What Happens When Looks Fade? (And Why Are We Still So Concerned About Them?)

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BruceWayne

BruceWayne

Senior Member
#21
Aug 7, 2013
3,694
357
83
Gotham City
#21
I don't really think about it with myself, but I don't see anything wrong with maintaining a look that you want for yourself and I'm not going to pretend that physical attraction doesn't matter. As for my person, she's always going to be the same for me. I don't think that I would ever think that her looks have faded.

 
M

Miri

Guest
#22
#22
I think I must be strange. I don't go for the pretty boy look.
I prefer a face with character, a bit rough around the edges.
Oh and bald men are very attractive, their smile reaches right up to their forehead.
I think grey neat hair on a man looks very distinguished too!

Soooo if you are gray haired or bald, have a bit of a crooked nose. Then you
are in with a chance. :D
 
seoulsearch

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
#23
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
113
#23
Miri said:
I think I must be strange. I don't go for the pretty boy look.
I prefer a face with character, a bit rough around the edges.
Oh and bald men are very attractive, their smile reaches right up to their forehead.
I think grey neat hair on a man looks very distinguished too!

Soooo if you are gray haired or bald, have a bit of a crooked nose. Then you
are in with a chance. :D
Click to expand...

Found your dream guy right here, Miri.

He even loves children! (As long as they can be offed for a big inheritance.)

 
M

Miri

Guest
#24
#24
Baw ha ha. :D

Ps forgot to mention, I might even be tempted by a 90 year old billionaire. :D
 
Prov910

Prov910

Senior Member
#25
Jan 10, 2017
880
47
0
#25
seoulsearch said:
Ironically (or maybe due to the grace of God), Mr. Vincent does have a wife who apparently loves and takes care of him, even in his current state (at least, he did, according to the handful of articles and interviews I read/watched in order to write this thread.)
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I hadn't realized that. But I'm glad to hear it. I certainly don't think JMV is a bad person. He just made poor life choices. A lot of them.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#26
Aug 2, 2009
24,576
4,265
113
#26
Beleive it or not, one can actually look good at any age. I've seen beautiful women who are in their 40's, 50's and 60's.. and its NOT plastic surgery either. In fact, trying to look young with cosmetic surgery usually ends up making the person look worse.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#27
Aug 2, 2009
24,576
4,265
113
#27
zeroturbulence said:
Beleive it or not, one can actually look good at any age. I've seen beautiful women who are in their 40's, 50's and 60's.. and its NOT plastic surgery either. In fact, trying to look young with cosmetic surgery usually ends up making the person look worse.
Click to expand...
I just want to add that it all boils down to staying fit and healthy. In fact, you can just stay fit and it won't matter if you're a chain-smoking, junk-food junkie.. you'll still look great!

Christie Brinkley at age 60(!!):

ChristieBrinkleyatage60Whatshersecret-57008.jpg
 

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A

Amazing-Grace

Guest
#28
#28
seoulsearch said:
As we all know, getting older is inevitable, and beauty fades away. The Bible tells us instead to concentrate on our relationship with God and allow Him to renew our hearts and minds.

But yet, why do we pay so much attention to beauty, even as believers? Anyone who says that looks aren't important to believers probably hasn't participated in any "Christian" dating events.

We tell ourselves that what's inside is what really counts... Yet we torture ourselves to try to look as good as we can, for as long as we can... And we often find ourselves gravitating to the best-looking (at least, in our eyes) people... As Christians, we are supposed to be better than that. But how?

* Do you ever think about what will happen when your own looks fade, or, if you marry someone you find to be good-looking... what will happen when they don't look as good to you (or everyone else) anymore?

* What are you thoughts about trying to hang on to youth and beauty as it fades away? (Many people don't just see it as vanity, but rather, trying to hold on to their spouse.)

* What do you do to remind yourself to look at another person's inner beauty, rather than concentrating all your attention to the outside?

As I get older, I know that I sometimes struggle more with trying to define the boundaries between self-care and self-preservation. Do any of you?

I would love to hear your feelings in response to these questions and anything else having to do with the topic of looks.

Please feel free to post your thoughts... and let your inner beauty shine. :)
Click to expand...
These are all interesting points you make. Now to answer your questions;

Firstly, there is IMO nothing wrong with admiring outer beauty but we should take it at face value (if you pardon the pun) and not consider it of much importance - certainly not when considering a romantic attachment. I have learned to admire both men and women for the depth of their relationship with God.

Secondly, assuming Christians marry for love, that love deepens into a more steady, warm and comfortable kind of love as time goes by. Age should not be a factor especially considering couples age together.

Thirdly, I think there is a fine line between wanting to look good and presentable to being vain. Personally I love to get my hair, nails and eyebrows done but I draw the line at paying for treatments I cannot afford and I certainly wouldn't have tattoos (I know I'm pretty much a lone figure there) or invasive surgery - in fact I wouldn't even have botox so I draw the line after anything that comes in a bottle I guess. For me, it's all about confidence not vanity nor is it anything to do with "holding on to a spouse" or attracting the opposite sex.

Just a few of my thoughts.

Oh and regarding childhood crush's and Jan Michael Vincent, it's interesting that my biggest childhood crush of them all David Cassidy has also struggled with alcohol addiction, has 3 failed marriages behind him and is now suffering from the early staged of dementia - how sad is this! :(
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#29
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#29
I know my Husband and I have changed over the years. When we got married I was 29 and he just turned 31, now he's almost 49 and I just turned 47. Unless I look at a picture I don't really notice a lot of changes. We both look older, we've both put on a few pounds and my hair has changed a million times. Neither one of us smoke or drink a lot. We sometimes eat crappy food but most of the stuff we eat is made here in this house. I guess we just roll along and not worry much about nature. His knee is crap because he has arthritis now and I have arthritis in my ankle. It is what it is, I'm just happy I have someone to grow old with, well I hope we do.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#30
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#30
So this is us, one is our wedding day and the other is about 17 years later, yep we've changed.
 

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Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#31
Aug 13, 2014
24,892
8,154
113
#31
seoulsearch said:
As I get older, I know that I sometimes struggle more with trying to define the boundaries between self-care and self-preservation. Do any of you?
Click to expand...
I'm reminded of a one-frame comic I saw. A middle-aged couple were jogging together in the park. The wife says to the husband, "Then it's agreed. Two more years and then we both let ourselves go." =^.^=


As for what is self-care and what is preserving good looks, that seems to depend on the intent behind the effort. One can work out and eat right for both reasons. One can take care of one's body for vanity, for good health or both.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The answer to "why am I doing this" is not a one-and-done matter. It's a question that needs an answer frequently, and the answer might change in a year or even in a week.
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#32
#32
seoulsearch said:
As we all know, getting older is inevitable, and beauty fades away. The Bible tells us instead to concentrate on our relationship with God and allow Him to renew our hearts and minds.

But yet, why do we pay so much attention to beauty, even as believers? Anyone who says that looks aren't important to believers probably hasn't participated in any "Christian" dating events.

We tell ourselves that what's inside is what really counts... Yet we torture ourselves to try to look as good as we can, for as long as we can... And we often find ourselves gravitating to the best-looking (at least, in our eyes) people... As Christians, we are supposed to be better than that. But how?

* Do you ever think about what will happen when your own looks fade, or, if you marry someone you find to be good-looking... what will happen when they don't look as good to you (or everyone else) anymore?

* What are you thoughts about trying to hang on to youth and beauty as it fades away? (Many people don't just see it as vanity, but rather, trying to hold on to their spouse.)

* What do you do to remind yourself to look at another person's inner beauty, rather than concentrating all your attention to the outside?

As I get older, I know that I sometimes struggle more with trying to define the boundaries between self-care and self-preservation. Do any of you?

I would love to hear your feelings in response to these questions and anything else having to do with the topic of looks.

Please feel free to post your thoughts... and let your inner beauty shine. :)
Click to expand...

I don't care about looks on other people - It really is what is on the inside.
I think/know it's different when it comes to myself because I don't want to get judged for looking like a dead rat that got ran over by a truck lol. There are a lot of people who are not like me or some others and care a lot about physical looks.
 
T

TemporaryCircumstances

Guest
#33
#33
My sister has a boyfriend (She's 21) and when she was visiting us she literally said "I'm never getting pregnant because if I was fat my boyfriend would break up with me"

It's quite sad, but just another example of how a lot of people are
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#34
Aug 13, 2014
24,892
8,154
113
#34
"True beauty is not how a person looks. True beauty is how a person reacts when the waiter gets his order wrong. When a person is dealing with unpleasant things, that is when you see whether he is beautiful or ugly."
 
Lynx

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
#36
Aug 13, 2014
24,892
8,154
113
#36
By the way, when I use my android phone and look at the Singles Forum main page it doesn't show who started a thread. But when I was on my lunch break today and caught up with the forum, I didn't have to even guess who started THIS thread.
 
H

Hellooo

Guest
#37
#37
Just a warning, my thoughts are going to be all over the map because I'm waiting in line at a pharmacy and not really editing for grammar and such.

As we get older don't we also find our perception of what's attractive also ages?
In my early twenties, the idea of dating a 40 year old seemed kind of gross, being with someone who had grays was foreign to me..because my peers were also mainly my age, students, mostly unmarried.
Now that I'm almost 31 it isn't a big deal..my 'peers' are all across the spectrum, and aren't defined by age ( the natural result of going through the education system)
These days a 20 year old seems like a baby to me. It wouldn't matter how youthful or attractive a 20 year old guy was, we wouldn't be compatible.


Fillers, botox, and such dont interest me, but i am conscious of maintaining my health, skin, fitness, mind, all that jazz...while i do like to look a certain way for myself, and I do want to be attractive for my guy (he's won me over with his personality but I sure aint mad at his looks) my aging concerns primarily revolve around maintaining a good quality of life. So hopefully as I/we age (I don't think it's necessarily fading) i'm/we're just still trying to be active and adventurous and all that
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#39
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#39
I can't afford plastic surgery so I just use clear tape.
 
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