leader,I make the decisions" tact.Women have something of value to offer.

For example my family use to travel in ministry. Three of us women to one man,my father. Ya I know,poor guy.lol And his outlook was always take the direct route,on everything. And us women would often say no and he'd get upset.So we'd have to draw him a picture of why doing it another way would be better in the end.Men are one track,get it done.Sometimes it pays to listen and ask questions. JMO

 

[santuzza]

I have so many things to say, I don't know where to start..

1. Why do you want to start your business? Is it to accumulate more money? Is it to soothe your ego? Is it to make you feel more manly? That's what I'm getting from your post. Just make sure your motives are pure -- how will this glorify God? How would it spiritually and emotionally support your wife and kids? etc.

2. Sometimes being a leader means being a servant. So, in your times of unemployment, it sounds to me that you're helping out at home. Helping with the housework, fixing things up (I trust you can do this as a carpenter), making home a better, more secure place for your family. And it gives your wife (who is also working outside of the home) a bit of a break with all the housework. That sounds like a pretty good option to me. I can see why she enjoys those times.

3. Since you're on financially solid ground, why would you want to risk financial security (which is VERY important to your wife and kids) by starting a business?

With all these things said, I do understand wanting to start your own business. Hubby and I own our own business and are completely self-employed. Hubby actually started it as I had a full-time job, but it happened out of necessity as he was no longer able to find full employment. It's now grown into a business that he and I run, and neither of us are working outside of the household (other than my very part-time position as a music minister). It's pretty cool. So if you DO start your own business, I would suggest you choose something that your wife could join you in at some point down the road.

Just my two (or three) cents...

 

[godwinkc]

YES Brother and the spirit of grace and truth rest on us in the name of Jesus Christ, John, 1;14

 

[sevenseas]

I don't think this is a decision that others here can help you with other than to speak out of their own experience and that does not mean they are right or wrong; it means they are telling you what they think will work because it might work for them.

I think the best thing to do would be to pray with your wife and seek an answer from God.

You both should agree in what you decide. Ultimately though, you need to have peace and be at peace with your decision.

In the future, things could change so whatever you decide it does not mean it will always be that way.

 

[sevenseas]

Here's a great verse from Proverbs that seems to apply

Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. Proverbs 16:3

 

[Hungry]

I have so many things to say, I don't know where to start..

1. Why do you want to start your business? Is it to accumulate more money? Is it to soothe your ego? Is it to make you feel more manly? That's what I'm getting from your post. Just make sure your motives are pure -- how will this glorify God? How would it spiritually and emotionally support your wife and kids? etc.

2. Sometimes being a leader means being a servant. So, in your times of unemployment, it sounds to me that you're helping out at home. Helping with the housework, fixing things up (I trust you can do this as a carpenter), making home a better, more secure place for your family. And it gives your wife (who is also working outside of the home) a bit of a break with all the housework. That sounds like a pretty good option to me. I can see why she enjoys those times.

3. Since you're on financially solid ground, why would you want to risk financial security (which is VERY important to your wife and kids) by starting a business?

With all these things said, I do understand wanting to start your own business. Hubby and I own our own business and are completely self-employed. Hubby actually started it as I had a full-time job, but it happened out of necessity as he was no longer able to find full employment. It's now grown into a business that he and I run, and neither of us are working outside of the household (other than my very part-time position as a music minister). It's pretty cool. So if you DO start your own business, I would suggest you choose something that your wife could join you in at some point down the road.

Just my two (or three) cents...

Let's bump it up to a nickle. Pennies are now obsolete in Canada. I'm not starving but a bigger house sure would be nice. I think every man wants to make his mark and feel that he has made a contribution to this world. What I'm trying to determine is whether the gifts that God gave me, that I am supposed to be using for His glory, to be of service are being wasted.

There is part of me that wants to take the leap of faith and produce something, and help others achieve their fitness goals. I can't tell whether God put it on my heart or I did. My gifts point in that direction. I suppose I don't want to be before the Lord with my buried talent.

On the other hand, is God using my wife's apprehension to keep my ego in check and I'm supposed to just be waiting like Joseph in prison or Moses in the desert. All I want is God's will in my life...it sometimes remains ambiguous.

 

[sevenseas]

In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6

We can strive within ourselves and we can strive with others or we can rest in God and allow for His wisdom and guidance to become the central theme of our lives.

 

[Hungry]

I don't think this is a decision that others here can help you with other than to speak out of their own experience and that does not mean they are right or wrong; it means they are telling you what they think will work because it might work for them.

I think the best thing to do would be to pray with your wife and seek an answer from God.

You both should agree in what you decide. Ultimately though, you need to have peace and be at peace with your decision.

In the future, things could change so whatever you decide it does not mean it will always be that way.

I've already made the decision for now to not start a business. I just hope it's the right one. I can't imagine the Godly decision would be to jeopardize the harmony of my home for me. What I am trying to determine is if all men feel the need to make their mark and have a compulsion to leave a legacy. I honestly feel like a caged lion right now with all this passion busting to manifest itself.

As well, I'm wondering if I should expect my wife to trust me and stand behind me.

Isn't there anybody out there who feels like they are larger than the shadow they cast? When I want to run, I feel I am forced to crawl. Isn't our purpose on earth to be more than to just make enough money? I want my life to mean something. When God calls me home, I want to point to something and say I helped with that. I want to know if these urges are just my ego that needs to deflate or it is the Holy Spirit shoving me and I'm dragging my feet because it wouldn't make my "help meet" happy. I can really see it both ways. I might be too close to this situation to be objective, so I'm seeking the wisdom of other believers. Maybe somebody has gone through this and can say, "Dude take the shot," or "I took the shot and it cost me everything."

It's not really a crisis, but it is a fork in a one way road. I thank all of you for your wisdom and answers, even if I don't say so individually.

 

[santuzza]

It sounds to me that you've got your head wrapped around the issue pretty well!

I know you've put it on the back burner for now, but I wouldn't completely turn it out. While you're waiting for further guidance from the Holy Spirit, come up with a business plan. Get some good, strong facts about your business -- how you would market it, where would you offer your services, etc. And keep your wife in the loop -- even if you're doing all the work on it, she needs to "own" it too.

The Holy Spirit will continue to nudge you if it is something that God wants you to do.

 

[sevenseas]

I've already made the decision for now to not start a business. I just hope it's the right one. I can't imagine the Godly decision would be to jeopardize the harmony of my home for me. What I am trying to determine is if all men feel the need to make their mark and have a compulsion to leave a legacy. I honestly feel like a caged lion right now with all this passion busting to manifest itself.

As well, I'm wondering if I should expect my wife to trust me and stand behind me.

Isn't there anybody out there who feels like they are larger than the shadow they cast? When I want to run, I feel I am forced to crawl. Isn't our purpose on earth to be more than to just make enough money? I want my life to mean something. When God calls me home, I want to point to something and say I helped with that. I want to know if these urges are just my ego that needs to deflate or it is the Holy Spirit shoving me and I'm dragging my feet because it wouldn't make my "help meet" happy. I can really see it both ways. I might be too close to this situation to be objective, so I'm seeking the wisdom of other believers. Maybe somebody has gone through this and can say, "Dude take the shot," or "I took the shot and it cost me everything."

It's not really a crisis, but it is a fork in a one way road. I thank all of you for your wisdom and answers, even if I don't say so individually.

I'm really sorry you feel 'like a caged lion' , that's really a frustrating thing.

You know, marriages are unique. What is good for one is not necessarily good for another.

It sounds like you may feel your wife is not behind a decision for you to start a business?

I'm also someone who chomps at the bit and I have had to learn patience and the lesson isn't over yet. Have you considered this may be a time of personal growth for you in the Lord?

I am not downsizing your feelings. I am sure they are very real. It does sound like a fork in the road for you. Perhaps you have already, but sit your wife down and ask her to listen, really listen, to your thoughts and feelings.

I think honest communication here would be support for a start.

I just thought of another scripture about how we make our plans but the outcome is in God's hands. So much to consider.

 

[Hungry]

My wife and I did talk and she has no idea why I don't get enough fulfillment out being a dad and husband. To her this should be my only desire. Work is just a way to pay the bills and any extra energy should be lavished on her and the kids. I wish I was wired that way. I try but it doesn't provide an outlet for the potential I feel stored up inside me. I try not to be resentful because I feel that if God was that interested in my help then it would not be beyond His capability to influence her heart. I think it may be ego and I am surrendering all to Him. Surrender...it hurts to even think it. I want my boys to be inspired when they think of me and somehow I feel like I'm setting a bad example. I feel that it's only hypocritical to tell them to follow their dreams, when I ignore my own. Either way, I do have many things to be thankful for, and I try to make the best of it. Thanks for listening, this has been very therapeutic.

 

[Willie-T]

If you decide to become licensed and insured in construction, check very thoroughly with your insurance carrier first.

The difference in the cost of insurance and bonding for varying levels of construction licensing can be staggering. I am not kidding.

 

[Depleted]

I wouldn't say that I am vexed with a decision, but I am perplexed. Being in construction I have bouts of being laid off. This feast or famine lifestyle takes it's toll on many areas of life. Sometimes I'm forced to travel for work and be away from the family. My wife makes good money and we are not struggling financially. For the purpose of stability I would like to start a company, even part time so I would not be completely dependent on working for other people.

My wife is completely opposed to the idea. She likes it when I'm laid off sometimes because I help with more of the work around the house. Things run smoother. As a man however, I'm not wired this way. My desire to be successful does not include the never ending chores at home. Since I value the opinions of other Christians I'm asking you here.

Is it my ego that is telling me to seek glory in the workplace to leave a legacy, or is it God's call for every man to do so? Is my role as the leader in the family to tell my wife, "I'm the boss here, this is what I'm going to do," even if I don't need the money? These times when I'm not working are always opportunities to get closer with God. Is stepping out in faith, an even greater opportunity? In one sense I feel that I'm wasting I'm gifts and in the other I feel that God is humbling me.

Thanks for your input.

I think wives get the easy part in a marriage. All we have to do is submit.

Husbands get the tough part. "Love your wives as Christ loves his church." For your wife's sake, what is loving her like Christ loves the church in this idea? Out of love, what should you do?

 

[Hungry]

If you decide to become licensed and insured in construction, check very thoroughly with your insurance carrier first.

The difference in the cost of insurance and bonding for varying levels of construction licensing can be staggering. I am not kidding.

Thanks for the heads up. It's been said that if you are going to go into business for yourself make sure it's something you are passionate about. I like construction but fitness is my passion. It's something I already do anyways, I was just wanting to monetize it. I agree it's those little things overlooked that really get you.

 

[Depleted]

I've already made the decision for now to not start a business. I just hope it's the right one. I can't imagine the Godly decision would be to jeopardize the harmony of my home for me. What I am trying to determine is if all men feel the need to make their mark and have a compulsion to leave a legacy. I honestly feel like a caged lion right now with all this passion busting to manifest itself.

As well, I'm wondering if I should expect my wife to trust me and stand behind me.

Isn't there anybody out there who feels like they are larger than the shadow they cast? When I want to run, I feel I am forced to crawl. Isn't our purpose on earth to be more than to just make enough money? I want my life to mean something. When God calls me home, I want to point to something and say I helped with that. I want to know if these urges are just my ego that needs to deflate or it is the Holy Spirit shoving me and I'm dragging my feet because it wouldn't make my "help meet" happy. I can really see it both ways. I might be too close to this situation to be objective, so I'm seeking the wisdom of other believers. Maybe somebody has gone through this and can say, "Dude take the shot," or "I took the shot and it cost me everything."

It's not really a crisis, but it is a fork in a one way road. I thank all of you for your wisdom and answers, even if I don't say so individually.

An old joke:
It happened! As often as people say, "You can't take it with you," an old rich man figured out how. When he died, he took it with him. At the Pearly Gates, he showed Peter the large bucket of gold.

Peter said, "Oh great! More asphalt."

Moral of the story: You think God's going to be impressed if you're rich?

The best things I've done in life I wasn't paid for.

And I did own my own business at one time. (I got paid. lol)

So, you want a legacy? Great. Plenty of ways to help people. Help people! You're in construction? Someone near you needs help and can't afford it. You'd make a good trainer? Someone near you lost a lot of tone from a major health scare and needs help regaining muscle. Your wife is overwhelmed by housework? What is so wrong in giving her a nice clean house?

It doesn't have to end up as asphalt in heaven to be a legacy.