Let Your Husband Be a Man?

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Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#21
#21
I'm not sure how to feel about that article.

Part of me is kind of offended because I don't act like the "typical" man. I don't do "man" things; I don't need or want lovin' on a regular basis; I can out-cook any woman I've ever met...and those things don't endear a woman to me. Being authentic, honest, trustworthy, kind, polite, emotionally appropriate, and others are the things I value. So, I guess it boils down to -> you don't have to "do" anything to earn my love and affection besides earn it -> if you earn it, you should value it and treat it as the precious gift it is -> if I feel loved, I will feel like showing love...but as a "non-man", I don't show love in the ways most women expect a man will want to.

Articles like this show me just how freakin' weird I am.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#22
#22
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
I'm not sure how to feel about that article.

Part of me is kind of offended because I don't act like the "typical" man. I don't do "man" things; I don't need or want lovin' on a regular basis; I can out-cook any woman I've ever met...and those things don't endear a woman to me. Being authentic, honest, trustworthy, kind, polite, emotionally appropriate, and others are the things I value. So, I guess it boils down to -> you don't have to "do" anything to earn my love and affection besides earn it -> if you earn it, you should value it and treat it as the precious gift it is -> if I feel loved, I will feel like showing love...but as a "non-man", I don't show love in the ways most women expect a man will want to.

Articles like this show me just how freakin' weird I am.
Click to expand...


Actually you sound like you have some things in common with my hubby. He's a great cook! Pretty much what you said you value in a woman,he said the same to me. Because I traveled in ministry from the time I was 16 I knew zip about house keeping and cooking. He told me "Im not marrying you because I need a housewife,Im marrying you because I love you." I have it all down pat now but it was a lot easier because he took all the pressure off of me. So I dont think you can make a blanket statement about what women or men want.
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#23
#23
DustyRhodes said:
amor vincit omnia...love conquers all...first we have to love ourselves then we can begin to love others.
so when we enter a marriage with love as is described in scripture it is likely to be succesful..if we enter
marriage for any other reason, it's bound for failure...marriage is this...it is not what you can do for me
but it is, what can i do for you...there is no bargaining or compromise...we do all that we do with love...
we don't say ok i'll do this for you if you do this for me...it doesn't work with our relationship with God
and it won't work in marriage...we do each thing with love without asking for return...if i do 10 things
for my wife and she does none for me doesn't mean she owes me ten...nor will she count up the things
she does for me...i believe this is God's plan...so i humbly post my opinion for perusal...it has worked
in our marriage for 52 years...maybe it can work for others too
Click to expand...
I think you are missing something cruicial with the statements you made here....we must know how to love God before we can love anyone because he is love. If we don't love God and do not have a personal relationship with him we have no idea what love really is
 
DustyRhodes

DustyRhodes

Senior Member
#24
Dec 30, 2016
2,117
599
113
#24
renewed_hope said:
I think you are missing something cruicial with the statements you made here....we must know how to love God before we can love anyone because he is love. If we don't love God and do not have a personal relationship with him we have no idea what love really is
Click to expand...
posted: we enter a marriage with love as is described in scripture it is likely to be succesful. i guess i thought the rest wasn't necessary but understood...but i don't disgree with you at all...those are necessary
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#25
#25
kaylagrl said:
Quote "Anytime any place? (Within reason because privacy is good.) Check."

Good,cause I dont want to see your face on the news for havin nookie in the wrong place. ;)

Quote "(My husband tore out the bathroom walls one day. I asked him why. "Because you said the tile was ugly." The tile WAS ugly. That's why I said it. I didn't expect to tear down the walls simply because of that. I figured we'd live with ugly tiles. )

Rofl communication is everything huh?
Click to expand...
36 years into this and we're still not always getting it right. lol
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#27
#27
This is one of those things that isn't really gender specific. There are general male and female traits and expectations, but you have to be flexible in the event who you end up with doesn't fit so neatly into a category.
So in a broad sense this may apply.
As far as treating a woman like a queen, no thanks. I hate these ideas. Neither do I want to be treated like a king. What I will do is respect her, love her, take care of her and grow as a person because of her, and I expect the same in return. Two people talking care of each other and encouraging each other. This 'royalty' treatment concept actually goes against healthy love because it suggests one is beneath the other. Marriage is a partnership so I will never refer to a wife/gf as a queen or princess (or let myself be refered to as a king which is rarely if ever stated, it's always treating women like queens) but I will love her completely and do my best to be the best man I can be for her. And she will do her best to be the best woman for me.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#28
Apr 18, 2013
9,739
2,793
113
#28
Ugly said:
This is one of those things that isn't really gender specific. There are general male and female traits and expectations, but you have to be flexible in the event who you end up with doesn't fit so neatly into a category.
So in a broad sense this may apply.
As far as treating a woman like a queen, no thanks. I hate these ideas. Neither do I want to be treated like a king. What I will do is respect her, love her, take care of her and grow as a person because of her, and I expect the same in return. Two people talking care of each other and encouraging each other. This 'royalty' treatment concept actually goes against healthy love because it suggests one is beneath the other. Marriage is a partnership so I will never refer to a wife/gf as a queen or princess (or let myself be refered to as a king which is rarely if ever stated, it's always treating women like queens) but I will love her completely and do my best to be the best man I can be for her. And she will do her best to be the best woman for me.
Click to expand...

I disagree.

A man should treat his woman like a queen.



[video=youtube;ugUaxot1UgE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugUaxot1UgE[/video]
 
PrynceNY

PrynceNY

Banned
#29
Aug 16, 2016
2,184
62
0
#29
Ugly said:
This is one of those things that isn't really gender specific. There are general male and female traits and expectations, but you have to be flexible in the event who you end up with doesn't fit so neatly into a category. So in a broad sense this may apply. As far as treating a woman like a queen, no thanks. I hate these ideas. Neither do I want to be treated like a king. What I will do is respect her, love her, take care of her and grow as a person because of her, and I expect the same in return. Two people talking care of each other and encouraging each other. This 'royalty' treatment concept actually goes against healthy love because it suggests one is beneath the other. Marriage is a partnership so I will never refer to a wife/gf as a queen or princess (or let myself be refered to as a king which is rarely if ever stated, it's always treating women like queens) but I will love her completely and do my best to be the best man I can be for her. And she will do her best to be the best woman for me.
Click to expand...
While i respect your perspective i don't argee with the suggestion of "one being beneath the other". Treating her like a queen in a broad sense is spoiling her with an abundance of love and affection.
 
Tinkerbell725

Tinkerbell725

Senior Member
#30
Jul 19, 2014
4,216
1,179
113
Philippines Age 40
#30
Husband and wife are equal in essence but not in roles. And these roles are God given so they must be honored. The husband is in charge and responsible for his wife. The wife's role is to help/support the husband. If the purpose of marriage is to rule and have dominion over the earth then husband and wife are fit to be like honorable king and queen. The husband desires to be respected not literally like a king and the wife desires to be cherished, although not necessarily like a queen because too much of that can lead to idolatry.
 
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#31
#31
maxwel said:
I disagree.

A man should treat his woman like a queen.



[video=youtube;ugUaxot1UgE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugUaxot1UgE[/video]
Click to expand...
Just as a woman should treat her man as her king...ya know curtsey as she leaves the room to follow some of his requests and fetch his morning paper and coffee.


Seriously though I would think that would be a little romantic..to put someone else's needs before your own ;)
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#32
#32
renewed_hope said:
I think you are missing something cruicial with the statements you made here....we must know how to love God before we can love anyone because he is love. If we don't love God and do not have a personal relationship with him we have no idea what love really is
Click to expand...
Very good point!
 
Desertsrose

Desertsrose

Senior Member
#33
Oct 24, 2016
2,824
207
63
#33
Hillarious!

[video=youtube;uHzSwsIGFUY]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHzSwsIGFUY[/video]
 
Namiette

Namiette

Senior Member
#34
Feb 13, 2016
163
13
18
#34
From my experience I know, that a man will never love you, if he doesn't want to... no matter what you do... The articles like "10 ways to make your husband to do ..." do not work... it's in the heart... if he doesn't want to love you, honor you and give you what you need, then he will never do this, no matter how much you try... if your need is nonsense in his eyes, then he will not do it for you... if he wants you only as a housewife, then none of your effort will change him... it's a matter of heart... you can pray, but you cannot make him to do what he doesn't want to do...
but that's only my experience and my humble point of view.
 
Y

Yahweh_is_gracious

Guest
#35
#35
kaylagrl said:
Actually you sound like you have some things in common with my hubby. He's a great cook! Pretty much what you said you value in a woman,he said the same to me. Because I traveled in ministry from the time I was 16 I knew zip about house keeping and cooking. He told me "Im not marrying you because I need a housewife,Im marrying you because I love you." I have it all down pat now but it was a lot easier because he took all the pressure off of me. So I dont think you can make a blanket statement about what women or men want.
Click to expand...
I think that overall I was trying to say that I don't like the idea of typical gender roles, whether they be unsaid expectations of me as a male, or those imposed upon women. In my mind (weird little house of horrors that it is), roles are acting, and come with a whole slew of expectations attached to them that people must work constantly to maintain - and fail most of the time so that they also get to be on the receiving end of disappointment on a regular basis.

I think I was also trying to say that if a woman takes the opportunity to get to know me and expects me to fulfill a role, she's going to be disappointed. If she's open to accepting me as I am, which generally goes against the grain of what modern society has defined as "a man", then we might have a chance of getting along.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#36
#36
Yahweh_is_gracious said:
I think that overall I was trying to say that I don't like the idea of typical gender roles, whether they be unsaid expectations of me as a male, or those imposed upon women. In my mind (weird little house of horrors that it is), roles are acting, and come with a whole slew of expectations attached to them that people must work constantly to maintain - and fail most of the time so that they also get to be on the receiving end of disappointment on a regular basis.

I think I was also trying to say that if a woman takes the opportunity to get to know me and expects me to fulfill a role, she's going to be disappointed. If she's open to accepting me as I am, which generally goes against the grain of what modern society has defined as "a man", then we might have a chance of getting along.
Click to expand...


Quote "I think that overall I was trying to say that I don't like the idea of typical gender roles, whether they be unsaid expectations of me as a male, or those imposed upon women. In my mind (weird little house of horrors that it is), roles are acting, and come with a whole slew of expectations attached to them that people must work constantly to maintain - and fail most of the time so that they also get to be on the receiving end of disappointment on a regular basis."

I think we as humans have attached all the nonsense to roles. I think with mags,tv and movies we're the ones that have corrupted what a marriage should really be.


 
Angela_grace

Angela_grace

Senior Member
#37
Jan 3, 2016
196
10
18
#37
I don't like or agree with typical roles. Like a "manly" man is tall, dark, and handsome, muscular etc. And a great woman is beautiful, can cook. Lol, idk what the typical role is put on women. Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is while those things could matter less, what I do think is important and that has sadly been forgotten it seems is that men are suppose to be the head and the women are supposed to submit. I feel like nowadays with the whole feminist idea going around women think they don't need men and they can get along without them. While it is possible to do women would benefit so much more if they heeded the words in the bible. To submit, even if it doesn't seem like the best choice. I know they're are some who have issue with that verse, "wives submit to your husbands" they always have to bring in the counterpart and while it is true "men should love their wives as Christ loves the church." I think us women have strayed away more from our duty as a wife than the men have. Honestly most of what you hear people say all that matter is that we love each other and that is so true but wives also just submit to their husbands. I think that's why they're are so many marriages that end in divorce. My opinion.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#38
#38
Namiette said:
From my experience I know, that a man will never love you, if he doesn't want to... no matter what you do... The articles like "10 ways to make your husband to do ..." do not work... it's in the heart... if he doesn't want to love you, honor you and give you what you need, then he will never do this, no matter how much you try... if your need is nonsense in his eyes, then he will not do it for you... if he wants you only as a housewife, then none of your effort will change him... it's a matter of heart... you can pray, but you cannot make him to do what he doesn't want to do...
but that's only my experience and my humble point of view.
Click to expand...
If he doesn't love you, don't marry him. This is about husbands and wives, not men and women.
 
Namiette

Namiette

Senior Member
#39
Feb 13, 2016
163
13
18
#39
Depleted said:
If he doesn't love you, don't marry him. This is about husbands and wives, not men and women.
Click to expand...
I will not... But I also know a couple where the husband changed his behaviour to his wife during a marriage... and none of those "reliable ways" worked... I'm praying for them...
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#40
#40
Angela_grace said:
I don't like or agree with typical roles. Like a "manly" man is tall, dark, and handsome, muscular etc. And a great woman is beautiful, can cook. Lol, idk what the typical role is put on women. Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is while those things could matter less, what I do think is important and that has sadly been forgotten it seems is that men are suppose to be the head and the women are supposed to submit. I feel like nowadays with the whole feminist idea going around women think they don't need men and they can get along without them. While it is possible to do women would benefit so much more if they heeded the words in the bible. To submit, even if it doesn't seem like the best choice. I know they're are some who have issue with that verse, "wives submit to your husbands" they always have to bring in the counterpart and while it is true "men should love their wives as Christ loves the church." I think us women have strayed away more from our duty as a wife than the men have. Honestly most of what you hear people say all that matter is that we love each other and that is so true but wives also just submit to their husbands. I think that's why they're are so many marriages that end in divorce. My opinion.
Click to expand...
I can submit to him because he loves me like Jesus loves the church. The two are intertwined.
 
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