Self health books on Sex....are they ok for Christians?

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L

Lamar

Guest
#1
#1
I would like to get some perspectives and a general idea of what is acceptable for christian couples who want development or new ideas for sex.

I aim to improve in everything I do. This desire for growth is same for sex. I just assumed that Self help books on sex were an acceptable thing for a married couple to use together. My wife does not have the same perspective. I understand that some of the photos cause her to feel like she can never measure up to the "perfect" bodies that are in the photos. What do you think? are these self help book on sex ever helpful for a christian couple?
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#2
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#2
Every couple is different, help books can be informative however the things suggested may work for some and not for others. if a marriage couple seeks advice to improve the intimacy in their relationship i don't see anything wrong with it. As a husband it's one of your marriage duties to please your wife & vice versa.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,702
113
#3
You could try using sex toys.. lol
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#4
#4
Lamar said:
I would like to get some perspectives and a general idea of what is acceptable for christian couples who want development or new ideas for sex.

I aim to improve in everything I do. This desire for growth is same for sex. I just assumed that Self help books on sex were an acceptable thing for a married couple to use together. My wife does not have the same perspective. I understand that some of the photos cause her to feel like she can never measure up to the "perfect" bodies that are in the photos. What do you think? are these self help book on sex ever helpful for a christian couple?
Click to expand...

Couldn't tell you,never looked into one. All I can say that if your wife is uncomfortable you need to find something else. Communication is the best path for any marital issue and will help improve your marriage.
 
Rockrz

Rockrz

Banned
#6
Dec 3, 2016
1,674
26
0
#6
My wife does not have the same perspective
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Listen to your wife... she's right, you folks do not need to be looking at porn as that is a sin.

If you continue in this, you will destroy your marriage.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#8
#8
blue_ladybug said:
That was the point of my post.. LOL :eek:

Like Lynn says, you never know what I might say.. lol
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​My mother was a nurse when she was younger. From her point of view toys that aren't properly cleaned can end you up in the doc office trying to explain your embarrassing infection. The ick factor is too high for me. :p
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#9
#9
Lamar said:
I would like to get some perspectives and a general idea of what is acceptable for christian couples who want development or new ideas for sex.

I aim to improve in everything I do. This desire for growth is same for sex. I just assumed that Self help books on sex were an acceptable thing for a married couple to use together. My wife does not have the same perspective. I understand that some of the photos cause her to feel like she can never measure up to the "perfect" bodies that are in the photos. What do you think? are these self help book on sex ever helpful for a christian couple?
Click to expand...
Honestly? I was the kid that never wanted to get married, the teenager that just wasn't interested into sex or romantic relationships, and so by the time future-hubby came along, I was as skilled and knowledgeable about sex as I am about rocket science. (Just the mere basics/bird-and-bees version.)

BUT, when I was 22 and going through drug rehab, the wife of the guy running the place came in to teach us gals about sex. Little problem developed. Her talk was supposed to be for adults like me who were clueless, but someone took the opportunity to bring in teen girls from a group home. She really didn't want to get into the specifics around the teens, (some were only 12-14), so she summed it up with, "If it feels good to you, it feels good to him."

Perfect! That was my ticket. (Some imagination required, since we aren't built the same way as guys.)

That is probably enough for her. And if it's not, I have to go with the two of you talk even during, right? So tell what you want and listen when she tells you what she wants. (Hubby was married before, so he was much more experienced than I was.)

And, truly, understand sometimes you don't get what you want. To be subtle here (and I'm not good with subtle, so excuse me if I'm too subtle you don't get it, or really, if I'm not subtle enough :eek:), but I know a guy who was so bedridden, he couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. He was in the hospital, so they have tubes for that -- both kinds. Apparently the "back end" tube hurts going in, so he made the nurse putting it in laughing when he said, "Now I know for sure I could never a be homosexual."

There really are some things most people just are never going to do, no matter how much you ask. Loving someone is to trust they know what they will and won't do.

And, yes, I can recommend a self-help book we had, but truthfully, because hubby taught me everything he likes and I taught him everything I like, it really didn't matter past the one question left in my head this many decades later: "Seriously? If women don't shave their pits they get THAT hairy?" :eek:
 
W

wwjd_kilden

Guest
#10
#10
Self help books on sex?
That's a thing?

Why make it complicated?

- Ask her what she wants to try, what she might want to try and what is a definite no.no
- Let her know your likes / dislikes
- Start experimenting
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#11
#11
wwjd_kilden said:
Self help books on sex?
That's a thing?

Why make it complicated?

- Ask her what she wants to try, what she might want to try and what is a definite no.no
- Let her know your likes / dislikes
- Start experimenting
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That's an oversimplification. In fact that very thing is what can Lead to a stagnant sex life. "Too much of a good thing" and all. After years of doing all the same things it can become dull and repetitious, so finding new things to add in can reignite that area of your life.
 
BillG

BillG

Senior Member
#12
Feb 15, 2017
9,069
4,473
113
#12
I think us men need to be very careful at what we look at but also what we watch whether it be on TV or the internet.

We are stimulated by sight and our minds do not think the same way as females do when it comes to intimancy.

part of your problem which you do acknowledge but seem to bypass is the fact you think she will think that she will not measure up to perfect bodies in the photos in the books.

If you know that then why suggest it? If you do then all your doing is reinforcing her thoughts of not having a perfect body and therefore she is not sexy to you.

Lets be honest us men are quite base when it comes to sex. And let's be honest our wives are not, and to be more honest it does our head in.

We just want to rock and roll, they want to be wined, dined, kissed, caressed, massaged and so on.

I have been married for 24 years and I have had to learn a lot in this area.

My favourite aftershave is POLO. In the early years my wife used to call me the POLO man.

I was never sure why. When I asked her why she would say "When you put POLO on you say pants of legs over"

I have to learn that saying pants of leg over is actually quite selfish, it's all about my pleasure and not hers.

So I have learned to set myself aside, ask her what pleases her and try to please her.

We have 4 kids, as you can imagine after my wife has given birth to 4 kids her body is not perfect.
Now at times she looks at her body and gets a bit of a downer, I reassure her that to me her body is perfect and it's the only body I want to look at and love.

If you want my honest opinion, put the book aside, put your base mind aside.

Talk to each other about what works and what doesn't.

Listen to her, hear what she is saying. Let her know you love her and want her
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#14
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
0
71
#14
Lamar said:
I would like to get some perspectives and a general idea of what is acceptable for christian couples who want development or new ideas for sex.

I aim to improve in everything I do. This desire for growth is same for sex. I just assumed that Self help books on sex were an acceptable thing for a married couple to use together. My wife does not have the same perspective. I understand that some of the photos cause her to feel like she can never measure up to the "perfect" bodies that are in the photos. What do you think? are these self help book on sex ever helpful for a christian couple?
Click to expand...
I've never married, but the thought of a married couple needing help in this area seems rather far-fetched.
 
Rockrz

Rockrz

Banned
#15
Dec 3, 2016
1,674
26
0
#15
It's good to not touch a woman!

Jesus said those of the resurrection will not be given in marriage and will be single like the angels are.

So, better get your booty call while you can... in the end believers will be married to the Lord exclusively and there will be no sex as it is known here on club earth.
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#16
#16
There are Christian books/advice out there without any pornography or other forms on inappropriateness; that might be better since non-Christians don't really have the right view of sex anyway.
 
M

MattforJesus

Banned
#18
Apr 15, 2017
2,867
653
113
#18
Lamar said:
I would like to get some perspectives and a general idea of what is acceptable for christian couples who want development or new ideas for sex.

I aim to improve in everything I do. This desire for growth is same for sex. I just assumed that Self help books on sex were an acceptable thing for a married couple to use together. My wife does not have the same perspective. I understand that some of the photos cause her to feel like she can never measure up to the "perfect" bodies that are in the photos. What do you think? are these self help book on sex ever helpful for a christian couple?
Click to expand...
If someone is looking for self help,why would they buy a book written by somebody else,for that is not self help,but help.

There is no such thing as self help,for if you did it yourself you did not need help,you did it yourself.

Try to pay attention to the language we all agreed on.

But I joke.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#19
Feb 21, 2014
70,951
9,702
113
#19
Dude...Seriously? :/



Rockrz said:
It's good to not touch a woman!

Jesus said those of the resurrection will not be given in marriage and will be single like the angels are.

So, better get your booty call while you can... in the end believers will be married to the Lord exclusively and there will be no sex as it is known here on club earth.
Click to expand...
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#20
#20
blue_ladybug said:
That was the point of my post.. LOL :eek:

Like Lynn says, you never know what I might say.. lol
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But, but there are children here.....:p

Methinks Blue needs her mouth washed out with soap and put in a time out. Kidding lol
 
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