My wife's new dog argghhhhhh lol

[Brody]

Before you judge me please understand that I have always bent over backwards to keep my wife happy as I have found joy doing so it's not like I'm a jerk lol
However my wife and I moved almost a year ago in doing so she basically inherited her mother's dog. This was not a dog she grew up with, not a dog she's always wanted just a dog her mom had and didn't want anymore and we decided to rent out her mom's place, and leaving the dog with my wife. I did not want the dog, and with all of the compromising I did I felt that was the least my wife could do is just respect how I feel about not having the dog. I can sit here for hours listing reasons why I don't want it but I just don't want the dog. We separated last year and got back together the beginning of this year....she did not have the dog the entire time we were separated and now suddenly she gets the dog back from her mom who said she was going to let it go and now it's OUR responsibility? That's not fair. I love animals, I love dogs I just don't feel WE need a dog right now, with the problems we're trying to manage, it's just another responsibility we don't need right now.
Am I being over the top? My wife's argument is "she loves animals," Lol, so??? Am I being selfish because I don't think I am.

 

[stonesoffire]

How could anyone not want a dog?

Maybe the dog is practice for the children you will have. ????

 

[preacher4truth]

#SIUBC....

 

[Magenta]

How could anyone not want a dog?

Maybe the dog is practice for the children you will have. ????

You know, I was thinking the same thing...

 

[Angela_grace]

Maybe she wants to know you'll accept her with a dog... I know I love dogs and if my potential other couldn't handle them being around, that could be a problem.

 

[kaylagrl]

Before you judge me please understand that I have always bent over backwards to keep my wife happy as I have found joy doing so it's not like I'm a jerk lol
However my wife and I moved almost a year ago in doing so she basically inherited her mother's dog. This was not a dog she grew up with, not a dog she's always wanted just a dog her mom had and didn't want anymore and we decided to rent out her mom's place, and leaving the dog with my wife. I did not want the dog, and with all of the compromising I did I felt that was the least my wife could do is just respect how I feel about not having the dog. I can sit here for hours listing reasons why I don't want it but I just don't want the dog. We separated last year and got back together the beginning of this year....she did not have the dog the entire time we were separated and now suddenly she gets the dog back from her mom who said she was going to let it go and now it's OUR responsibility? That's not fair. I love animals, I love dogs I just don't feel WE need a dog right now, with the problems we're trying to manage, it's just another responsibility we don't need right now.
Am I being over the top? My wife's argument is "she loves animals," Lol, so??? Am I being selfish because I don't think I am.

Let me tell you a story about dogs. I have two. The white fluff in the picture,who is basically the same as a cat,you hardly know she's here. If she gets out of the backyard gate, she sits patiently at the front door waiting for someone to notice she's gone and open the front door. Hubby never had a dog,he had a cat. So we're all good with dog that acts like cat.

So since hubby sometimes works late and Im alone in a big two story home,got the bright idea to get a German Shepard. I had one in my teens. So looked into it and figured Id get a female since they are a lot smaller,less aggressive and easier to train. So into our quiet,peaceful life {we have no kids and my nephews live over two hours away} I brought a Shepard pup. That "pup" is now about 130+,we bought her the biggest cage Chewy.com has to offer and her ears stick up through that. I named her Brie but should have called her Tigger because I swear the blasted thing has springs in her feet! She jumps on everyone,and not just full tackle,she does the sneaky jumps where you have your back turned and she lands on you and you're suddenly packing a Shepard on your back that wont turn loose. She's as tall as I am when she jumps up,Im a little over 5ft. I said before I got this dog I was out of shape.I said if someone ever attacked me Id be out of luck. Well no more! Im a ninja now from dog attacks. Ive been knocked down,boxed,bitten,jumped from every possible direction. She caught me one night in the face and I came in with blood running down my chin. She's now 9 months and just now beginning to slow down a little.She was afraid of strangers and hid when they came around until she found her inner Shepard one day,got off her leash at the park and snuck up on a jogger who had ear buds in and had no idea she was behind him till she started barking her brains out.Needless to say his Fitbit got a work out that day!

My husband and I have been living on two levels because as bad as she is with me,Im the only one that can handle her. My husband is 6'4 btw! So we had a discussion about getting rid of her and Im stubborn and said I was either going to train her or kill her,not sure which Soooo now we're shelling out a couple hundred to take this monster to "school". Once a week we take her to puppy lessons. She's coming along well,and by well I mean she sits on command,when she wants to,same with down and stay. As long as there is no distraction,she listens.She still does the sneak attacks and nips. Slowly she's maturing and may even be tolerable one day. And through all this hubby has been patient and just goes downstairs at night to watch tv till I put Shepardzilla to bed for her beauty sleep. So I said all that to say this,if we can handle this mutt you can handle and help out with whatever dog your wife has,trust me. Zip it,smile and take the dog for a walk,you'll earn points with the wife and you can think of me trying to train Shepardzilla and be very thankful for the mutt you've got!

 

[EarnestQ]

You have four options: 1) get rid of the dog, 2) keep the dog and resent it, 3) keep the dog and just live with it and don't worry about it, 4) learn to enjoy the silly dog anyway.

If 1 is not an option, number 4 seems like the best alternative.

There are a whole lot of worse things you could have to deal with in life. A dog is not a life threatening hardship.

 

[Depleted]

Before you judge me please understand that I have always bent over backwards to keep my wife happy as I have found joy doing so it's not like I'm a jerk lol
However my wife and I moved almost a year ago in doing so she basically inherited her mother's dog. This was not a dog she grew up with, not a dog she's always wanted just a dog her mom had and didn't want anymore and we decided to rent out her mom's place, and leaving the dog with my wife. I did not want the dog, and with all of the compromising I did I felt that was the least my wife could do is just respect how I feel about not having the dog. I can sit here for hours listing reasons why I don't want it but I just don't want the dog. We separated last year and got back together the beginning of this year....she did not have the dog the entire time we were separated and now suddenly she gets the dog back from her mom who said she was going to let it go and now it's OUR responsibility? That's not fair. I love animals, I love dogs I just don't feel WE need a dog right now, with the problems we're trying to manage, it's just another responsibility we don't need right now.
Am I being over the top? My wife's argument is "she loves animals," Lol, so??? Am I being selfish because I don't think I am.

Sorry, but I have good long-term memory. I need some catching up here. Last I heard your wife and you separated, she did a lot of things that you truly hated, and you did one whopper of a thing to retaliate (with deep regret, but that too "made" her do more things you truly hated.)

Soooo, skip the dog and let's catch up. How in the world did the two of you end up getting back together again? What has happened since, minus one dog in this story? What changed since last you dumped your life story on this forum? Not physically changed, because "got back together the beginning of this year" covers that. What changed emotionally, spiritually, and mentally? (And not necessarily in that order.)

 

[Depleted]

How could anyone not want a dog?

Maybe the dog is practice for the children you will have. ????

I don't, (unless it's stuffed.) Nothing against dogs. I like dogs.

-- I just don't like the idea of having to walk it five times a day, no matter how I feel at that moment, what's going on, or if we're in the middle of a blizzard or hurricane.

-- I don't like scooping up dog poop. Makes me gag. I also don't think it's fair for anyone else walking down the same street to face the vomit I left on the sidewalk. True, I could put that vomit in the same bag as the poop, but the poop is what made me vomit, and I hate dry-heaves even worse than wet heaves.

-- I have enough neighbors already who think it's fine if their dogs bark excessively/constantly, and I think it's unfair to bring another dog along that must be trained when to bark, and yet "all the other kids are doing it, Mommy."

-- I've already learned what happens to pets if given the cheap form of pet food all their lives, and yet I can't afford the good stuff. Nor can I afford vet bills.

-- If something goes drastically wrong with the dog, I really can't afford vet bills, and yet, exactly where is that point between keeping a love one alive and "it's just a dog?" A pet is a family member, and I can't afford that responsibility.

-- Fleas! (I live in the city, so really don't worry about ticks. lol)

-- The dog is likely to die before I do. I don't want to go through that heart break over and over again. Been there. Did that. Once was enough.

-- Stuffed animals. I'm pretty sure it has to be illegal to kill a dog if a dog does what dogs do -- chew on stuffed animals.

-- Vomit, poop, and urine on my floor when the dog gets sick. Worse yet, dogs being dogs they know better to do that where they live, so they usually do that in a spot few notice for a while. Making it doubly disgusting if found a day or week later.

-- I am just not up to "doggy parks." Not that social, and way too lazy for thinking any dog needs to be that social.

-- Dog training. Way too much work!

So, I really like dogs. I just don't want one.

(I get that part. What I'm still trying to find out is what caused this dog in their lives really, and what the real issue is, since this marriage has been one very long series of power-plays between one couple.)

 

[Depleted]

Maybe she wants to know you'll accept her with a dog... I know I love dogs and if my potential other couldn't handle them being around, that could be a problem.

Then, by all means, learn that before you get married.

 

[slave]

Hello Brody - Devoted animal lovers sometimes say their pets are like children—and like children, a furry best friend can cause plenty of strife in a relationship.

Whether it’s a disagreement about how to train a dog or a dispute over how much attention pets should get, conflict regarding pets can cause major turmoil. One study found that the average dog causes 2,000 arguments in his or her lifetime.

A disagreement about pets doesn’t have to spell the end of your relationship, but it may require that each of you make some accommodations.

But remember, in your marriage, it is not the bark that changes things, it is the bite. The surprise will come, however, when you realize, He isn't biting your spouse; He is biting you! Smile. God uses our circumstances to change lives toward Him , and produce Character within us, as men of God. (if you let it). And in the times He bites we align ourselves with God in how we are to act toward each other in our marriages.

God is teaching you that men don't own their marriage; but you know that, and that's the problem, you need some more respect on the land of give and take, for you feel you have emptied your bucket for her but she has her bucket yet half full. I get it; Hey, I'm a man and have experienced husbandry for years. We, as husbands, are only the stewards of our wives love.

iI you want to fight for your marriage go to prayer and fast for answers and live for your wife; by living a complete dependent life in Christ Jesus - first. Give up your claim of land you feel deprived of in the marriage. Your concerns give individually to God, hand it over to God so that He can love on her, thru you to see how she can love you respectfully and honestly as well.

 

[jonathanhayashi]

Brody,

I think that is actually a great question to ask! I think we so often bypass these things as we somehow think it’s not as big of an issue or take it lightly, but in a marriage (as you already know) that life is series of making choices as as this! So don’t think that you’re being over the top! It is good that you’re asking some of these crucial questions

Have you talked about some options to think through this? I tend to think in relationships we want to come up with a win-or-lose option which may work temporarily, but perhaps is not a good long term solution. Win-win solutions are the most desirable way to solve problems and conflicts. When you win and the other person wins, instead of one winning and the other losing, then everybody is happy and the relationship gets stronger as a bonus.

I hope this was helpful! Let me know if you need more practical tips in regards of talking through this with your wife

 

[joaniemarie]

Let me tell you a story about dogs. I have two. The white fluff in the picture,who is basically the same as a cat,you hardly know she's here. If she gets out of the backyard gate, she sits patiently at the front door waiting for someone to notice she's gone and open the front door. Hubby never had a dog,he had a cat. So we're all good with dog that acts like cat.

So since hubby sometimes works late and Im alone in a big two story home,got the bright idea to get a German Shepard. I had one in my teens. So looked into it and figured Id get a female since they are a lot smaller,less aggressive and easier to train. So into our quiet,peaceful life {we have no kids and my nephews live over two hours away} I brought a Shepard pup. That "pup" is now about 130+,we bought her the biggest cage Chewy.com has to offer and her ears stick up through that. I named her Brie but should have called her Tigger because I swear the blasted thing has springs in her feet! She jumps on everyone,and not just full tackle,she does the sneaky jumps where you have your back turned and she lands on you and you're suddenly packing a Shepard on your back that wont turn loose. She's as tall as I am when she jumps up,Im a little over 5ft. I said before I got this dog I was out of shape.I said if someone ever attacked me Id be out of luck. Well no more! Im a ninja now from dog attacks. Ive been knocked down,boxed,bitten,jumped from every possible direction. She caught me one night in the face and I came in with blood running down my chin. She's now 9 months and just now beginning to slow down a little.She was afraid of strangers and hid when they came around until she found her inner Shepard one day,got off her leash at the park and snuck up on a jogger who had ear buds in and had no idea she was behind him till she started barking her brains out.Needless to say his Fitbit got a work out that day!

My husband and I have been living on two levels because as bad as she is with me,Im the only one that can handle her. My husband is 6'4 btw! So we had a discussion about getting rid of her and Im stubborn and said I was either going to train her or kill her,not sure which Soooo now we're shelling out a couple hundred to take this monster to "school". Once a week we take her to puppy lessons. She's coming along well,and by well I mean she sits on command,when she wants to,same with down and stay. As long as there is no distraction,she listens.She still does the sneak attacks and nips. Slowly she's maturing and may even be tolerable one day. And through all this hubby has been patient and just goes downstairs at night to watch tv till I put Shepardzilla to bed for her beauty sleep. So I said all that to say this,if we can handle this mutt you can handle and help out with whatever dog your wife has,trust me. Zip it,smile and take the dog for a walk,you'll earn points with the wife and you can think of me trying to train Shepardzilla and be very thankful for the mutt you've got!

Wow., you need to make a quick phone call to "The Dog Whisperer"