How do you all decrease your stress levels?

[toinena]

When I am stressed and worried, it is difficult to focus and to formulate prayers. I then turn on some worship songs that are dear to me and try to find peace and a grateful heart. Then I can pray. Listening to worship, singing out loud when driving to work... then I can handle even the most stressful situations. And.... meditating over the armor of God is very powerful. If my mind is chaotic then I really calm down when putting on the helmet of salvation. I always find peace and joy in the spirit when I seek the Lord in prayer and worship.

 

[posthuman]

i'm having an hard time figuring out how to answer this question, because i don't really ever get very stressed.

i try to work hard at the things i "can" affect ((recognizing that i can be incompetent, and scatterbrained, and forgetful, and so my working isn't always as effective as i hope)), and the things i can't see a way to do anything about, or my efforts don't look sufficient, i don't worry about. i know worrying never helps any situation; anxiety makes things worse, and hampers anyone's ability to perform well and act wisely in any situation. ((though cognizance & awareness of situations, i am not calling "worrying" here)).

probably because i've spent so much of my life in schools, taking classes, the best example i can give is having an exam or a project. i work hard at completing the task, and i don't neglect to study, but when it's time to take the exam or turn in whatever it is, it's not stressful - it's a relief, because i know that there is no nothing more i can do; it's out of my hands. i may regret that i didn't do more - but regret looks toward the future: what i lacked in the past is what i should try not to lack next time. all my life i've though it was bizarre how so many people fret so much after they've handed in their paper - at this point, what in the world is that stress good for? maybe it's just pent-up energy from doing the work; people's bodies and minds at high-alert, high-processing level, for the thing they just did, and they don't know how to control that in themselves so all that energy just bounces around and becomes anxiety. maybe it's just a lack of zen lol, to calm your body as well as your mind.

how many times is it written, Jesus saying not to worry?
that's the root for me - Him. Christ is my zen. He is life, and truth, and my identity is in Him, and He is all i need - He is my food and drink, and my light and my rest!

"be still, and know that I am God"
He will be exalted in all the earth; He will do all His will
​

i feel like when i get anxious, that i should ask Him to forgive me, because it's me not trusting Him, or some other failure on my part - and i seek Him, and i trust Him, and He is peace, and there is no anxiety.

[HR][/HR][HR][/HR]
i do things to "unwind" or "relax" after arduous days. but i see that as different ((though i guess it is like what i mentioned earlier, putting pent-up energy to some use, or putting it away)). internally, when stress comes up in me, i go through something like the thought process above; it's automatic.

 

[TraySir]

Please help a sister out and don't just say "I read the bible...", give me specific things you do or meditate on that decrease your stress levels

I'll start. Last night I told God every. single. worry. that I have right now, it took me about an hour (eye roll) and I fell asleep right after. I remember the emotional burden being lifted from my shoulders as I neared the end of the list.

Your turn

I think back on November 8 of last year. It will take some time for the horror and the pain of the last eight years to fully subside.

 

[OwzK]

Before I got too old to deal with it, I taught weekly classes to ex-offenders concerning the understanding of, and the use of, REBT in our daily lives. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is akin to CT, Cognitive Therapy, in that both deal with learning to reduce excessive emotional reactions to events that occur in our lives.

In simple terms, all this means is that if we recognize all the elements in a particular happening, (or as many as we can, with the information available to us) we can far more easily respond in a manner that is less reactively emotional, than if we go off half-cocked..... reflecting only what is necessarily a reflexive, knee-jerk response to the immediate stimulus.

Suppose, prior to that traffic accident, you had been driving down the road in a car that hadn't yet been wrecked. (I'm taking us back to a happier time, transportation wise. LOL) Someone swerves in front of you, cutting you off and nearly hitting you. "No!" you might say, "That wasn't just 'Someone', it was a careless, thoughtless Jackass who had no concern for anyone else on the road!"

You would be mad, right? Fuming! And justifiably so....... or so you rationalize. (If we can say that our thinking is always rational.) But, a few blocks on down the road, you see the same car smashed into a light pole. Both rationalization and justification, together, kick in this time. "Aha! I knew it! That fool got what he deserves."

Your anger actually gets over-ridden with your smugness. You stop your vehicle... more to gloat and possibly give him a piece of your mind than because of any desire to help.

Until it dawns on you. You hear one of the first-responders state that he must have been having a heart attack, one that probably began several minutes earlier. (about the time he would have passed you)

Are you seeing the point I am making? Your initial assessment was all wrong. Had you have been armed and prone to Road Rage, you just might have fired off a couple of rounds at that inconsiderate, selfish idiot.................. Two minutes ago.

I don't want to hog the thread, so may I simply suggest that you do a bit of research, and Google "REBT" for yourself. You just might discover the first step in learning how to use a tool that can help you reduce a lot of stress in your life. (There's far more to it than I can go into here.)

That is right, that is EXACTLY right about how the situation with the guy driving the car would go. And yes, I see your point EXACTLY there. Instead of knowing the facts, you just make a judgement based on what you see, and let your emotions get into it and then, in the end when you learn that the guy was having a heart attack, you had no intention of trying to help him but were filled with the anger and smugness. Like you said, the assessment was TOTALLY wrong.

I will google REBT. Thank you SO much for the advice

 

[OwzK]

I live in Philly, so traffic is assumed here. Traffic jams? I've gotten to the point where I can almost predict them by what hour it is, (and not just rush hour traffic. I also deal with sporting events, concerts, shows, and politicians coming to town that are guaranteed to overwhelm our roads. Even 10-10:30 AM and 2-3:30 PM are jamming times, because that's when those of us not going to work tend to go on the roads. lol) Do I have a realistic expectation on jams? IDK. I like them. I cannot sing. I'm so bad yowling cats ask me to knock it off. BUT leave me in the car by myself where no one else can hear me, and I'm singing as loud as I want to songs I love. So, the only time it bothers me is when I forgot to refill the gas tank and I'm worried I'll run out of gas before it's over. (Also, traffic is a game. Do I win that spot, or do I let someone else win that spot? lol)

Worried about being attacked? I know Philly enough to know where I shouldn't be. Outside of that, how prepared can I be? The only way someone can attack me is to sneak up on me. Okay? They sneaked well enough not to get caught. Then I deal with it when I have to. I've never been attacked in Philadelphia and I've lived here since 1991. I was attacked on an empty road with nothing but fields on both sides of it in the boondocks of Jersey. There is no way to prepare for an attack. There's only what you will do if attacked. I'd rather not waste my time constantly worried about it.

Someone mouths off at me? It really depends on what else is going on. Is it worth dealing with? And if I feel it is, what other problems can that cause? A doctor spent MY appointment time telling me I was a hypochondriac, a liar, and a disgusting pig. Did I want to respond? Of course, but the thing he said I was lying about was "no one can be on three blood thinners, once more four." We were talking about my husband, who I still wanted to visit in the hospital that day and was incredibly weak and getting weaker, because he WAS on four blood thinners, losing blood so much he needed three units of blood in two days, and I certainly didn't want to waste my time with that doctor arguing when I could be spending time with my hubby, who needed me. Later on, I could prove to him I wasn't a hypochondriac too, but by that time it just wasn't worth it to face that jackass again. There's a cost for sticking up for ourselves. If it cost too much to bother with or if it changes nothing, it's wasted effort.

Most of the time we get angry with other people over some slight, we spend far more time nursing that wound than the person spends even remembering the event. Think I'm a disgusting pig? Okay. That's your problem, (Genrally "you," not specifically you), not mine. Think I'm a hypochondriac? Okay. So what? Think I'm a liar? That one is sheerly related to future events. If I need you to trust me later on for something important, I'll try to convince you I'm not. If we part ways, exactly why should I defend myself?

Insults really aren't as important as we think they are. Most people will listen to the gossip at the cost of someone else, but the reasonable people will judge for themselves the reality of the charges. Most of the time, the insulter is the one that loses trust, not the insulted. (Also, my logic why I rarely defend myself on this site.)

The best axiom I received when I was young has taught me not to take minor crap so hard:
At 20, I cared about what people thought about me.
At 40, I stopped worrying about what people thought of me.
At 60, I realized people weren't thinking about me.

Think about it. Even after you judge someone for whatever, how long after that have you forgotten all about that person? AND, how often do you even take the time to think about another person? Aren't you spending most of your time thinking about you? Seriously? That's true for most of us. So, why waste time wondering about what others think of you when in reality they, too, are busy thinking about themselves?

Realize you're in the spotlight a lot less often than you fear, and there is that calm you'd like. I'm pretty sure I haven't been attacked because I simply look like the type of person not worth noticing. I'm just not important enough for someone so obsessed with self that they'd take time out to notice me. (I can even sing loudly in a traffic jam and beat my hands on the steering wheel, yet no one ever noticed the strange old lady next to them screaming along to Neil Diamond of Janis Joplin. lol)

At least, I think. Then again, I'm not noticing most others because I too am absorbed with me.

I think my fear of being attacked or targeted is for many reasons. I don't want to sound like a type of person who just makes excuses. But it could be my upbringing being hit by my mum when I was growing up and had to go to hospital once because of it. And bullied when I was starting high school for a few years, sexually assaulted at this time too, maybe that could have had an impact on the way I think and on what I think is "safe" and made me obsessed with feeling like I'm being targeted and never safe.

You're right, a lot of the time, it just isn't worth arguing over stuff with people when they diss you or something. Most of the time, it just will give you more trouble and it's better to just shut up and ignore it. But i will always get angry when I hear people dissing me over something. True, like if I don't know the whole story then I shouldn't get angry cos that's like common sense. But if I find out they mouth off about me, yes most times I won't do anything cos it would land me in a bad spot. But it will make me angry with them.

You're right, I do spend more time thinking about me, my college work, and what's happening in my life generally. Interests, hobbies, what uni I'm gonna choose, etc. And yes, after I judge someone I forget about it pretty quickly to be honest.So you're right, why should I let it bother me and let it make me overthink and dwell on what they said... get fuelled up with anger at them just for that one comment or whatever they said.

I want others to notice me, I always do stuff differently to be noticed and to be different. It's just my charecter to be different, because I just don't wanna be the same as everyone else. I wanna stand out, I want people to notice me, because I am a show-off to be honest and because I want attention and for people to be like "WOW" at. Just the wannabe celebrity personality in me I think. I'm also a perfectionist which both helps me and damages me. Helps me in motivation, drive and desire to preform the best I can with college work and stuff. But is destructive when everything isn't perfect and doesn't go to plan.

 

[Willie-T]

That is right, that is EXACTLY right about how the situation with the guy driving the car would go. And yes, I see your point EXACTLY there. Instead of knowing the facts, you just make a judgement based on what you see, and let your emotions get into it and then, in the end when you learn that the guy was having a heart attack, you had no intention of trying to help him but were filled with the anger and smugness. Like you said, the assessment was TOTALLY wrong.

I will google REBT. Thank you SO much for the advice

I think you can apply this to so many other situations, and see the chaos (and even criminal acts) that could quickly arise from PERCEPTIONS that may have been totally erroneous.

 

[Depleted]

I think my fear of being attacked or targeted is for many reasons. I don't want to sound like a type of person who just makes excuses. But it could be my upbringing being hit by my mum when I was growing up and had to go to hospital once because of it. And bullied when I was starting high school for a few years, sexually assaulted at this time too, maybe that could have had an impact on the way I think and on what I think is "safe" and made me obsessed with feeling like I'm being targeted and never safe.

You're right, a lot of the time, it just isn't worth arguing over stuff with people when they diss you or something. Most of the time, it just will give you more trouble and it's better to just shut up and ignore it. But i will always get angry when I hear people dissing me over something. True, like if I don't know the whole story then I shouldn't get angry cos that's like common sense. But if I find out they mouth off about me, yes most times I won't do anything cos it would land me in a bad spot. But it will make me angry with them.

You're right, I do spend more time thinking about me, my college work, and what's happening in my life generally. Interests, hobbies, what uni I'm gonna choose, etc. And yes, after I judge someone I forget about it pretty quickly to be honest.So you're right, why should I let it bother me and let it make me overthink and dwell on what they said... get fuelled up with anger at them just for that one comment or whatever they said.

I want others to notice me, I always do stuff differently to be noticed and to be different. It's just my charecter to be different, because I just don't wanna be the same as everyone else. I wanna stand out, I want people to notice me, because I am a show-off to be honest and because I want attention and for people to be like "WOW" at. Just the wannabe celebrity personality in me I think. I'm also a perfectionist which both helps me and damages me. Helps me in motivation, drive and desire to preform the best I can with college work and stuff. But is destructive when everything isn't perfect and doesn't go to plan.

I'm the kind of person that if I ever wanted to go to Hollywood, I'd want to construct sets, not act on the sets. I keep forgetting the other kind of person is just as needed. (No actors, no need for sets.) lol

As for that abuse still hanging over you? That quiet road was where I was picked up to be raped. I want you to know, there is healing after abuse. Find the counseling that helps you, because the abuse itself leaves a mark that only abusers can see. The counseling helped me get rid of that mark.

 

[blue_ladybug]

I eat mini M&M's.. LOL

 

[posthuman]

Now we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this surpassingly great power is from God and not from us. We are pressed on all sides, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always consigned to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our mortal bodies. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
(2 Corinthians 4:7-12)​

 

[Willie-T]

I eat mini M&M's.. LOL

How many M&M's?

 

[Depleted]

Now we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this surpassingly great power is from God and not from us. We are pressed on all sides, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.
We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always consigned to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our mortal bodies. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
(2 Corinthians 4:7-12)​

Many years ago, we were friends with missionaries -- a husband and wife team who took on evangelism in Southwest Philly. He came to church that Easter morning and told us his 19-month-old son had died in his sleep two nights before. (Can you imagine even having the ability to go to church so soon afterward?)

19-month-olds don't die without getting an autopsy, and the police had spent much of the day before making sure the two of them did not kill him. (It would take another 6 weeks before the autopsy report said they could find no cause, so it was probably SIDS.)

The following Wednesday, we went to the little-guy's funeral. And that is the scripture his father read. To me that is the ultimate in stress relief.

 

[RickyZ]

Please help a sister out and don't just say "I read the bible...", give me specific things you do or meditate on that decrease your stress levels

I'll start. Last night I told God every. single. worry. that I have right now, it took me about an hour (eye roll) and I fell asleep right after. I remember the emotional burden being lifted from my shoulders as I neared the end of the list.

Your turn

I have a sledgehammer in the back yard that I use on offending objects. It works real well! Haven't tried it out on any people yet, but I'm making a list

 

[oldethennew]

ask Jesus to teach us how to 'not-engage' in negative, unprofitable, conversions and how to NOT
take the 'bait' of the un-godly...

 

[Miri]

One word.

Chocolate!

Actually it's not that far off, eat sleep, rest, look after yourself etc,
Even Jesus needed to go somewhere quite from time to time on his own.

Wonder if they had chocolate in those days.

 

[RickyZ]

One word.

Chocolate!

Actually it's not that far off, eat sleep, rest, look after yourself etc,
Even Jesus needed to go somewhere quite from time to time on his own.

Wonder if they had chocolate in those days.

Scientists have discovered that chocolate was invented at least 3,100 years ago in Central America and not as the sweet treat people now crave, but as a celebratory beer-like beverage and status symbol.Researchers identified residue of a chemical compound that comes exclusively from the cacao plant - the source of chocolate - in pottery vessels dating from about 1100 BC in Puerto Escondido, Honduras.


Read more: Chocolate invented 3,100 years ago by the Aztecs - but they were trying to make beer | Daily Mail Online

 

[Miri]

Scientists have discovered that chocolate was invented at least 3,100 years ago in Central America and not as the sweet treat people now crave, but as a celebratory beer-like beverage and status symbol.Researchers identified residue of a chemical compound that comes exclusively from the cacao plant - the source of chocolate - in pottery vessels dating from about 1100 BC in Puerto Escondido, Honduras.


Read more: Chocolate invented 3,100 years ago by the Aztecs - but they were trying to make beer | Daily Mail Online

Maybe they ended up inventing a malted chocolate drink instead!

 

[RickyZ]

Maybe they ended up inventing a malted chocolate drink instead!

That sounds much better, I've never cared for chocolate beer!

 

[imfinallyfree]

I don't talk to Him either because when nothing gets better I just get frustrated.

The most effective method to reduce stress for me was excercise but that takes a surplus of calories or else you can get sick I do anyways ,I don't excercise now because I don't even have 500 cal a day.

Also foods that lower blood presseure helped a lot for me you know low sodiom low sugar no caffeine.

Just going for a walk helped a lot reading also helps but for me I have to lower my stress beforehand,talking anonymously on forums helps sometimes sometimes it makes it worse.

Id say that I'll pray for you but that never helps me,I'll think of you positively though!