Having multiple wives can lead to the possibility of one being loved over another, but that is not always the case. We don't see any mention of favoritism for Gideon's wives, Lamech's wives, Esau's wives, Caleb's wives, Reheboam's wives, Abijah's wives, Joash's wives, etc. Are we to assume that because favoritism did occur a few times, that it always occurred? If you drive a car, you might get killed in a head-on collision. Many, many people have ended up that way. That doesn't make driving a car sinful. The possibility that one wife might be preferred, does not make it a fait accompli. The Bible tells us of what happens WHEN favoritism occurs, as a warning for those who practice polygamy, not to show such favoritism. God cares enough about the unloved wife, that he will make her fruitful, as a compensation for the lack of love she receives from her husband. Elkanah alludes to that when he asks Hannah if he was not better than ten sons. Favoritism is perhaps too strong. The condition facing Leah and Peninnah, was not that their husband loved the other wife more, but that he did not love them at all!
Having multiple wives, does not mean that if you love one wife too much, you will run out of love, and not have enough left for the other wife or wives. Natural desires for your wife or wives come and go, and often are dependent upon how well a particular wife treats her husband. However, there are built in attractions that a man can have for a woman, that simply take hold of him, which is why many men desert their wives for that woman. I see the woman my former worship pastor left his wife for, and it leaves me scratching my head. What on earth was the guy thinking? It's kind of like Ross deciding between Julie and Rachel on the TV show "Friends"!
The only thing that makes a man want to leave his wife for another woman, is the realization that he cannot have both women! If that were not the case, we would have fewer divorces, and fewer broken homes. That trumps any concern over who gets treated for favorably.
